The Pastor's Wife Gave Me Hemorrhoids!
It's the pastor's wife versus the flight attendant with roids! Opening arguments are set to begin tomorrow in a lawsuit against Victoria Osteen, wife of toothy mega pastor Joel Osteen. A flight attendant who goes by the name of Sharon Brown, claims in a civil lawsuit that Victoria assaulted her ass on a flight to Vail, CO in 2005.
Sharon said that before the flight began Victoria flipped out over a stain on her first-class seat. Victoria became so angry that she threw Sharon up against a bathroom door and elbowed her in the left tittay. That fight sounds kind of sexy, but then I look up at that picture of Victoria and it just kills the moment.
Sharon claims the incident affected her faith, caused her anxiety and even gave her hemorrhoids. Naturally.
She wants an apology from Victoria as well as punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of her net worth. So that means Sharon wants like trillions of dollars? Aren't the Osteens richer than God?!
Victoria was already fined $3,000 by the FAA for fucking with a crew member.
Why don't I ever get this kind of hot lawsuit when I go in for jury duty?! Seriously! Obviously, this is crazy bitch against crazy bitch. Which one is crazier? I'm gonna go with Sharon. Now if Victoria elbowed her in the right tittay instead, I would completely understand.
Joel Osteen is also expected to take the stand. He's going to smile the whole way through. I want to see him say "hemorrhoids" with a smile.
And I think I've got a little hot tickle in my asshole just from looking at Victoria's picture. The bitch does give you roids! There goes my social life for the week. Preparation H should hire her ass!
Source: HuffPo
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Victoria better ask his forgiveness.joels. they think they're higher up.
Joel and she can probably afford to bump up their tithing.
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Paris Hilton issues tart rebuttal to McCain ad
I love how tv pastors and their wives always sport the mega-bling. Aren't they supposed to be like, humble and shit?
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
OMG! This is a hard one. I mean, Christian whore vs. Flying whore...Not fond of the Flying whores (and no offense to you flight attendants who happen to be DListed ho's, cuz you a rank above...), but I can't stand these Evanhellical whores, so I'm gonna have to say:
Team Flying Whore!
Oh, re: one time, ages ago when I was in college, I was flying home next to some CNN douche, and the Flying Whore sat her whore ass on MY armrest to FLIRT with the CNN douche, and when I asked for a coke (the CNN douche got a beer before take off from the Flying Whore), bitch had the nerve to say to me, "I'll get it in a minute" with a 'TUDE, no less and this was AFTER take off! Forch, the CNN douche had no interest in the Flying whore and she was relegated to getting my ass a damn Coke like bitch was 'spose to do.
So it takes a lot for me to stick up for a flyin' whore, but I'm doin' it...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Now I'm guessing she's the pastor's wife and not the flight attendant. The diamonds are a dead giveaway.
You'd think god would have given them a private jet by now.
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Benidorm: Madge's pool fight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD_NI7ZyMy4
How fitting that a proponent of "Wal-Mart Christianity" would be married to a former flight attendant.