The Troll Is Off The Hook!
It looks like the evil troll known as Mary-Kate Olsen was able to answer the feds' riddle correctly, because she won't have to testify in front of a grand jury about the death of Heath Ledger. People reports that the U.S. Attorney's Office has closed its investigation.
A source said that MK was subpoenaed by a federal grand jury on April 23, but her lawyer bitch has been negotiating with the feds to keep her off the stand. She had asked for immunity before testifying. She also issued a statement saying she knew nothing about Heath's death and doesn't know how he got a hold of some OxyContin.
The evil troll might have gotten away this time, but her day is coming! That sneaky troll is probably dancing a cokey jig right now! She's feasting on children's hair and frog eyes in celebration of her victory! I hear you cackling in the darkness, MK! You won't escape next time!
TMZ also claims that the D.E.A. opened the investigation on the death of Heath even though there wasn't really a crime involved. They just wanted to get into the spotlight a little. They reportedly interviewed a dude who smoked a joint with Heath in the 90s and wanted him to testify in front of a grand jury. Stupid shit like that. The U.S. Attorney's Office finally shut down the "bogus" investigation.
Well, that's that. But can they can still arrest Mary-Kate Olsen? They can just make up a reason. I just really need a Trollsen mug shot in my life.