Happy Birthday SamRo!
HoHan's main partner in pussy, SamRo, turns 31 today! I'm sure she'll celebrate by blowing the flames out of HoHan's firecrotch. Eating cooze works for her, because the girl looks younger than HoHan. Although, that's not saying much.
I thought she should celebrate this important gayelle day by looking at a couple of pictures from SamRo's senior high school yearbook sent in to me by a reader. SamRo went to a fancy all-girls joint called The Chapin School in NYC. Above is SamRo's senior stats. We never had that shit! We only had our names and they usually fucked mine up. Here's what it all means:
Name: Samantha Ronson
Dream: Jack
Reality: Whack
Best Kept Secret: Natural blonde
Male Equivalent: Puck
Quotable Quote/Trademark: Out of uniform
Starring in the Remake of: Rebel without a Cause
Usually Found: ?
You in 20 Years: Famous
Fascinating, isn't it? And please don't tell me she's talking about Puck from the Real World: San Francisco?! Puck used to eat his own scabs! Okay, that makes sense. And it's so cliche of her to want to star in remake of Rebel without a Cause! She'll play Jim Stark of course. HoHan is way too haggard-looking to play Judy. She can play Mrs. Stark.
Here's also a page from SamRo's yearbook featuring her in a skirt! You know she totally wore shorts underneath there. And of course a picture from her basketball team. Figures. I also threw in some pictures of my favorite hipster gayelles in Los Angeles yesterday. E! reports that they recently got matching black heart tattoos on their hands. Awwww.....it is love and it's smart. I'd rather have a black heart on my body than some bitch's name. In fact, I'm going to get a black heart tatoo on my sleeve.
Wenn
So now that LL has gone gayelle, WTF is up with her hairy ass legs? Damn!!!!!! Looks like she hasn't shaved in months!!! I'll admit, I get lazy too sometimes, but holy shit! She's looking like a gorilla!!!!!!
I'd do SamRo.
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People Suck!
Submitted by missy on August 8, 2008 - 9:48am.
so now that hohan is fucking a chick she wears combat boots all the time??
*rolls eyes*
ugh
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Ha! I knew a girl like that,actually.
She had this lipstick lesbian experience. Then she started shopping in the boys department. Then she hooked up with a butch lezzie. Then she ran away and got pregnant with a stranger.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on August 8, 2008 - 12:56am.
Not to be vain or anything, but if she lost the hair, gained weight, dressed more feminine, and wore more makeup, I believe she could make a legitimately attractive woman.
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And took a bath!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
so now that hohan is fucking a chick she wears combat boots all the time??
*rolls eyes*
ugh
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ugly woman, she has a space on (lovewealthy.com)
Not to be vain or anything, but if she lost the hair, gained weight, dressed more feminine, and wore more makeup, I believe she could make a legitimately attractive woman.
So whose cock did you have to suck for that contract, sweetheart?
I was way too tired to look through all the comments and see if anyone else posted this, but I'm pretty sure she's referencing Shakespeare in saying "Puck" is her male counterpart. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume she wouldn't consider Puck from The Real World a worthy adversary (who would). Besides, Shakespeare makes her sound way more artsy and awesome and gayelle (sarcasm, minus the gayelle).
I actually woundn't mind seeing SamRo naked. I (and the rest the world) have already seen Lindsay naked -- or at least the part that counts -- and I did not enjoy it.
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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
I can't wait for the MTV production remake of Rebel Without A Cause....starring Samantha Ronson.
MONKEYPOX, we must be kindred spirits or something lol because i absolutely LOVE katherine moennig and i'm starting to like samro too. there is something about those androgynous girls that i find incredibly sexy
boyish girls are hot
Submitted by ILoveRArmitage on August 7, 2008 - 4:22pm.
If she's really 31, then she needs to start acting her age and stop gallivanting all over the place. Get a damn job and grow the fuck up. Stop acting like you're 20.
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WORD! Have any of you ever heard her "music"? or DJing "skills"?
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"I fucking drink beer and party!"
She looks like a frickin' serial killer who just dumped the body of the latest victim and can't wait to hear about it on the news.
I thought she was just around 23 or something. She looks young! Hohan looks way older than her.
Oh, and love Hohan's fake dyke boots and alkie bruises...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
SamRo looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpson's....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
what the fuck is linds wearing on her feet?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 7, 2008 - 5:25pm.
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OMG! You are so funny and trifflin' at the same time.I think I am in love w/you!♥♥♥♥
(trifflin' is my favorite word,BTW)
I am not sure how to spell it though!♥♥♥♥♥♥
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I'm Ron Burgundy?"
Submitted by Thornhill on August 7, 2008 - 6:04pm.
it's the perfect alibi!... "Herbie did it!"
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"She went down to escape from her prison.
To free herself from her fears.
All those years up to here with tradition,
and opportunity so near."
Hey MK - it's CHAPIN not Chaplin. I grew up by it, but my ass went to Spence. (Along with Gwyneth and Kerry Washington).
She looks beautiful and sexy. I saw her profile on milllionaire&celeb personals site """"C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
@ESE. I'm down fer a little hit and run action..
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Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Truth time: I'm on my rag right now, and I've had the most God-awful smelling gas all day... thankfully, they've been silent, but oh-so deadly!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Thornhill on August 7, 2008 - 5:59pm.
good point, good point... is there any way we can rent a VW Bug, spray paint a #53 on it and run her over?... and her little RonRon too?
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"She went down to escape from her prison.
To free herself from her fears.
All those years up to here with tradition,
and opportunity so near."
Submitted by mike on August 7, 2008 - 6:00pm.
I thought you all knew me as a jackass?
I'm dead serious about the smell, though. Weird, huh?
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I don't think you're a jackass. I think you're a pizza pop.
Yes, weird, and also, unfortunate. I don't envy you. I guess the good news is you won't ever have to take a chick home from the bar and discover three minutes too late she's on her period.
Submitted by mike on August 7, 2008 - 5:58pm.
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I didn't read any other comments but yours and all I have to say is FUCKING NASTY!!!!!!
yukky,Mike.
Not a talent I would want to have!LoL!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I'm Ron Burgundy?"
Submitted by mike on August 7, 2008 - 4:56pm
Agreed...the comments used to be snarky yet funny and also somewhat intelligent... Now not so much. I can smell a girl on her period too! I used to think that was really weird, but it helps me stay clear of the PMS-ing...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
That was the most hipster yearbook I ever seen, they are missing a Heathers quote so I must deduct 2 hipster points for that
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 7, 2008 - 5:59pm.
I thought you all knew me as a jackass?
I'm dead serious about the smell, though. Weird, huh?
NOOOOOOOOO. You gals/guys...PLEASE stop the TMI stories or I'm going to reciprocate and it won't be pretty. -And, nacho farts would be an vast improvement over the ungodly flatulence I've been the unfortunate nasal victim of (trapped in a car or under the covers it is ALL bad).
Sam almost has a creepy Jolie vibe going on in that picture.
She's probably like my friend, who claims to be a "natural blonde" because she had blonde hair when she was a small child (her roots are far from blonde)
Just because you were born blonde, doesn't mean your a "natural blonde" when you're older. Blonde hair tends to turn darker with age, and many children born blonde turn light, medium, or dark brunette before or during their teenage years.
Most babies are born with blue eyes, which change to brown, green, etc... Does that mean they're "naturally blue-eyed" when they get older and buy those freaky colored contacts?
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
@ESE & M5.. She had a career in the first place ...?
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Submitted by mike on August 7, 2008 - 5:58pm.
I can SMELL when a girl's on her period, at least when flow is at its heaviest. I swear.
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Are you secretly a bear?
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on August 7, 2008 - 4:53pm
That's the thing though: I don't think she needs to change a thing! The reason I like her is because she is very much and seems like she's always been the type of girl who only wears eye liner, baggy clothes and doesn't give two shits about what people think of her appearance. ANd that is ultimately so hot, at least to me!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I can SMELL when a girl's on her period, at least when flow is at its heaviest. I swear.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on August 7, 2008 - 5:55pm.
Yeah he thought it was cute... sick, right? Now that week is BJ/HJ week...
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The queef was cute, or being embarrassed was cute? Does you boyfriend like to smell his own farts, bychance?
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on August 7, 2008 - 5:48pm.
I post there intermittently. I used to post there more than I post here, but then a lot of my favorite editors (Balk, Choire) left, and I felt the site went downhill, so I slacked off a bit. It's improving, but the "commentariat" wasn't what it was.
Bradi you superhot slut you! Chichi flash right back at ya!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 7, 2008 - 5:48pm.
hey, Man5
Hohan has a career left?... i didn't notice... well, i guess picking up pap photo-op money is a career for her at this point
finally, something she's good at!
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"She went down to escape from her prison.
To free herself from her fears.
All those years up to here with tradition,
and opportunity so near."
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 7, 2008 - 4:49pm
Yeah he thought it was cute... sick, right? Now that week is BJ/HJ week...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I don't know what's more annoying: the way she answered the profile questions or the yearbook staff who allowed them to be printed that way...
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Hell is full of ten-year-olds who wanted exactly the same thing!
@M5.sup.
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
MONKEYPOX on August 7, 2008 - 5:47pm
*grabs Monkey's ass, smooches her cheek, quick chi chi flash*
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
If Samantha gained about ten pounds and put on some make up she'd be conventionally very beautiful, or at least cute. She has a pleasant face. Dunno about the tattoos, though. I'll bet her interests are rather high-schoolish, though. Still into who-said-what and popularity.
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I love you. No, really.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
i think samro believes she's the mary stuart masterson of 2008...msm played tomboyish characters in "some kind of wonderful" and "fried green tomatoes"...one big difference is that msm still looked like a chick who bathed regularly...can't say the same for samro...
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
Crimson Tide overshare moment:
college days
the HOtel
The sex
the massive overflow
the concierge
the denial
the classic fuck & flee
it looked like a death scene occurred on the bed!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on August 7, 2008 - 5:47pm.
No he shook me awake and was fuming... Here's another overshare story: Once, we were doing it while I was riding the crimson tide, and he pulled out to switch up and I queefed sooooo loudly and longly, he started laughing.... I was of course horrified and actually started crying. Since then we refrain from period sex. That concludes my gross stories for the day...
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Longly? Tee hee heeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love it when they're deep like tubas, and both people just sort of sit there for a minute...
Don't men know not to laugh at queefs? GDI! Do WE laugh when they blow a load and it smells like fucking nachos? NO!
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 7, 2008 - 5:37pm.
hey, Thorn... yep, she tried singing, acting, slutting, dui-ing, drugging, rehabing... what's next?... let's hope obscurity
Hi Thornhill and ESE
I think Hohan is desperately trying to save what little career she has left.
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Hey Mike! Hey are you on gawker as a commenter per chance? I may have seen you possibly... I swear I'm not stalking you!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I see she was all hunched over even in high school. Why in the name of fuck is she always hunched over?? I so wanna put my foot between her shoulder blades, grab her by the shoulders and just fucking.....YANK!! That oughta straighten her out.