This Is Fake, Right?
A little blog has popped up on the internets, and it's supposedly the work of Vadge's beloved brother, Christopher Ciccone. Some whores think it could be real, I personally think it's about as fake as Vadge's chicken cutlets. According to the blog's description, Christopher started it so that he could tell stories about Vadge that were not allowed in the book due to legal shit.
The stories range from Vadge spitting in her stepmother's chocolate milk to her going caca times in one of her tour costumes. None of those stories compare to the one about their sort-of threesome.
In 1983, Vadge was rehearsing a song for Vision Quest in her NYC apartment and naturally, the bitch sounded awful. "Michael" claims that Vadge became frustrated that she couldn't sing right, so she called some dude named Johnny. When Johnny arrived, Vadge told Christopher he had to leave, but Johnny told him to stay.
When Madonna informs Johnny that I’m her brother, he answers, “You guys don’t have to touch each other.” Johnny then proceeds to take off his pants and then his underwear. After our eyes glue to Johnny’s huge snake, Madonna and I look at each other in amazement. I immediately rush over to it as my mouth waters.“Sorry,” Madonna says and pushes me away. She then gulps Johnny’s snake like it’s some type of watermelon. Johnny sits down on a chair and I feel a little bit left out until he informs me to take off my clothes. I feel uncomfortable getting naked in front of my sister, but Madonna is so preoccupied that she barely notices.
“Come here!” Johnny says and I walk towards him. Johnny then proceeds to suck my snake like it’s a watermelon and both of us are moaning in harmony. At least it’s more harmonious than Madonna’s singing throughout the day. Suddenly, Johnny’s moans become louder until I can hear Madonna make gulping noises. Johnny doesn’t swallow, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me. Right after Johnny leaves, Madonna proceeds to sing and she sounds wonderful.
I usually believe everything I read because I have gummi worms for brains, but come on! Wouldn't he put that shit in the book?! And no amount of cum will ever make that bitch's singing voice sound "wonderful." She could swallow a sperm bank and she would still sound like shit!
The blog is most likely fraudulent, but it still makes for some good reading. I'll choose to believe! Click here to read that shit.
And who sucks dick like it's a watermelon? He's probably thinking of that scene in Julie Brown's Vadge-spoof "Medusa: Dare to be Truthful." Seriously, that movie is fucking amazing. Below is the clip of "Medusa" swallowing a watermelon.
VIA Mollygood
Thanks Carolina
Ok, so Kathy Griffin...totally looks less plain in her old age. LOVIN IT!
Bitches is dumb!
Gucci-
Oh no. I think her PR wants her to look like she's still in control and makes it seem like she is behind it. Madonna cannot stand not looking in control.
I saw Julie Brown on The Dog Whisperer yesterday, lol. And holy shit, Kathy Griffin's real face!
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
That doesn't even sound like the writing in the book. He barely explores Madonna's relationships or anything sexual for that matter. It must be fake.
The book wasn't that great by the way. It wasn't even really revealing.
Although now I really cannot stand Madonna, the woman is a c-nt.
The blog was removed. lmao!
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"I'd rather be feared than loved because at least fear warns you but love? -Love blinds you before you have a chance to even see it coming."
Ha this is the best Gay TV Novella ever. If Madonna was this interesting I'd still be a fan!
I came into this world to live out-loud
Yeah i totaly believe madonna paid her brother heavily to write a book about her. its totaly apart of marketing her new album.
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"When it comes to men, don't pay attention to word they say, but pay attention to absolutely everything they do".
Professor Randy Paush
Kathy Griffin before she turned herself into a tranny! I always wondered what she really looked like.
One of my favorite movies. They need to get that shit on DVD.
oh my God, Julie Brown had me in tears! Thanks for this on a slow Friday morning!!
I love a young Kathy Griffin kissing that cute gay guy. Clearly, Kathy has jumped the shark as far as her looks are concerned. LOL.
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
WTF? I hope these stories are lies. That one about her shitting herself and foaming at the mouth with Nikki Harris is too bizarre. In fact, they all are and they all sound like a child toucher wrote them. He relishes the perverse in each story.
what? get the fuck out of here....
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If there's a cure for this, I don't want it- don't want it; if there's a remedy, I'll run from it- from it; think about it all the time, never let it out of my mind, cause I love you....
lol@ gummi worms for brains. Sign me up for that title too because I'm going to click that fucking link now and probably regret it.
He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on ~that site.
I loved Julie Brown: "Everybody run. The homecoming queen's got a gun." Ah, the good old days.
That blog is shenannigans. If he couldn't print it, he couldn't electronically reproduce it either.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Oo, but what if it's real and he just did some things to make people think it's fake so he could get away with it!
In court: "Please. If I wrote that, don't you think I'd get the title of my book right??"
I always said "A family that f*cks together, stays together!". Well, they'd have to with that family secret!
LOL at the secret Christopher Ciccone Blog. I've heard and read stories like that from people who knew Madonna in the past, so I believe it. Remember, it's Madonna and she seems like she'd do anything for attention. Bad publicity is still publicity. :P
Ummm, now that I think about it, she did do a pretty good job on that song! (Crazy For You).
zzzz ...Give it up, Vadge, you old cockroach. Viral marketing is not your forté.
That Julie Brown as Madonna movie was classic, well worth a rental. "I'm so happy to be here in the Pah....Pal-oh....Pal-hill-i-pheens!", as a volcano erupts behind her while she's performing.
I don't belive this story. Michael would have sold more books if this story was included.
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Here you go, MK - this is how you know it's a lie:
"Madonna proceeds to sing and she sounds wonderful."
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Totally fake and EWWWWWWWWWW. Who has time to make up this shit?
Hi Squash Posh! Poor lil wet kitty in your av *hands it a cup of cocoa*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
I vote fake too. He got the name of the book and the album mixed up, repeatedly.
But I agree she could have done all of the above, lol.
Written by a VERY creative queen. But not Chris. You know how they are.
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Help me!
K well someone mentioned reading the blog comments attatched to this fu*kery and I'm pretty sure that was 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back...what a bunch of freaks...Seriously, freaking loooooooniiessss!!!!
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
that's really gross. anywais now that story left my brain blank. all i can say is that I will use the word "snake" instead of penis. thank you very much for that.
Uh, this sounds like something a teenager would write...not a grown man...no matter how fucked up he is. It has a air of immaturity. So I'm going with 'fake'. Plus, this is too weird, even for Madonna.
Wow, what a lovely morning story to read.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
OMG, it's Kathy Griffin in the Medusa clip!!!
I'm assuming Johnny was ingesting a lot of peppermint, slippery elm, and green tea to create such a healing throat gargle for Madonna.
Why would he post a story about having that close of almost sexy times by his sister..*shuders* Yuck! I mean, his pecker was practically in his sisters mouth. For all he knew, Johnny changed out peckers w/ mouths, well ya know what i mean.. lol *blushes*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by Sheeps on August 8, 2008 - 9:07am.
Fake. If it was too hot for the book, it's too hot for the Net. He'd get sued just the same.
Exactly.
You would think if Madonna saw her brother walking over by her naked she would be like "bitch, you better find your own watermelon dick", and give him the 'back-the-funk-off' eye.
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When all else fails, Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It!
This is the nastiest shiot I've read in awhile...kind of made me throw up a little.
*gags,spits,gags,spits...holds head down in disgust*
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
I would think that Chris would know the title of the her book. He called it Erotica twice. Obviously fake shit but anything poking fun at Madonna is A OK with me.
Oh man. Read the comments from the Madonnaloonies. They're HIGHlarious!
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Hi5.
Fake. If it was too hot for the book, it's too hot for the Net. He'd get sued just the same.
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Esa canción está bien choteada.
From the Golden Retriever entry...
"Suddenly, we hear "Ooooooooooh he's so cute!" Madonna, not naked yet, runs up to him. But Micky (a golden retriever) instantly senses her fakeness and viciously throws her to the ground, tearing her sweatshirt and biting into her arm. Madonna is shocked. She lays down silently and says, "I never heard of a golden retriever biting anybody." The owner apologizes and indicates that Micky, in his six years, has never bit anyone. Madonna is taken to the hospital while Micky is whisked away from the set. The next day, a mutt replaces Micky."
HA HAHAHAHAHA. I hope to god this is real. Madonna is f'ed for real!
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EAT SHIT AND LIVE!
Ahahaha you guys! I love you all... but OBVIOUSLY it's just a joke by someone. Hilarious, but not really Chris Ciccone. Although it is funny that Madonna is such a stupid skankbag that the stories are definitely within the realm of believability.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlnyJr-QYoc
Here's more of that Julie Brown thing.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Ew. I just had a visual of that disaster(if it's true). That's kinda gross all that dick sucking in front of siblings
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"But let's be real, if you can't look at dicks at work, then it's time to look for a new job"
MK on the SamRo's a Filthy bitch thread" 7.31.08
LOLOLOL I can't stop laughing at that clip!!!
OMG you always know where to find the best $h1t on youtube!!!!
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So what she can't sing or dance, & isn't original so big deal! At least she's the best in the business - typical fan response
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_RCiROaXvTU
Now my mouth is watering! *huge snake* lol.
Fake. Totally fake.
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"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
Good morning sluts!!!
So I had a dream about SamRo last night. We were having sexy times. I know. Sick. But I think after that dream, I have a girl crush on her.
OT: That watermelon slurpee story is WAAAAY too good to be true
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"But let's be real, if you can't look at dicks at work, then it's time to look for a new job"
MK on the SamRo's a Filthy bitch thread" 7.31.08
LMAO @ the clip..."Made me a star!"
I love that Kathy Griffin is in this shit from her It's Pat days! That movie is a lost comedic gem.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
real story? fake story?... geezus, you could tell me that Madonna put a claw hammer up her ass and i still wouldn't care
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"She went down to escape from her prison.
To free herself from her fears.
All those years up to here with tradition,
and opportunity so near."
That clip if funny, particularly the pre-plastic surgeried Kathy Griffin.