What's Wrong With Just Using Your Hand?
Some bitches will seriously fuck anything. This dude is one of them. A 41-year-old man was hanging out in Hong Kong's LanTian Park in the middle of the night when he got the urge to get sexy with a steel bench. I don't know why? That bench is tore up. It's used and abused. I could see if it was a sexy bench.
Anyway, the dude stuck his little peen into one of the bench's hole and started hitting it from the back. I hope he at least kissed the bench. Romanced it a little. As he started getting into that shit, his little peen started to grow, and well, it got stuck. Damn! That bench has a tight coochie for being such a dirty slut.
He started freaking out, so he used his cell to call the police. After the police arrived and probably shit themselves from laughing so hard, doctors showed up to try and get his dick out. They couldn't, so they cut the bench free and they all went back to the hospital for COCKtails. 4 hours later, the doctors were able to get his dick out. They said if it would have been stuck for an hour longer, they would've had to pull a Lorena Bobbitt on that shit.
I don't know what's more embarrassing. The fact that this dude did fuckey fuckey times with a bench, or the fact that his dick was able to fit in one of those little holes. Dude needs to call it a day. And that bench needs to stop being such a skank!
Thanks Lolo
WHAT THE DEUCE????
LOLZ,
I know where the poor Bench is now, I'm gonna steal it, keep it safe for a while so noone else can sexual harass it.
And I am going to sell it on EBAY. Man, I'll be rich for real.
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... Software is like sex, better when it's free .. ^^ lolz
Wonder if he has sexy times with swiss cheese...
He's just a bench player :)
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
He must love the Gardening chair collection Section at Home Depot.
Are some men so horny that they have to simulate sex with benches, tools, etc?!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
They forgot to mention that he knocked a tooth out during foreplay.
This is unbelievably funny....I wonder if what they would do if a guy got is peen stuck in a cooch...
( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )
Everyone around me says my time is running out!
HAH! I just noticed his big toes are through the holes, too!
Poor tiny-wienered idiot.
Kiss,
Fifi
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..."
Benches, picnic tables,the Berlin Wall, what else???LOL
oh well wheres that sexay spatula?? ;>
=_=
They should have cut his peen off so fuckers like this can't reproduce. And he should have been arrested for indecency.
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Submitted by Captain Who-Who on August 9, 2008 - 8:25am.
What they should've done was "finish" him off.
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O my goodness...you just reminded me of that movie..what was it? O yeah! Strange Wilderness...he got his dick stuck in a turkey's throat (he wasn't TRYING to do that!) and so they thought it would be a good idea to massage the turkey's throat the loosen it. Haha!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:08am.
TEAM BENCH!
Talk about blaming the victim here.
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No way! That bench is a rapist! He didn't WANT to have sex with the bench. The bench MADE him do it! And then it wouldn't let go - not even when the medics arrived!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
You make reading THAT much better... LOL
Oh for God's sake! Is this something I have to add to the sex-ed talks I have with my sons? * Now remember boys don't be sticking your wee-wees in park bench holes* I've already warned them about picnic tables and bicycles. Why can't men just stick it in women like in the old days?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRcnaz3qI3o&feature=related
But did he still respect the bench in the morning?
Submitted by Grace Disful on August 9, 2008 - 9:24am.
Yeah, we don't need any more sons of benches running around in this world!
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Ha ha ha!!!
I think we have found our potential winner for Hot Slut of the Month!
I am definitely voting for that bench!
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 9, 2008 - 10:26am.
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:43am
Do you think the Kira picture is real? Way NNAAASSTTY. Oh, for the topic Nazis: They guy fucked a bench. Gross.
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LOL, I didn't think the pic was real...but I did have to mentally evaluate if it was possible it was real-ish. LOL, that bitch needs to eat some bbq chicken or something at any rate.
LOL @ the poster who wrote "sons of benches" hahahaha!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
We are reading a lot of fake news these days. Did you remember the news about Britney's pregnancy, Lindsay's joining on the famous rich men seeking affairs """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""? Is this news true or not? who knows...
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:43am
Do you think the Kira picture is real? Way NNAAASSTTY. Oh, for the topic Nazis: They guy fucked a bench. Gross.
Submitted by Green Is Good on August 9, 2008 - 9:18am.
Yeah, we don't need any more sons of benches running around in this world!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Hope he wore a rubber!
after all this is said and done, will the bench be asked on a second date...
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
His next victim will be a mailbox.
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
i'm sad about bernie mac....:(
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
Bernie mac is dead, fuck shit piss.
Paris will live forever.
The bench must be thinking ''I wonder if he will call back''?
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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.
Submitted by . on August 9, 2008 - 1:29pm.
First off, LOVE the Sephiroth avie, it kicks ass! And I guess he didn't have money for a hooker to do sexy times with, I would love to see what this dude looks like, that he can score with a park bench instead of a real female.
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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:48am.
Not for too long, that pic is back, oh well. I will just try not to look at it. LOL
I am really sad about Bernie Mac
I am also sad about the bench, that through no fault of its own will now be replaced by another bench -- damaged goods. ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Bernie Mac died! Jesus, he was only 50. This is too sad.
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TimTams Rule!
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:48am.
Submitted by vanyvrgs on August 9, 2008 - 9:45am.
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:43am.
Looks like the pic was just replaced by Captain Who who's avie. LOL.
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Phew! I don't know who's thinking of the benches, but I'm glad someone's thinking about our eyeballs. That shit was unnecessary! LOL
The worst part is, I actually thought for a good second or few if that was really her...because she's so gaunt and needs someone to sit her on a bench and hand her a turkey sandwich.
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I'm bored today, my pic will probably change another 20 times by tonight LOL
==Bad Vodka! BAD! You're not my friend anymore, I God to swear...==
Submitted by vanyvrgs on August 9, 2008 - 9:45am.
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:43am.
Looks like the pic was just replaced by Captain Who who's avie. LOL.
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Phew! I don't know who's thinking of the benches, but I'm glad someone's thinking about our eyeballs. That shit was unnecessary! LOL
The worst part is, I actually thought for a good second or few if that was really her...because she's so gaunt and needs someone to sit her on a bench and hand her a turkey sandwich.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Submitted by Pers on August 9, 2008 - 9:43am.
Looks like the pic was just replaced by Captain Who who's avie. LOL.
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
- that Keira Knightley photo was gross. I hope it's gone.
- I'm really going to miss Bernie Mac... RIP Bernie, the world is much less funny without you here.
- Will someone please think of the BENCHES?!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Submitted by FrappBloat on August 9, 2008 - 9:33am.
who is bernie mac? And why is everyone flooding this fab thread with it??
dismal.
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He's a comic and an actor...nominated for a couple Emmy's and features in numerous comedy shows.
==Bad Vodka! BAD! You're not my friend anymore, I God to swear...==
Submitted by FrappBloat on August 9, 2008 - 9:33am.
Bernie Mac had starring roles in “Ocean’s Eleven,” “Bad Santa,” “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” and “Transformers.” and a show on Fox. He also did a lot of standup comedy. RIP again.
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Carlin and Bernie Mac in the same year. Who will be next??
How come I don't see an offensive picture of Kiera Knightly anywhere? Are you guys talking about the photo above? Because that's a bench, not Kiera. That guy found out the hard way.
who is bernie mac? And why is everyone flooding this fab thread with it??
dismal.
ZOMFG! I found some articles about Bernie Mac's death...I guess it's true.
Damn :-(
==Bad Vodka! BAD! You're not my friend anymore, I God to swear...==
Thank you for the link Pers
Submitted by vanyvrgs on August 9, 2008 - 6:25am.
Really sad about Bernie Mac. :(
I emailed MK requesting he take that pic down. It sucks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
Submitted by madam s. on August 9, 2008 - 9:20am.
He died? What? I thought they said he was getting better....
Thanks Pers for the article -- I am sad too. He was funny. RIP
Btw, I cannot stand that damn "pic" of Keira Knightly ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
I wonder if he said, "I'm tired. I think I'll walk over to that bench and take a load off."
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
It will be interesting to see if the "copy cat" trend follows this fuckery. Imagine all the bench fuckers who will come out of the wood work...
Article about Bernie Mac's passing.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/1099622,xmac080908.article
I'm really bummed now. :( How sad!
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"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Did you guys hear about Bernie Mac? Damn. He was only 50. Pneumonia is pretty scary.
Morning all.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 9, 2008 - 12:03am.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 9, 2008 - 12:00am.
Can you imagine how this guy's parents feel?
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I'm still trying to imagine how the park bench felt.
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LOL you are funny TV ;)
ahhhh I am glad that I get to learn new thing everyday in Dlisted, man fucking cars, woman make love to berlin wall, man stuffed a chicken with his peen...and now this..
TEAM BENCH!
Talk about blaming the victim here. That bench was just minding its own business. Just hanging out and being the best bench it can be. And look what happens! Some loser with a mini-peen tries to do fucky-fucky times with you, and you end up getting sent to the hospital.
I bet that bench had much better things to do than end up in the hospital! Poor bench!
TEAM BENCH! BOO Micro-peen guy!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés