What's Wrong With Just Using Your Hand?
Some bitches will seriously fuck anything. This dude is one of them. A 41-year-old man was hanging out in Hong Kong's LanTian Park in the middle of the night when he got the urge to get sexy with a steel bench. I don't know why? That bench is tore up. It's used and abused. I could see if it was a sexy bench.
Anyway, the dude stuck his little peen into one of the bench's hole and started hitting it from the back. I hope he at least kissed the bench. Romanced it a little. As he started getting into that shit, his little peen started to grow, and well, it got stuck. Damn! That bench has a tight coochie for being such a dirty slut.
He started freaking out, so he used his cell to call the police. After the police arrived and probably shit themselves from laughing so hard, doctors showed up to try and get his dick out. They couldn't, so they cut the bench free and they all went back to the hospital for COCKtails. 4 hours later, the doctors were able to get his dick out. They said if it would have been stuck for an hour longer, they would've had to pull a Lorena Bobbitt on that shit.
I don't know what's more embarrassing. The fact that this dude did fuckey fuckey times with a bench, or the fact that his dick was able to fit in one of those little holes. Dude needs to call it a day. And that bench needs to stop being such a skank!
Thanks Lolo
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Another one to add to the chronicals of men who will fuck anything.
makes me proud to be a woman. at least the men who try to fuck me are halfway to normal.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by Mr. President on August 8, 2008 - 10:00pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 8, 2008 - 9:56pm.
Is that red cape he's wearing?
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Yeah, maybe he has a superhero fetish. I'm starting to think this dude is a little weird.
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I'm only a MAAN in a phony red SHEEEEET!!...FUCK, now I'll have Chris Martin's nasally pipes stuck in my head forever.
i think the bench released the photo... pfft, fame whoring bitch
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"So don’t worry about tomorrow.
Take it today.
Forget about the cheque.
We’ll get hell to pay."
OMG! You're right MK. That bench isn't sexy at all. WTF??
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Sara M.
They should Bukake him, even though they're not Japanese. Just on principle. Is this an Olympic event?
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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Is this what they're talking about on those Viagra commercials...
"in the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury."
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 8, 2008 - 9:56pm.
Is that red cape he's wearing?
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Yeah, maybe he has a superhero fetish. I'm starting to think this dude is a little weird.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 8, 2008 - 9:56pm.
but, but... there's no t.p. for his bunghole?!
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"So don’t worry about tomorrow.
Take it today.
Forget about the cheque.
We’ll get hell to pay."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 8, 2008 - 9:55pm.
No, the photogs come to you.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I bet when he was done, one of those blue poles was going up his ass.
Is that red cape he's wearing? Maybe he thought he was cornholio just doing his thing.
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Submitted by Mr. President on August 8, 2008 - 9:49pm.
And the bench has fewer diseases, too.
and the bench won't drag you out for photo ops!
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"So don’t worry about tomorrow.
Take it today.
Forget about the cheque.
We’ll get hell to pay."
pffft as if we needed more proof that men will stick it in any available hole.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by NotsoAnonymous on August 8, 2008 - 9:48pm.
This guy should get together with the guy in Indiana with the claw hammer...
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For a few bucks, E-Harmony could have hooked these two up and all would be well with the world, oh well, cheap bastards.
dying laughing.
And the bench has fewer diseases, too.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
This guy should get together with the guy in Indiana with the claw hammer...
Submitted by Mr. President on August 8, 2008 - 9:47pm.
and yet, the bench just lays there... just like Paris
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"So don’t worry about tomorrow.
Take it today.
Forget about the cheque.
We’ll get hell to pay."
You know Paris is jealous. She only has three orifices while this bench has dozens.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I am sorry to hear this.He is my favorite . I heard this news earlier at """""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" where celebrities and rich people are talking about this at forum of that site
And I thought i had a problem when my dick got caught in my pants zipper. Ok, I was a kid and Mom had to help but....anyway.
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Submitted by Devans00 on August 8, 2008 - 8:55pm.
What was the bench wearing? I bet it was a mini skirt and heels. It was soooooooooooo asking for it.
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Well, that hole-pattern looks a lot like Sienna Miller's metal-studded belt. Bet it was skinny jeans this stank steal homewrecka park tool tossed off at the sight of wiener...THAT CUNTSLUTHOMEWRECKERMANSTEALER!!!!
Submitted by Robertoooo on August 8, 2008 - 8:56pm.
You can't be a slut. You're ugly people.
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Man Coulter, is that you?
Glad you're typing your original man name -- loud and proud, WERK!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on August 8, 2008 - 6:09pm.
Sorry I missed your post. I'm still "working."
This was long before cell phones. On the upside, it was long before chainsaws, too. They had to perform a rather complicated and therefore risky benchectomy using only obsedian knives with mata leaves as anesthetic. I've still got scars and can post some pix if you're interested.
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Esa canción está bien choteada.
ROFLMAO!!!
Loric needs to call God to be with this dumbass.
LuckyCharms -- Perez now requires everyone to register to leave comments. And not many people want to register with the Queen of All Idiots.
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"Everyone turned rather nasty at this point, especially when Chick suggested that Terri might like to fuck off to Forfar and do something illegal with a ferret."
Submitted by luckycharms on August 8, 2008 - 9:35pm.
Completely Off Topic: I don't know if I dare venture into this territory, but what the hell happened to Perez Hilton's blog. I went there for the first time in 2 weeks and there are almost no posts. Have people finally stopped frequenting this asshole? Very, very mysterious.
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Perchance he's at a Hong Kong hospital nursing a raw fatboy wiener?
Submitted by luckycharms on August 8, 2008 - 9:35pm.
Have people finally stopped frequenting this asshole? Very, very mysterious.
one can only hope... the guy's useless
OT: you know who you're dealing with.. not gonna happen right now
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"So don’t worry about tomorrow.
Take it today.
Forget about the cheque.
We’ll get hell to pay."
K-Y jelly, anyone?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by angel_i on August 8, 2008 - 9:23pm.
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Hi! Angel! *little sock monkey hug & smooch* Yeah, me got mad! The BF and I are surrounding by a beautiful circle of friends. We're like a bag of skittles..all cultures, all lifestyles. We love each one deeply. Too bad so many people miss those experiences in their lives. They teach you so much about yourself if you think about it. We lost a very close friend to a severe strain of the flu this last year and that just made our circle tighter and more appreciative of the gift of friendship. Life is wonderful...if you live it.
ON T: I wonder if he used the "Goldilocks" approach and tried each hole till he found the one that was "juuuust riiight"...hmmmm?
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Is the park bench over 18? There could be charges.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
"And that bench needs to stop being such a skank!"
hahaha! And that's why this is the first site I check every day!
I'm so disgusted by this freak I don't know what to say
Submitted by angel_i on August 8, 2008 - 6:29pm.
There. I fixed your typo:)
hahahaha. More of a bad-reporter's omission than an actual typo.
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Esa canción está bien choteada.
Completely Off Topic: I don't know if I dare venture into this territory, but what the hell happened to Perez Hilton's blog. I went there for the first time in 2 weeks and there are almost no posts. Have people finally stopped frequenting this asshole? Very, very mysterious.
Him is so handsome. Is are true he have profile for sexy peoples ~*~richfuckysuckybench.com~*~ ???
Want to very know long time?
That's what you get for forgetting the lube.
ps: Congrats on the caption this, Deb.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Finally, man has found the one park bench coochie that has no qualms about returning a good fuck over...
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"Sometimes when we focus too much on who will lead our country, we lose sight of the important things, like celebrity babies."
~Keith Olbermann
Is he married?
Cause if he is, that there skanky bench is HOMEWRECKERRRRRRRR!!!!
Submitted by bennettk on August 8, 2008 - 9:27pm.
where celebrities, bench fuckers and rich people are talking about this at forum of that site
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There. I fixed your typo:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
I am sorry to hear this.He is my favorite . I heard this news earlier at """""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" where celebrities and rich people are talking about this at forum of that site
Submitted by Newportjoey on August 8, 2008 - 9:13pm.
Do any of you Dlistedsluts know WHY they are wearing face masks? Embarassed Med Techs??
Standard Modus Operandi over here for med staff.
I need to get a shot of this cut up bench today and find out who it was because this is TOO funny. Typical sexual repression in HK at it's finest!!
--thanks awfully--
@Socky:
Danger! Danger!
Sweet little Sock-Monkey - I hate it when people make you mad. Robertooo has been on for a little while now making crazy ass racist statements. I am of the opinion that whatever JJer came here last time and tried to call us racist took it back to the clan and told them what we said about jumping on racists. Which either inspired some other stupid JJer to come over here and spout racism OR the same one came back under a new guise.
They're sad cuz we didn't go visit them when the twins were unveiled. That's what I know;P
Really - tho - it's been trying to incite violence for a bit. Reported, yet again.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
I thought it was an old wives' tale that you could get an STD from a park bench.
Sick!
Doing "it" with a park bench.
How disgusting!
But... those blue posts in the foreground... look kinda appealing.
Submitted by Robertoooo on August 8, 2008 - 9:08pm.
Because i point out the obvious fact that black bitches are ugly? That isn't racist it shows observational skills. I am beautiful on the inside!! You don't know me! You don't know wherez iz been!
Robertoooo
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You could have been to the center of the earth and back for all I care...I don't care. You're still ugly on the inside, so don't try and rationalize your hateful spewing. And by the by, NO ONE wants to "know" you. No one.
I'm through with you. *dismissive gesture*
REPORTED!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Hello sluts.
Bwahaha, what happened with going to a park and finding yourself a nice two legged or four legged creature to have sexy times with behind the bushes? How times have changed.....
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by Newportjoey on August 8, 2008 - 9:13pm.
Do any of you Dlistedsluts know WHY they are wearing face masks? Embarassed Med Techs??
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They don't wanna get no spermies or blood in their mouths...?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Do any of you Dlistedsluts know WHY they are wearing face masks? Embarassed Med Techs??
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Submitted by Robertoooo on August 8, 2008 - 8:56pm.
You can't be a slut. You're ugly people.
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What do you mean. These D-Listed sluts are some of the nicest people I have met. And I am one of the most docile, gentle people you will ever know. But sneak up behind me with a sledge hammer, and that's a whole different story.