MiserAlba, Give Us A Smile!
Naw, I'm lying. I don't want a smile from MiserAlba. I like it when she's her true self: grouchy, angry and miserable!
She looks like she's holding a fart in. Shit, she's probably been holding in a fart for years. That shit will turn you black inside.
MiserAlba is probably one of those types that when she gets mad, she doesn't flip out at you, she let's the anger stew and gives you the silent treatment for a few days. When you ask her, "What's wrong?" She rolls her eyes, snaps her tongue off her teeth and gives a "Pfff!" She continues to walk around the house, slamming doors and huffing every time she sees your ass.
Here's MiserAlba with Baby Honor leaving some medical joint yesterday. What in mummy hell is on her feet? It looks like it takes a lot of work to put on those fugly things. And that security dude didn't open up the door for her! He's going to get a little slip with his next check that says, "You're fired! I hate you! Love, MiserAlba".



Long time reader, first time commenter...
My laziness usually gets in the way of showing my utter satisfaction when reading D listed, but in this lovely Alba post, I feel I must praise the mind that can make me LOL at the office, on the daily.
Dear Dlisted,
You do not cease to amaze me.
I've got a total crush.
*blushes*.
She always looks like such a miserable bitch. Like her attitude is so bad it makes her look more unattractive than she already is.
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on August 10, 2008 - 12:01am.
AMEN! She's so ungreatful!
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Just don't feed the gayelles! They eat enough of each other.---MK 8/5/2008
Don't you know Michael Weatherly is just laughing his ass off for not marrying this sourpuss.
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TimTams Rule!
Oh, and WTF is she sulking around for?
She should be bouncing off the fucking walls with all the money she has for doing essentially nothing but waltzing around half nude.
So whose cock did you have to suck for that contract, sweetheart?
lizardo, see my reply to you in the Katie Holmes thread...no sense saying it twice.
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"Kids are nasty, dirty, disease-carrying midgets" who are "too sassy, too grown and talk back too much"
- Bernie Mac
when are we going to get a gander at alba's brown baby?
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
I guess something else happened between Lauren and Kitson.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
Sayonara, they are full of shit at Kitson. If that were true, why do they sell Heidi's crap? Or Gwen, Paris, Nicky, any celebs line? They have it all.
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"See you at the debate, bitches!"
– Paris Hilton
I read that Lauren Conrad's line was being dropped by Kitson. They are claiming that it is very difficult for a "celebrity" line to sell in their store. Ummm, when did she become a celebrity?! They showed the merchandise hanging on a rack with either a 50% off or a buy one get one free sign. I thought I would holler!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
I agree Sayonara. The fact that Kardahian, Heidi, LC, Paris etc are all famous is just sickening. Fucking Audrina charges 5,000 for an appearnace at a club- Kim Kardashian- $25,000! What the fuck is that?
I miss the days of talented actors and actresses.
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"See you at the debate, bitches!"
– Paris Hilton
Submitted by ViVee on August 9, 2008 - 1:31pm.
Seriously, PSL? Whatever happened to being famous cuz you're talented not because you look good in a bikini? __________________________________________________
I wish I new, and I wish those days would return. All of these "celebrities" are being written about based on what fancy car they drive, what they wear, how much they spend on a hotel room while vacationing in some exotic location. What happened to the "real" stories?! It is not about talent anymore.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
hi radio!
Jessica just looks like nothing is ever good enough...no one can do right for her......ugh- what a bitchy woman..
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"See you at the debate, bitches!"
– Paris Hilton
You can't really see her toes here, but I've seen pics of her feet before and - my God! - they are retchingly disgusting. If I had feet like that, I'd keep them hidden at all times.
________________________
Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
I received one of my Neiman Marcus catalogs, and they advertised some of the ankle boots with an open toe. Now can someone explain to me what in the world is the purpose of an open toe boot?! LOL
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 9, 2008 - 3:09pm.
lizardo, we all rag on everyone, but there's a viciousness in your posts that makes me think you hate women. I'm not saying you do, but your comments sure make you look that way.
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You're funny! Have you seen me say anything nice about any of the men?? :-)
Hmm... and this coming from parissucksliterally is quite amusing!
OMG, she looks so pretty. I saw her profile on milllionaire&celeb personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is she looking for on that site? Just curious.
Submitted by paris herpes on August 9, 2008 - 5:11pm
You're probably right; wouldn't leather chaff bare feet? Eww, and the sweatiness they would cause...yucko.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
She's also probably miserable because of those fugly sandal thong things on her feet. Whenever I see Hohan wearing them she's all frowny too. Those shoes are really really upsetting them all!
Your face!
lizardo, we all rag on everyone, but there's a viciousness in your posts that makes me think you hate women. I'm not saying you do, but your comments sure make you look that way.
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ready ready ready ready, ready to run
all I'm willing to do is have some fun
what's all this talk about love?
- Dixie Chicks "Ready To Run"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 9, 2008 - 3:05pm.
lizardo911: I don't think I have ever heard you say one nice thing about women.
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I didn't know I was supposed to on this board. Am I?
lizardo911: I don't think I have ever heard you say one nice thing about women.
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ready ready ready ready, ready to run
all I'm willing to do is have some fun
what's all this talk about love?
- Dixie Chicks "Ready To Run"
Man, those shoes/sandals are uglier than anything I have seen in a long time. WTH? Why would she bother even putting those things on. It looks like it would take at least a couple of hours to wrap them all up. Geez... I am distubed by the ugliness of it all. Plus, Alba is all upset because she is fat now. LOL! Maybe she shouldn't have had a baby! LOL! What a dork. And what is she doing in that one full-length picture? It looks like she is trying to keep from pooping or something! ROFL!
did you know miserALBA was in an episode of 90210? i'm going a ton of old vhs tapes and just found it. she gave up her baby and kelly tried to give it back to her. she looked about 12 in it!!!! just a little fyi....
....and that's what's up!!!!
Those awful things on her feet, are they supposed to be shoes? i think i've seen lindz wear them last month. why waste your money on pseudo-sandals?!
Your face!
Why do the paps still follow her? Her career is over. I also never understood how guys thought she was "so hot" I've seen prettier girls at my school.
Submitted by ricki lake on August 9, 2008 - 2:07pm.
Ricki- You wax Shakespearean. Bravo.
This goddamn motherfucking pig slut cunt bitch can eat shit and die. I am so sick of seeing her sour fucking face. I've prayed for the death of MiserAlba many times, each time more earnestly than the last. Why God has forsaken me and continues to let this beast live is beyond all comprehension. This whore contributes nothing to anyone but jack-off fodder for college freshman who don't know any better. Even her Maxim-ready vagina is an uptight bitch. One day, I will finally see her pestilent corpse, strung up on a rack, the verdigris of her sunken flesh riddled with open pustules and wriggling maggots and I will get down on my knees and weep with the joy of a man whose life has finally been fulfilled. Fuck you, Jessica Alba, and all that you stand for. A pox on your vagina, on you, and your house!
Submitted by Sheeps on August 9, 2008 - 1:34pm.
ViVee: How bout this pic?
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LOL, I've never that pic of Jessica, but it was really funny.
@PSL: Jessica does have a great body, but I don't know what it is about her that just irks me.
Nice thong socks on your sandals, frowny!
Weirdness.
Sheeps, I know you like the picture, because you wish you were that hermit crab....hehee
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ready ready ready ready, ready to run
all I'm willing to do is have some fun
what's all this talk about love?
- Dixie Chicks "Ready To Run"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 9, 2008 - 10:41am.
I hate that pic of her- she's picking her ass! There are better ones of her bent over....
I happen to like this one. And she's freeing a trapped hermit crab.
She's a passive agressive chick with ugly shoes.
Her whole "career" revolves around photoshoots for Maxim and FHM, shooting movies that require her to be in a bikini the whole time, and vehemently denying that she uses her body to get ahead in the industry.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Sheeps, I hate that pic of her- she's picking her ass! There are better ones of her bent over....
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ready ready ready ready, ready to run
all I'm willing to do is have some fun
what's all this talk about love?
- Dixie Chicks "Ready To Run"
Cankle Warmers, from the LoHo line of trendy fashions.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 9, 2008 - 1:34pm.
ViVee: How bout this pic?
http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk124/Sheeps101/86491_dad_jessica_082...
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That's hot.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
ViVee: How bout this pic?
http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk124/Sheeps101/86491_dad_jessica_082...
I'm not a guy either, ViVee, but I think she is very, very pretty and has a great body.
Too bad she is a miserable bitch.
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ready ready ready ready, ready to run
all I'm willing to do is have some fun
what's all this talk about love?
- Dixie Chicks "Ready To Run"
Seriously, PSL? Whatever happened to being famous cuz you're talented not because you look good in a bikini? There were always attractive women in movies, but they knew how to act and still be pretty. I don't think she's hot, but then again I'm not a guy.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 9, 2008 - 1:18pm.
They're Roman sandals. She's being historically accurate.
http://www.roman-empire.net/society/soc-dress.html
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Well, that's cool but then what's the point of progress? ;P They do, totally, look like something early man would put together with the resources at hand.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
ViVee, she is famous because she's hot. Having a baby was a mistake as far as her career goes....
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I know what you're doin; I know where you've been
I know where, but I don't care;
'Cause there's a no such thing as an Original Sin
-Elvis Costello "I'm Not Angry"
Oh look, Chupacabra is her new stylist.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
They're Roman sandals. She's being historically accurate.
http://www.roman-empire.net/society/soc-dress.html
LMAO at mummy hell
Give the woman a break - her baby came out white. Of COURSE she's devastated. God.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 9, 2008 - 12:54pm.
those shoes are an abortion!
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Well, I HAD to see what that was all about.
My goodness! I couldn't even be bothered putting them on if they looked good!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
I will never understand why this bitch is famous, her acting sucks and just about every movie she's in bombs.
I´m not a fan of hers but I can´t hate on her because she doesn´t smile for the papparazzi, why the hell should she?
those shoes are an abortion! my God is that the best she can do?
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"