Brace Yourselves! Eva Is Trying To Have A Baby!
File this under: Can't she just buy a baby mouse instead? "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry opened his butterball mouth to UsWeekly and said that Eva LongWHORIA is trying to have a baby. Alert the fucking world! You know she made him announce that.
He said that Eva and Tony are "desperately trying to get pregnant." I love how he threw the name of his show in there. Marc went on to say, "After they phone their doctor, she promised me I will be the next call." Negative. The first call will be to their PR sluts to begin the baby whoring.
You better believe that if she's pregnant, she's going to sell everything. EVERYTHING. She's going to sell the baby announcement, the ultrasound pictures, her placenta, the umbilical cord and limited-edition jars of her amniotic fluid. Shit, if the price is right, she'll even sell her baby! She'll also talk about it day and night. Eva will even launch the Eva Baby Watch Channel. 24-hours of Eva LongWHORIA baby news! Barf.
Here's Eva on the set of DH looking like she just got off the graveyard-shift from her job at Howard Johnson's. There's a little nip action in some of the pics, just so you know. I pity the poor child who has to suck on those selfish things. Yes, Eva has selfish nipples. You can tell.
As soon as I saw the short locks, I knew it. I feel sorry for any kid born to a celebrity. Another douche bag with a stupid name will be among us...or wait, it'll be twins!
that hair! bleh!
Nice of her to rock the triangle lady-from-Dilbert hair two days in a row.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on August 14, 2008 - 12:47am.
Thank the morons at Maxim for any coverage this ho ever got.
Like I said, a lot of shallow, heterosexual boring guys will give anything attention if it's thin and doesn't wear clothes.
----------------------
Maxim is run by 15-year-old boys disguised as 21 to 45-year-old men who wouldn't know the true definition of sexy if it walked up to them and hit them with a garter belt. It's like a kindergarten class for boys that don't mind fucking trees and other various holes.
*******************************************************
Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
she is Fievel from An American Tail, just not nearly as cute & Fievel is sexier...i am betting she is already pregnant...these days no one in hollywood has to TRY very hard for a baby.
I get a kick out of these folks who are married five minutes and immediately want to screw it up by spawning.
How the fuck does this happen?
"We're totally happy, fuck all the time, have all kinds of fun and never fight because we're practically still newlyweds. I know! Let's screw it all up by having a kid!"
Is she desperate to join the million dollar baby picture crowd? Or is she just looking to add the "hot" accessory to her life?
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Surfing the apocalypse.
She looks beautiful and sexy. I saw her profile on milllionaire&celeb personals site """"C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on August 13, 2008 - 10:47pm.
Like I said, a lot of shallow, heterosexual boring guys will give anything attention if it's thin and doesn't wear clothes.
________________________________
Truer words never spoken.
I just want you to know that I love love love Dlisted. You are so f'n funny. I always crack up. Except for that nasty elbow/walnut guy below. that's some really f'd up shit. thanks for the laughs dude.
Thank the morons at Maxim for any coverage this ho ever got.
Like I said, a lot of shallow, heterosexual boring guys will give anything attention if it's thin and doesn't wear clothes.
<3 That ain't ranch dressing on your salad...
How the H did this so-average looking twat manage to get more than her 15 minutes of air time? Makes me think some higher power - scratch that - lower power is effing with us to the point of breaking our collective sanity.
Submitted by thlayly5 on August 14, 2008 - 1:32am.
***********************************************
Nope
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
anyone around?
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 1:17am.
I'm trying to corner the vodka market. He'll be around.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
You know this neurotic little twit is going to have every ounce of baby weight sucked out the second after the baby's born.
<3 That ain't ranch dressing on your salad...
Great to see you too, TV. Hopefully ESE will join us again some time soon.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Nite, Mr. Pres
Great to see you!
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 1:13am.
Team Valtrex is mine. Originality is not my forte'
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Anyho, hopefully boring Eva has cured me of my insomnia, so I'll wish you all a good night and see you all later. Bye.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mr. Bush is my user name on Drunken Stepfather.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mr. Bush should be your porn name. Mine is Mr. Ihaveaheadache.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 14, 2008 - 1:05am.
Mine would be Mr. President Bush. Top that cuntgravy.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Good night, TV!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Nite Frito!
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
PSL, I don't even think these douchetards could figure out how to play Tic Tac Toe.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:59am.
Dick Acne? I'm totally stealing that for an alt with which to fuck with people. Hi, Cunt Gravy!!
Nite, Frito dear, great as ever to see you!
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
TV; Yeah, that would be pretty bad. Almost as bad as WTF.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Paris Latsis, Stavros, Travis Barker, Joe Francis, Model Dude from Sweden....you don't think they played Scrabble, or Chess?
************************************************
Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Well, guys, I'm out. I'm going to read my book before I fall asleep.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:55am.
BTW, how embarrassing would it be to have STD monogrammed towels and shirts? I'm stuck with PMS myself, but damn!
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
PSL, the stupid manho types who have sex with her probably think the Herpes sores are just "dick acne".
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mr President, remember all the guys she has fucked are manwhores too, and they spread her gift even more- Valtrex stock will be just fine....lol
************************************************
Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Any guy who is stupid enough to have sex with Paris probably can't even spell STD.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:52am.
It's the only way to make nailing Paris seem like a challenge.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
I guess some guys like having to pick off her scabs "down there" before having sex. Kind of like removing the shell before eating a lobster.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:48am.
If Paris ever has kids, the embiotic fluid will be tartar sauce.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Mr. President on August 13, 2008 - 10:48pm.
=-=-=-=-=-=
Or better yet no closets...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
If Paris ever has kids, they're going to have to childproof the home by poking air holes in all the closet doors.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:44am.
Worse yet, I'll have to think of a new username. I'm leaning towards Tim Valtrex.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 10:39pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 12:37am.
That was Benji the dog, and he was later found dead in her closet.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 10:39pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 12:37am.
That was Benji the dog, and he was later found dead in her closet.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
LMAO... seriously how many Tinkerbells has she been through? 7? and she probably doesn't even know it. Her maids keep getting her new ones when they found out she's left her "accessory" in the closet again
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
If Paris ever dies, the company that makes Valtrex will be it's stock shares plummet.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
STD's like a wedding band really tie you together.
Oh, love, sweet love.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 9:39pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 12:37am.
That was Benji the dog, and he was later found dead in her closet.
***********************************************
heehee
fucking whore. How I hate her....
************************************************
Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Every time I read about Benji I think of the dog in that show.
Ohhh!!! TV thinks that too. HAHA. Probably because Madden looks like the dog.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:38am.
Submitted by FritoDorito on August 14, 2008 - 12:34am.
She's like McDonald's: she has a sign over her bed that says 99 billion served.
*********************************************
And they all got sick afterwards.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 12:37am.
That was Benji the dog, and he was later found dead in her closet.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by FritoDorito on August 14, 2008 - 12:34am.
She's like McDonald's: she has a sign over her bed that says 99 billion served.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I haven't heard about them breaking up yet....and I just saw a pic of Paris with Benji the other day wearing a shirt that had "OUR LOVE IS THE REAL THING" written on it. So it MUST be a long term thing....
************************************************
Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
I wouldn't blame Tony Parker if was an alcoholic. I'd be hitting the bottle pretty hard if I was married to that. I'd probably lose my shit if she then told me she wanted kids.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 10:29pm.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:24am.
Rumor has it she moved on to one of the founders of MySpace. Which makes me cancel my account immediately.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It amazes me that guys can fuck that after all that she's rumored to have crawling in that crotch (shudders)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade