Brace Yourselves! Eva Is Trying To Have A Baby!
File this under: Can't she just buy a baby mouse instead? "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry opened his butterball mouth to UsWeekly and said that Eva LongWHORIA is trying to have a baby. Alert the fucking world! You know she made him announce that.
He said that Eva and Tony are "desperately trying to get pregnant." I love how he threw the name of his show in there. Marc went on to say, "After they phone their doctor, she promised me I will be the next call." Negative. The first call will be to their PR sluts to begin the baby whoring.
You better believe that if she's pregnant, she's going to sell everything. EVERYTHING. She's going to sell the baby announcement, the ultrasound pictures, her placenta, the umbilical cord and limited-edition jars of her amniotic fluid. Shit, if the price is right, she'll even sell her baby! She'll also talk about it day and night. Eva will even launch the Eva Baby Watch Channel. 24-hours of Eva LongWHORIA baby news! Barf.
Here's Eva on the set of DH looking like she just got off the graveyard-shift from her job at Howard Johnson's. There's a little nip action in some of the pics, just so you know. I pity the poor child who has to suck on those selfish things. Yes, Eva has selfish nipples. You can tell.
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Huh; I wonder how many little baby mice she can litter.
I thought they didn't want babies for a while. She has to raise Tony, after all.
I bet Mario Lopez will father the damn baby. Something ain't clean in the milk with those two.
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
I see an announcement happening around sweeps.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
That kid is gonna look like Mario Lopez.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
It's these stupid multi-million dollar baby photo shoot payouts that are responsible for this. The financial planners probably sat down with her and Tony and told them that having a baby would be a good financial move.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
What's going on none of these celebrities can get pregnant.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmdun care. She looks like a Stepford Wife who got caught in a windmill. Next!
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Hi5.
Submitted by shoe addict on August 13, 2008 - 8:02pm.
Maybe she should start walking around with oversized jeans with the bottoms rolled up.
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Totally right, she's out of the loop. She should just start carrying a briefcase. Briefcase is the new baby!
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Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
Since when was procreating with elves legal?!!
'Heaux Confessionals'
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 8:05pm.
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'xactly...like I said...a Weeble.
wow. she looks horrid.
she better have that baby before tony parker realises what a bag she is and dumps her sorry ass for someone prettier... like kim kardassian lol.
She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
She'll probably have a live-feed "cervix cam" while she's in labor on a pay-only website, of course.
Submitted by Euphoria on August 13, 2008 - 8:00pm.
It would be quite the feat to out-miserable MISERAlba...but I want to see Eva get big as a Sumo wrestler. She's short, so I expect the Weeble effect from her!
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She's only having bebe times for attention because she's so GD dull otherwise.
She'd be one of those pregnant women who's ALL belly with just a few stubs for heads, hands and feet showing.
Tony and Eva, please spare us the medium-height desperate rat baby you would undoubtedly produce. Is one magazine cover of you as proud 'parents' really worth it?
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Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
How come everyone is "desperate to get pregnant" or "feverishly trying to conceive"?
Eva Weeble wobbles but she don't fall down (unless you push her).
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
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I'm over the baby thing already. Eva is boring. She should be more original. Maybe she should start walking around with oversized jeans with the bottoms rolled up.
Whoring out your baby is sooo last year
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Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 7:54pm.
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It would be quite the feat to out-miserable MISERAlba...but I want to see Eva get big as a Sumo wrestler. She's short, so I expect the Weeble effect from her!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregmce/512464852/
Ew. Visible nips.
Longoria nipples before bedtime? Why, damn it, why? I already feel sorry for any future sprog.
Submitted by Euphoria on August 13, 2008 - 7:51pm.
I'm desperately trying to give a rat's ass (no I'm not; I just wanted to say "desperately") but I just can't muster any emotion except contempt for this attention whore.
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I desperately want to see her out-miserify Alba when she looks in the mirror and sees how large she gets.
How do her teeth keep becoming more ratlike? Bitch needs to get that crap filed down, or start chewing on carrots and wood chips.
She will probably sell the baby naming rights to the highest bidder too, like they do with the sports stadiums.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I'm desperately trying to give a rat's ass (no I'm not; I just wanted to say "desperately") but I just can't muster any emotion except contempt for this attention whore.
Damn, look at the size of that diamond. Bitch. That thing is probably worth a year and 1/2 of my income, considering it is more than likely near flawless.
I wonder how long it'll be before she gets bored of it? The first time she realizes she can't take it to one of Tony's games?
Well duh.
Mommy baby hworer outer is her next job.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Good luck to them.
Darth Vader wore a raspberry beret