Is This Jennifer Aniston's New Piece?
Jennifer Aniston's fartytale romance with John Mayer has come to end, but she's already back at it. According to The Sun, Jenny has been seen with 28-year-old model Matt Felker. Matt used to bump it with Selma Blair. He was also in Brit Brit's video for "Toxic."
Never date dudes who are prettier than you. They usually smell better than you too. I dated a dude once who was so pretty that he always smelled like fresh gardenias. I couldn't explain it. Even after he showered. That's probably what Zac Efron smells like. No, he smells like CoverGirl foundation, baby powder and John Travolta drool. Matt Felker smells like Cheetos, summer rain and cocoa butter.
Hopefully, Jenny is just using this dude to fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away until you get pains in your chocha. That didn't make sense, but I'm not feeling well, so bare with me.
In other old maid news, The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Jenny is the one who called off her relationshp with John Mayer! It wasn't the other way around. Jenny got sick of John cheating on her ass and she allowed him three fuck-ups.
Apparently, John effed a cocktail waitress and a promoter's assistant for his tour. His third strike came when he did grossy grossy times with a groupie. A source added, "Jen who decided to move on. She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. ... Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye."
Since when is Jenny writing for The Chicago Sun-Times?
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Two Drink: like B would say "If I'm not your everything, how about I be nothing..." LOL
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
Submitted by Clarisse on August 14, 2008 - 11:39am.
Clarisse:
It's INTENT. Hudson, while not my fave person in the world, doesn't sit around moaning and wincing about the man that left her for another woman. Any sort of grieving, she does in private...and regardless of what you think of her, Kate always presents herself with vibrancy and spunk. (Take that last adjective any way you want...)
Aniston, OTOH, is still sulking about Brad Pitt, and always trying to one-up him and Angelina, and always comes across as clingy and desperate whenever she DOES get a new man. That's the difference.
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We'll build a fire in your eyes, when the color's getting brighter.
[Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Gold Lion"]
Vote for me! It's free...and if I win, I'll buy an ad on D-Listed to thank you! (first row, first from left)
http://billboardphoto.nielsencontests.com/bin/Rate?search=193__194
Sounds like a big ole crock to me. Second, noone gets 3 chances in my book. If I am not enough, there's the fucking door.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Riddle me this...
Aniston with a different guy every week =
sad loser that can't keep a man
K Hudson with a different guy every week = slut who is man-like in her turn-over mate rate
MEH.
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My dreams about him usually leave me reaching for a baby wipe and a cigarette, if I ain't being too sublte. -Michael K
Hey peeps...
While I do understand the pain of having a sig other cheat on you (though my rat-fucker ex did it with an ASS-ugly broad, unlike Brad), I think women like Jen Aniston who spend the rest of their lives allowing that one experience to color the rest of their personal and professional lives are just PATHETIC.
She went from actor to actor, then to a musician...a rock'n'roll musician, no less (granted, not a good one, and I'll tell my meeting Yawn Mayer story another time, but that said...). I mean, really, what DID she expect? Did she want him to stay home and get deep tissue massages with her? Musicians, by definition, cheat, and there are a whole cadre of rock wives who subscribe to the notion that their hubby can go out and get all the strange that he wants while he's on the road, as long as (a) he doesn't bring home any sort of diseases, (b) he doesn't knock some groupie slag up, and/or (c) he always comes home to the wife, emotionally and physically, at the end of the tour. (Sharon Osbourne immediately comes to mind...)
If you can deal with that lifestyle, good on you. Someone like Jen Aniston, however -- clingy, needy, insecure, desperate and WEAK -- cannot and could not. She set herself up for this disappointment.
That said...I must say her rebound is one FINE piece of ass...*smack*
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I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
[Kate Bush, "This Woman's Work"]
Vote for me! It's free, it's easy, it's fun...and if I win, I'll buy an ad on D-Listed to thank you! (first row, first from left)
http://billboardphoto.nielsencontests.com/bin/Rate?search=193__194
Submitted by TT99 on August 14, 2008 - 11:25am.
Oh, Jen! Why do you insist on getting with guys who are clearly hotter than you?
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She wants to attempt to create spawn cuter than Shiloh.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
This Matt Felker person/thing is a joke, right? This is supposed to be hot? Tepid is more like it. That photo says: I'm greasy, have stringy hair, sweaty BO armpits, and cannot resist online ordering for all the douchey jewelery on the International Male site even though I'm like totally straight. Oh yeah, I use the word "dude" incessantly.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
excellent point, Lilie - I was thinking 3 "strikes" was a bit outrageous, myself!
28?
Jen is not looking for long term, either she or whoever says she is needs to stop lie telling.
She's looking for hit and runs.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
If somebody cheats on you 3 times, are you really the dumper not the dumpee? Clearly John was signaling to Jennifer that he's just not into you and wanted out. I don't know who looks worse in this situation: John for cheating with skanky girls or Jennifer being so pathetic as to keep dating somebody who's faunting his cheating?
Oh, Jen! Why do you insist on getting with guys who are clearly hotter than you? Stay in your lane! Get a slightly uglier, less famous guy who...oh wait that was Vince Vaughn, and he STILL cheated. Damn.
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"Lemme get this straight. You're gonna tell on me?" - Theodore Bagwell
Whoa...he's fucking HOT. Yum!!!
Good move, Jen!
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When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
~Erasmus
JA is a retard.
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Hey Loonie! The term is "mentally challanged" - same term your parents use to describe you.
JA is a retard.
Can say I blame her for wanting a non-cheater, so love em and leave em because you don't need them.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 10:59am.
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Yeh I agree.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7OlA_Vjwz4
Submitted by TheBreakdown on August 14, 2008 - 10:54pm.
I've never understood people that feel the need to always be latched to someone, *anyone*, just for the sake of having someone.
Fuck THAT noise.
There's a difference between being single, and being alone!
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AMEN, brother!!
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" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
Well done with the upgrade, Jen.
__________________________
I am a DJ and I've got believers.
Laura,
I think you have my stapler.
LCT,
I'm feelin very Ralph today...mmmmmmm......Then Ernie blew it (literally)!
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My dreams about him usually leave me reaching for a baby wipe and a cigarette, if I ain't being too sublte. -Michael K
Lame ass non story is what it is!
edit! damn not on MK's part! Poor mother fucker is feeling sick you know! Im just saying this subject is lame ass non news.
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 14, 2008 - 11:00am.
UPGRADE!
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To Voldemort? YES PLEASE!
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
I work with a guy that looks kind of like him. Makes me sad I'm married sometimes.
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
I AGREE. Jen needs to stop trying so damn hard to latch onto guys. Why must some people always be in a relationship? Some of my happiest times were when I was single.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
What an upgrade!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
UPGRADE!
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My dreams about him usually leave me reaching for a baby wipe and a cigarette, if I ain't being too sublte. -Michael K
I don't find JA to be "unlucky"....she never ever has to work again, she looks great and she has friends.....
I'd like to have her life.
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
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.
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monogamy
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what a wasteful clause in the heterosexual marriage contract.
.
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might as well be dead
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.
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Giving John Mayer three chances to be faithful is like giving yourself three chances to catch herpes.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
JA should just take a relationship hiatus, period. Do things on her own and don't depend on a man to define her. Then, when she's feeling confident and comfortable, the right guy will come along. Trying to force the issue by hopping from man to man is just pointless. BE ALONE for a while.
And, I'm sorta hoping she chooses outside the acting/modeling/singing realm. Maybe a director, producer, writer, anybody but some self-involved twat. I think an older man might help her out with her daddy issues as well.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Jennifer Aniston is very unlucky, what has she done to deserve such a fate? Is it that chin? Is it because she plays the same character in every movie? Is it the fact that she dates every guy who gives her the slightest bit of attention? WHAT IS IT I ASK!
Submitted by aquarius on August 14, 2008 - 7:52am.
but giving someone 3 chances is BS! How many groupie diseases did he bring home to her?
Right on.
I've never understood people that feel the need to always be latched to someone, *anyone*, just for the sake of having someone.
Fuck THAT noise.
There's a difference between being single, and being alone!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
I agree with everyone who has said that JA in no way needs a man in her life... but giving someone 3 chances is BS! How many groupie diseases did he bring home to her? They haven't been dating long enough for him to have tested clean after every time he cheated on her.
I just don't understand why no one in Hollywood seems to worry about HIV, herpes, or the rest. When you have your significant other's entire sexual history documented on gossip sites, and you KNOW he's cheating on you, it seems very irresponsible to continue to have sex with him, even WITH protection. What if the condom breaks and he gives her HIV (not that he necessarily has it)? If you just want sex, find some sweet unknown guy who hasn't been with half the skanks in Hollywood!
I would be interested in knowing how many of those skanks do have something uncurable. In parts of New York City, the HIV and Hep C infection rate is 1 in 4 or higher; it would just take one Kate Hudson, Sienna Miller, or Lindsey Lohan to spread that shizz to half of California.
He was the K-Fed-looking dude in the suit in "Toxic" that Brits seduced in the back of the plane. Jen A is getting bonked, huh? Good on ya.
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 10:48am.
KD and LCT: at first I thought it was Wentworth FOR A SEC!
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I thought it was a manly version of Ms. Honey from Matilda.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by Little China Doll on August 14, 2008 - 10:41am.
Why do people (not just celebrities I guess) always jump from relationship to relationship?! Shit! Learn to be single for a while. What's the big effing deal??
cause they cant. feel they have no self worth unless they are attached at the privates to someone else...bloody annoying too. had a friend that did that guy to guy to guy to guy..now shes married to a douche...ah well you get whtat you wish for i spose?
KD and LCT: at first I thought it was Wentworth FOR A SEC!
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
I don't understand the appeal of either one of them. They both remind me of cold oatmeal.
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Just don't feed the gayelles! They eat enough of each other.---MK 8/5/2008
Snowpiece- looks like it time for him to hit the Rogain.
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 10:42am.
he looks hot at first but then he looks like Stephen Bladwin.
have you guys seen J Meyer with short hair?
http://www.usmagazine.com/hot_pics_gallery
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ICKY POO POO CACA!
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
He's cute. They would have great babies together! Just fuck him Jen, who cares at this point. Have fun!! Why did she even waste her time with John Mayer, he had jessica simpson.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
I bet he has no personality, so in that case, they are probably perfect for each other.
Well, if she is seeing this guy, it ain't going to last. And true, why is it these people jump from one person to another? How about taking some time out for yourself?
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
Ahh, and so the cycle begins again.
Whirlwind public appearances, her running her mouth off about wanting to marry him, talk of her trying to get knocked up, and inevitably, the breakup.
he looks hot at first but then he looks like Stephen Bladwin.
have you guys seen J Meyer with short hair?
http://www.usmagazine.com/hot_pics_gallery
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
Why do people (not just celebrities I guess) always jump from relationship to relationship?! Shit! Learn to be single for a while. What's the big effing deal??
That is one cheeeeeeeeesy looking dude.
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
If it's true, good for Jen for kicking Mayer's ass to the curb. He's hot, but not worth it if she wants fidelity and he can't even resist the trashtastic charms of random slutty cocktail waitresses. (Not to mention the gross mysogyny of it....why do these successful men like John Mayer and George Clooney want whore cocktail waitresses anyway? Really? I know many are just college girls, putting themselves through school, but they pick "models" like Sarah Larson. Whatever.)
Jen is, however, totally fucking dumb for then falling into the arms of a 28-year-old MODEL. Yah Jen, that's going to work out well. I'm sure he's going to give you the undivided attention and commitment you want. *Rolls eyes*
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Selma Blair would be a nice gayelle to convert though, wouldn't she?
I say Jen-Chin and Selma should do sexy times together.
Maniston's stock would definitely go up!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Dude, apparently this ain't true. Felcher planted the story to give himself free publicity.
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Help me!