Is This Jennifer Aniston's New Piece?
Jennifer Aniston's fartytale romance with John Mayer has come to end, but she's already back at it. According to The Sun, Jenny has been seen with 28-year-old model Matt Felker. Matt used to bump it with Selma Blair. He was also in Brit Brit's video for "Toxic."
Never date dudes who are prettier than you. They usually smell better than you too. I dated a dude once who was so pretty that he always smelled like fresh gardenias. I couldn't explain it. Even after he showered. That's probably what Zac Efron smells like. No, he smells like CoverGirl foundation, baby powder and John Travolta drool. Matt Felker smells like Cheetos, summer rain and cocoa butter.
Hopefully, Jenny is just using this dude to fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away until you get pains in your chocha. That didn't make sense, but I'm not feeling well, so bare with me.
In other old maid news, The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Jenny is the one who called off her relationshp with John Mayer! It wasn't the other way around. Jenny got sick of John cheating on her ass and she allowed him three fuck-ups.
Apparently, John effed a cocktail waitress and a promoter's assistant for his tour. His third strike came when he did grossy grossy times with a groupie. A source added, "Jen who decided to move on. She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. ... Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye."
Since when is Jenny writing for The Chicago Sun-Times?
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In other old maid news,
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Is that some kinda dig?
ONT: Hohum.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
If this is true, then good for her! He's hot. 'Nuff said.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Another site says JA broke it off cuz her dog Norman didn't like Mayer (always a good reason in my book).
And yet another site is calling bs on this new guy since he's been known to make claims like this before for publicity.
Now I'm gonna go bang my head against a wall repeatedly cuz I just realized I've actually read 3 articles about this.
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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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@Breakdown.. Anything is an upgrade from that JMayer. He's sickening *burps & Farts at same time* that's how sick he makes me!!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
I love me a pretty boy. The man-kilt, not so much. I thought Selma Blair was gayelle. That might explain her dating a pretty boy.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
*jaw drops*
-WHY- can't Hollyweird share with the rest of the world!?! WHY???
I remember his hot ass in the video for "Toxic" several years ago. I thought he was so fucking hot (still do) that I watched that vid over and over and over. Damn son.
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Hi5.
As much as I despise all of these morons, I really think jennifer doesn't give a fuck about being called an old maid or not being over brad.
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" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
Speaking of cheetos. I've been out for a few days, And what was that Britney thread about, That was removed. Please do tell! anyone! I'm dying!!!! dying here! *points to self*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
For a split second, I thought that was Halle's piece.
Then I know Jen-Chin would be getting a beatdown.
Jen can date whoever she wants. She deserves a hot piece after all the hell she's been put through.
This is definitely an upgrade from the previous douche.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston