Friday, August 15th 2008
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For August 14th!
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may motorboat the bride" - Molly Jones
Runners-up:
The mullet of wedding dresses. Business on the bottom, Party on top. - Jennyann002
it was obvious to all the wedding guests what "something new" referred to...... - snowpiece
Thanks Sarah
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Ali Lohan shows on her wedding day that they're REAL!
This is not what you think, it is actually a behind the scenes shot of Disney Channel's latest hit 'After High School Musical' .
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Blushing Mother of the Bride is more like it.
Every mother plans for her daughter the dream wedding she never had. Too bad for this poor girl, her mum's Jodie Marsh.
Amber was pissed that the seamstress didn't finish the top of her gown in time. She was assured that no one would notice.
Submitted by Freak Speely on August 14, 2008 - 12:57pm.
Bride: "Sorry everybody, I didn't have time to dye my wedding dress scarlet fuckin' red; I had to work the goddamn fuckin' day shift at the Spearmint Rhino. Ok, preacher-man, let's do this shit."
if this was up for a vote, you'd have mine. i laughed hard under my breath. i can't laugh out loud as my boss would fire me.
"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."
Aristotle
For Jessica's next marriage, Joe Simpson insisted that he design his daughter's dress, citing that "Father knows best for his little girl."
{The Captain is Totally Fetch}
I can't tell which one is the biggest tit. Her left one, her right one, or her new husband.
No one told her she didn't have to prominently display her "something new".
"Call me a fat cow!" thought the maid of honor as she took the bride's gown for some last minute alterations.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
"What a fucking tacky ass tie!"
"You can imagine the bride's embarrassment when the groom showed up in that tacky ass tie!"
Submitted by hozfosho on August 14, 2008 - 1:24pm.
What a fucking tacky ass tie!
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LOL!
(Save! The coffee stayed in my mouth that time)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by r5bales on August 14, 2008 - 1:22pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 9:45am.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 15, 2008 - 12:43am.
Submitted by angel_i on August 14, 2008 - 9:41am.
Submitted by theboy on August 14, 2008 - 12:41pm.
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Ok. On the right: Beijing. On the left: Montreal - how's that?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Say Yes to the Dress Season Premier: Budget Brides.
{The Captain is Totally Fetch}
So...
"some skank ho, some ugly goob, something haggard, and some big boobs"
...isn't the traditional wedding custom?
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
Tiffany? My money was on Chardonnay.
(bonus point- Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany- thought I would mention it)
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 9:45am.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 15, 2008 - 12:43am.
Submitted by angel_i on August 14, 2008 - 9:41am.
Submitted by theboy on August 14, 2008 - 12:41pm.
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OK. SOMEONE has to recognize the buildings behind them. Where is this?
It's priest, try a little priest.
I DDo.
I thought she wanted to look like a ballarina not a BALLOON-arina. ich.
Sarah mistakenly thought the saying was "Something old, something new, something borrowed, some big boobs."
There may not be a blushing bride at this ceremony, but I bet there is one humiliated dad and half a church full of laughing teenaged boys.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
I have a feeling they may have already consummated the union.
You gotta give it to the shop assistant: this is THE dress that makes the bride positively not look fat.
Is it too late to say, "I don't?"
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
It used to be customary for the bride's family to present a dowry to the groom, but Tiffany thought her display of nipple strength would be the best way to showcase the assets she was bringing to the marriage.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
...and somewhere a designer is weeping softly into a lace hanky.
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Brides - Now available in easy opening packages!
Submitted by MollyJones on August 14, 2008 - 9:52am.
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may motorboat the bride"
Too funny....
It's all in fun 'til someone loses an eye...
Submitted by Freak Speely on August 14, 2008 - 9:57am.
Bride: "Sorry everybody, I didn't have time to dye my wedding dress scarlet fuckin' red; I had to work the goddamn fuckin' day shift at the Spearmint Rhino. Ok, preacher-man, let's do this shit."
HAHAHAHAHA
Tiffany couldnt understand why everyone's backs were turned...even the groom couldnt make eye contact. The dress cost her 5,000 dollars of her hard earned Spearmint Rhino pay!!
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
I think that the groom finally realizes that the only cherry he'll be getting tonight is the one the bride ties the stem of between her teeth.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
I just want to smack this ho. With such and exquisite dress on, she should be thrilled.
Tiffany's emotions were spilling forth on this beautiful day.
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Wedding bands: $1200
Florist: $2000
Hottest swing band: $3500
Having your tittays hang out of your dress: Classless
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
There won't be a dry eye in the house when Bubba, her boss at Cheaterz Strip Club, gives her away.
I thought that "shelf bras" were supposed to be on the INSIDE.
"Thank god for double sided tape"
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Surfing the apocalypse.
The real tragedy of this picture is not the boobs crammed in the dress, but the boob standing right beside her.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
After the horrendous, drunken ceremony where the groom's mother was caught under the table with KFed, it looks like the happy couple's egos weren't the only things that deflated.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
Tiffany claimed she forgave her soon to be mother in law, but at the ceremony, i got a sinking feeling she still held a grudge.
(note that all of us Dlisters assume this whore's name is Tiffany!!!)
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
The only reason the nipples aren't showing is because the football team chewed them off the night before.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
MK!!! We need a backstory on this dog and pony show!
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
When the groom's mommy said that he might have to lower his standards if he ever hoped to get married, this is not exactly what she meant.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
Canteloupe now. Already done got married!
After designing this exquisite wedding dress, Shauna Sands tells Vera Wang to “Eat your heart out, I rule at designing dresses for those with a couple of…augmentations”
What a HO!!!!!
Alright, honestly sweetie, does this dress make my ass look big?
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
And to think, daddy still thinks his baby is a virgin.
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"I just want to wet her lips and stick her to something." ~ Man Of The Year (about Angelina Ho-Lee)
www.myspace.com/cinnaburst_1976
Tiffany didn't have time to get her dress altered after her recent breast augmentation, but she was sure no one would notice.
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hahaha! I loved this ^
Bride: "Sorry everybody, I didn't have time to dye my wedding dress scarlet fuckin' red; I had to work the goddamn fuckin' day shift at the Spearmint Rhino. Ok, preacher-man, let's do this shit."