Thursday, August 14th 2008
What Is Katie Wearing Today?
Welcome back to The Katie Holmes Denim Watch '08! Although, Katie isn't wearing denim today. She's wearing what I call a "going to do laundry" outfit. It's also the only outfit you'd find hanging in HoHan's closet. It's pretty effin sad that I have no idea what I wore yesterday, but I know what this ho wore. I swear. I need a new hobby.
And when is this sad robot going to cheer up already! Being married to a crazy closet case and worshiping aliens isn't that bad! Okay, maybe it is.
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And by digital, I mean FINGERS. One, two, three, RIIIIIP.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 14, 2008 - 5:00pm.
@Kizzy
Oh you and me both, doll, I am soooo right there with you. I swear, I don't think I could live through that again. My colon would come right out of my ass, wrap around my throat, and strangle me for even touching the package. My feet quick step past the aisle in the drugstore of their own volition. I'll never forget it, it was called FLEET. I didn't realize that meant you would shit more than the entire navy, but it does.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
LCT - I work for a bowel surgeon - if you get an anal fissure, I'll book you for a digital anal stretch, under anaesthetic.
Imagine...
Submitted by Big L on August 14, 2008 - 5:03pm.
Why paint your fingernails turquoise and then hide them? Or is it another COS ritual??
yes it is a ritual to have to finger bang a smurf as you click your heels and listen to barry manilow while wishing for the Tin man to let you out of your cage!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Why paint your fingernails turquoise and then hide them? Or is it another COS ritual??
ANAL FISSURE
I'm almost tempted to Google that.
I did.
Oh dear.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
all the poo talking fits because KATIE IS A PIECE OF SHIT!
so is tom and that loud bitch from kings of queens and their giant bad ass baby who shits thier bed!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
@Kizzy
That's it zactly. Y'know I thought about mixing up that sachet and drinking that shit as well but figured I'd see if the two pills worked first. I would have ended up in the hospital I reckon. It was waaaaay worse than any bacteria induced illness. I've had diarrhea, but I've never experienced my arsehole heaving every 5 seconds.
I am never ever ever having a colonoscopy because I'm not going through the prep. I'd rather die of bowel cancer.
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 14, 2008 - 4:56pm.
What the Fuck conversation did I just click into?
Scroll back, its DEEP and I will never be able to look at a picture of Kate without feeling a spasm in my sphincter.
Snowpooo and anal fissures, NOW it's a party!!!
*sniffs air*
Man, it smells like shit in here!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
What the Fuck conversation did I just click into?
Those look like the dye-to-match satin flats I wore to my junior prom. They're even the same color. I always wondered what happened to them after I donated them to Goodwill.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. --Dr. Seuss
You girls and your shit stories are seriously going to either make me shit my legs off or blow my tits off.
Explosive gas can cause an anal fissure, hence the expression "Ripping yourself a new asshole"
I am changing my name to SnowPoooooooo!
OMG all of a sudden it is raining like Sandbitch's asshole in NYC right now, run for cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
Submitted by Kizzy on August 14, 2008 - 4:47pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 14, 2008 - 4:40pm
Girl, I so feel your pain, I too, know the ignominy of vomiting out your asshole. It's not pleasant, and you know your asshole is truly vomiting, it's no longer shitting, or even "a movement" it's straight up plain your asshole is puking. I had to have my gallbladder out, so they gave me this colon cleansing shit I had to drink. I thought it just meant CLEANSE, I didn't realize it meant spit shined, polished, no remnant of a speck or drop or anything left at all, mopped, scrubbed, and scraped with a squeegee!!! I drank water, and didn't piss, I vomited it out of my ass!! I had to quit drinking so I could quit shitting!!
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You girls and your shit stories are seriously going to either make me shit my legs off or blow my tits off.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Who would have thought that a photo of Tommy Girl's "Incubator" would bring us so much joy.
I have laughed so hard I am sure to pass an annoconda.
Poo is the best word ever.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 14, 2008 - 4:40pm
Girl, I so feel your pain, I too, know the ignominy of vomiting out your asshole. It's not pleasant, and you know your asshole is truly vomiting, it's no longer shitting, or even "a movement" it's straight up plain your asshole is puking. I had to have my gallbladder out, so they gave me this colon cleansing shit I had to drink. I thought it just meant CLEANSE, I didn't realize it meant spit shined, polished, no remnant of a speck or drop or anything left at all, mopped, scrubbed, and scraped with a squeegee!!! I drank water, and didn't piss, I vomited it out of my ass!! I had to quit drinking so I could quit shitting!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 14, 2008 - 4:40pm.
HUGE MISTAKE.
Oh yes, I shat alright. I shat 10 days worth of food in 30 minutes then my arsehole DRY RETCHED and lurched non-stop for the next 8 hours.
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Holy shit I haven't silently LOL'd that hard in a long time. Holy fuck me in my fake balls. How did you survive that????
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 14, 2008 - 4:40pm.
HAAAAAAAAA well thatshit sucked !
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Since we're talking shit/poo. I went camping a few Easters ago and for some reason, I didn't get the urge to go poo. Eight days later and still no poo. First day back at work (doctors office) I took 2 high dose Durolax pills from a colonoscopy prep kit.
HUGE MISTAKE.
Oh yes, I shat alright. I shat 10 days worth of food in 30 minutes then my arsehole DRY RETCHED and lurched non-stop for the next 8 hours.
*bends over*
Thanks Okie! It's just a picture of her sitting at a table with cheetos, sunkist and white bread with her retarded ugly children. Just a day like any other for them, I'm sure. Oh wait. I meant 30% of the time.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Stoney, thanks, I'll have to go there whn i get home, That site is restricted from my work. Shucks! thanks for the info.. *stuffs dollar down g-string*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by oklahoma on August 14, 2008 - 3:27pm.
I have to go!!! please!!
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Poo times?
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 4:25pm.
LCT; that sounds like something Britney would do, talk to her pooos
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Well, where do you think I got it from?
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by Stoney on August 14, 2008 - 4:26pm.
Thanks carrot. Sometimes if I just lean back a little my poos cooperate a little better and there's no need for conversation.
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WATERSLIDE!
*Neeeeeeooooooooooorrrrrr* *Sploosh*
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 14, 2008 - 3:25pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 14, 2008 - 4:23pm.
It's been difficult for me to poo ever since my Friday night butthole mishap
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How many GD times do I have to tell you garlic sausage is for SANDWICHES?!
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But I was using Italian sausage!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Okie, idontlikeyouinthatway has it up.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Hey, What was that Britney's favorite things post about?? What was that picture that was removed? tell me quick, I have to go!!! please!!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Thanks carrot. Sometimes if I just lean back a little my poos cooperate a little better and there's no need for conversation.
__________________________________________
"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 14, 2008 - 4:23pm.
It's been difficult for me to poo ever since my Friday night butthole mishap
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How many GD times do I have to tell you garlic sausage is for SANDWICHES?!
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
LCT; that sounds like something Britney would do, talk to her pooos
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
It's been difficult for me to poo ever since my Friday night butthole mishap.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 4:20pm.
he is a tan little thang isnt he?
Id like to hurt his butt!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Submitted by Stoney on August 14, 2008 - 4:13pm.
Crying doesn't make me poo, but pooing sometimes makes me cry...
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You just have to have a little talk with your poos, and soon crying will make you poo. Just hunker down on the can, let the tears flow, talk to your poos all gentle-like and they'll come...
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
AJP: let's go see Dr 90210, I think he does anal retightnings
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 4:13pm.
CONGRATULATIONS!
boy must have a long dong if your log maker be loose every once upon a time!
I have the same issue. I need to retread my tires!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
If I,
Should stay,
I would only,
Poo,
In your way!
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
I DID just pookie!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
She can talk you thru this hard poo times!
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Ooh. Hard poo times is triflin' times--they can really damage an asshole!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Ok...so i got this sugar free chocolate milk mix for my boys....which they loved. But i SHIT you not...it turned their poo a sort of dark green. Looked like fucking frosting. too funny!!
ON TOPIC: (since all of us foolios hijacked the thread with poopy talk)
Katie looks like she stepped in poo and is trying to scrape it off her shoe.
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Crying doesn't make me poo, but pooing sometimes makes me cry...
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Ever since I started letting my BF stick it in my cornholio I have no control over my butt muscles anymore! MK, do you have any tips? AJP??? ;P
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
Look between my thiiiighs
You will see, something that is not peeee
Search your farts
Search your hole
And when you find turds there, you'll search no more
Don't tell me pooing's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth getting hemmerhoids for
You know it's true, everything I do
I do it for poo
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Snowpiece, I think that was LCT that said that. She can talk you thru this hard poo times! there there, poo, there there, *pats ass*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by snowpiece on August 14, 2008 - 4:10pm.
wait, who was the one who said crying made them poo? Okie? Because I am crying and I don't want to poo right now, HELP!
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You just have to clench your butthole tight so they can't come and investigate.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
2girls1cup is one of the worst things I have ever seen. does anyone have the link? LOL
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
HOLY CRAP!!
I'm trying not to laugh so damn hard...im drawing attention to myself here in the office. I should be working....
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 14, 2008 - 4:07pm.
I TAKE Big Poo's and I can NOT Lie,
You other brothers, can't De-ny..
When a girl walks in w/ a itty bitty waste,
w/ a round poo in your face,
you get Sprung!!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH well, I don't think I have to go poop anymore. Not in the bafroom, anyway.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
wait, who was the one who said crying made them poo? Okie? Because I am crying and I don't want to poo right now, HELP!
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper