Bernann McKinney: The Craziest Bitch Of Our Time
The crazy dog cloning lady aka the Mormon man rapist aka Bernann McKinney is getting so much action on this site that she needs her own fucking tag. In case you have no idea what I'm babbling about, let me fill you in. Well, first you need to slap yourself with a rubber vagina, because you really should know about this story.
So...Bernann paid Korean scientists $50,000 to clone her dead dog Booger. She made international headlines. Someone recognized her crazy ass as a woman named Joyce McKinney. Joyce kidnapped and sexually assaulted a Mormon dude in England in the 1970s. She fled England and spent the next 30+ years doing a bunch of hood rat stuff including breaking into a dog pound and whoring herself out for drugs. Bernann confessed that she is indeed Joyce McKinney.
Well, the bitch has been recognized again! Officials in Carter County, TN claims Bernann is the same bitch who was charged with criminal conspiracy to commit aggravated burglary and contributing to the delinquency of a minor in their town in 2004.
Apparently, a woman who looks a lot like Bernann convinced a 15-year-old boy to break into a house to steal some cash. She said she needed the money to buy a fake leg for her horse. Feed me to the fucking alligators, I've heard it all!
The woman then skipped town, missing her trial. Officials are currently deciding if they wish to pursue the matter. They said, "It'll depend on where she is now, how important the case is, how much it would cost the taxpayers and whether witnesses are still around."
AND (yes, there's more) with all the attention she's been getting, Bernann has left Korea without her cloned puppies. She's on the run and might be coming for you.
Previously, I said that Lifetime needs to work on a movie about Bernann's life. I take it back. This shit right here was MADE for John Waters. It's a shame Edith Massey has passed away. The role of Bernann McKinney was meant for her.
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save the puppy, she looks like she's about to eat it!
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think of the chilfren!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inventions_in_the_Muslim_world
This sh-t WAS MADE for John Waters, you know that hot bitch is the only one who could do this story justice.
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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert
Hot slut of the year and Saint of the church of Dlisted
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by justjane on August 15, 2008 - 8:10pm.
O.K. to be fair, have you priced prosthetic horse legs lately? Hmmmm?
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Hahaha... I saw one on ebay the other day, the starting bid was like $472.81. Too rich for my blood!
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
O.K. to be fair, have you priced prosthetic horse legs lately? Hmmmm?
How the fuck did this douchebag come up with 50 large to fucking clone her god dam dog? Oh I forgot, she ran a bank job.
Someone get that poor wittle puppy away from her, NOOOOWWWWWWW.
And I want a full-out dirt-digging bio of this crazy hobag, followed by an equally kooky TV miniseries. This shit is better than fiction!
Didn't the person who "outed" her claim that she beat up his wife? Why wasn't she arrested for that issue?
She probably stole the money to clone those puppies, given her track record.
Poor puppies! I hope they find a good home. As for Bernann McKinney, I hope they lock her up with Large Marge and friends.
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'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars...
-Nickelback, "Rockstar"
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 1:31pm.
Netflix let me down and was a day behind...
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Yes, they sent me an email and begged for my forgiveness. They are having "problems."
Well, fuck them.
OK, not really.
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"Scwew yew, Ah do OWN fing." *Raspberry*
Mrs.Kravitz,
It is on the TV for tonight!!! Netflix let me down and was a day behind...
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
How does a woman rape a guy.....isnt that physically impossible unless the guy is excited by the woman and his little pecker gets hard and slips in and out and in and out....if its soft, itll just keep falling out thus making sex impossible...
(*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*)
First morgan freeman flips his car, then Bernie Mac AND Issac Hayes die. Sammuel L. Jackson better watch his back!
LOVE HER!!! Can we clone her???
Show me the crazy!!!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 15, 2008 - 1:27pm.
"She said she needed the money to buy a fake leg for her horse."
I'm sure there was a mix-up, she just visited the U.K.; so I bet that she said that she needed the money to buy a fake leg for that whore... referring to Heather Mills.....I'm sure that's what she said.
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That's the first one to make me laugh in a LONG time..lol
oh hell no...this crazzzy bitch better stay away from tn. Im in sullivan county..and if I spot the crazy ho, I'm gonna snag her ass and sell her to the highest bidder..
"She said she needed the money to buy a fake leg for her horse."
I'm sure there was a mix-up, she just visited the U.K.; so I bet that she said that she needed the money to buy a fake leg for that whore... referring to Heather Mills.....I'm sure that's what she said.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
DivasGone on August 15, 2008 - 1:30pm.
I don't know how anyone can top Lady Looney Tunes for HSOTY.
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No way! La Pequeña beats her!
lol
John Travolta could play this part.
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OMG I used to live in Carter County TN.
M.K., your references to John Waters and Edith "The Egg Lady" Massey warmed my heart. Thanks.
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" . . . this is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
Her story is a gift that keeps on giving.
MY IDOL HAS DONE IT AGAIN!
Bernann or whatever the flying fuck your name is, you are officially my avie again. I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN!
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Hi5.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 15, 2008 - 1:02pm.
yeah and they got a name for it...larceny.
Actually, there are several names for the things she's done: Larceny, Aiding & Abetting, Kidnapping, Sexual Assault, maybe Rape, and maybe Conspiracy.
My hero.
I nominate Dina Lohan for the starring role.
I don't know how anyone can top Lady Looney Tunes for HSOTY. I think Bernann's got this thing cinched.
My favoritest part: one of the articles I was reading called her a "Former Sex Kidnapper".
Holy shit, that is only the best title EVER!!!! You can put that behind anyone's name and that would make them coolest person alive. Try it.
Sincerely,
DivasGone, Former Sex Kidnapper.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 10:15am.
did you watch shallow grave yet?
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I've really got to use my imagination
To think of good reasons
To keep on keepin' on
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 1:15pm.
LCT,
Boogers are like snowflakes! There are no two alike! Aesthetically your new boogers may look like your old boogers, but all boogers are different!!
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This is true. I had the COOLEST boogers once. I had bronchitis or some nasty crap like that, and I had a lot of boogies, and I blew them out and they looked like expanding insulation... you know, all globby and weird looking.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
LCT,
Boogers are like snowflakes! There are no two alike! Aesthetically your new boogers may look like your old boogers, but all boogers are different!!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
OMG I love that you said Edith Massey!! Queen Carlotta Rules!
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 1:06pm.
WAAAAAAAAIT! After all this that bitch left her 5 little boogers?????
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If she tries to clone her real boogers to replace the old Boogers, I'm done with life.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by madam s. on August 15, 2008 - 10:04am.
I'm not into the dog-cloning idea, but I will make an exception for Minch and please sign me up for the first copy.
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I'm not into the dog-cloning idea either but I do like the idea of making a fast buck and lying on the beach for the rest of my life.
Yesterday SO MANY people asked me "What kind of dog of he?" I ended up snapping at some poor woman "The kind with four legs, ya stupid bitch!!!!!"
OK, I didn't really say that.
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I've really got to use my imagination
To think of good reasons
To keep on keepin' on
WAAAAAAAAIT! After all this that bitch left her 5 little boogers?????
Why isn't human euthanasia legal? Really?
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Ahhahaa... I love how long this crazy woman's posts have to be simply because there is so much crazy-ass CONTENT to cover. She's not a one-hit wonder crazy antic type, she's life-long committed to the bizarre. And I agree that John Waters is orgasmic over this woman. If this woman (or her general likeness) doesn't end up in one of his next movies I will be shocked.
And Mrs. K... I'm not into the dog-cloning idea, but I will make an exception for Minch and please sign me up for the first copy.
Exciting stuff. Would it be possible to clone McKinney and do a reality show?
Submitted by Zeroelle on August 15, 2008 - 9:30am.
In a way, I admire her drive. I mean, this lady has gone after whatever she's wanted and gotten it
yeah and they got a name for it...larceny.
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I've really got to use my imagination
To think of good reasons
To keep on keepin' on
FatMartha, why are you getting yourself in so much trouble?
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
I can already see her pulling tricks at the Beijing games.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
They should team this crazy bitch up with the crazy, jealous diaper-wearing astronaut who drove from Houston to Florida to harrass her romantic rival. What an awesome reality show THAT would make.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I also like that while she was in the UK, she pretended to be a blind/deaf/mute mime. Then, when she came back to the States, she pretended to be a nun.
She should be in the Guinness World Record book under the Craziest Bitch Ever.
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
She HAS to write a tell all book!
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥~
OMG yes! Kathy Bates! She is so fucking brilliant.
This bitch has taken her crazy all around the world! Impressive.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
AHHHAHAHAH MK!! i loooooove the new tag "crazy dog cloning lady" ahaha omg im suing you for making me laugh so much. no wait, im gonna force you to break into someone;s home, i need money for a wooden dildo.
-=meow hiss purr=-
Submitted by MollyJones on August 15, 2008 - 11:33am.
Oooh it would make a good John waters movie--- good call! Ya think he reads DListed?
Excellent Idea! You got Cloned Puppies and Man-Rape that is better plot than 90% of the movies Hollywood is making.
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When tryin' to untangle
The Jingle from the Jangle
It's easy if you listen with your heart.
Sing Me, Sing Me, Sing Me...
What the!? Hold meeeee!
She scuuuuressssshhhhhh me!
PS: LMAO @ "She said she needed the money to buy a fake leg for her horse"
I love and admire her. Do you know the balls it takes to be woman behind so many great illegal feats. I cant believe she wasted 50g's and then left the fucking dogs behind, but no matter, she can always get someone to break into a house because her cow needs a new tail, and use that money to clone the cloned dog so she can have a new one . I dont know whether I want the cops to pursue her or not, if they do it'll be riviting to see them try to catch her, and it'll give her more face time, but if they dont maybe we wont hear from her again. Doubtful, with her past Im sure more and more people will come forward.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
Submitted by Salem13 on August 15, 2008 - 12:34pm.
WTF is wrong with people? That Apocalypse is wwaaayyy over due.
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There's people like that all amongst us....some scary shit!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Submitted by Salem13 on August 15, 2008 - 12:45pm.
you made me spitz out mah orange draaank!
silvia brown!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Submitted by islandgirl on August 15, 2008 - 11:36am
I hate looking at that poor mother dog in the video because she looks like she's on her last leg.. all scrawny and panting. Poor baby.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2024910810015105708zdhVRP
Its uncanny really
Submitted by Zeroelle: "In a way, I admire her drive. I mean, this lady has gone after whatever she's wanted and gotten it: sexy Mormon dude, Booger II, and now? Freedom. Yes, she's my hero."
I know what you mean. The crazies have something missing that enables them to do this kind of stuff. It IS admirable in its own way.
And who changes their name TO "Bernann"?