Friday, August 15th 2008
John Mayer Is Shy
For the past couple of days, John Mayer has been covering up his douche mug from the paparazzi in NYC. John is usually so fucking chatty with those bitches.
His eyes are probably red shot from all the crying he's been doing. I mean, he's just lost the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. Or maybe he has herpes in the eyes (NSFL). Yeah, it's probably the latter.
Here's John looking like a Batman fangirl today, and looking like Jacko yesterday. He should keep the "Jacko-look." He's never looked sexier.
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DOUCHE BAD!DOUCHE BAD!DOUCHE BAD!DOUCHE BAD!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
What dot said. Let nature take it's course! Unless of course you wear your panties for days on end and do your science fair project on the various flavors of pudding you can make. In those instances, a little squirt might be what the doctor (and the CDC) ordered.
I always thought people called guys douches because it is something that for some unknown reason a bitch puts between her legs only for it to do more harm than good.
☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•☼•
The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews
But if their hearts were dying that fast,
They'd have done the same as you
My hubby has the best legs...he's tall too...6'5". Only has to shave the "right" places(wink wink)...lol...his legs have just the right amount of hair and its light in color. I consider myself lucky to have such a hunk for a hubby. :D
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
You heard it here first, sluts...
AIR OUT YA SNATCH!
Summer breeze makes it feel nice!
Maybe that is what Brit and Linds were doing all those times they exited the car?!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Now after all this lovely talk about douches, smegma (thanks LTC) and vajayjay flora and fauna, I must go eat dinner! Be back in a bit lovelies. xP
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Hi5.
Well dot...i have never needed to douche...so my flora and fauna is coo! ;P
I get your point though...i was just trying to steer away from saying DOUCHE so much....lol.
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
@.(dot): DAMN GIRL, wash yo veggies mo! xP
@Deb: I don't like using it because I've heard it fucks up your pH or something? And the last thing I wanna do is fuck up my pH (because no one wants an acidy or base-y vajayjay - that would lead to messed-up peenor times!)
@Nova: Hairy thighs are yuck. My man used to shave his legs, though, which, strikes me as kind of gay/douchey. So I made him stop. Haha.
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Hi5.
"see douche run!" is what i think of when i look at the last thumb.
-=meow hiss purr=-
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 15, 2008 - 5:41pm.
Yeah...we should stop insulting women by referring to him as something a woman needs from time to time(everyday if your Paris) or a womans body part.
Nova, a 'douche' for a woman is a misnomer because it actually flushes out all of the good, natural flora that fight the baddies and therefore women who douche end up with far more many yeast infections and VD. Douche BAD. Say it with me girls, DOUCHE BAD! A woman's vagina naturally cleanses itself and if you have a yeast problem cut down on the BAD carbs (i.e. white bread, white rice). Also don't wear tights and pantyhose or polyester. AIR IT OUT in other words.
dunna dunna dunna dun
dunna dunna dunna dun
DOUCHEMAN, DOUCHMAN, DOUCHMAN
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The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews
But if their hearts were dying that fast,
They'd have done the same as you
He's more like a wad of PENILE CHEESE...
there is nothing "clean and refreshing" about this chunk of cheese. lol
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Ok...I just have to point out that the two guys in the FOR HIM ad on the right side of the page are kinda gross. I keep looking right at the one guys hairy awful thighs...
BARF
ONTOPIC:
BARF
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
The only thing I hate about calling a guy a douche is that a douche makes you feel clean and fresh. Nothing about this turdball makes me feel that way...
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Justin Timberlake has called and thanked John Mayer personally for making the douche of the year award a competition this year.
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Winnie,
Does that make him a Douchole?
. or Dot?
You got salmonella THREE times??? Do you buy organic? Fuck that!!! I'd be afraid to eat anything!!!!
On topic: Douche *teeeheeeeheee*
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
I see a lot of people using the word 'douche' to describe this guy. Funny, 'cause that was the first word that came to my mind, too.
DOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHE
DOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHE
DOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHEDOUCHE
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 15, 2008 - 5:48pm.
*sigh*...i miss TLC!! Sorry..the song is playing right now in my office.
Me too. Left Eye Lisa died way too soon. *cry*
FatMartha...
besides how yummy he was in Pirates...
Kingdom of Heaven is my favorite Orli movie. He is sex on a stick in that movie!!
ONTOPIC:
BARF
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Winnyfran, well said! Everyone has an asshole. Much like an opinion!
And I too would like to see some Orly in PoP. Sigh, tis not to be. Well, there's "the Red Circle" to look forward to, and "New York I Love you."
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 5:40pm.
Did ya'll catch MK's sick? Everyone is barfing!!
Clar, yes and Yes. I'm scared to eat fricking VEGETABLES right now [from the grocers]. I wash my veges really good but GD I got sick THREE fricking times this year from salmonella and I keep my kitchen clean so it wasn't ME and I'm the only one in my fam that likes to eat raw veg...fam likes raw fruit but not raw vegs so I was the ONLY one who get sick each and very time. My organic vege garden isn't ripening because of the lack of sun. Is that DOUCHEY or what? Goddess is being a mean biotch this year.
:(
I love to the say the word "Douche" btw...it just rolls off the tongue so lovely.
Nothing wrong with hating the word "Douche" either but for me, personally it cracks me up and I take no offense to it. Feel free [all of you] to call me a douche. :D!
DOUCHEHOLE!!!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 15, 2008 - 6:14pm.
*sigh*....Orli!!!! he shoulda been the Prince of Persia...not Jakey "Toothy Tile" Gyllenhall...
Yumminess....*purrrrrs thinking about Orli*
Thanks FatMartha....im having nice daydreams now...
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Mmmmm I knowww, isn't he delish? Too bad he's dating that boob, Miranda Kerr. Oh well. He will always be doing sex with me in my dreams. Yum.
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Hi5.
How about asshole? He's a douche AND an asshole.
maybe his herpes is acting up are you sure that is John Mayer??????
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Diggin the scene
Diggin on you
Diggin on me
Baby Babe OOH
Baby Baby
Its ON like that
Its ON like that
I gotta be in love
or somethin like that.....
*sigh*...i miss TLC!! Sorry..the song is playing right now in my office.
ONTOPIC:
I cant wait to see who penile cheese dates(fools)next...
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 15, 2008 - 5:40pm.
Did ya'll catch MK's sick? Everyone is barfing!!
LCT,
Did you have something to do with this?
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Negative. I'm not barfing, therefore, could not have spread the barfamizing.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
He's probably petrified that the bitter divorcees of the world will club him to death in the street.
That said, where the hell did he buy those Batman jammies?
*sigh*....Orli!!!! he shoulda been the Prince of Persia...not Jakey "Toothy Tile" Gyllenhall...
Yumminess....*purrrrrs thinking about Orli*
Thanks FatMartha....im having nice daydreams now...
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 15, 2008 - 5:42pm.
Submitted by chin chin on August 15, 2008 - 6:08pm.
Awww man... Chin Chin, everytime I see that picture I think he looks like Orlando Bloom. Don't ruin my tween fantasies about the Bloom by posting that picture! *cries*
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hmm? but why not? its the hottest guy ever, paul newman, im sure thats not gonna ruin your fantasies?? *confused** did you think it was someone else?
-=meow hiss purr=-
wow like all these posts are shit all over john mayer.
i love him. especially since he's single again and not dating someone pushing fortyyy. (thats just weird)
Submitted by chin chin on August 15, 2008 - 6:08pm.
Awww man... Chin Chin, everytime I see that picture I think he looks like Orlando Bloom. Don't ruin my tween fantasies about the Bloom by posting that picture! *cries*
Douche butter!!!
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Hi5.
Yeah...we should stop insulting women by referring to him as something a woman needs from time to time(everyday if your Paris) or a womans body part.
He's a dirty wad of penile cheese....
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Did ya'll catch MK's sick? Everyone is barfing!!
LCT,
Did you have something to do with this?
On topic: Doucheee
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by Cooch.Roue on August 15, 2008 - 5:31pm.
*Giggle* Someone said they were tired of hearing a word so now I'm going to say it ! Tee-hee!
Damn straight, cooch.douche! ;p
I hope Paris infects him....I hear she's on the loose again and hot to spread her disease around again. Awww..who am I kidding...he probably has 12 STD's already.
BARF
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
oh, and "the douche"'s outfit can be this-
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/10599/original.jpg
haha
-=meow hiss purr=-
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 15, 2008 - 6:01pm.
He's a walking scrotum pubic hair coated in smegma halfway to falling out in some chick's mouth.
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BARF.
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Hi5.
He has the body of a flaccid penis and the face of an anus and the voice of a strangulation victim.
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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
they should make a character in the batman movies, and the can call it "the douche". he can annoy the fuck out of batman , and try really hard to impress him. guess who can play the part? lol
-=meow hiss purr=-
Awww God is he going to post some lame-ass blog entry with totally obvious douchebaggery references to JA now or does he on;y do that while he's still dating them?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Oh Nova!
Douche butter!! Ewwww!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
thanks for the avie change coochy-coo! *mwah*
-=meow hiss purr=-
You know what, maybe I'm tired of calling John Mayer a 'douche'.
Can I call him a QUEEF instead?? I think 'queef' is suitable also...
Whatta fucktard!
(better that douche, though i like this one better)
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
there was this guy in my high school, and his real name was duschco, i think im gonna call oscar mayer this name from now on.
-=meow hiss purr=-
Dewsh.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 15, 2008 - 5:29pm.
That is an insult to vagina-owners everywhere. I think he's more like a walking scrotum or taint.
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He's a walking scrotum pubic hair coated in smegma halfway to falling out in some chick's mouth.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
*Giggle* Someone said they were tired of hearing a word so now I'm going to say it ! Tee-hee!
Barf.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
dont forget my favorite term....DOUCHENOZZLE!!!
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Submitted by Ella on August 15, 2008 - 5:27pm.
I wonder what stupid ho will fall for this douche next...
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Sienna "Walking STD" Miller
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.