Brangaloonie Enemy Number One
Every time someone speaks out against Brangelina's fuckery, I say a little prayer for them. They have no idea that they have just opened the door to a whole lot of crazy coming their way.
Roseanne took to her blog on Friday to attack Saint Angelina for not endorsing Barack Obama.
In a post titled "Jon Voight," Roseanne writes, "jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin')." Rosie, why don't you tell us how you really feel? Don't hold back!
Rosie went on to rant, "Also miss jolie says she likes mccain too and hasn't decided who to endorse....huh? Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party's worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa...??????!!!! (for that matter, the thai and vietnamese sons you are photo'd with weekly too!!!? who's pictures you sell to raise money to help the poor? Their families are victims of America's right wing military incursions too. Mccain wants to continue with the idea of war for profit...the americans are over that thinking now! They have drugged our troops and lower classes into supporting their oil business atrocities for long enough. We want to save not lose our souls thank you. Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death. Ps....it might be good for your asian and african children's self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.)"
Courtney Love, is that you? Seriously, why isn't this woman on "The View"?! Shit, why isn't she on every talk show on the planet! This is the kind of shit I like to hear.
That being said, Roseanne doesn't need the psychic wonder known as Becky #1 to tell her that she has a shit load of angry e-mails coming her way.
A lot of e-mails that say, "DEAR ROSIEANNE, DIE ALREDY! YOU ARE A JELIS LOOSER. BRANGELINA IS THE SUN, MOON AND STARS. U WISH U HAD THIER TALNET, BEATEY AND HART. I HATE U AND HOPE U GET HIT BY A PLANE!" Seriously, a Brangaloonie wrote me once and said they hope I get hit by a plane. A plane! That basically explains what makes up a Brangaloonie.
And something tells me Saint Angelina read Rosie's rant, picked up her golden phone, hit speed dial #1 and said, "God? It's me, Saint Angie. You know Roseanne Barr? Take care of it."
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Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 2:51pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 2:46pm.
But I live on the eleventh floor! I don't have time for the damn stairs, lol. He's always in the elevator because he has friends all over the building apparently. Since he talks to EVERYONE all the TIME, he's constantly up and down and up and down doing shit because he can't stay still. Weird kid. He makes me SO uncomfortable. He wears these glasses and they are always on the tip of his nose and he's trying desperately to look down and through them. Uh! It gives me the heebie jeebies just picturing it! *shakes*
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Ohhh..eleventh floor's a bitch! Damn, so you're pretty much screwed?
I also had another ex-bf who gave me the heebie jeebies like you're describing. Towards the end of our relationship I'd seriously get creeped out every time he laid a hand on me.
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by peaches on August 18, 2008 - 3:54pm.
Wait for James Haven's exclusive.
Roseanne is now an official angelina hater, troll. Roseanne was officially given the title by the craziest angelina fan of all time snowblood who posts on celebitchy. Anyone who posts on here is a loser, as far as the lunatics that post on celebitchy are concerned, the brangaloonies over there are psychopaths.
So D-listers do you think Angelina will respond? When it comes to plotical stuff, she might actually feel moved to respond to this. Probably not, But I honestly don't think Jon Voight will hold back!!! I'm sure he'll say something!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 3:51pm.
I think mine was caused by hittin' the ski slopes friday night. I guess I deserved it!
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Is that code for crack-smoking? I'm confused.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by VMDA78 on August 18, 2008 - 2:51pm.
Roseanne is now an offical angelina hater, troll. Roseanne was offically given the title by the craziest angelina fan of all time snowblood who posts on celebitchy. Anyone who posts on here is a loser, as far as the lunitics that post on celebitchy are concerned, the brangaloonies over there are psychopaths.
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I'm in a mood today...I think I might go over there and stir up the pot a little...
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 18, 2008 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 3:18pm.
Woo hoo! I had a floater today!
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DIDO! I caught some sort of bug over the weekend and I was super overheated, slightly nauseous and lightheaded and have had spongies since!
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I think mine was caused by hittin' the ski slopes friday night. I guess I deserved it!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 2:46pm.
But I live on the eleventh floor! I don't have time for the damn stairs, lol. He's always in the elevator because he has friends all over the building apparently. Since he talks to EVERYONE all the TIME, he's constantly up and down and up and down doing shit because he can't stay still. Weird kid. He makes me SO uncomfortable. He wears these glasses and they are always on the tip of his nose and he's trying desperately to look down and through them. Uh! It gives me the heebie jeebies just picturing it! *shakes*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by angel_i on August 18, 2008 - 11:24am.
In a post titled "Jon Voight," Roseanne writes, "jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin')."
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Dayum!!! Who knew that Roseanne Barr and I would have the EXACT same words rolling off our fingertips|? While I'm here - let me tell you why I hate YOU, Roseanne. You are ALWAYS saying things I agree with and then you go off and act like a fruitcake. You're like the PETA of entertainers!
ITA!! I was in total agreement with her in that first Paragraph, but then the voices in her schizo head took over!!!!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 18, 2008 - 2:36pm.
Your mom...
Nurse Mildred Ratched
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At your service, and always with an unnervingly calm smile... :)
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 2:32pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 2:27pm.
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I can understand your suspicions. I mean, what's he doing in the elevator all that time? My advice if you're dreading the inevitable: take the stairs! lol
I have an ex-bf who's got a fraternal twin brother who likes to just whip it out--he's like that guy from Seinfeld that Elaine was dating in that one episode. A friend of mine used to mess around with him. She told me he was over her apt. and she went to the bathroom, and when she came back he was sitting on her couch with his dog and beans flapping in the breeze!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
QueenCharisma, thank you for your siggie. I couldn't figure out why he always sounded so funny when he talked but I get it now.
He should take some lessons from Hugh Laurie.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on August 18, 2008 - 3:40pm.
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Thanks, Viva!!! Did you see my post to you in the Ellen thread? If you didn't, love your siggy! And now I need to bust out the Buffy DVDs again.....
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by missy on August 18, 2008 - 3:32pm.
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LOL.
I wanted to drop out so many times, but then I remembered that I'd have to go back home to live with my mom, so I kept my ass in school.
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Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 3:32pm.
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LOL @ super ADD. That poor kid.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
QC - congrats beesh! So happy for you. Knock em dead!
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The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho?
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 3:25pm.
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Thanks! :)
I'll break both legs and an arm for good measure.
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Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 18, 2008 - 3:27pm.
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Thanks, Mrs. K!
And no, I didn't get a chance to wow the director with that rousing rendition - I'll save it for my musical audition in September! :-)
Let's see these bitches try to beat that!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 3:18pm.
Woo hoo! I had a floater today!
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DIDO! I caught some sort of bug over the weekend and I was super overheated, slightly nauseous and lightheaded and have had spongies since!
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Oh and another thing, People better give Michael Phelps the cover this week! to give Brangelina and their twins the cover, and not give a full cover to Phelps, who actually accomplished something worth getting the cover, it would be Blasphemy!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Your mom...
Nurse Mildred Ratched
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Nervenzusammenbruch
Submitted by missy on August 18, 2008 - 3:14pm.
poo times!!
this weekend I had a poo so impressive I showed my bf. surrsley!
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Did you really? Was he impressed?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Here, you mom.
*stretches penis long, pops it back*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Stoney that story is hilarious! hahahaa!
Dont feel bad; youre being real :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 18, 2008 - 2:27pm.
Ok, this is so wrong, but I have a neighbor who has a grandson that lives with her. It's really hard to tell how old the kid is because he's like 6 feet tall but has the face of an eleven year old. He's in the elevator all the time and can't stand still. He rips the paint off the side of the elevator and asks you millions of questions in the span of 30 seconds. He's not retarded I don't think, and I've given it much though. I just think he's mildly autistic or has super ADD or something. Anyways, my point is, I'm always afriad the kid is on the verge of whipping out his weiner while talking to me. I'm totally petrified. He seems like a furious mastubator type. Poor kid!
*boards limo to hell*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 18, 2008 - 2:23pm.
awesome!! that sounds fun as hell!
*wishing I was back in college*
*remembering dropping out of college*
fuck!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Oh, and can i have my schlong back, please?
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Dude y'all, where's AJP today? That whore must be playing hooky.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 2:24pm.
Your mom, what did I say about pulling your penis out? Hmmmmm? What did Stoney say? Penises belong in the bathroom!
*yanks it and runs away*
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Sorry, I got a little excited. At least I didn't pee on your leg this time.
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Oh geez, of all the celebs to come out and bash Brangelina, it had to be this desparate has-been, who made fun of the national anthem!! I can't stand Brangelina as much as the next person, but Rosanne has publically stated she is a schitzophrenic, and it sounds like the voices inside her head dictated this rant, and saying that Angelina should support a brown person as president because of her adopted children, that is quite ignorant. And what the hell is she talking about that the republican party being responsible for Africa's problems. That just sounds wierd and crazy, and I don't think either the Republican or Democratic party has anything to do with that! She just makes no fuckin sense, period!! And I'm sure Brad and Angelina are really going to care what rosanne says. They're probably gonna laugh at her and make fat jokes about her for this! Geez can't a respectable celebrity who isn't schitzophrenic bash Brangelina, this shit just makes them look good!!! This is like John McCain giving Wonky Press again and temporarily reviving her career!!! Shut the fuck up, we want these media whores to go away, stop making them look good!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 18, 2008 - 12:23pm.
Off topic: I just got cast in my college's inaugural theater radio show today!!!
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CONGRATS QC!!!!
Did you sing "Can't help lovin' dat crackhead of mine" for the audition?????
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Nervenzusammenbruch
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 18, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Yeah, y'all just wait. I'm about to get the internets back at home!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 18, 2008 - 2:23pm.
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Congratulations, and break a leg!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 11:31am.
Are you insinuating I'm on dlisted too much? LOL. I totally accept that.
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there is no such thing as being on dlisted too much.
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Nervenzusammenbruch
Your mom, what did I say about pulling your penis out? Hmmmmm? What did Stoney say? Penises belong in the bathroom!
*yanks it and runs away*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Off topic: I just got cast in my college's inaugural theater radio show today!!! Yay me! I'm so excited - I thought I blew my audition yesterday. The show's going to be super offensive/racy and I can't wait for this shit to debut! :)
Ok, carry on with the poo talk ;)
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Well, if you guys are doing the Snoopy dance, I'm gonna pull out my little boing boing instrument just like the one Snoopy likes to play...
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Clarisse on August 18, 2008 - 3:18pm
Good Grief, poor Woodstock.
RIP Charles Schultz, you still make us smile.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
I just had hangover poo times. I feel much better now.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
poopy times rolling into snoopy times? loving it.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by missy on August 18, 2008 - 2:14pm.
poo times!!
this weekend I had a poo so impressive I showed my bf. surrsley!
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Woo hoo! I had a floater today!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Bradi!!
NO! Woodstock is not in the snoopy dance!!!
I call Speciesism!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjwfSbIJ2eU
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Viva!
I am absolutely sitting at my desk doing the head thing!!!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Viva La Lohan on August 18, 2008 - 3:12pm
I do not like the POOlitic chat times.
POOliticians are mouth poopers that make poop crop circles in their fields of poop.
POOP it and they will come.
Did Woodstock have a happy dance?
I ♥ Woodstock.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Nice one carrot! Rotten mayo steak! I think I saw that on rachelray.com.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
poo times!!
this weekend I had a poo so impressive I showed my bf. surrsley!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Clarisse, that vid was great. I felt like I was just a baby again, almost kicked my chair out from under me and really started dancin'
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The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho?
LOVE CARROTTOP
He also gains or loses an accent of sorts depending who he is making his speech to. I can't stand that shit. But it is comical.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 18, 2008 - 12:06pm.
*peeks back in, hears Kumbaya, goes back to grab marshmallows and Hershey bars and graham crackers*
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oh yes, we are doing the snoopy dance to the tune of Kumbaya. Join us. And if you must, throw in a few poo terms too, anything to lighten the mood up in this piece. There is enough anger and sadness and dissent without us polluting the air with a little more.
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The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho?
*sticks head in*
Hey! I heard some poo talk comin' from this direction!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Stoney on August 18, 2008 - 3:09pm.
I bet Rosie's got big poo times.
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That smell a bit like an old steak covered in warm mayo with the colour of road tar.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Stoney
Right?? Oh well, that which does not kill us.........No time to feel sorry for myself got to make the monaaaaayyyy!
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!