Michael Phelps Just Got $100 Million Hotter
On Saturday night, Michael Phelps became the greatest human being that ever lived after he won his 10 millionth Olympic gold medal or something like that. Saint Angelina even bowed down to him for a quick second. Anybutterface, Michael's 8 gold medals could earn him up to $100 million in endorsement deals. WTF? For splashing around in a pool?!
Michael's agent spoke to the Wall Street Journal and right after he finished wiping the drool from his greedy mouth, he said, "What is the value of eight golds in Beijing before a prime-time audience in the US? I'd say 100 million dollars over the course of his lifetime." His agent said that he's been getting around 50 offers a day. 49 of those are offers from cougars and gay dudes who want to do the body butterfly with him on their waterbeds. You know who you are....MOM!
Michael already has deals with Speedo, Hilton and Omega. One industry expert said that if he leaves Speedo, Nike could pay him up to $50 million. Bitch better get that money! And once he gets it, he better build Debbie Phelps a crystal palace, because she deserves it! That woman is a diamond.
AND! Michael Phelps has already reached Chuck Norris levels of awesomeness. Someone started a website full of "Michael Phelps Facts." Here are some of my favorites:
Water drinks Michael Phelps.Every time you see a shooting star you are really watching Michael Phelps train in space.
If you look into the eye of a hurricane you will see Michael Phelps swimming.
Sure Jesus walked on water, but Michael Phelps swims through land.
Newborn dolphins learn to swim by watching footage of Michael Phelps.
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Looks like the Olympic Rings symbol - alot of athletes have it.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 18, 2008 - 6:37pm.
Hey guess what Michael Phelps?
In about a month, you will be a nobody again. :) Congratulations!
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And you, FatMartha, are also a nobody. Except you are a nobody who doesn't have 16 Olympic medals (14 of them gold). So congrats to you, too!!!
Submitted by Ma Nom on August 18, 2008 - 7:44pm.
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I don't think 31 qualifies. I think you'd need to be 40.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
Sorry, I just can't get turned on by peen that's not being displayed specifically for moi. And as far as I know, Phelps doesn't even know moi exists.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
hey?!? is that a tattoo on his right hip?!? yes I was looking at his hip!!! the hip, bitches.
ps that suit is totally ghey!!
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how YOU doin'?
how on earth did mr dlisted resist a peepee comment?
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The McCanns Did It
He's a cutie alright. What's with those tights? You can see his ahem, stuff. I guess that probably has a lot to do with his offers.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 18, 2008 - 8:50pm.
Ummmm....... sure? I get the feeling you enjoy his inverted mushroom.
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Not I. I am married. *slinking off* Besides, he's JB!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
He'll probably get another 200 million for selling his gold medal winning sperm.
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Submitted by M.E. on August 18, 2008 - 5:05pm.
Kdraco -iHeart -and you others.
Good Night!
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Nighters M.E., sorry I missed ya girl! Xo
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 18, 2008 - 8:48pm.
Dunno but that's one helluva a trouser mouse up in there! I'd eyeball it! Okay, I'd do a lot more than that but since this is a family blog and all (cough cough), I'll refrain.
Was that convincing?
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Ummmm....... sure? I get the feeling you enjoy his inverted mushroom.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 18, 2008 - 8:36pm.
Eeeevening! I agree, what exactly IS that? One giant banana hammock?
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Dunno but that's one helluva a trouser mouse up in there! I'd eyeball it! Okay, I'd do a lot more than that but since this is a family blog and all (cough cough), I'll refrain.
Was that convincing?
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
heee can't be a butterface cause hes a guy. fergieee is a butterface because everythings great butter face. i refer to guys as bobfocs. body off bay watch face off crimewatch :)
sayonara, i bought him a budweiser and i'm going to hang out with him next time i'm in town. HA. but it's not about that, his voice is the most amazing thing i have ever heard.
www.myspace.com/justinpaullewis
listen to dream a little dream of me....amazing
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Submitted by Uwish on June 4, 2008 - 11:40pm.
You know me already. I am actually LOVE ANGELINA. I am sure you have seen around before.
(posted on this page: http://dlisted.com/node/26370#comment
Submitted by paris herpes on August 18, 2008 - 8:37pm.
I wonder how big this douche's peen is...hmmm...6-7 inches? Flaccid or erect?
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4 hard. Tops. Why else would he feel the need to display it as he does.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
I wonder how big this douche's peen is...hmmm...6-7 inches? Flaccid or erect?
Your face!
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 18, 2008 - 8:10pm.
That bathing suit (?) is ghey.
Good evening, chilluns!
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Eeeevening! I agree, what exactly IS that? One giant banana hammock?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by Ma Nom on August 18, 2008 - 7:44pm.
mk brought it up so i'm gonna ask you guys!
at what point do you become a cougar? i got hit on by a 21 year old and i'm 31 and it felt weird and i kept telling my friends i felt like a cougar but they said i didn't qualify yet. what do you guys think?
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So uh what happened?!
Darth Vader wore a raspberry beret
Well... Apparently USA doping development has scored! *Bowing down*
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Raise against $cientology - monthly worldwide protests - Also in your city.
http://forums.enturbulation.org/157-august-16th-global-protest/
Wait a minute, he has an endorsement deal with Hilton? Is he teaching the crabs to swim or helping Paris learn to use the size 14s as flippers?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on August 18, 2008 - 8:20pm.
THANKY-YOU! I thought I was questionin' my sexayality being REPULSED by that pic, but there's just some peens you don't need to see. I mean, bitches get hell for the camel toe, but I'm sorry, that MP encased sausage is SOOOOOOO NOT HOT, and possibly WORSE than a camel toe...(howevs, if MP were say, Christian Bale...then, HOTNESS ALERT! but that ain't the case...)He a butterface and a butterpeen (as long as he's displaying the butterface...)...Ugh. Just no. Some people need to be asexual neutered people. He's one of them.
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Hahaha, butterpeen. And I bet he was doing it as a favour for the ladies. Nice try, pedo.
Either neutered, or forced to wear a diaper. ALL THE TIME.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
he needs to be wearing some Spanx undies
under that lame suit.
his phelpage pointing north does nothing
for me despite with his arms,he's indicating
how big his ego will be getting over the
next few weeks.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 18, 2008 - 7:06pm.
Normally a picture of a visible peen (ahem RAMSAY ahem) would make me need alone time, but with this, I just feel like I'm being flashed by a pedo in a trenchcoat.
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THANKY-YOU! I thought I was questionin' my sexayality being REPULSED by that pic, but there's just some peens you don't need to see. I mean, bitches get hell for the camel toe, but I'm sorry, that MP encased sausage is SOOOOOOO NOT HOT, and possibly WORSE than a camel toe...(howevs, if MP were say, Christian Bale...then, HOTNESS ALERT! but that ain't the case...)He a butterface and a butterpeen (as long as he's displaying the butterface...)...Ugh. Just no. Some people need to be asexual neutered people. He's one of them.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
damn I want him even more now i didn't even think that was possible
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
That bathing suit (?) is ghey.
Good evening, chilluns!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Normally a picture of a visible peen (ahem RAMSAY ahem) would make me need alone time, but with this, I just feel like I'm being flashed by a pedo in a trenchcoat.
"Check out THIS Olympic-sized medal baybeeeeeee."
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
LOL! It totally looks like he's saying:
THIS is my penis!
OR
I want my penis to be THIS big!
Sexay.
This guy is a firecracker. I hope he doesn't give himself a heart attack out there!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by Ma Nom on August 18, 2008 - 7:44pm.
Good question, I went to urban dictionary to see what they said. One of the entries says 35+, so I think your safe. Personally, I'm not a fan of the term 'cougar'. Makes me think of White Oprah.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar
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Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
The safe word is "Thorpe"...i'd hit it...damn straight!!!!!
Somewhere in France, someone named Smangelina Schmolie is furtively speed dialing her hit man, because the media spotlight has been deflected...
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
mk brought it up so i'm gonna ask you guys!
at what point do you become a cougar? i got hit on by a 21 year old and i'm 31 and it felt weird and i kept telling my friends i felt like a cougar but they said i didn't qualify yet. what do you guys think?
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Submitted by Uwish on June 4, 2008 - 11:40pm.
You know me already. I am actually LOVE ANGELINA. I am sure you have seen around before.
(posted on this page: http://dlisted.com/node/26370#comment
He should TOTALLY replace Fabio as the "I Can't Believe It's not Butter....(face)" ad campaign...Yeah, they will have to voice-over the "face" part of the commercial cuz MP won't go for it (he's probably getting laid left and right,so has no idea he's a butterface), but the general public knows he's a butterface, and the ad would sell...so, just a subtle "face" in there, and, GOLD!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Yay Phelps!!! Good for him racking in the money. I hope he invests it well.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Kizzy on August 18, 2008 - 6:10pm
I remember being traumatized by that when I was a teenager...some old guy in too short shorts came into where I worked and I could see it flopping around...nastiness.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
I said it before and I'll say it again...
His left palm is RED. I find that strange.
Oh...and I see PEEN. lol
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
He could be a grower.
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People Suck!
that suit! that schlong! that chin!
it's michael phelps!!
He's quite a "package" deal.
Love the Jesusesque-curcifix pose.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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With all that money you would think he could afford a cup to put his junk in...
Lovers keep on the road you're on...
Runners until the race is run...
Soldiers you've got to soldier on...
100M for that butterface with big ears? A week after the Olympics, the only people who'll care are his groupies, and I doubt that those tweens will be able to afford whatever shit he's selling.
Save that cash for somebody more likeable and doable.
It looks like he might have some nice equipment - and I am not talking goggles and cap...
OMG that list is hilarious!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
I love how all the jealous ignorant posters react to things like this or other famous people who are in the midst of good times. It seems like y'all love to see people miserable.
Boyo there is no more on steroids than I am. He doesn't look a damn thing like he's on steroids, he pees in a cup directly after every race, and he's donated blood and other samples for future testing as tests grow more sophisticated.
If being blessed with disproportionately long arms is being "doped up," I guess he's doped up, but for now, I think I know where all the dopes are.
It's no worse than wrestling tights, or the track n field gear. I'm always distracted by the the guys' junk just jangling away, bouncing from leg to leg.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
One last post....he's got Dumbo ears.
He looks so much better when he is making that "I took a ten inch pee pee in my bum"(no lube)face.
Well Track a Ghost Through The Fog, Baby... Oh you try hard but you'll never catch me... Yeah Yeah
Good night M.E.!
xoxo
Kdraco -iHeart -and you others.
Good Night!
He is not very easy on the eyes, BUT! Swimmers bodies...OMG! So sleek, lean...those lats. OMG! Love swimmers bodies.
nice peen..........