JLo Doesn't Get It
JLo was on "Good Morning America" yesterday to talk about how she's training for the 22nd Annual Malibu Triathlon. Some nosy bitch on the set of the morning show told MSNBC's The Scoop that JLo just doesn't understand why everyone is talking about "that swimmer" and not about her!
The nosy bitch went on to say, “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ”
JLo is fucking right! Michael Phelps is known for being a superhuman who pretty much conquered the impossible, and JLo is known for being a former Fly Girl with a fat ass. Our priorities are all fucked up! JLo should be the one getting all the attention. Shame on us! And shame on NBC for devoting hours and hours to Phelps instead of JLo. Shit, Debbie Phelps shouldn't be in Beijing! She should be in Malibu, preparing to cheer on JLo! We all should.
There's just one little problem though. I don't think any of us really give a fuck about JLo!
Thanks Jill
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okay. here goes...keep in mind this was back in 2001 so most of her bitchiness/divalicious ways were not that well known, so we didn't know what we were getting into!
first, when her plane landed on the base runway she made someone (I believe it was hubby #1 Judd?) PICK her up and CARRY (no small feat i am sure) her fat ass over a small patch of grass and put her down on the tarmac...
we had her billeted in General Officer's Quarters (the NICEST rooms on a base, very elegant, reserved only for Generals - hence the name) and she walked in and basically bitched that the place was a shithole and demanded even more pillows, different bottled water (we were in Germany...there were only so many options available to us, and we got her the best but it was not good enough for her!)
she was supposed to fly in a C-130 (a cargo airplane) with the squadron my husband was assigned to...well, she talked big about how excited she was to go up and fly with the troops and see everything. About two seconds after she stepped into the cockpit and looked around the plane she pussied out. The plane was just not lavish enough (no shit...our guys are flying airplanes built in the 1960s that have been frankensteined together and it is good enough to send them to war in them, but not good enough for her to fly around germany and sight-see!) Oh - and Carson Daly was with her and he DID fly! As much of a tool as he is...he gets points for not being a loser like J-Ho.
And finally...she was there with Kid Rock and oh, crap...i can't remember his name...hip-hop guy...i will think of it later...and they were there to judge a local air force talent competition and then to put on a free show for the troops...so she gets to the talent competition and says to her PR/agent guy "oh, this shit is horrible, I am outta here..." and he basically told her if she left and didnt stay to judge it would be BAD BAD BAD for her career...so she let out a huge "ugh" and sat her fat ass down to judge.
Now, I am not much of a kid rock fan, but i will say by all accounts he was so supportive of the air force and the troops in general. He even gave away one of his own guitars to the winner of our little talent contest...signed it too. I am sure that meant the world to the young man stationed in Germany, half a world away from his family.
He signed tons of stuff (guitars and pics etc) that the troops brought to him...a TRUE morale booster.
Bottom (pun intended)line...she SUCKS and I hate her fat ass.
peaches, I'll second that! They better have a big huge cover article on him! Definitely more entitled than babies whose only claim to fame is being spawned from the gametes of celebs.
My list:
1.Kristen Bell
2.Eric Bana
3.Rachael McAdams
4.Liam Neeson
5.Maria Bello
6.Uma Thurman
7.Johnny Depp
8.Paul Walker
9.Jodie Foster
10.Meryl Streep
Honorable Mention:
Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, William H. Macy, Kerri Russell
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by peaches on August 19, 2008 - 9:34am.
Me and Johnny D, we is like two peas in a pod
VIVA LA FRANCE!
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LoLo come back--
You can blame it all on me
I was wrong
And I just can't live without you!♫
jennifer lopez is a dumb bitch
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 12:27pm.
Submitted by peaches on August 19, 2008 - 9:16am.
I certainly like him, but I think he once said how he doesn't like america and France is better,
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Well, they do have good cheese and stuff like that.
yes the food there is awesome! I didn't find it offensive, but other people seemed to. I mean, at least he actually has lived in both places, and has an opinion based on his actual personal experience, he's certainly not a hypocrite!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I pray Michael Phelps gets the main cover picture of People this week! If he just gets one of those small side pictures when Brangelina got a whole cover to themself, It would be Blasphemy!!! And If he gets the full cover, watch how it outsells the Brangelina's twins by a hell of a lot!!! Angelina will get a Michael Phelps Voodoo Doll!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by peaches on August 19, 2008 - 9:16am.
I certainly like him, but I think he once said how he doesn't like america and France is better,
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Well, they do have good cheese and stuff like that.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
LoLo come back--
You can blame it all on me
I was wrong
And I just can't live without you!♫
Bjork you, you don't get a reputation like this for nothing. And she's been reputed as a huge bitch for years.
Plus a lot of totally overentitled, overestimated, overinflated celebs HAAAAAATTTEEEEE "ordinary people" who get any attention. They see it as being THEIR attention and they don't want glam-free people who made it thru bravery and/or skill/hard work to be recognized for it.
Remember Charlotte Big-As-A-Church whining about all the attention firefighters got after 9-11, and implying that they didn't deserve it while SHE did?
So yeah, I totally believe she hates "that swimmer" for being one of the biggest people in America right now. She probably is planning a big now-I've-had-the-kids-back-to-my-sexy-career "cumbak" and this triathlon is the first step.
Oh, and Phelps' mom could easily outrun and outswim this walking ass. You know JeLo has nude male slaves carry her on a litter at all times, so anybody could outdo her.
Submitted by M.E. on August 19, 2008 - 11:58am.
Peaches - Johnny Depp needs to be at the top of that list.
kkthanksbai!
I certainly like him, but I think he once said how he doesn't like america and France is better, I don't have a problem with that, but other people did, though he did apologize. But the fact that he said something to actually annoy anyone at all makes him lose the #1 slot, but he definatly makes the top 10. It should be people who doen't say things that may offend the public ever, or haven't done it often. I'm trying to think of people who don't make any political statements. I'd put Paul Walker on the list, but certainly not #1 either, because there are people annoyed by him that think he's just a good looking guy who can't act.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by Stoney on August 20, 2008 - 1:08am.
Jack Black? Really? Can't stand that fucker.
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TimTams Rule!
This skeever is doing the Triathalon, ONLY because Katie Holmes ran the New York City Marathon not all that long after having her daughter. This skank bitch takes everyone else's triumphs and then goes i'm a gonna do it too. I wish she'd just fall on her big fat no talent ass. I hate Lopez, the only thing she ever did that was not completely barfable, was Selena, and then of course she totally ripped off the poor dead girls life, and let me just say that you really had to be a fan of Selena to sit through that movie, Lowpass was pretty bad in it. Keep trying Jeeny from the blockhead, eventually you'll have an original thought or idea, oh and by the way noone cares about you or your douche husband. Hello does he still have a career or is it just being her bitch.
Submitted by Bjork You on August 19, 2008 - 11:03am.
Come on, do you really believe this story. Delicious, yet, but true, I'm not so sure.
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I dunno...I've heard for years that she's a hellion on wheels from several different sources.
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Stoney's top ten list of least annoying celebrities:
Charlize Theron
Clint Eastwood
Keri Russell
Rainn Wilson
Morgan Freeman
Mandy Moore
Leonardo DiCaprio
Jaime Pressly
Gennifer Goodwin
Jack Black
Oh yes, and Johnny Depp
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
UGH just crawl into Skeletor's crypt and SHUDDUP, you fur-shilling sweatshop-goods-whoring trick!
Come on, do you really believe this story. Delicious, yet, but true, I'm not so sure.
Submitted by cinnamongirl on August 19, 2008 - 10:55am.
I am a former Air Force officer and was stationed at Ramstein AB when she came through on a "troop morale visit" shortly after 9/11. I knew the Protocol Officer in charge of her visit...and she told me HORROR stories about J-Ho. She SUCKS.
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No lurking! Dish the dirt! Please?
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Peaches - Johnny Depp needs to be at the top of that list.
kkthanksbai!
Submitted by cinnamongirl on August 19, 2008 - 8:55am.
so TELL, TELL...we WANT the horror stories!
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I'll idealize, and realize that it's no sacrifice because the price is paid;
And there's nothing left to grieve..... Fuckin' go-
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
PSL - hey bitch!
JfatassLo, needs to get over herself. She is comparing her fat ass competing in a triathalon to Phelps?
Pfffft. Please. Her Jabba the Hut ass barreling through Malibu will probably set off the San Andreas Fault, in which might mark the biggest earthquake California has ever seen.
That is the only history this bitch can make.
Uhm, maybe she should try staying home and being a PARENT to the babies she wanted so badly that she went and had IVF to get them! Oh wait, that would mean she'd be out of the headlines. Two-bit, egomaniacal, talentless fucktard.
Sorry - usually I am just a lurker but had to comment here. I am a former Air Force officer and was stationed at Ramstein AB when she came through on a "troop morale visit" shortly after 9/11. I knew the Protocol Officer in charge of her visit...and she told me HORROR stories about J-Ho. She SUCKS.
Okay...back to lurking...thanks for letting me rant!
Submitted by M.E. on August 19, 2008 - 11:21am.
What a self absorbed cunt.
God I hate celebrities.
hahaah! that reminds me, I thought we should all try and put together a top ten list of least offensive celebrities, because it would be a miricle if there actually are even five! the only one I can really think of is Kristen Bell.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on August 19, 2008 - 8:42am.
YES!!
Then I could die a happy woman.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Nervenzusammenbruch
Submitted by chin chin on August 19, 2008 - 11:42am.
Submitted by peaches on August 19, 2008 - 11:39am.
wow, this made me tear a lil' *sniff*
Awwww!! hahaha!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Wouldn't you like to put the business end of a freshly sharpened No.2 pencil into J.Lo's ear and then hit the eraser end with a hammer? Maybe then she'd get the point no one gives a fuck about her has-been ass.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
It's self-rightous Douchbags like this that make me thrilled right now that the media is fawning over Michael Phelps. The truth is, those Gold Medals aren't as self-serving as people may think! Remember he is not there to represent himself, he is there to represent team USA, represent all of us and our country. It's alot like the '80 winter olympics USA Hockey team, when they beat the USSR and went on to win the Gold. Just like now, our country was in the gutter, and that win lifted people's spirits up, it made us all feel proud again. That's what Phelps win represents now! Unlike Jlo, he seems more identifiable to the rest of us, someone we actually want to see succeed! The medals are not all about him, they are for all of us! Jlo's triathalon is completly about herself! So if the media giving him attention means we all get a much deserved break from USELESS, overexposed celebrity ASSHOLES like Jlo and Brangelina, than bring on more Phelps, I say!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by peaches on August 19, 2008 - 11:39am.
wow, this made me tear a lil' *sniff*
-=meow hiss purr=-
I am in the mood to cuttabeesch today and I think I know who that beesch is gonna be.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Nervenzusammenbruch
I completely believe this story. See, that's why her ass is so big... her head is in there.
What a delusional bitch. I hope she has a stroke.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Michael Phelps created history on sunday and will forever be remembered as the first person to win 8 olympics gold medals at a single olympic games jlo needs to get the fuck over herself cause nobody gonna remember who this fat ass bitch is in ten years
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
J-LOser is on the cover of Self Magazine this month, which basically means it should be re-named to Selfish Magazine. She's on the editor's page blabbing about her big triatHOlan bs and how inspirational she is, blah blah.
What is great is that the editor actually HAS done a triathalon, but she ain't nothing worth writing about because she didn't do it with two babies, mink eyelashes, platinum hoops, and 1/2 sprayed-on concealer.
I can't wait until she starts attempting to train and this story disappears mysteriously.
wow
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
M.E., don't be so fucking mean....:)
heehee.....love you bitch!
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I'll idealize, and realize that it's no sacrifice because the price is paid;
And there's nothing left to grieve..... Fuckin' go-
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
What a self absorbed cunt.
God I hate celebrities.
The three events in J-Lo's triathalon should be 1) shutting up, 2) going away, and 3) being grateful for somehow becoming wealthy with questionable looks and absent talent.
She was a fad who lasted longer than she should have. People's tastes have moved on to the next crop of large-bottomed, pitchy-singing, nails-on-the-chalkboard acting she-skanks, and she should just be happy she walked away with her bank account intact and a punishment limited to her face and the face of her munchkin husband.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
She seriously thinks she can be ready for a triathalon when they had to fucking tie her fat ass into her dress at that last photo shoot?? She's smoking some better shit than me if she thinks she can pull this off. HA!
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
I bet JLo dumps Skeletor and sets her talons on Phelps.
Since her music career is OVER and her so-called acting career never existed she can cross over to the athletic dept. If not Phelps, how about Tom Brady or some other desperate media loving jock.
Hilarious. I can hear her saying that in her whiny puerta rican accent.
Rl and Sensimina Word! ;)****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"
C Word, Debbie Phelps doesn't need to do any training to kick JLo's ass. She can do it right now ... because she's Michael Phelps' mother.
I wish someone on GMA had called out this bitch on the air and told her, "Nobody gives a good goddamn about your inflated ass OR ego, JLo. Now go file for bankruptcy."
I would have dragged her ass right back on camera the minute she mentioned "that swimmer."
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
When Jello opens her mouth an says stupid shit like this, i could seriously strangle her with her hoops...
**** "I Love Lamp" ****
Submitted by Salem13 on August 19, 2008 - 10:27am.
She should send some taco flavored kisses to Phelps.
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Word, cholo. Taco taco, burrito burrito!
SUPER DOUCHE!
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Just don't feed the gayelles! They eat enough of each other.---MK 8/5/2008
Who wants to bet she loses interest in this whole triathalon and suffers a sprained ankle or some such bullshit to get out of it?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by Salem13 on August 19, 2008 - 9:27am.
She should send some taco flavored kisses to Phelps.
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♫Oh Phelps, you are so perfect,
So spectacular in every way
You light up my life
You almost make me forget all about
Tacos!♫
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
I usually don't believe gossip, but I believe this crap. She's a has been.That's why Viv and Knox got more money than Emme and Max,for their People spread! I wish she'd go away gracefully.
Hahahha Pernicious! Then she should challenge him to carry twins!
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I'll idealize, and realize that it's no sacrifice because the price is paid;
And there's nothing left to grieve..... Fuckin' go-
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
Submitted by Jinxy McDeath on August 19, 2008 - 10:11am.
J.Lo has given me too many reasons to hate her...despite my previous worshiping her as a flygirl (I used to be a dancer). _________________________________________________
She was great as a flygirl and few other things, but that's about it.
Darth Vader wore a raspberry beret