Even Board Games Get Remade
Every so often I notice that Hasbro updates "Clue" and other games by changing the look of a character or even adding new bitches temporarily. Do you remember that slut Miss Peach? She was always my favorite. Well, Hasbro has gone way too far this time. They have pretty much remade "Clue."
The characters have now been given first names, made younger and their bios have changed. Basically, Hasbro is trying to get kids to buy this shit.
Miss Scarlet is now Kasandra Scarlet, a famous actress and stupid slut. Mr. Green is now Jacob Green, a mysterious and well connected African-American dude. Colonel Mustard is Jack Mustard, a former football playing douche. Professor Plum is Victor Plum, a billionaire video game designer.
Mrs. Peacock is Eleanor Peacock and Mrs. White is Diane White. You just know Diane White is probably an "executive assistant" instead of a maid.
Each character also has some kind of "special power" to help players discover clues faster. Whatever the fuck that means. I hope by "special power," they mean a bottle of vodka. That's the only way to get me excited about this fuckery.
The pipe, gun and wrench have been dropped and replaced with a pistol, ax, baseball bat, dumbbell, trophy and poison. Dumbbell?! At least replace that shit with things that make sense. Like Parasite Hilton's vagina, a car driven by Brit Brit and one of Wino's crack pipes.
They have also added new rooms including a theater, spa and guest house.
The new shit version goes on sale this Fall. Your ass better run out and get the old one before this shit hits stores.
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I Thought That Was 'Catherine Zeta Jones' On The Box Then! Lv x
They also fucked up Hi Ho Cherry-O. (I know, it's a ready-made joke of a name.) When I was a little kid, it had vertical plastic trees with places to hang the cherries from. Now the trees are painted flat on the playing board. Lame! And they only include about four cherries per person. Another classic game ruined!
http://www.hasbro.com/default.cfm?page=browse&product_id=8623
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on August 19, 2008 - 5:16pm.
Somewhere, perhaps up in the attic, my circa 1977 Clue game lies gathering dust.
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E-bay gold now.
why not just turnit into an xbox game, call Clue San Andreas, and call it a day?
This is just wrong. I loved the Sorry! game more though.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
wow slow news day
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
Somewhere, perhaps up in the attic, my circa 1977 Clue game lies gathering dust.
And why the fuck is Rebecca Gayheart on the cover?
Fuckin' fuckers!!!
They re-made LIFE too.....IT TOTALLY SUCKS!
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Aww, that's no way to treat a classic.
Thanks for raping my childhood once again.
"The pipe, gun and wrench have been dropped and replaced with a pistol, ax, baseball bat, dumbbell, trophy and poison. Dumbbell?! At least replace that shit with things that make sense. Like Parasite Hilton's vagina, a car driven by Brit Brit and one of Wino's crack pipes."
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So true.
I HATE when companies pull this kind of shit. Like the original designers were just SOOO out of touch and they think they are so clever and enlightened. As if nothing old could ever be good or interesting enough. There are some things that are just timeless, period.
I'm wondering if Miss Peacock is now a bird dressed in a Parisite Hilton outfit.
________________________
Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Yeah, they redid the graphics for my all-time favorite, Candy Land. They changed some of the characters and the graphics are incredibly ugly and cheap-looking. I guess they're appealing to the trailer people or something.
As usual, they took something treasured and beloved and FUCKED WITH IT AND MADE IT CHEAP AND UGLY.
This is lame, I'm glad I have the old version.
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It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
"They have also added new rooms including a theater, spa and guest house."
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Michael K, I was waiting for you to say basement sex dungeon or some crap like that.
Blasphemy!! As a kid my friends and I had so much fun making up fake first names for all the characters, its no fun when they give them to you.
YOU COULD TAKE THAT DUDE FROM PUERTO RICO AND 'STAND' HIM NEXT TO THE GAME AND I BET HE WILL NEVER BEAT YOU!!
I would like to "remake" the powers-that-be at Hasbro over with a pipe, in the library. Heresy!!
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Um, MK, Miss Scarlett is now Phoebe Price!
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"Blame it on the London air!"