Beer Whore
Beer-loving tranny alert! Since Jessica Simpson is so fucking country now, she's decided to be the spokeswhore for a Dallas-based beer called Stampede Light Plus. By the looks of their ad, Stampede is trying to cater to country tranny porn stars with swollen pussy lips. FUG!
Not only will the big-tittied frog appear in ads for the beer, but she will also take 15% stake in the company. Oh, Stampede Light just fucked up by announcing that little tidbit of info. It that doesn't scream "Boycott Stampede Light," I don't know what does.
Stampede Light is apparently filled with vitamins to support an active lifestyle. Beer with vitamins? No fucking thanks. I'll stick with getting my daily dose of vitamins from a glass of Sunny D, thank you very much.
Jessica released a statement, but I'm pretty sure she didn't write this shit. "As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people. Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while." Diversify her portfolio? She can't even say portfolio.
I wish someone would stampede all over that bitch's face. And no, I don't mean you Papa Joe. Pull your pants up.
ShareThis
I'm sorry - I just can't get over her face.
She looks like she just gave up.
But it's so fucking funny, somehow. LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Her expression in that picture makes me want to punch her in the face. See, if she didn't try to look sexy she wouldn't get so much unwarranted abuse from others. I hope she gets drunk on this shit and ends up hugging the toilet with her long hair running down her face and mouth as she vomits.
Your face!
Smart and Jessica Simpson on the same sentence? I don't think so
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Submitted by snowpiece on August 20, 2008 - 4:26pm.
LCT who is in your avie now ???
-------------
Same dude, Gerald Butler, cunnilingus tongue times and all.
-------------------
Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
LCT who is in your avie now ???****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"
I hope she gets drunk off of it and line dances into oncoming traffic. Stupid skank...
Crapface is the new Crapface
Everyone should be saying..."Jessica who???"
I wonder how Stampede beer tastes--I'm guessing like warm pee, your sister's poon, and redneck sweat.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by angel_i on August 20, 2008 - 4:14pm.
It should say:
Sure. I struggle with my weight - we've all seen it. I like fried chicken and I like to drank beer. Since my career is obviously going to tank before I'm 35, I figure if I sponsor these sumbitches I can get my lite beers for free. I need lite beers - I have a tendency to get chubby. Don't you? Choose Stampede Light Plus.
*****
BWAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Isn't that Smart Water's slogan? You'd think they'd be able to come up with a better one. Oh, wait. considering who they chose to endorse them, nevermind.
Honestly, her blow up doll lips are what gave it away for me. I didn't recognize her especially with her light as light eyes. I thought they were dark brown.
As for her portfolio, she just has a bunch of drawings in it of all the things that sound one way but mean another to her....Chicken of the Sea...Buffalo Wings....12 Ounce Pound Cake...Female Sperm Whale....and Beer Nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
@Mrs. K!
O! You quoted me! SmOOches!
I really DO sound like a chola now! I'm so proud!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 20, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Wait--that's not a Real Doll?
____________________________
LMFAO!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by snowpiece on August 20, 2008 - 4:10pm.
how would you describe her expression?
-------------------
"I think the piece of straw rammed into my butthole has made me bleed."
-------------------
Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
KD,
Thanks! Yeh, fingers crossed that he gains the weight back...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Wait--that's not a Real Doll?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
I love crazy Susie!!
Doesn't even look like her. The only way I kinda guessed right is the square chin.
Mr. Hekki is gonna be pissed. He's been talking about vita-beer since I met him. (He does love his beer!)
It should say:
Sure. I struggle with my weight - we've all seen it. I like fried chicken and I like to drank beer. Since my career is obviously going to tank before I'm 35, I figure if I sponsor these sumbitches I can get my lite beers for free. I need lite beers - I have a tendency to get chubby. Don't you? Choose Stampede Light Plus.
Didn't there used to be some kinda "truth in advertising" saying some people used to say...?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by KD on August 20, 2008 - 2:12pm.
I've seen corpses with smarter looking expressions than hers.
~~~~~~
Yeah even angel the gangsta had the 'Sup face.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
I hate her. Stupid, talentless, dumb as a box o rocks skank.
That said, I have to say it's a good thing adding vitamins to the beer. It sounds stupid but 90% (or something) of the brain damage long term drunks suffer from is caused by vitamin deficiencies. I think at one time they tried to force the makers of Night Train to do this but they didn't want to spend the dough.
Now if a drunk wants to destroy his brain that's his business...until he is unable to take care of himself and our tax dollars support him as he drools to death in some state institution.
Then I'm not happy.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 20, 2008 - 1:08pm.
IG, your avie is making me think of "The Doll" episode on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (one of my favs)!
Anyone else?
````````````````````````
I LOVE SUSIE GREEN!!!!
In fact I think they based her character on me.
"Jeffrey, ya fat fuck"
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
When you bait us, we attack. It's our fucking job.
angel_i~~8/20/08
Submitted by DeeDee on August 20, 2008 - 4:11pm.
------------------------------------------------
It's just that we're always saying the same things!
*cues theme from Twilight Zone*
**************************************
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
I've seen corpses with smarter looking expressions than hers.
I didn't think she could look any more retarded than she already does. That big ol' fly trap is open as usual, but the thing that's bothering me is that her nasty ass tongue looks like it's about to roll out of there. And of course her lovely eyes say that she's got the IQ of a monkey turd. Someone run her fake ass over with a tractor!
Submitted by islandgirl on August 20, 2008 - 3:06pm.
Oh my God... DeeDee!! I'm gettin' skeered! ♥
_____________________________
Don't be skeered hoooooooney. I'm here for you baby. ♥
angel_i ♥
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Love sunny D, I'm drinking it as I type! The orange fused strawberry mixed with sprite and poured over crushed ice is the shit.
... and yes I rather talk about a high fructose corn syrup drink than Jessica S.
Submitted by angel_i on August 20, 2008 - 4:09pm.
As IF she's ever uttered the word "entrepreneur"!
---------------
"Enterpeener? Entraptor? Entre...... Enterpretzel? Enter.... Dang, me and my dad are going to drink this beer, and if you want to be sweet and saasssaaaaaaay, you'll be smart and drink it too. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAWW!!"
-------------------
Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
how would you describe her expression?
****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"
Me loves BEER!! Mmmmmmmm....
Still...she coulda chosen a better beer...like Coors Light or Stella Artois or Hell...ANY other beer but this one. Geez.
Beer with Vitamins?...how fucking lazy can she get?
Lemme just get my stanky cupcake perfume, my hooker heels and my lip plumper....and I'm off!!!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I see your Schwartz is as BIG as mine!! -Dark Helmet
Yep, most alcoholics are concerned with their beer being filled with vitamins. I see it all the time on that show INTERVENTION.
Ki Ki Dallas
PSL, I've never seen it. I just always wanted a ginger Real Baby. :)
Creepy, no?
**************************************
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
As IF she's ever uttered the word "entrepreneur"! LOL! OMG, it's so fucking funny - I don't know why but this is the first thing that's made me belly laugh all day. At THIS job, that is.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
IG, your avie is making me think of "The Doll" episode on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (one of my favs)!
Anyone else?
**************************************************
I'll idealize, and realize that it's no sacrifice because the price is paid;
And there's nothing left to grieve..... Fuckin' go-
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
Clarisse- my favorite avi of yours yet! He used to be so hot. I hope he's putting the pounds back on.
OnTopic: Yeah, Smart with a pic of her is not smart. I just want to put a neon "vacancy" sign over her head. She looks like a mouth breather here, too.
TERRIBLE picture!
This bitch REEKS of desperation. I can't believe people think Aniston is desperate, when this tool is out there....
**************************************************
I'll idealize, and realize that it's no sacrifice because the price is paid;
And there's nothing left to grieve..... Fuckin' go-
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
"Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 20, 2008 - 1:02pm.
SHOT HER BEFPRE SHE BREEDS!!!!"
She's not going to breed. The closest she's going to get to a baby is thanks to Ashlee and she's going to mess that up by kidnapping the thing, killing it and stuffing it so it could live forever.
--------------------------------------
I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.
Oh my God... DeeDee!! I'm gettin' skeered! ♥
**************************************
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Submitted by DeeDee on August 20, 2008 - 4:04pm.
As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people.
Her portfolio? Her portfolio consists of fake hair, hooker heels, stanky perfume, and diarrhea inducing beer.
******************************
LOL!
And her natural talent for looking vacant - let's not forget that!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
"As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people".
Loosely translated: "As a no-talent never-was, I am always looking for ways to show off my tits because they're the only things that keep me in the spotlight".
**************************************
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Ick.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people.
Her portfolio? Her portfolio consists of fake hair, hooker heels, stanky perfume, and diarrhea inducing beer.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Be Smart, Drink Smart (Not looking smart is OK).
*************
I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
Yeah, after 3 or 4 beers I usually have some Vitamin D too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
SHOT HER BEFPRE SHE BREEDS!!!!
~♥~Meet Christina Aguilera September 2nd from 2 -5:30/6pm at Macy’s Herald Square store, Manhattan!~♥~
And theres nothing wrong with being a beer whore altough on birthdays I like to feel a little more expensive and be a Absinthe whore or Grey Goose whore.
Wow that's a really big, pink hooker.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
CHestica + Smart... Does not compute.
**** "I Love Lamp" ****
beer with vitamins has to be one of the DUMBEST things Ive ever heard of. Only thing dumber is the morons who'll actually buy this crap!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
"Big-Tittied Frog" coming to a theater near you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162