Oprah Has It Hard
Too busy to live? Well, Oprah is too busy to pose for the covers of her own magazine. The Mighty O has been on every cover since 2000 and she's sick of that shit! That's what Page Six claims anyway.
A source told them, "Oprah has told the editors at O magazine she's tired of being on the cover every month. It's a pain. It takes a lot of time and energy and she's sick of it. She's given them six months to figure out what to do without her."
Hmm...I say they should go to the next letter in the alphabet and change the name of the magazine to P. That way international supermodel Phoebe Price can be on the cover each week. I'm joking! Don't throw salmonella-laced cutlets at me!
A rep for the magazine said this shit is a bold-faced lie and that Oprah will continue to pose for covers.
How hard could it be to get your picture taken once or twice a month? If it's really such a hassle, Oprah should get herself cloned. Or she can just pay for Gayle King to have plastic surgery to look just like her. I'm sure Gayle would queef at the chance to be Oprah's twin.
And since I mentioned Chicken Cutlets in this post, it would be illegal for me not to include some stunning photos of her. Here she is posing with her dog and a magazine while out in Beverly Hills yesterday. Seriously, that dog can't wait to fucking feast on her cutlets while she sleeps. Look at him sniffing and shit.
Wenn
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Submitted by DeeDee on August 21, 2008 - 10:48pm.
hi, DeeDee!... been away for a couple of days, i see we have a new "member"
OT: yeah i did one, i'll try to do another... don't hold your breath
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 21, 2008 - 10:48pm.
I'm not willing to go to the electric chair with an extra large Oprahburger lodged in my large intestine to prove my point.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
To Team Valtrex,
I just alerted them to my suspicions, too. Between us reporting it and that mess that happened earlier today, maybe they'll be able to ban her IP completely or something.
I know a couple sites that have had to take that drastic measure when people completely abuse their site.
Hi James Haven! You don't wanna be on Oprah's show anyway - she's BO-RING! You need to do ANTM, already!
also:
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 10:38pm.
Submitted by angel_i on August 21, 2008 - 10:36pm.
Winter weight? Does she spend those months naked in Antarctica, roasting up penguins like they're Cornish Game Hens?
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Well, it's always winter here when she puts it on...it's like the Olympics...every 4th winter she puts in on; it takes her 3 years to really shed it...but she's only got a winter event with the gaining part...
I don't think Cornish Game Hens would do it - She must be felling polar bears out there.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Orale ESE! What's up? Good to see you!
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 10:46pm.
you have no proof there's a difference... she's still breathing and not on the grill
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on August 21, 2008 - 10:46pm.
Duly noted, preparing to email the mod again.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by James Haven on August 21, 2008 - 10:30pm.
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Oh God, you are funny as hell. And what is James Havens opinions on Angelina's oversized lips? Are they natural or cosmetically induced? Please tell, because I know you have the answer.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 21, 2008 - 10:45pm.
No, cows are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Just FYI, a certain poster here who looks and acts like that gurhya (whatever it's name is) spammer has been a member for only 7 minutes.
let's see... hmm.. ontopic? ontopic?... hhmmm... Oprah's a useless cow
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by James Haven on August 21, 2008 - 9:39pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 11:03pm.
Hey TV! It's good to see some of the old gang!
_______________________________
ITA! I miss the some of the old NC days. :)
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
If it helps Oprah with the photo ops, my dog left her twin out in my yard in a nice little pile.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
James Haven!!! I can't believe Oprah would tell you to stay away, especially since you have all those wonderful Mary Kay cosmetics to doll her up with.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by James Haven on August 21, 2008 - 10:39pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 11:03pm.
Hey TV! It's good to see some of the old gang!
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It always is!
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 11:03pm.
Hey TV! It's good to see some of the old gang!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by angel_i on August 21, 2008 - 10:36pm.
Winter weight? Does she spend those months naked in Antarctica, roasting up penguins like they're Cornish Game Hens?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Hahahahahaha TV! DOn't forget the exposure to solid waste due to being locked up in her room.
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Its true - she totally is only saying that cuz she's embarrassed that she's fat again. Posing is not nearly as fun under all that *ahem* "winter" weight.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
I always wondered if my diet soda was killing me. I may have to buy the magazine to find out now. Hey, if any of you subscribe to O Magazine could you tell me if my diet soda is killing me so I don't have to spend the five bucks or whatever at the supermarket checkout.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by DeeDee on August 21, 2008 - 10:32pm.
She may have also angsted too many lead-based paint chips as a child, growing up in that carbon dioxide filled house under the power lines.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by DeeDee on August 21, 2008 - 10:32pm.
Bwahahahaha TV! Yes! Her parents angst her against the ceiling one too many times.
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*Guffaw!*
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by James Haven on August 21, 2008 - 10:30pm.
I doubt she's too busy, there just aren't enough Photoshop experts in the world to retouch the weekly photos.
Hey, James!
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Bwahahahaha TV! Yes! Her parents angst her against the ceiling one too many times.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by DeeDee on August 21, 2008 - 10:27pm.
Angst? Is that Latin for brain damage?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
So this is where everyone is hiding! In an Oprah thread?!
Oprah is too busy to pose?! Why that is a slap in the face to all her fans! James Haven isn't one of them, since he has repeatedly asked her royal highass to let him come on the show, with makeup tips, and her answer is always: "Go away, James Haven. You bother me!"
She never says that to Jennifer! She even has her on the show for a pity party!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Yeah, really Deb. They need to take her computer away before she gets her parents arrested for band fraud or whoever else she is defrauding.
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
I think so angel_i. She's filled with angst, so she has an excuse. *eye roll*
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Ah, sweet moderator....
It's about fucking time, bitch!
( I kid, I kid - plsdonthurtmekthx:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
@DeeDee,
Nothing worse than a hacker that is bored and on restriction. Too bad it is smarter than it's parents...
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Submitted by gnehyu on August 20, 2008 - 11:24pm.
Hey, my computer is very fast. I'm from Andromeda to conquer this site
Oprah having her picture on every cover of her rag as it sits unpurchased next to the cash register has cut food sales by 35% in my local bodega, but tripled sales of malt liquor.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Je m'excuse.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
@DeeDee:
LMFAO! OMG Did a Hot Slut Nominee just up and walk right into DListed!?! Sah-weeet!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
What is a Scientology Funeral? Did they prop Issac up in a corner like the PuertoRican Dude..?
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
LMFAO TV!
@ angel_i Good thinkin' chata!
@Deb I think you're right. Here's what I found out about ole ginsu knife or whatever her name is.
genhyu
Date: May 16, 2008, 09:20 PM
Subject: I'm die
Body: Damn it!
Friends! I am doomed!
I took a test few weeks ago, and about next week, I am going to get my report card.
Darn! What am I going to do? Should I run away from home? But in our country sexual harrassment and kidnappings are too common, so it's going to be difficult.
What do you do when you get a bad grade? I have cold wars with my parents. It's really something. I can't even talk to them. I get locked inside that house for two weeks! Argh! I'm going to go nuts!
Console me, please! Console me! Oh, God, bless your black-haired girl! Oh, Odin, peace for the humans with your ten fingers! Oh, Zeus, a miracle for your short-haired girl!
Oh, friends. A word of comfort for you computer addicts! @#$%#$#%$@$#
(I'm going crazy)
Three weeks later I am going to return as legend!
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 21, 2008 - 10:15pm.
@DeeDee,
This person is very savy with computers, a young hacker. If you click on the member it shows access denied and yet it has managed to override MKs system...
It has an agenda.
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I'm pretty sure it's a big fat stupid one so I"m not TOO worried - maybe it's found it's new home....*crossing fingers, legs and eyes*
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 21, 2008 - 10:15pm.
Not so savvy, that happens when the mod blocks the poster. Now it's posts are leaving.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Whomever it is, she really likes Britney.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
YAY! Hey TV! Say something nasty about Britney. I got some post traumatic stress over here....
edited to add: on the Britney thread - I'm all dizzy! I don't even know where I am!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by angel_i on August 21, 2008 - 10:14pm.
@genhyu:
http://perezhilton.com
LOL!! Well, It's worth a shot.
@DeeDee,
This person is very savy with computers, a young hacker. If you click on the member it shows access denied and yet it has managed to override MKs system...
It has an agenda.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Submitted by gnehyu on August 20, 2008 - 11:24pm.
Hey, my computer is very fast. I'm from Andromeda to conquer this site
@genhyu:
http://www.perezhilton.com
@Dee Dee...
Shhh....I'm hunting wabbits! ;P
But seriously - SO fucking annoying and mostly (besides the obvious reason)cuz it reminds me of those places.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by DeeDee on August 21, 2008 - 10:12pm.
It probably IS Perez, he milked the "draw splooge on face with MS paint" bit for all it was worth, now he's learning copy & paste.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
I usually don't speak to trolls, but you seriously SUCK! Can't you go bother Perez's site instead?
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
@genhyu:
http://www.justjared.buzznet.com
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Oh NO! Not this thread too! Defacing a PP post is the ultimate sacrilege here on Dlisted!!! DAMN YOU!!!
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
they can replace oprah's face on the cover with a bowl of brussell sprouts for all i care...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
Submitted by its six thirty ... on August 21, 2008 - 9:30pm.
nevermind. sorry wasnt keeping up . just so stoned
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Ya, that's alright. I haven't been stoned in 20 years and I think I'm long overdue. Smelled some grass fumes coming over from my neighbor, may have to go and make a new friend.
about time, never thought that putting her on the cover EVERY freaking issue was a good idea. changing the covers will increase readership. and who the heck is on this cover? most photoshopped pic of her since they put her head on someone else's body way back. since when is her face that long, thin and chisled, lol?
PS. Maybe it only got a couple more posts in before the "banning" took.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.