The Honeymoon Is Over
John Mayer's one true love is the paparazzi. If he could, he would have their babies. Woopsie. I shouldn't have said that. Now dozens of paps are going to receive scribbled death threats on tear-soaked paper from "you know who." Now that John and "you know who" have ended their magical romance, the paps have moved on. They just aren't that into him anymore.
A source told MSNBC's The Scoop that John has been tipping off the paps to his whereabouts but they can't be bothered. The source said, “He thinks he’s famous as Jen now. Last week he went to a party, tipped off the paps, and even had decoy cars at the ready when he was leaving. Nice, but no one bothered to follow them, which made John think he ‘lost’ everyone, when really no one bothered to follow him.”
One pap said it's all about money. An exclusive picture of Mayer and Aniston sold for around $20,000. A picture of Mayer by himself only gets $200 from a magazine.
Poor John. He's going to have to work hard to get their love back. He'll have to write a song for them, send them flowers and text them all day long with "I MISS U." In other news, Jennifer Aniston has just become a member of the paparazzi. "Maybe he'll love me back if I take his picture?!!!!"
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quickest way to get famous marry a a famous actor or actress,john mayer like lance armstrong milk the cow for what you can get in the end you have nothing,but enjoy the milk while it is there...if i new riding a bike could get me famous couch...
Could he BE a bigger douchebag? [/Chandler Bing voice] What an ass. And I hate his f**king voice - he whines like no one else, except maybe Chris Martin. Yecch. And I'll be this little revelation makes Ms. Aniston feel just great. Poor deluded pathetic cougar that she is...
STD MayerDouche Its time for another gimmick lets see... uhh date someone famous for 2 seconds. Srsly now start texting...your body is a wonder..
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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If he really wants the paps attention it time to fess up to his gayness and date Tom Cruise.
He seems like a Skid Mark kinda guy. But I'd still give him oral.
Submitted by muncle on August 26, 2008 - 10:02am.
Hehe, me too, had a good giggle over that.
OT: Yep Mayer is a loser alright.
Next!
He totally needs to get with The Empress of Lucite...that actually would have been the logical choice after Chestica, if you really want to know...
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"If she's {Jenna Jameson} a devout Catholic, then I'm Mary Full of Grace."
His Holiness MK, 8/25/08
That pic of distorted Jen made me explode laughing. What goodness :D
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Japanese Girls
Can we puleeeeeze stop the pity party for 'poor Jen' already?? She needed the papparazzi as much as he did.
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The only people that pity her are the deranged jolie fans! Pity Party? can't you move passed her divorce? Just b/c she breaks up with a guy here or there doesn't mean she's wallowing in sorrow! And why on earth would she need the papz as much as him? She's an A-list actress who has just completed 4 movie projects this year alone, was a huge success for 10 years in one of the best all time sitcoms, was in a top movie "the Break Up" less than 3 yrs ago, was part of the "golden couple" for 7 years, is loved and adored by many, AND continues to work in hollywood. Everyone loves to know about her, her career and her love life. Hate to break the bad news to you .... but Jen doesn't need anymore exposure than she already has. Get a life!
I agree....no more pity parties for Jennifer Aniston. I say we have pity parties for the 'loons. With a little love and patience perhaps they will emerge from the funk that is unrequited brangie-love. Loons are the ones who have truly been snubbed by their lover. Poor loons.
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"Jeezy Creezy.....the Mormons ARE from Mars Dad...."
-E. Izzard
Can we puleeeeeze stop the pity party for 'poor Jen' already?? She needed the papparazzi as much as he did. He went out with a woman and broke up with her. Deal with it.
He should hook up with Chicken Cutlets or the Empress of Lucite. They know how to attract the paps.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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holy shit, what a douche!
I wish I globe-trotted more so I could spot this fuckface on the street, run up to him hyperventilating, and shriek: "DID JAMES BLUNT JUST GO BY HERE!??? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!" and take off running.
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Yur sketti...I will haz it.
omgaaaah....loons, focus. Here you have a thread about the scum-twat that is John Mayer. No need to vent your irrational Jolie roid-rage on Jennifer Aniston,(of whom I actually feel slightly protective now that she has shown how easily she can be suckered).
Of course that moron was tipping off paps all along. After the Borat-kini, that was a huge duh.
Btw...I think all the cute boys are the ones who need to run like hell. Mayer is bound to pull a Lohan. Only way to top the Aniston stunt.
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"Jeezy Creezy.....the Mormons ARE from Mars Dad...."
-E. Izzard
Submitted by kay_s on August 25, 2008 - 2:04pm.
ikr but still she had to have know this would have happen hasn't she learn anything by now this bitch is almost 40
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
Guess that sleeve tat isn't as cool as he originally thought. Good luck, douche.
Crapface is the new Crapface
i miss that hair of his. i wish he would grow it back. he looks like all the other rockers now.
LOSER!
Ah, it doesn't matter. He'll win back their luv when he moves on to the next desperate famewhores craving male attention. It's only by dating women like Blandistan and Chestica that he's still in the news at all.
I call Kate Hudson. She seems likely. Sheryl Crow? They're all in the same circle...
douchefart needs to hook up with Kanye for a Mac airbook type-off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRnbOlhEZj0
I LOVE IT!!! I just love that bitch named Karma....
Now, watch he goes to his blog and pour out his empty little heart to the world...
Need to save that drama for his mama!!!
Submitted by loozer on August 25, 2008 - 1:31pm.
The rice cake has a better personality.
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Only this douchebag could make me actually feel bad for Aniston. I was actually surprised that she'd even consider dating this attention whore.
...Last week he went to a party, tipped off the paps, and even had decoy cars at the ready when he was leaving. Nice, but no one bothered to follow them, which made John think he ‘lost’ everyone, when really no one bothered to follow him.”....
Too funny. It's a goddamn shame that can't happen to ALL the idiot famewhores. That would be beautiful.
www.myspace.com/mle62
John Mayer = Rice Cake
http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2131328/ist21706548ricecak...
My apologies to Rice Cakes everywhere.
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When tryin' to untangle
The Jingle from the Jangle
It's easy if you listen with your heart.
Sing Me, Sing Me, Sing Me...
So if this is true...
He has delved into a bottomless tank of douchery! Pathetic is not even going to cover this di*k head. These are the type of guys who SEEM wonderful in the beginning and not only break your heart but take a a piece of that shriveled shiot with them!
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
Submitted by Salem13 on August 25, 2008 - 11:19am.
"...anyways I here Janice Dickinson is single."
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And....?
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
$20,000??? what the fuck happened to $250,000??! Well i guess being married to Pitt was her golden ticket. Boy, to go from $250k to $20k for a pic of u and ur new man has got to hurt. I'm sure she realizes she aint shit anymore!!!!
"You are a whore, darlin'. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see"
I think he is really hot,and he is packing!
*I know I've said this before*
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“I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.” Jim Morrison
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Why did he do that to his hair?! His hair was one of the good things he had going for him. Not now.
If your're only as good as your last project, he and Aniston should be paying the paps to take pictures of them. These two are more known for their dating lives than for their declared "artistic" professions.
Remeber when he wrote that song about Jennfer love Hewitt's body...yeah then James Blunt came along and stole his tittle for most annoying song written by a pussy, anyways I here Janice Dickinson is single.
I thought John Mayer's one true love was himself.
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
The only thing that is following him is this load of a bullcrap song:
"I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above"
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
I could care but I already douched today!
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I don't expect rocket scientists to work at McDonald's for minimum wage....but I do expect people to know the difference between bacon and sausage, damn.
i still think he looks like Wentie with this new do, I thought he was WM for a sec once again.
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"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Thats not even a whole sleeve tattoo...it only goes down to like mid-forearm....cause he's too sissy to take it to the wrist. DOUCHE!!
HA though...I love hearing him get his cum-uppance. ;P
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Your garden club called. Their Ho is missing!
"An exclusive picture of Mayer and Aniston sold for around $20,000"
I am in the wrong business!
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
The creep deserves to be ignored. Cannot stand his attitude.
John use to seem so nice and down to earth. It's so sad and comical to see him get sucked into the Hollywood lifestyle and ultimately become a major douche.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Tipping paps...yeah that's cool.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
It's more like who'll he go for next...which young lady doesn't mind a douchebag who will use you for your fame?
Your face!
He's pathetic... I bet he hooks up with Hudson in a few...
**** "I Love Lamp" ****
In other words, Mayer is plotting which high-profile female he should go after next.
His sleeve sucks. I never understaood the appeal of this douche. His looks OR his music.
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.