10 Minutes Of Torture
When I was like 12 or 13, my friends and I would spend our weekends making our own music videos in the garage with my mom's camcorder. Our stupid videos were only entertaining to us. I showed my mom once and she said, "That's nice. Don't break the camera." Well, Heidi Montag's new video makes my old shit look like the Citizen Kane of music videos. And my garage was nicer than her bootleg set.
I joked that her video was paid for with a creampie, a half-filled bottle of Valtrex and a taint shine from Spencer. They paid too much. The fucking shit music doesn't even line up with the video. I know this is supposed to be a joke, but I'm not laughing.
I even watched all 10 minutes! It sort of has the look of a 1980s porn/snuff film, so I was hoping someone was going to pop out with a chainsaw at any moment.
I really don't hate you. I don't. I loves you. I just needed someone to go on this rollercoaster of torture with me. You'll forgive me later. Look on the bright side! If you watch all 10-minutes of this tarded horsey show, your boss might let you go home sick. Just tell them, "I watched the Heidi Montag video." Your boss will understand.
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what the HELL was that? no, i mean it, what was that????????
Ten fucking minutes?! I couldn't make it past two.
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"How much is that doggie in the window?"
seriously, I feel dizzier now after I watched it (no I didnt survive the whole 10 minutes..let me know if anyone made it)
when will this horse realize shes not talented? with the millions i'm sure her and beavis spencer make being fame whores, that sure is a cheap ass set.
"I know this is supposed to be a joke, but I'm not laughing." haha i'm sorta laughing but not really. i'm just sick of these two idiots. actually i'm sick of the whole hills thing already. hope they're all enjoying their little meal ticket now because in 5 years......
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
I think I'd rather have front row seats to "2 Girls 1 Donkey" than watch that shit all the way through.
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The future Mrs. Jensen Ackles.
SNL - Drew Barrymore leads this all-female cast in low-impact body fuzion.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/body-fuzion/60197/
"Speidi."
Good one!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on August 26, 2008 - 8:41pm.
*hitting little sock monkey head against keyboard* Kill me now. Kill me now. Kill me now. Why did I click play? Why? I hate this whore.
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see! just like I said: say no to play: the anti-montag campaign. People need to listen to me from time to time.
I don't like to laugh at people, makes me feel mean, heidi makes me feel beyond that, it's terrible for my spirit:(
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P.H.: 'Dis is Egyptian Cotton, mudday-fuk... 2-20 thread. 'Dis is half your shitty-ass paycheck.
J.S.: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if Pharaoh himself gave it to you, you knock-off wearing motherfucker
Aren't there any grown-ups in the music business to put a top to this idiocy?
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Computer says no
Thanks alot dude!! I was sitting her enjoying a nice beer and I stumble upon this crap. I read this site everyday hoping to hear news that Twit and Twat were trampled by wild llamas. Think im gonna need more beer.
omg, that was tragic.
my computer stopped playing her music after like the 3 minute mark... i didn't actally watch 3 minutes, i was scanning and the music went away but the video played.... my computer told me no. smart computer, eh?
xoxo
l.danielle
She has double jointed hips...creepy. Creepy is code for "I'm jealous"
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...mad at this, "I know you weren't born when I did what I did and I know that I was an inspiration to you and I take that as a complete compliment." Mark Spitz
Oh, and Bitches is dumb!
This might be the WORST video I have ever seen!!! The track has nothing to do with the song. And she isn't even singing the song in question -- or the track is way behind or way ahead of her mouthing the words in the video.
Absolutely terrible!!
*hitting little sock monkey head against keyboard* Kill me now. Kill me now. Kill me now. Why did I click play? Why? I hate this whore.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
what....the.....fuck....IS....that?????
They must have had similar bullshit just before the fall of the Roman Empire.
She is my favorite. Just saw her personals ID on millionaires personals site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site. Is she single again?
A mini-movie for God's sake. This decade's "Thriller".
Uh, what manner of fuckery is this?!?!
Darling, Heidi - we're laughing AT you, not WITH you.
I made it to the 1:28 mark and had to shut it off and hit my pipe!!! I don't think weed is strong enough to fix this shit!!! I might need electro-shock therapy!!
Why are these two popular? We need to throw them into the pit of death!!!(from Meet the Spartans)
Living well is the best revenge.......
If she knew she was a joke and was trying to be funny, well, that's one thing, but she thinks she has talent (or at least SOMEONE-Spencer-has told her she does) and that's just sad...vomit-inducingly sad and this week's SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!
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http://worldofsuzy.blogspot.com/
I only made it to about 30 secs and it had to go off....I was feeling way too bad for my ears!!! WHAT IS THIS SHIT????
Is this even legal...I'm sure its not in some countries...
Before watching this, I was in the bathroom, shitting my colon out. Boy did I felt relief.
Now after watching 40 seconds of that video, I sense a big fecaloma stuck in my rectum, which will be very hard to take out. I want to barf too.
Holy fukken cow. They shoot lame horses don't they ? How about they start that practice on this hob goblin of a mare ?
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You are who you think you are.
Wow. That's about the worst coordination I've ever seen.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Okay, boys and girls. What did we learn from this?
1.) we now know Wonky McValtrax sold at least several pair of her headband hair extensions.
2.) Hide-yit can detatch her legs and put her feet by her ears.
3.) The poor guy in green with bug-eye has been scarred for life.
4.) The Kennedys should have just shown this to Kathleen instead of having her lobotomized.
5.) We all just got PUNK"D!
Ok, I made it through the first 30 seconds. I think I deserve some kind of prize or at least a damn cookie.
Wow. Elizabeth Shue has really moved up since her "Cocktail" days.
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RIMADYL KILLS
2Di4, Will Smith? For reals? Wow, well...that is REALLY interesting...I bet Tom Cruise gets some on a regular basis!...I've always had a feeling that Will Smith was gay, especially how he overcompensates with fairly macho movies that generally suck.
Your face!
the music isn't even matching with the video! she spent $10 on this shit...i'm so bored today that i actually watched 2.5 minutes of the video before i realized that i wanted those wasted minutes back!
Your face!
It's obvious Spencer did her hair.
Well fuck me in the ass and call me a bitch - but that was officially one of the most amazing things I have seen in recent history!
It's just so bad - it's good again!
Bravo guys, bravo!
listen, whatever the hell is going on with that seemingly piece of trash, erroneously called a music video, i don't give a fuck, ok, cool, but i need to say this: it is wrong to even post this video.
why? people will click on it, out of curiosity, obviously, but why the hell should we give the benefit of the views? at this rate if everyone keeps posting it just to make fun of it, the only thing we will obtain is to place it at the top ten of the most watched videos in youtube, now that's just WRONG.
i didn't click the video! people please STOP! don't!
we should start a campaign: "Say no to Play, Say no to Montag" or "Pause is my best friend and Montag the enemy, X the Play", or "Post it, don't Play it: the Anti-Montag Campaign", whatever the hell you creative minds know how to. JUST DON'T!
I BEG.
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P.H.: 'Dis is Egyptian Cotton, mudday-fuk... 2-20 thread. 'Dis is half your shitty-ass paycheck.
J.S.: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if Pharaoh himself gave it to you, you knock-off wearing motherfucker
I got to 7:20 and now my head hurts.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Alright- I watched the whole thing, and there is no sound after 4 minutes (ok, I fast forwarded to solve the riddle, but still!)
Whoever leaked this leaked the sound in real time and the video in slow mo. If the video were faster, like it will be when it's really released, I think it'll synch up, and everything will be much faster.
So- it'll be a faster version of a terrible, horrible diarrhea and vomit fest. Yay.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Here's hoping that she overdoses after this shitacular video.
my cat came in the room and HOWLED lol
I need a Rolaids, Tums and Nyquil cocktail to get over the crap I just watched.
Oh I am suicidal now.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
... Sorry, couldn't do it. Made it all the way to the 44 second mark!
And LOL to the poster who made the MadTV pardoy comment. I thought the same thing!!! :)
I need to kill something, quick.
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
This is the Mad TV goof version of her video correct? This can not be the actual video to her song. Please someone enlighten me.
wtf that I just see. my lunch hr gone to hell. If it's supposed to be funny...i dont see the humor in this caca at all. pure caca.
Away all weekend and come back to this? Where is the humanity?!?!?!?!
I managed 3mins, that's it. Why do they do this to themselves and everyone else? Maniacs.
why did i think this was like a real video produced by mtv or something? I was like " wow maybe theres actually a chance this is good!"........i cant tell u how relieved I am to know this is funny. Now I can watch the hills knowing the thousands of dollars they make every episode arent going to waste. They are going to neon, hooker fees, and plastic.
Michael,I really want to see those videos.
I loves you,too!
♥
♥
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“I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.” Jim Morrison
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Did I read this right? It was produced by asix foot turkey productions? Not a very nice way to describe your self Spencer
Seriously you do hate me. That was undescribably tortuous. So I had to watch it all.
I made it to 46 seconds.
what is up w/the computer~sounding voice?
sad.
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“I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.” Jim Morrison
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Why the heck does this mess keep on going after the music stops??? It is like the camara got sick of the crap she was passing of as music and went mute...or maybe I just lost my hearing from this crap!!!
ur a dirty whore MK..a dirty whore!
p.s. i made it to :43.