Tuesday, August 26th 2008

One Big Happy Family

I've decided for myself that Pill-Poppin' Abdul and the new chick hate each other. HATE each other. Like a "I think about opening a hot curling iron in your asshole" kind of hate. I don't know this for a fact, but it's the only way I can accept the new chick. Look at Paula. If she wasn't Robitrippin so hard, she'd slap the new chick with her good hand. Her other hand is always numb from all ze Vicodin. And the new chick is softly praying to herself, "Please help me find a way to not whip this crackie's ass. I just got this job!"

Here's the new and maybe-improved "American Idol" family at the NYC audition today. Simon Cowell's manchichis are looking so perky. I bet he has some duct tape holding up those things.

Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


WildGuy's picture

And the in-fighting and bickering will commence .... Now!

phoenix62's picture

Are people still watching this tripe?

www.myspace.com/mle62

What in the name of O.P. is Seacrest wearing? It looks like he raided the set of "That 70's Show."

Randy could minimize his girth by untucking his shirt and wearing pants that don't cut off his circulation. The belt is pretty much a joke when you have been poured into your pants.

Paula will always be my favorite nut rod.

Your Mom Ate the Taco's picture

Submitted by The C word on August 27, 2008 - 7:10am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 8:08am.
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Maybe I should start watching again... :)

BTW, Happy Birthday!!!

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Thanks, but actually it really isn't my birthday! My comment was supposed to be dialogue from Pee Wee's Playhouse..lol :)

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."

The C word's picture

Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 8:08am.
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Maybe I should start watching again... :)

BTW, Happy Birthday!!!

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Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.

Your Mom Ate the Taco's picture

Submitted by The C word on August 27, 2008 - 7:03am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 7:59am.
Ahh, so I'm guessing you watched it for a total of 20 minutes...
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Pretty much... :D

That drove me nuts!

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It really is fkn annoying, but if Paula happens to be whacked out during an episode it kind of makes up for it. That's why I tune in, occasionally: to see if Paula looks as if she's about to fall out of her chair.

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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."

The C word's picture

Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 7:59am.
Ahh, so I'm guessing you watched it for a total of 20 minutes...
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Pretty much... :D

That drove me nuts!

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Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.

OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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Your Mom Ate the Taco's picture

Submitted by The C word on August 27, 2008 - 6:40am.
I stopped watching this years ago…right around when Randy said “Dawg” for the 2nd or 3rd time.

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Ahh, so I'm guessing you watched it for a total of 20 minutes...

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."

Notoriousrem_22's picture

One of my proudest accomplishments in life is that I have never wasted even a second of my precious time watching this shit. What a fuckin joke, no one on this show has talent its fuckin pathetic. What would possess anyone to sit around and watch degenerates BUTCHER (sometimes) good songs is beyond me.

The C word's picture

I stopped watching this years ago…right around when Randy said “Dawg” for the 2nd or 3rd time.

Morning all!

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Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.

Simon's boobs may be perky but Paula's are decidedly not!

TheBreakdown's picture

Perfect.

This new slut looks so much like Paula they could easily phase her out and no one would be the wiser...or care.

And I cannot wait for Ryan Seacrest's 'rest stop moment'

It's a -coming!

'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston

Perezs Fired Stylist's picture

Randy Jackson and his red shoes + gang signs are getting fat again.

paris herpes's picture

White sneakers and black jeans do not go together. I think Ryan Seacrest MUST DIE!

Your face!

lizardo911's picture

Who is the new fat chick? Don't know her...

Mel-Tang's picture

She looks like a bitch. Paula's going to be nice to her this season, but by the end, the cat claws will be coming out. I bet she will side with Simon a lot, and Paula will hate that.

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Simon Cowell can do anything he wants. He started "American Idol" way back when, in England, transfered it here, and has rights to any idol winner, and their 1st year earnings, with his production company. (hint: it's better to be 2nd place)
He's an innovative businessman. Not that I agree with his methods.

Team Valtrex's picture

They won't get me to watch until the judges reinstate the death penalty.

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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.

EastEndGirl's picture

Clotty McCingOn,

They are so beautiful, and rich! And in need of lovers!

I reckon with your name you are at the front of the queue!

They love pantie clots, and exclamation points!!!

You are a sure thing!!!!!!!!! (fuck that is almost as bad as caps)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA

jussayin'---Shouldn't you be peeling bananas? T

boomsy's picture

It's ok; my ice cream and cool whip are making it all better....

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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

Mr. President's picture

Submitted by boomsy on August 26, 2008 - 10:58pm.

Boomsy, I hear ya. We need some more train wrecks. We'll get some, I'm sure. It's like a volcanic force building. I'm sure at least one of those Disney whores is ready to blow. In more ways than one.

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys.

boomsy's picture

And I agree with whoever made the Tiny Tim comment about Simon; it looks like they stuck the upper half of his body on someone else's legs, and one of the legs looks gimpy.

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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

boomsy's picture

Bored bored bored bored BORED.....did I mention I'm bored?

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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

Mr. President's picture

Simon Cowell should sign a deal with Victoria's Secret to promote a new line of male bras.

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

speakit's picture

OMG, He looks like shit.

Better?

Michael Phelps is my favorite player. By the way, I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said he is only intersted in dating wealthy young women on that site.

DESIGNER GENES's picture

Like a "I think about opening a hot curling iron in your asshole" kind of hate.

OOOH MK, did you just make a veiled reference to SLEEPAWAY CAMP?????

DebFrmHell's picture

Whoever that new chick is, don't tell me i could care less, has got a Vulcan Death Grip on little Abdul's arm...

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You put a Minch on me!!!
I (((hearts)))) Mrs. K and Minch

parissucksliterally's picture

Manimal, I'll hand you the bat.

Seacrest is responsible for all those E! Crap reality shows. He NEEDS to be beaten.

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He put himself so low he could hardly even look me in the face
- Fiona Apple

Clotty McClingOn's picture

Paula "Fakest Smile Ever" Adbul is a stinkur.

Mr. President's picture

Kelly Clarkson is the only American Idol winner that is still worth listening to.

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Manimal5's picture

Submitted by paris herpes on August 26, 2008 - 10:03pm.

And his jeans and sneakers make me want to beat him like a pinata.

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paris herpes's picture

Ryan Seacrest's shirt makes me want to kill him. IS that normal?

Your face!

Leatherette's picture

;)~

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by Leatherette on August 26, 2008 - 8:52pm.

Can't you just go rot in troll hell somewhere?
as usual, You've been reported!

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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"

Leatherette's picture

a'ight... amended the siggy just for the Hoff, and Jussayin':

MCCAIN IN 2008: HALF Y'ALL HOS DESERVE HIM.

Karen Flatts's picture

Please-- don't let me hold you up from visiting the closest graveyard. As soon as possible.

xultar's picture

Apparently Randy is off the food wagon.

christine the hoff's picture

yes, please vote for mckain because the repubs are so good for our country... "rolls eyes"

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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"

Leatherette's picture

.... vodka gimlets and corpses...Can I cum graveyard-hopping wichoo?

islandgirl's picture

Submitted by jussayin on August 26, 2008 - 8:48pm.
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*smacks forehead* I KNEW I was doing something wrong! :)
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."

Karen Flatts's picture

Oh and your manners can probably be found alongside your last few remaining brain cells..at the bottom of that constant companion of yours...the neverending vodka gimlet.

Karen Flatts's picture

Kumbaya right back at you bitch--I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are. Of course, they also had wittier comebacks.

jussayin's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on August 26, 2008 - 9:42pm.
All I know is, the last time I tried to open a hot curling iron in my asshole, it really hurt. Never again!

....well duh! you can't open it!!

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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really,
you don't know me- T.I.

Sandbitch's picture

Randy's belt buckle speaks the truth - 64" wide, no less!

islandgirl's picture

All I know is, the last time I tried to open a hot curling iron in my asshole, it really hurt. Never again!

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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

I ♥ Paula.
She's ridikalus.

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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.

Leatherette's picture

OH! Where are my manners?! Flashing my peace siggy just for you, K Flatt ;*

MCCAIN IN 2008: Y'ALL HOS DESERVE HIM.