The Twin Messiahs Are Fine
If your a reporter and you're interviewing Brad Pitt, if you don't ask how the chosen ones are doing, a curse will be placed on you. I'm pretty sure of it. At a press conference for "Burn After Reading" in Venice, Brad was asked how the chosen ones are doing. He said, "The twins are fine." He then raised his glass of holy water, toasted and took a sip. Half of the room fainted.
When Brad said they were fine, he really meant, "They can speak 10 languages, they are on their way to finding the cure for cancer and they just qualified for the Olympics in 2012. They will compete in every single event."
George Clooney, who was also at the press conference, was asked the question he always gets asked. When is he going to get married and have kids? He said, "I am so surprised to hear that question. This honestly is the first time I've ever been asked that question. I'm getting married and having children today." Brad added, "And until then, I'll be sharing mine with him." Seriously, they should just get married to each other already.
Here's the two old goats at the Venice Film Festival today. Brad, please burn that hat after wearing. Thank you. I also threw in some pictures of my favorite ginge shemalien, Tilda Swinton.
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Hey! What are you poopin' at?
It was a happy poo the day that it left me.
What would you do?
What would you do if I followed poo?
What would you do...
If I followed...
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Ahhh...Merkins and poo: beautiful together.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
*glares @ FatMartha* hmmm.. So that's why you turned me down last night, for something as little as runny shit, rolling down my leg. Now that is just rude. i shall never face the world again.. *runs away*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Take a message from my poo
*Take a messaaaaage*
Take a message from my poo
*Take a messaaaaage*
Take a message from my poo
*Take a messaaaaage*
Take a message from my poo
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 11:46am.
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
OKIE! That is going to be my new siggie because I love it so much. :] I think I may have actually gone alittle pee in my panties *psss psss*
When Okie wants some sexy times
But she's got somethin' runnin' down her thighs
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
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Hi5.
"She's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!" - MK on 8-26-08
xxyxz.. I's berry good. You good too?? *cuddles up next to computer screen to be close to you* yes, I am that sweet, just can't help it.. haha
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 11:19am.
CARROTTOP,
Still got the farkin cold!! I looked for that Buckley stuff, but i don't think it's made it this far down yet. =(
The ménage à tinklin is makin me giggle though....
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Probably for the best. I'll put almost anything in my mouth and I battle with that stuff. Seriously, cat piss.
Zinc tablets and Sinutab are a miracle combination.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
that was funny taco times
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 11:23am.
When there's a fire up your ass
And you must take a Cody Bass
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
If LCT is smirkin'
Cuz you shat poop in your merkin
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
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Oh fuck I think I just shat myself. That was the funnies thting I've seen all day long. Merkin shit is the new black.
Oklahoma
Even better then the original
how youuuuu doin?
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 11:16am.
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
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HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Pee you, Pee me, Pee it together.. Naturally..
THat's for you Xxyxz.. not by Lionol Richie.. But my Okie!! re written
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
When there's a fire up your ass
And you must take a Cody Bass
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
If LCT is smirkin'
Cuz you shat poop in your merkin
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
Diarrhea bloop! bloop!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Xxyxz.. Baby baby How's my baby!!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
pee on me... When you're not strong
I'll be your friend
I'll lend you my pissy thong
Clarisse, there there, suck on des, it make you feel better.. *pulls out humumgously large hairy tit* The hair is for runny nose, clears it right up!!!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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CARROTTOP,
Still got the farkin cold!! I looked for that Buckley stuff, but i don't think it's made it this far down yet. =(
The ménage à tinklin is makin me giggle though....
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 27, 2008 - 11:42am.
Hell naw. I spent all my moneys on the dog-cloning. Besides, the last time I used one of them cranes the straps broke.
When your crane tips up on end
And you feel a sag in your Depends
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
************
Hi5.
"She's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!" - MK on 8-26-08
When LCT eats IceCream out the box
and her stomach feels like rocks
diarrhea bloop bloop
diarrhea bloop bloop
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
yeh, that was lame.. *hangs head in shame*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
VANCOUVER 2010 MK - Get it right!
Submitted by xxyxz on August 27, 2008 - 11:12am.
LMAO you bitches are making me laugh so hard I'm
P-I-S-S-I N-G
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XXYXZ sittin' in a tree, P-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes tinkle, then comes flow
Then comes the waterfall for a real nice show!
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by mike on August 27, 2008 - 8:02am.
Tilda's odd looking, but she owns it, and exudes a vibe of "I could give a fuck what you think" and THAT is hot.
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Yup.
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
LMAO you bitches are making me laugh so hard I'm
P-I-S-S-I N-G
Submitted by FatMartha on August 27, 2008 - 11:09am.
Three days, actually! My caretaker wasn't here to help me out of my Hoveround.
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You mean you don't have one of those cranes that lifts you over into the can, or at least lifts you high enough to cram a bedpan under there?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 11:08am.
When your climbing up a ladder
and you hear LCT spladder
diarrhea bloop bloop
diarrhea bloop bloop..
Oh were we talking about pee.. I still have poop on the brains.. mmmm poop..
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When Okie slaps your bum
And you suddenly have to run
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
When Martha's taking you to the store
And you leave brown buddles galore
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
Diarrhea *bloop bloop*
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Wow...just looked at Tilda up close....well, her face looks the same as always, but her outfit looks like someone puked up their spaghetti and Nerds candies all over her top. Blech!
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Can't figure out why i have this sudden urge to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 27, 2008 - 11:35am.
That should be good. That's got to be a whole day's worth in there eh?
When you go on a trip with Martha
And there's enough ammonia smell to kill Sparta
Pee in your panties *psss psss*
Pee in your panties *psss psss*
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Three days, actually! My caretaker wasn't here to help me out of my Hoveround.
When you're hangin' with LCT
And she's got a wet spot on her jeans
Pee your panties *psss psss*
Pee your panties *psss psss*
************
Hi5.
"She's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!" - MK on 8-26-08
When your climbing up a ladder
and you hear LCT spladder
diarrhea bloop bloop
diarrhea bloop bloop..
Oh were we talking about pee.. I still have poop on the brains.. mmmm poop..
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
I like Tilda Swinton and I think her make up free face is appropriate in a lot of contexts, but when she wears designer clothes to these high profile events they make her look overly plain. Maybe she looks better in person, though.
Also, I think Brad Pitt looks a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio with a goatee in the main picture.
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"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "always remember that not everyone has had the same advantages in life that you've had."
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Submitted by FatMartha on August 27, 2008 - 11:03am.
*wrings it out* There! How much more we need? I just drank a full bottle of water.
When you're sitting next to Okie
And she smells a little hokey
Pee your panties *psss psss*
Pee your panties *psss psss*
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That should be good. That's got to be a whole day's worth in there eh?
When you go on a trip with Martha
And there's enough ammonia smell to kill Sparta
Pee in your panties *psss psss*
Pee in your panties *psss psss*
-------------------
Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
LMAO @ FatMartha pee song.. *farts tune*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
*wrings it out* There! How much more we need? I just drank a full bottle of water.
When you're sitting next to Okie
And she smells a little hokey
Pee your panties *psss psss*
Pee your panties *psss psss*
************
Hi5.
"She's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!" - MK on 8-26-08
Tilda's shirt reminds me of something... like a bunch of meal worms on a bed of banana paste feasting on blueberries.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Taco Mom Times! SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Tilda's odd looking, but she owns it, and exudes a vibe of "I could give a fuck what you think" and THAT is hot.
Xxyxz.. Oh my, my favorite object to piss on and IN!!! Muahahaha.. !!!
-----------------------------------
I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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Clarissalina! PEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIMES!
How are you doing?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 27, 2008 - 10:52am.
@LCT: What about peeing? *checks her Depends* I think I'm all set in that department.
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Wring that thing out Martha, we need your pee pee!
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Team Tilda is Creepy all the way!
YMAtT,
"You can't flick or rub her lips and go "lippee lippee lippee!" like I do with my golden retriever"
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
Carrottop!!!
Yeah, Happy pants times!!!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Good morning
Oklahoma ... Piss this way :0)
Shiny Happy Pee Pee holding haaands. pee peeeee!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
I was watching Ocean's 11 last night and was having heart pound times for Brad, then remembered he was with EgoManiacal Bitch Angie and poof, like night and day. He was no longer remotely sexy. Well, until he put his tie on.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
*looks at her pee-covered laptop* Fanks, okie! <3
If there was a lab, I would go to it. I just go to a dinky school (~700 students) and the "computer technician" here sucks at life. So it's been very slow ever since everyone connected to the network on Saturday which was move-in day. It's gotten better, though, so hopefully it's getting evened out and I will be able to pee around Dlisted more often. :]
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Hi5.
"She's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!" - MK on 8-26-08
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 10:51am.
@LCT.. *peeing* Now you Go!! *Calling FatMartha's Pee times* Now where is the poo.. I need poo, no poo, Never any poo when I need it. *cries in LCT's pretty yellow pee pee*
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*Psssssssssssss* I don't have any poo either. Does anyone have any poo they can contribute?
Do you like how vibrant my pee is Okie? I took a multivitamin this morning.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
who's minding the two boys while braddie is out playing with george? i am under the opinion they don't use nannies!!!!! yeah, right.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 9:49am.
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My husband's lower lip sticks out because he used to have an underbite when he was a kid. I'll flop that thing down and drag my palm all the way down and yell "dry lip!!!!" and run away.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Dorms blow. Go to the mac lab.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"