Pass The Popcorn
HoHan's main muff diver, SamRo, put her angry gayelle fingers to work and wrote a response to Michael Lohan's attacks on her MySpace. The butchie is so mad she could bite a dick. Okay, she's not THAT mad. It helps if you read this while wearing a strap-on. Don't ask questions. It just helps. Trust.
SHUT THE F*** UP
Current mood: bulliedi really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words... so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life- i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him.
p.s. i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living.... i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else....so I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all..... written by me..... when does your book come out mr. lohan?
Shouldn't her current mood be "gayelley"? I digress. Michael Lohan better watch his flabby, born-again ass! SamRo probably knows some major biker butchies who don't fuck around. The lezzie fun doesn't stop there! HoHan also posted a reponse to daddy on her MySpace. I'm sure she wrote this while doing the scissor with SamRo. These girls are talented. HoHan's response is longer, so it's after the jump. JUMP!!!!
DRUG FREE
Current mood: betrayed
Category: LifeIf you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going...
If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.
Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).
He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.
Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.
I'm not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on...
I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.
I'm sure Michael would say it to her face, but she never answers his calls. And her face usually has a fur pie on it. She should have said: "If you have something to say! Say it to SamRo's fur pie!" That would make more sense.
And did HoHan say her mother has never sold her out?! Even White Oprah is laughing at that one! Speaking of, why doesn't White Oprah have a MySpace? She needs to be in the middle of all this fuckery. Honestly, did the woman fall down a K-hole or something? She's been so quiet lately. The earth can't spin correctly if White Oprah does not release one of her epic statements!
I love this born-again vs. lezzie drama! More! More! More! The pussy ball is in your court, Mista Lohan. Oh and can Anderson Cooper also comment on this shit? My loins are awaiting his response.
Samatha was actually a singer/songwriter before she became a DJ, one of her songs was on the Mean girls soundtrack... .
You know what's best for La Lohan: getting away from the men in her life. Which means both her dad *and* this opportunistic dyke.
Lindsey should just cut him out of her life and be happy with SamRo or whoever she chooses.
I hope Lindsay and Samantha live happily ever after, if that is what they want. And even more I hope no one ever takes a picture of them again.
And by the way, what IS the big deal about being a "famous DJ"? You play someone else's songs. So how is that something special? sheesh....
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Computer says no
Did she forget the time she was passed out in SamRo's front seat and SamRo let the paps take pictures of her with her mouth open?
Damn this chick is dumb.
Hasn't her time passed? When will we [finally] never have to hear her name? Really I'm over it, next tween star turned rehaber please.
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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert
They both write very similarly, if either of them even wrote the blogs at all.
And MK, my loins forever wait in response to Mista Cooper.
"I'm here to kick butt and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum"
Whoa good call!
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Submitted by tiddlywinks on August 28, 2008 - 2:45pm.
Am I the only person who notices the similarities in punctuation and tone in the two messages? Obviously the same person wrote both of them. I'm betting SamRo wrote them both, call it a hunch.
I'm laughing so fuc*in hard about the scisscors that I can barely see.
Your descriptions are perfect. I can see it all unfold before my eyes so yes Pass the popcorn!
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Hands off my popwreck!
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www.poorbritney.com
Am I the only person who notices the similarities in punctuation and tone in the two messages? Obviously the same person wrote both of them. I'm betting SamRo wrote them both, call it a hunch.
Its HIGHlarious that each one is calling the other on their "addiction to fame"! Every last player in this circle jerk is a fame whore and that includes orange oprah!
She looks like Hilary Swank in 'Boys Don't Cry' only fuglier. Anywho, I think their giving Daddy Lohan just more of the attention that he craves. What a sad mess of a family!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Keep this girl, Lindsay--you can't find anyone better.
those dykes on bikes better youtube that hot shit
ITS TOO LONG TO READ THE WHOLE THING
doesn anyone know her myspace URL?
please message me
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Submitted by bo_tatoe on August 28, 2008 - 11:08am.
You may be right about SamRo. Yet I think Michael Lohan is even more filled with hot air.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 28, 2008 - 9:34am.
Someone should submit the blog to passiveaggressivenotes.com. They'll tear it apart over there!
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AHHH that's amazing!!! You've introduced me to my second favorite website (2nd only to Dlisted, of course :D ) THANK YOU!
I liked slutty Lohan so much better. She is soooo boring now that she's gone gayelle.
MySpace should be illegal it is so stupid.
Submitted by Deb on August 28, 2008 - 4:53pm.
"... SamRo and Daddy Lohan in a steel cage match. SamRo would have him crying like a baby in 30 seconds."
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Howzat?
Cause i tend to agree to "nyapples" first brake:
She may well not live off HoHan, but she definitely lives off her mom + dad, and never in one second in her life felt the need to stand on her own two feet existentialwise. Her "evil-eye-grunge" look is a shallow pose. That kind does not know how to make a stand in reallife - the first bitchslap would have her run home crying.
I support Lindsay and Samantha. They are in the public eye not Lindsey's father. He is a wanna-be and I think Samantha and Lindsay get that. I hope they continue to work on themselves and their relationship and leave the father to self-destruct. Clearly is he still very sick.
While I have neither respect or fondness for any of these media-whores, I'd love to see SamRo and Daddy Lohan in a steel cage match. SamRo would have him crying like a baby in 30 seconds.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I read that with Peaches in my mind, of course she was wearing a strap on.
"i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him."
Sam, you are such a liar.
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"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
The pot calling the kettle attentionwhore-black.
SamRO and her brother are just posers, and you can throw in their stepbrother as well. They always wear dirty skinny jean, a loose fitting tshirt, sunglasses like they're the coolest shit on the block. What kills me is that all three are priviledged and wealthy individuals, trying to pass of as "grungy" or however you want to phrase it. The same goes for Wino, they all seem to want to dress like their poor, and dont even care about what they put on their backs. Yet they've very likely spend a good hour putting their shit ensemble together. Mastercard commercial anyone?
About Lindsay writing her stuff on her blog, I will play the devils advocate and say she is right on several reasons. First, Michael already invited the media into their private business and put down both Sam and indirectly Lindsay. If they dont respond publicly, then it can be seen as they arent able to disprove his claims because they are true. Like when someone is asked "are you gay" and they say nothing, or "no comment" - how many times have we as celebrity readers read that and thought GUILTY!!!
Also, and more importantly Michael looks like a total dickhead, who ALWAYS thinks he is right, and doesnt let you talk, and if he listens its always just nodding and waiting for his time to talk. Michael probably listens to lindsay and opens his arguements with "But ..." , "However..." in other words you can say whatever you want to, and he will just reiterate what he just said taking into concideration nothing of what you just said. By writing it to him on a blog, Lindsay can say what she needs to say, without interruption, and without forgetting to touch on certain points, and this way, tell him what he needs to know, without having to actually have any contact with him. She definitely seems to not even want to speak with him on the phone, and with that asshole of a father I wouldnt blame her. Though I would have probably keyed my response all over his car.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on August 28, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Yes, I suppose that you have a point there dramaqueen. Thanks for your input.
This is just something that sticks in my throat for some reason. Maybe that's just, as you say, the nature of the site.
Hmm.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume? - DivasGone
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 3:02pm.
Unfortunately I don't see the self-referential humor in a near-endless stream of posts about lesbian couples that consists of nothing more than jokes about their vaginae.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume? - DivasGone
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 10:02am.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on August 28, 2008 - 10:56am.
I'm afraid that as with most posts concerning homosexual women, the Michael K's words have left a bitter taste in my mouth.
A lot of the above comments are no better than the mouth-breathing slurs that spill from the mouth of greasy bigots.
Homophobia is never cute.
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MK pokes fun at his own sexuality. It's tongue-in-cheek. He's obviously not that sensitive about it, which is a good thing. Being able to laugh at one's self is an indicator of self acceptance. I don't think he really gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Neither should Sam or Linds.
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Agreed. You can tell this from his post yesterday about Del (can't recall her last name), the lesbian activist from the 1950s who passed away recently.
*****
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
ubmitted by ZiggyStardust on August 28, 2008 - 9:56am.
I'm afraid that as with most posts concerning homosexual women, the Michael K's words have left a bitter taste in my mouth.
A lot of the above comments are no better than the mouth-breathing slurs that spill from the mouth of greasy bigots.
Homophobia is never cute.
Is there any topic MK isn't irreverent about? Isn't that the point of this website?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on August 28, 2008 - 10:56am.
I'm afraid that as with most posts concerning homosexual women, the Michael K's words have left a bitter taste in my mouth.
A lot of the above comments are no better than the mouth-breathing slurs that spill from the mouth of greasy bigots.
Homophobia is never cute.
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MK pokes fun at his own sexuality. It's tongue-in-cheek. He's obviously not that sensitive about it, which is a good thing. Being able to laugh at one's self is an indicator of self acceptance. I don't think he really gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Neither should Sam or Linds.
Wow. That is one ignorant, uneducated bitch.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on August 28, 2008 - 10:56am.
well said
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
I'm afraid that as with most posts concerning homosexual women, the Michael K's words have left a bitter taste in my mouth.
A lot of the above comments are no better than the mouth-breathing slurs that spill from the mouth of greasy bigots.
Homophobia is never cute.
Also, I'm shocked that a grown woman continues to write like a child. If a person cannot muster the energy to properly punctuate, then I doubt they can manage even the most basic of self-preservative behaviour.
I've never heard Samantha's work, but if she isn't capable of operating a shift key then I don't know who she'll make her way around a set of deck.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume? - DivasGone
This chick is a trully low and dirty version of her brother, and I don't think he's that attractive. She always looks so damn unkept and dirty. Anyway, she seems to have an urgent need to back to school because she can't write worth crap.
Hmmm... well, I honestly don't give a rat's fart about this ugly dirty butch or Blohan.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
*rolls eyes*
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
They fucking type the same.
Do any celebrities know how to type correctly? No capitalization, -these- all over the place, or NOTHING BUT CAPS.
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
I love it when celebrities ask us to "respect" their "privacy" and then do shit like this. Don't ask me to give you "privacy" if you plan on publicly fued, have some kind of class do that shit behind closed doors.
I wonder if Samantha wears women's undergarments. She probably stuffs the crotch of her man-Hanes with a map of downtown and a tin of Altoids.
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"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "always remember that not everyone has had the same advantages in life that you've had."
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Submitted by Rosemary Young on August 28, 2008 - 9:43am.
Someone that wealthy should be able to afford capital letters.
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LMAO!!!
Submitted by pickles on August 28, 2008 - 6:38am.
LOL - the spam bot mistook SamRo for a guy!
I agree that something terrible COULD happen, although I don't think it will involve biker butchies.
My hunch is that it will be an "accident" on the Plumbing aisle at The Home Depot in Hempstead, LI.
If I've learned one thing from dlisted, it's "Don't piss off the gayelle."
Submitted by pickles on August 28, 2008 - 9:38am.
hee hee good one. I hate the spam bot.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
Someone that wealthy should be able to afford capital letters.
Daddy Lohan better keep his mouth shut in the future. Or else SamRo is going to cut him like the bitch that he is.
Mean and lezzie don't mix well.
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"I'm the Phantom of the Opera. The gayest superhero ever! Beware my scented candles."
"Someone should submit the blog to passiveaggressivenotes.com. They'll tear it apart over there!"
Haa, too true!
Snowpiece - Thanks! Always happy to amuse!
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We Care A Lot
LOL - the spam bot mistook SamRo for a guy!
Sam Ronson is hotter and probably has a bigger peen than Mark Ronson. Totally not on board with that obsession. Plus you know SamRo is a gold medal Olympic muff diver.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
I know you're watching over us, Pap. I love you, I miss you already.
Mmm. . .good old toxic parents! His daughter finally develops a stable relationship, slows down on the drinking and drugging and embarrassing sexcapades, and the Lone Cellphone Slinger has to sabotage it.
It's not like Sam came out with a statement about his new fiancee. Oh, but Mr. Lindsay's Dad did.
Sam is hot and Lindsay likes her. That's enough reason for 99% of the population to qualify to be in a relationship. Mr. Lindsay's Dad is a douchebag.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on August 28, 2008 - 9:19am.
This would never have worked for the Hatfields and the McCoy's.
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Yes! Now they had style!
Maybe when these two can see beyond the hypocrisy of their statements they will take the higher road next time & not stoop to his level. But I get the lash out, papa Lohan is a douche.