At Least Her Mouth Isn't Wide Open
Papa Joe must be patting himself on the back fat this morning for getting his daughter on the cover of People Magazine. The photographer and his staff should win some award for getting Jessica Simpson to pose without her mouth looking like a fly trap. It probably took a few yards of chicken wire and gorilla glue to keep her insect hole shut for that long. The photographer also held a little birdie over the camera. Jessica was so transfixed with it that she closed her teeth. Good job!
The article is just as vomit-inducing as the cover line. I'm sure Jessica stole some of her statements from a Barry Manilow song.
In the issue, she queefs about her perfectly staged relationship with Tony Romo, "I just told him today, 'You're the love of my life,' I don't really ever say that to anybody." This bubblehead probably forgets her own name regularly, so I doubt she remembers what she told some tool hours before. Somewhere in the world Nick Lachey, John Mayer, Dane Cook, Adam Levine and Bam Margera are rolling their eyes.
The big-tittied frog is so serious about Romo that she's changed her e-mail address and cell number. "I don't want anybody that's been in my life [before] in my life anymore. I don't even want them to have any way of contacting me." Getting a hold of Jessica is easy. Just open up a jar of flies and that ho will come calling.
She goes on to say that Romo hasn't done the same thing for her, but she's not "a jealous girl." No, just a dumb one.
Finally, Jessica mouth farts about how she dealt with her break-up from John Mayer. "I had to regain self-esteem and self-value. I just love, so I don't understand when people can't do exactly what I do."
Okay, I think I figured out where she got all these quotes. She totally stole them from my sister's 6th grade diary. No offense to my sister.
Here's Jess wearing curtains stolen from a Cracker Barrel while performing at Niagara Falls Fallsview Casino (HA!) last night.
Hey - don't forget about Johnny Knoxville !!!!! She banged him too !!!!
She makes me vomit. Tell me why she makes so much money again? Cuz she knows the right people to fuck? Cuz she doesn't have any talent with shit...
At Least Her Mouth Isn't Wide Open ...but yet somehow her foot is still deep in it.
shr irks me a little because contrary to popular belief, I do think she can sing a little, she is not a bad looking girl, she's rich and yet she acts soooooo fuckin' dumb! I give her some props from not melting down like Britney and the rest though. Smart enough, I guess!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Bitch, please - you must have a mental disease.
Assume the position and get back down on your knees.
Frankly, I hope she does well at country music...
MK rarely give us country people to post threads about! 8-)
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
if she didn't have tig ole bitties she would never "find love"...
she really is the poster child for dumbness. She makes my braincells hurt.
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Bitch, please - you must have a mental disease.
Assume the position and get back down on your knees.
Um, so she is so desperate to keep him she is willing to isolate herself from EVERYONE from her "former" life and also takes a stab at JM and totally disrespects her marriage....oooooookay then.
I hate girls who drop their whole entire existence for a dude...ugh.
Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been
I *pray* He dumps her now. I really do.
Does this mean her marriage to Nick was a sham? She did "save" herself for him and all. she's admitted that Tony is the love of her life, so clearly Nick was just a root?
Give me a break! How I Found Love Again?! How about "How I Learned to Read," by Jessica Simpson. That's the kind of heartwarming and inspirational story that would make me pay the 50¢ extra that I could save by getting OK! instead.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Fuck off Jessica Simpson, no one gives a shit about you anymore.
I just *loathe* her. And the big tittied frog comment always makes me howl with laughter. Stupid twat.
Why do they always take pictures of her with her mouth open or doing shit like this!? It just pisses me off so much! She looks gigantic here...damn!
Your face!
That girl is such a waste of space. I bet People don't sell many mags this week.
some people never learn , she is so pathetic and is not even funny
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
serioulsy Jessica needs to start losing weight again her arms are looking huge. I loved those photos of her on prothinspo she is so skinny and pretty
UPDATE
DNA tested positive as being caylee hair
And there WAS a dead body in her trunk
Via CNN
:( RIP Caylee
IMO, Casey Anthony's mother is an accomplice, and she should be charged as such when they find that poor baby's body.
Cindy Anthony's stories stink almost as bad as Casey's. That woman is sitting on top of a pile of lies almost as high as her daughter's. And the father who's an ex-COP? He must not have been a very good one.
That whole thing just pisses me off beyond belief.
People Mag must be hurtin' if this is their cover story....WTF cares??? I don't even care and I'm commenting on it??? I need a drink.....
As a long-time Cowboy hater, I hope this "helps" Romo's career....0-16 hopefully.....he's the laughing stock of Texas for hooking up with this Bimbo....
I am not buying her "country act".
"With six you get eggroll and no change" Darth Vader
"She goes on to say that Romo hasn't done the same thing for her, but she's not "a jealous girl." No, just a dumb one."
He doesn't love you, dumbfuck. Cobble together the cents from your piggy bank and buy a clue.
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
Sooooo....I wonder how many Editors, Art Directors & Photographers Jessica had to screw to get on the cover of People Magazine.
Tony Romo ~ go to Home Depot and pick up a set of new balls ASAP.
I have a Sims 2 Freetime outfit that looks almost identical to that bullshit she's wearing. I used it for an I Love Lucy storyline.
Every time I look at Jessica Simpson now I can't help but think of Alan Jackson..."she's gone country...lookit them boots...she's gone country...back to her roots!"
Way to make Tony think you're a clingy, needy, psycho Jess. He can't break up with her ass now, even if he wanted to - bitch has bunny boiler face.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
GO THE FUCK AWAY JESSUCKA AND LEAVE THE REST OF US ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That dress looks like I made it.
Gee she sounds like a rocket scientist...not. And I have a People subscription which I'd now like to cancel if I have to read that crap.
Submitted by DivasGone on August 28, 2008 - 10:53am.
Submitted by M.E. on August 28, 2008 - 11:18am.
I'm sorry, but if my kid killed my grandchild, my child would be dead to me.
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My mother put it best, "If anything ever happened to Chloe (her granddaughter), you better HOPE they put you in jail. You wouldn't want to be anywhere where I could get my hands on you."
I tell you, Grandma G is no joke.
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I like Grandma G.
So she didn't tell Nick he was the love of her life.
Please make this no-talent big mouthed/titted frog go away.
I won't be watching any Dallas Cowboys home games this year and I don't want to see the camera scan to this ditz.
Submitted by M.E. on August 28, 2008 - 11:18am.
I'm sorry, but if my kid killed my grandchild, my child would be dead to me.
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My mother put it best, "If anything ever happened to Chloe (her granddaughter), you better HOPE they put you in jail. You wouldn't want to be anywhere where I could get my hands on you."
I tell you, Grandma G is no joke.
AJP - on the day that Casey finally resurfaced, the grandmother called the police and one of the things she said was that the car smelled like there was a dead body in it. Then recaneted and said that the smell could have been from pizza left in the car for 19 days. During which time, she WASHED the clothing Casey was wearing that she also said smelled like the car.
I think the mother (grandmother) suspects from what she has seen and been told and is trying to keep her daughter out of jail.
Oh wow. The Caylee Anthony case has made its way to Dlisted. *sigh* I have been HEARTBROKEN about this case since it happened. I just see those pictures of that gorgeous little girl and I just start to cry. It has seriously made me hug my little girl so much tighter every night. I can't imagine how that woman lives with herself everyday... how she could drive around with her dead baby's body in the back of her car while she was out partying and doing body shots.
I would have no problem flipping the switch on this woman my damn self. But I agree with the idea of throwing her to the wolves in prison. It sickens me to think how frightened Caylee must've been in the last moments of her short little life. That woman deserves to feel that every day for the rest of her life.
She is vile.
I'm sure this has been said already, but why would she want to tell the whole world about her relationship?! Telling the world that she told him that he's the LOVE OF HER LIFE?! Wtf. That's a serious jinx fuck up right there. Some people are so dumb that it scares me.
Submitted by M.E. on August 28, 2008 - 2:18pm.
yeah that is suspect!
i didnt know she said the stuff was smelling like death.
You think she knows the whole story but doesnt want to see her daughter on death row?
I dont know anything about the southern court system but there is always the talk of how the fry people quickly but i may be talking about Texas?
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
AJP - I've been out of the news loop so I just read about how Casey didn't even want the baby to begin with this morning. If the grandmother was so gung ho on her keeping the baby, the grandmother should have raised her.
But the grandmother smells a bit funny to me too. She totally changed her story and is covering for her daughter now. Wahing the clothes she reported to have smelled like "death"? WTF? It's called washing away evidence.
I'm sorry, but if my kid killed my grandchild, my child would be dead to me.
I hope Caylee gets some justice.
Submitted by M.E. on August 28, 2008 - 2:09pm
i wish they didnt have to bury her at all.
i worry her little soul cant rest if she cant find peace.
That grandmaw who wouldnt let her give her up for adoption should have raised her herself or let her just do what she wanted with adoption then this whole tragedy would not be going on.
Everybody loves a baby but they dont think about the hard job of raising one, let alone a 13 year old standing in the kitchen telling the mom she hates her casue she cant go out and be bad.
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
AJP - yes, the truth will come out. I just hope that the skank gives up the location of her daughters corpse so she can have a proper burial.
Fat.
the wheels of justice turn slow but believe the truth will always come out.
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Mrs. K - yes, been there myself.
Scariest face to look at when frying on acid? Steven Tyler. I took acid when I saw them in concert, his face was peeling off everytime he opened his huge mouth.
Its pretty disgusting that instead of putting that little girl on the cover, that desperate whore is all over it... maybe with more coverage Caylee's mother would get whats coming to her sooner
Hi Bradi, darlin'! I think your idea is fucking fabulous! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Mrs.Kravitz on August 28, 2008 - 1:50pm
I've done that before...
Then I watched "Aladdin" and peed myself...
GOOD TIMES INDEED!
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Is she pregnant?
OK, so this one time in college I took acid and spent quite a bit of time (it could have been 5 minutes, it could have been 5 hours) staring at myself in the mirror and alternately laughing and crying HYSTERICALLY.
Good times.
Anyskanky, I imagine that Jessica does that on a daily basis...without the benefit of LSD.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Nova - yes, exactly. My 5 year old threw the biggest hissy fit the other day when, at a softball game, I wouldn't let him walk to the restrooms himself, nor allow him to go into the MENS by himself.
I told him I had to walk him over there, that he had to go in the womens and I'd stand right at the enterence where I could see him.
He was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pissed!
dramaqueen365247 on August 28, 2008 - 1:45pm
♥♥♥♥♥ attack Drama!
xoxoxoxoxoxo.....
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on August 28, 2008 - 11:43am.
Submitted by FritoDorito on August 28, 2008 - 12:41pm.
I want Romo to win, not fuck up because the stupid mouth breather is in the stands.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's one of my dad's favorite expressions! Usually said in a very loud whisper about some redneck who's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than Daddy. I don't go out w/ him much.
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lol @ your daddy. I like him already.
The entire city is thinking that. There's a collective groan "GODDAMMIT! He's STILL going out with her, fuck!"
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by M.E. on August 28, 2008 - 10:29am.
Nova, Drama - I'm the same way with kids. I freak out if I hear about something like this, bawl. Ugh. I am so terrified of somehting ever happening to my kids that I'm a bit over protective.
I'd rather be safe than sorry.
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ME TOO!! I hate it when people tell me I'm too protective....of course I am!! THESE ARE MY CHILDREN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!!
So yeah...I'm protective. :D
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation. -ERIC CARTMAN
"found love again"??? I didn't know that this was such a hard thing to do. Us regular folks do it on daily basis. Argh...she's so fucking annoying. Can't wait till he dumps her lol
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 28, 2008 - 12:42pm.
I would forgive that whore all (well, most) of her past sins if that's how Romo broke up w/ this moron!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247