Would You Hit It?
Teri Hatcher is looking sexy hot! The Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe Diet is really working for her! For serious! It's the Queen King of Pop working it in an Ann Taylor Loft blazer and pajama pants at the Planet Hollywood Hotel in Las Vegas last night. I think we finally know what happened to Bubbles. Jacko is wearing him on his head. Honestly, couldn't Raquel Welch fix Jacko up with a wig that doesn't look like Little Richard's merkin?
That being said, I'd hit it in a pool filled with Jesus Juice. Well, a hardcore slut likes variety and isn't afraid to try new things. All you gotta do is close your eyes, hold your breath and do it for the sake of your slutty reputation.
P.S. - Click here to see what Jacko would look like today if he didn't eff up his face.
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YMAtT!!!!
Oh! You talked work first so i have to vent!!!!!!
I have a contractor that disappeared for a few months. Turns out he was in jail. Turns out he was assaulting his step-kid. So I yanked every scrap of business from that POS, right down to the machine. Well, he filed a contempt charge and our lawyers say I have to give the machine back. Dirty child touching shit hole!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
SCARY! that it took me almost a whole minute to figure out if it was teri hatcher or jacko! it is jacko, right??
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 28, 2008 - 4:12pm
OffT: I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!! Fkn annoying-ass mofos bugging my ass all day! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
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I CONCUR! Mother fuckers! I am two seconds away from snapping. I've had one of the most irritating women hovering over my shoulder mumbling to herself for the past two hours.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
I can't hate the Wacko Jacko. I just can't. His music was the standard to follow when I was growing up. No matter how fast his face melts, I can't hate on him. He actually looks good here...better than Teri Hatchetface.
Aw Nova! Now you took me from bitch to blubber...
=(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUXokVwgbWY
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Snowy! Thanks!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
NovaNightly--thanks! :)
OffT: I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!! Fkn annoying-ass mofos bugging my ass all day! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
UR MOM: it just flows so beautifully!****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Wow Mamacita Taco....you really have a knack for poetry!
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation. -ERIC CARTMAN
He saddens me so much...This is my childhood right here...my early teenage years of putting his pictures and posters up on my walls and listening to all his albums. I adored him as he was....but now....there really arent words for it.
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation. -ERIC CARTMAN
You guys...you're making me blush *hides face in hands* :)
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Your mom
you are the poet cum laude of the Dlisted..
"sniffs, wipes tear"
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 28, 2008 - 12:58pm.
I HATE being the presence of your greatness.
It makes me jelly.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
I know a man who makes me cringe
More than any gayelle ginge
He's turned nomadic since he was banned
From his pedo-paradise ranch, Neverland.
He's got some children--had to bank it
The youngest one is nicknamed "Blanket."
He makes the boys relaxed and loose
By offering his Jesus Juice
On his carousel wearing rose-colored glasses,
They gulp in confusion as he pinches their asses.
"Wanna see a Thriller?" he asked a young fan,
Stuck his hand down his pants and pulled out his wee man
They took him to court and they handled his case
And at one point I think his nose fell off his face
So he visited his surgeon for the 801st time
Who urged, "Quit lightening your skin or you'll look like a mime!
And God help your poor soul should you have to fart--
Your whole fricken' body would just fall apart!"
If he tries really hard, perhaps one day he might
Get a good gig in Vegas with his name up in lights
It sure would beat getting hooked on 'el smacko'
But what else can you do when your name's Wacko Jacko?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Jesus H. Christ!
He looks like Edvard Munch's "Scream". No Halloween costume necessary for this dude. Tragically awful...
No, no, no...they are those funny sunglasses, the ones that come with nose and moustache. He has no nose.
I know he says he has Vitiligo...that disease that makes the skin all blotchy...but did anyone ever explain why he has it so evenly all over?? Its kinda creepy....ok..it IS creepy because how the hell would you do that shizz? Sit in a fucking clorox bath for 5 years????
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation. -ERIC CARTMAN
Submitted by xplnyrslf on August 28, 2008 - 12:29pm.
I'm surprised his nose stays in place, with those sunglasses.
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WORD!! I bet he has his sunglasses rubber-banded onto his head so they dont sit on that mummified nasal cavity he calls a nose.
and WTF is up with the pajama pants? He looks like a schoolroom skeleton with a cheep halloween wig on.
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation. -ERIC CARTMAN
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 28, 2008 - 3:24pm.
I don't see the problem, I never leave the house without my tux jacket and jammie pants, all the other inmates or jellis..
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Why do you think they're always knocking the soap out of your hand? They want REVENGE.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
I'm surprised his nose stays in place, with those sunglasses.
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 28, 2008 - 3:24pm.
I don't see the problem, I never leave the house without my tux jacket and jammie pants, all the other inmates or jellis..
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can i just tell you guys something????? I was out of town staying at a friend's house this past weekend. It was the weekend from HE!! I got locked out of her house at 7am on Saturday morning in my pajamas (basically sweats and and Go Tulane t-shirt) with my purse and keys. I didn't get back in until 2 hours later. It was starting to get hot and I was sweatier than JLO. I climbed through the window and bruised the heck out of my legs.
This story has many segments.
Britneys cheap ... on August 28, 2008 - 3:21pm
OMG!!!
♥♥♥♥
xoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!!!
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Someone may have already pointed this out, but it looks like he's wearing Solange's shoes on his head.
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
he looks like the walking dead...his kids should be traumatized by looking this creature who calls himself their "father"...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
Well if I knew what the fuck it was I would hit it with something large and heavy.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Someone's been cruising Delano...
the DUDE! abides...
What happened to you?!
"With six you get eggroll and no change" Darth Vader
BCAW I missed you too, we were talking about you the other day like where is my BCAWWWWWWWW
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
I don't see the problem, I never leave the house without my tux jacket and jammie pants, all the other inmates or jellis..
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
"I’m an adult female so MJ wouldn’t be interested anypedo."
Haa! Exactly.
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We Care A Lot
Aw fuck, I lost..
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
*blinks* BCAW. WTF I call that a freaking SweatShop right thar! right THAR! I miss u. *sniffles* Mother May I wipe my runny nose on your chest? Or should we do red light, green light.. RED LIGHT!! *moves forward*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
He may be a creepy delusional pedophile, but in the words of Dave Chappelle, "HE MADE THRILLER!!!"
I've missed you sluts so much!! This new job sucks can you beleive I can't be on for the 8 hours I work?? I actually have to work-BARF!!
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Hey sexy wanna come over and play Guitar Hero?
Submitted by oklahoma on August 28, 2008 - 2:19pm.
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*in a Boy Scout uniform*
Ugh. Fucking freakshowpedo.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
I just read that article and the creepiest part is when he talks about Blanket (I'll never get over that name). He's going to play stage father, like the original Papa Joe. I feel sorry for that kid.
"Michael sees a lot of his youthful self in his children, especially in Prince Michael II (nicknamed Blanket). All three have musical ability but he thinks Blanket is going to be the next star in the family."
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My dick may not function, but I have not lost my smile!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on August 28, 2008 - 3:17pm.
I'd hit him with an ADULT sized blow up doll and that's about fucking it.
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*watches Michael Jackson switch out Adult blow up doll for kid sized doll instead*
Every time I see this guy I wonder how his poor kids are. They never had a chance.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Only with a 2-by-4!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I'd hit him with an ADULT sized blow up doll and that's about fucking it.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Sure! Right after I hit him.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/extramustard/images/Crypt.Keeper.jpg
Seriously, it looks like they exhumed Jackie O.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by snowpiece on August 28, 2008 - 7:14pm.
ELB LOL why what do you mean? my bf HATES those pants if that was your point, LOL
WHAT???? I didnt mean to imply anything!! You sexy thang :o)
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“Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).”
Had he not fucked with his face, he would have been an attractive peepaw.
IF YOU TOOK 6 INCHES OF THE HAIR..IT IS KATIE HOLMES??
OH
MY
FREAKING
GAWD
BCAW IN THE HIZZOUSE!!!! I am going to dance a JIG in my PERIOD PJ'S!
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
I'll hit it square in the gut and steal its Jesus Juice!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
How about if I chewed my arm off instead.
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
BCAW!!!! HI!!!!! *automatically takes clothes off* Oh you have me really excited...
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Snowy!!
That's morning formal wear right there!I always dress up my pj's with a blazer...I'm fancy and shit!
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Hey sexy wanna come over and play Guitar Hero?
ELB LOL why what do you mean? my bf HATES those pants if that was your point, LOL
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"