The SeX Files
David Duchovny has checked into rehab because he loves to do ze sexy times way too much. Like WAY too much. Like he's addicted to fucking. I guess that's a bad thing? David issued this statement to People:
"I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."
48-year-old David has been married to Tea Leoni for over 10 years. They have two kiddies together. David currently plays a shameless man whore on the show "Californication." Maybe this shit is research?
The first thing I thought when I read this was, "I'll be your enabler. Use your addiction on me! My no-no hole can take it. It's made of iron. You're Wino and I'm your crack pipe. Now smooooke me."
Then I thought that some scandalous shit must be on its way. I mean, when a celebrity bitch gets a DUI, they automatically check into rehab. David must have been caught with his chonies down. I just hope that shit was caught on high-definition!
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umm...how do they treat this problem in rehab????
btw what is DD doing in that pic??
"ze sexy times way too much. Like WAY too much."
*gulps* I never heard of too much, what are the symptoms...how do you know when enough is enough?
I'm asking for a friend.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
How horrible. Poor Tea. It takes a special woman to stay married to someone like that.
Submitted by mike on August 28, 2008 - 9:07pm.
I know, I know. *hangs head in shame* He's just so pretty....
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Shit is about to hit, I can smell it. Somehow I doubt he's the blind item, but I'm sure he's been caught in some messy mess to prompt him to PUBLICLY check into sexhab. I mean,really.
That is all.
Submitted by loric on August 28, 2008 - 8:35pm.
Y'all cut Christian Bale an inordinate amount of slack.
I used to be co workers with Tea Leoni's cousin, a guy, but we never asked him shit about her and David D...ANYWAY, boring who cares. i DO have to wonder if his dick is a big as his nose
Submitted by mike on August 28, 2008 - 9:02pm.
Christian Bale is, umm, a little high strung, but I just can't see him being interested in men.
Maybe I'll just board the boat on the river de-nial.
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
another actor, with another addiction?
Say it isn't so!
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 28, 2008 - 7:31pm.
I have...*digs in pockets* 5p & a hairband!
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You get extra gratitude for throwing in a ghetto cock ring.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 28, 2008 - 5:33pm.
I'm gagging as I wonder what's in those babushka dolls.
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Or, what else they are used for?
P.S. Love your avie. It's righteous.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I'm gagging as I wonder what's in those babushka dolls.
Submitted by loric on August 28, 2008 - 8:29pm.
I just don't want to believe DD is the blind item. I still think the blind item is Will Smith.
I still think it's Christian Bale. Bitch is wound way too tightly.
Totally didn't see this one coming. damn.
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http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Team Troll - cause Spencer is a douche.
I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on August 29, 2008 - 1:27am.
I'll start the "MK needs to treat Mulder in rehab" fund...taking donations now!
*
I have...*digs in pockets* 5p & a hairband!
P.S - Hey MK!
~♥~Keep Getting Better 19/8/08?~♥~
"When he [Max] laughs, it just lights up my whole world" ~ Christina Aguilera
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 8:27pm.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:26pm.
Naw. I'll suck em all up. Even with glue. I've tried.
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Wth, do you have a hoover for a colon? Wait..I think I'm kind of jealous.
MK's vacu-ass brings all the boys to the yard.
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 7:28pm
Oh shit, you could probably squeeze into my sexy "getting laid" dresses, and borrow my red wig... hot hot hot!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I don't care what he got caught doing, he is one sexy mofo in Californication. Hawtness!
LOL He saw the two chicks, one cup and decided to make his a one dick wonder in a cup....
ps,
i have kinda bigg old boobies...can I sput sparklies on them too? I love a partay.
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Deal MK - you help David and I'll take care of Tea Leoni.
Am I the only person deeply disturbed by this picture? What with the teacup, extended pinky, and stacking dolls?
Hope he's nice to Miley Cyrus while he's at the sex addict facility.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
True story: When I was four, I tried to glue glitter all over my forehaed, and one of the big plastic ones went into my eye and almost blinded! FYI: It woudl be perfect as a brown-eye brightener!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I just don't want to believe DD is the blind item. I still think the blind item is Will Smith.
I choose to believe DD is going to rehab for research for a movie role. *walks away whistling*
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 5:27pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 28, 2008 - 7:25pm.
What does brown and red make?
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Uh, bred?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on August 28, 2008 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by yo_mama on August 28, 2008 - 7:21pm.
could DD be the blind item about the violent closeted homo who raped his ex boyfriend?
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Awwww... that's... aw. It was minorly hot when it might have been Christian Bale but DD? Just... awww...
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If that turns out to be DD, a little rehab isn't going to save his career if that news item makes its way to the light.
That said, I just can't see Duchovney as anything but straight for some reason. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. I would have been his underage groupie at the height of his X-Files fame... (my signature is even from that show *embarrassed*)
"Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, prefunctory gift that nobody ever asks for..."
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on August 28, 2008 - 7:27pm.
FOR REAL! And I'm going to need some sexy alien outfit and that shit COSTS. I'm sure he likes to role play.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on August 28, 2008 - 8:24pm.
Submitted by yo_mama on August 28, 2008 - 7:21pm.
could DD be the blind item about the violent closeted homo who raped his ex boyfriend?
I think that was Will Smith.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 5:26pm.
Amateur. One word - sequins.
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Sequins are too low class. Two words: Swarkovski crystals.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I'll start the "MK needs to treat Mulder in rehab" fund...taking donations now! Don't be cheap, you sluts... I know y'all work the corner during lunch...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
David, like all men is a sex addict. What's new?
~♥~Keep Getting Better 19/8/08?~♥~
"When he [Max] laughs, it just lights up my whole world" ~ Christina Aguilera
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:26pm.
Naw. I'll suck em all up. Even with glue. I've tried.
Are you 'mos talking about Bedazzling your stinks? I guess it takes the term "hot glue gun" to a different level...
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 28, 2008 - 7:25pm.
What does brown and red make?
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 8:23pm.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:22pm.
And I'll make sure to glitter my hole too. Who doesn't love a glittery hole?
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Amateur. One word - sequins.
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 5:23pm.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:22pm.
And I'll make sure to glitter my hole too. Who doesn't love a glittery hole?
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Bright red?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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he doesn't look like a fucker to me. well, this one picture is an exception.
Submitted by yo_mama on August 28, 2008 - 7:21pm.
could DD be the blind item about the violent closeted homo who raped his ex boyfriend?
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Awwww... that's... aw. It was minorly hot when it might have been Christian Bale but DD? Just... awww...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by yo_mama on August 28, 2008 - 7:21pm.
It's possible. He had a summer movie.
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 5:20pm.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:19pm.
Good thinking. I'll meet you there. Make sure the sign was written with a SHARPIE
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Be sure you're in the correct dorm. Don't want to shock the ladies.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:22pm.
And I'll make sure to glitter my hole too. Who doesn't love a glittery hole?
more like he got caught with his knob in the jam.
Submitted by Michael K on August 28, 2008 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:19pm.
Good thinking. I'll meet you there. Make sure the sign was written with a SHARPIE
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I have some glitter glue too. Maybe if the "FUCK" is sparkly it will catch his attention.
I hope that's an extra large coffee mug hiding his junk. Mmmmmmmm...........
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Cada dia se aprende algo nuevo.
could DD be the blind item about the violent closeted homo who raped his ex boyfriend?
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on August 28, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Ummmmmm..maybe it's just me, but why would you issue a press release statement like that, about that ?? and asking for privacy no less ?
Very strange.
Fox Mulder is sexy as friggin hell though lol.
I'd help him through his addiction.
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Hahaha. Seriously. If he'd just entered the facility without releasing a statement, people might never have known at all... but a celebrity can't have that, I guess.
He's probably sleazy as hell, but I rather like DD. He seems like he has a good sense of humour.
"Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, prefunctory gift that nobody ever asks for..."
Submitted by speakit on August 28, 2008 - 7:19pm.
Good thinking. I'll meet you there. Make sure the sign was written with a SHARPIE
The first thing I thought when I read this was, "I'll be your enabler. Use your addiction on me! My no-no hole can take it. It's made of iron. You're Wino and I'm your crack pipe. Now smooooke me."
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Damn MK. Why not just go to the facility, drop your drawers, spread your cheeks and press your ass against the glass? BRB.. I'll make you a "PLEASE FUCK ME" sign.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on August 28, 2008 - 7:18pm.
Because the cum is going to hit the fan soon and he's covering his ass (and penis) first. At least that's what I hope in my wildest dreams.