Michael Lohan Is On The Road To Becoming The Worst Person Ever!
When someone close to you passes away, you usually mourn their death by crying, watching Sally Field movies or eating a whole tub of Breyer's. Not Michael Lohan. His daddy died and what does he do? Issue a statement to OK! Magazine trashing White Oprah. Naturally. Michael is re-defining the meaning of "famewhore." Here's his rant:
"My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina's attorney. Let's see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral.THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that's par for the course with Dina! She didn't even send a card or visit when he was sick."
Pepaw Lohan was probably taking his last breaths when Michael said, "Sorry Pop! I gotta run. OK!'s offices are closing in a bit. See ya when I see ya." Even Satan is saying, "Damn. That's cold."
I'm sure he'll trash White Oprah some more while delivering his daddy's eulogy.
Will Michael please just crawl into a rotten apple already and stay there for the rest of his days.
His father died in his arms? The poor man probably died of embarrassment.
He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
Submitted by Justina on August 30, 2008 - 4:28am.
I wish LezLo could trade him in for Irv Richards.
LOL - I'm trying to whore out Irv Richards to Charo in another thread!
omg just shut up already! he's just embarrassing himself
I wish LezLo could trade him in for Irv Richards.
This man is the epitome of a douche bag. Not only that, but there's something really creepy about him.
If no one buys the magazines these asshats are in, maybe they will go away.
Desshhpicable.....*spitting all over my screen as I say this*
Love,
Daffy Duck.
Aaaargh!He is such an annoying attention seeker! Fuck!
All i can do is thank my lucky-fucking stars i wasn't born a Lohan.
**** "I Love Lamp" ****
So his father "just literally died in his arms" and the first thin he wants to talk about is his ex-wife. Listen, I don't care what anyone says...the sex must have been good and he is obviously not over this woman cause he keeps bringing up her name every chance he gets. When you constantly talk about someone, good or bad...there is obviously still something there*coughDeniseRichardscough*
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Dreamhypnotique ~ right on!!
Good insights on Lohan loser father.
Actually, Pepaw Lohan is the smartest one in the family: he got out of this mess.
Dear Michael Lohan,
STFU YOU SHITTY DOUCHENOZZLE
Sincerely Everyone
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
Submitted by Notoriousrem_22 on August 29, 2008 - 9:35am.
No one cruising these 'celebrity' gossip boards has any right to tell anyone of these idiots to go away. We are the reason these fuckin idiots are 'famous', instead of commenting on shit about people you 'hate' just let it go THEN maybe the bloggers will get the point that NO ONE CARES about minute to minute updates about fuckin losers.
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You have a point, but then again, you're on the site too, reading and commenting on this crap. Glass houses, man.
Submitted by ab on August 29, 2008 - 8:26am
Ha! You made me think of that stupid Will Ferrel/ Horatio Sanz SNL skit when Josh Jackson hosted... That one was all sorts of hilarious!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I have a feeling ML's poppa probably "touched" the kids, especially Lindsay... which is why the family probably wants nothing to do with him. Why this theory? Well, Lilo's constant bed-hopping doesn't just stem from daddy-abandonment issues, but probably something a lot more sinister, sadly. Anyway, what a shitty way to try to gather sympathy...He ain't getting any from me, or anyone else either from the looks of things.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
He seems like one of those people who's all about himself and can't believe it when others aren't as obsessed with him and his personal dramas as he is.
Many people go through such a phase when they're in adolescence -- Mr. Lohan's "me, Me, ME" stage of adolescence is about thirty-five years too old.
He has such an exaggerated sense of self-importance and seethes hypocrisy; he could be beating up a hooker he refused to pay and the pimp would punch him out, and Mr. Lohan would blog about how the pimp is immoral for exploiting women.
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"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "always remember that not everyone has had the same advantages in life that you've had."
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Can he be put back in jail for doing this? Please?
He just did another rant for x-17, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think he is just trying to get through to his goofy daughter and venting about his asshole exwife. I think Dina is the worst. I mean wouldn't it be hard to watch your (unstable addict) daughter being obsessed with the likes of Samantha Ronsen???? One thing he did say that I have to respect is that he doesn't care about being Lindsey's "friend".... he is trying to be a parent. A concept foreign to Dina. It's kind of sick and sad he is forced to do it through the media... but it is what it is.
Un-fucking-believable.
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Cada dia se aprende algo nuevo.
The only reason OK magazine give a rat's shit about this asshat is because he has a famous daughter. If she disappears, OK magazine suddenly will be too busy to take his numerous, hate filled calls.
I'm surprised he doesn't call them when he takes a dump to give them an "update". I'm sure if he is constipated, it's White Oprah's fault for not caring.
I officially hate Michael Lohan for making me feel a little sorry for White Oprah!
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
THE WRONG FATHER DIED!
@Snow..Strictly a hit-n-runner these days, not sat in front of a PC all day anymore. Got a long weekend, thought I'd drop by and snark for a few..all is well..
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Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Submitted by Mel-Tang on August 29, 2008 - 8:49am.
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*runs off stage and crumples in a corner*
But I'm 1000% sure it's Christian Bale's poo baby!
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
thorny: same shit different day but I have been hoping to run into you here since I relapsed from my dlisted detox.....hope you are well. ♥
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
A Lohan wake is probably a good time.
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if your firme with me, im firme with you simple as that.
This is how I mourn, doesn't everyone do it this way?
I called People and US Weekly when my kitty passed.
Michael Lohan is NOW a bigger tool than Papa Joe.
Congrats dick head.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
@Snow..Sup sug..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Submitted by Oxygen on August 29, 2008 - 8:18pm.
Submitted by joanne on August 29, 2008 - 9:15am.
I didn't know we had to call OK magazine when a family member dies.
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I'm trying very hard not to but....LMAO
me too ;)
thorny: r u still here????
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Johnny Depp will go off the deep end if he sees the clown guts.
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RIMADYL KILLS
omg...this guy is an asshole...lilo really never stood a chance with the dna of white oprah and this fuck coursing through her veins...ali's future is even less bright...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
CTH--Wherever clown guts lie, I feel a great percentage safer.
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
NotoriousRem, are you Tori Spelling? I am convinced that you are. lol
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Stock Broker on August 29, 2008 - 8:38am.
Your Mom Ate ~ your grasp of writing is like a sonnet on a dewy spring morning.
Between you, Clarisse and Christine Hoff I feel as though I am laying on a lush meadow hearing the chants of doves in the distant.
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You flatter me, darling...but those aren't doves you hear--those are the toilet bats!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
OMG, ISprainedMyUvula just found out that Michael was the father of her poo baby. Maury confirmed the DNA results on his show this morning.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I would hate to have him as a relative..much less a father...Hopefully he just started acting this way because if not then Lindsay must've had a rough childhood...Hell he's probably one of the reasons that she's gay now..Shame on you Michael
www.NycCelebs.com
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 29, 2008 - 9:37am.
......of a herpes infected cooze on a fifty year old truck stop hooker who has butt sex with hillbilly truckers.
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HEY! DON'T BRING MY MOM INTO THIS.
Your mom
clown guts! Thanks, now I know what I'm having for lunch.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
The honor's all mine, Clareeeeeeeeeese. :)
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
@Notoriousrem_22..Jumping on a celeb blogg to tell everyone to get back to work is an oxymoron...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Your Mom Ate ~ your grasp of writing is like a sonnet on a dewy spring morning.
Between you, Clarisse and Christine Hoff I feel as though I am laying on a lush meadow hearing the chants of doves in the distant.
First he disses her partner, now he disses her mother. Yes, I know she's a cunt of a mother, but still. I don't think Michael should expect a reconciliation with Hohan any time soon. Don't expect her NOW at the funeral, you tool!!
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Proof that Phoebe Price is over 35.
She's running for US President!!!
http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Phoebe&last=Price
My bad!
I'm calling OK as we speak..
he's not good enough to be the poo baby, unless he's the poo baby of a herpes infected cooze on a fifty year old truck stop hooker who has butt sex with hillbilly truckers.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
What a disgusting low life, no wonder the kids are fucked up
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Stock Broker,
It is an honor to be in the same category as YMAtT and CTH.
Thank you!
*pats self on back*
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
No one cruising these 'celebrity' gossip boards has any right to tell anyone of these idiots to go away. As much as we want them to they never will, there are too many people who sit in desks working fuckin retarded jobs that fawn over this shit 24-7. We are the reason these fuckin idiots are 'famous', instead of commenting on shit about people you 'hate' just let it go THEN maybe the bloggers will get the point that NO ONE CARES about minute to minute updates about fuckin losers. I know that I dont have a 'day job' but I know most of you guys do, how do you manage to comment on every post and never get fired or in trouble? You guys are good I woulda been canned 8 YEARS ago if I tried to fuck around on these sites all day long.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on August 29, 2008 - 9:31am.
The C Word, no but I was worried about my bro who lives in Port Hardy. Did you read that we had 15 minor quakes between Monday and Wednesday? Time to start buying beachfront property in Alberta.
O/T...Still a prick.
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I did hear that....glad everyone is alright! :)
OnT: If he's 'born again', then God needs to do some serious smiting.
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You fargin sneaky bastage.
Submitted by Stock Broker on August 29, 2008 - 8:29am.
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It's my intense every-day outright rage that colors my vocabulary like a rainbow made of a clown's bloody guts!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
The C Word, no but I was worried about my bro who lives in Port Hardy. Did you read that we had 15 minor quakes between Monday and Wednesday? Time to start buying beachfront property in Alberta.
O/T...Still a prick.
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 29, 2008 - 8:27am.
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But how will my riveting news bloop reach the masses if you don't call OK magazine?
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ