Chin Love
Carrie Underwears and magical dolphin person Michael Phelps have planned their first date. The two haven't met, but started texting each other after Michael heard Carrie thinks he's "cute." Off topic: Can someone please make Carrie an appointment to the optometrist. It's time for a check-up.
Anychinfuckers, a source told The National Enquirer (via PopCrunch) that Michael doesn't want their first date to involve any eating. WTF. He apparently wrote to Carrie, “I’m not so sure you’d want to see me eat! It might not make a great first impression.” Not see him eat?! What the hell kind of first date is that? Eating is the only thing I do on the first date and I'm not talking about food.
The source also said that Carrie is a little hesitant to start dating again. “Carrie needs someone who is going to stick by her. She was devastated when her relationship with Tony Romo broke. The last thing she needs is a relationship with another high-profile celebrity who’s going to end up loving and leaving her.” Who said anything about a relationship?! Just take a ride on his dolphin fin and leave it at that.
It's best if she just leaves it at that and uses plenty of protection! Can you imagine these two reproducing? Carrie would pop out Rumer Willis' chin.
Submitted by nia on August 31, 2008 - 1:09am
The Phelps closeups were annoying, after all there were other people on the team.
Submitted by marishka on August 31, 2008 - 10:42am
Yuck, guys that talk in the 3rd person creep me out.
Submitted by marishka on August 31, 2008 - 9:42am.
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that was incredibly funny LOL!! god..it just goes to show that even amazing olympic champs can be world class NERDS! geez...let's hope he picked up some new pick-up lines :)
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
Come on! Look at him! Phelps makes Mick Jagger look almost attractive. Also, my brother went out a few times with Phelps in Ann Arbor and he says the guy talks about himself in the "third person." So when he sees a hot chick, he walks up and says,"Michael Phelps thinks you're hot. Michael Phelps would like to take you home."
UGH!
Submitted by stake_spike on August 30, 2008 - 8:40pm.
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im trying to hold onto the hope that he isn't an asshole!i've heard some posters say that they've met him or know some of the same people and that he was a jerk, but maybe they caught him at a bad time?!? i don't know...*sigh* i like to think that when someone spends that much time training and sacrificing for a goal that they have a certain level of maturity and humility...but of course that isn't always the case...
as for HOT swimmers Lezak just flat out did it for me LOL! Piersol wasn't too bad either :) i found myself wishing the camera would pan a little more to the right of phelps when they were receiving their medal LOL!
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
Submitted by nia on August 30, 2008 - 9:04pm
That would be all fine and dandy but a Dlisted reader here said she went to school with him and he was an asshole. Kind of hard to believe considering the way the media portrays him but most swimmers are as$holes or at least the ones I've swam with were.
It's like they feel underappreciated because not many people consider swimming to be a sport so they end up being jackasses who spend their lives training for something that nobody really pays attention too.
And he may not be movie star good looking but I guess he wouldn't be considered bad looking at least in the swimming world. I mean most of them have amazing bodies but damn! A lot of the swimmers were fug, except Eamon's hot ass and for some ungodly reason I was sort of drawn to Bernard but I think it was just because of his asshole comments, smugness and the fact that he was the tallest swimmer. What is with women and assholes?
awwwaahhh...leave poor phelpsie alone LOL!! the poor thing just spent the last 12-14 years of his life training for this momement! everyone loves a winner and i doubt that he is lacking for companionship..even if he has a girlfriend! he isn't HOT, but he's not hideous either! he looks like any other guy i went to school with and he comes off like a very sweet person...im sure most girls when asked, except that rude skank amanda beard, would say they thought he was cute...how could you not like those dumbo ears and crooked smile? there are PLENTY of other celebs out there that have jacked up teeth..his aren't the worst that i've seen! considering how badly Carrie Underwood was treated by her last bf, she could do worse!
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
hmmm did she bring a paper bag.
Gee, Michael, why the long face?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
i thought he had a steady girlfriend....
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lizzieb on August 16, 2008 - 9:05am.
The sad thing is that Madge would look good for 50 if she stopped trying to look 35. And ate a few pies, drank a few pints and had a laugh. I don't know why we get so upset about aging when the al
what a grill
Michael Phelps really needs to look in the mirror, this guy was not treated kindly in the looks department and that's being generous.
Some reporter blinded sided her to comment on Michael Phelps, she didn't have a clue, and said he was cute...The media will have them getting married within weeks...
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
He's busted in the face, but with $100 mil in the bank, I could live with that.
Phelps looks like an asshole...I wonder if Carrie finds most assholes cute...AND I thought the exact same thing, MK, girlfriend needs to get her eyes checked...or maybe she's blinded by all the dollar signs...!
Your face!
Michael Phelps is my favorite player. By the way, I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said he is only intersted in dating wealthy young women on that site.
You know what's pathetic I just saw this fool on a Rosetta Stone Commercial. He actually didn't look that bad but I think in one scene he was wearing a hat so. He needs to be wearing something on his head 24/7, he looks so much better when you can't see his big ass head and dumbo ears.
Submitted by Jeebusss on August 29, 2008 - 3:36pm.
He's got major short bus mouth. He looks like he should be wearing a helmet and having his mom pin his mittens onto his coat.
LMAO!!!
Submitted by moseley on August 29, 2008 - 12:49pm.
This is from the Holy Moly mail-out...
A mole had the pleasure of being on shift during Michael Phelps' visit to London this week...
He was still hammered this morning when checking out, almost falling down the stairs whilst still drunk, with five pieces of toast crammed into his pockets.
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What?! Toast in his pockets!
"Put your hand out the window, feel the force" Darth Vader
I love me some Mr. Phelps. I think he's just adorable.
I'd use and abuse. Use and abuse. He's got the bod for it, and I bet he's got something nice in the speedo's too. Just my guess.
He's got major short bus mouth. He looks like he should be wearing a helmet and having his mom pin his mittens onto his coat.
I'd totally hit it. He needs those Dumbo ears stapled down.... however they could come in handy to hold on to while riding his dolphin fin.
His whole life is swimming, training, eating and pooping. He probably does not have time for a girlfriend.
He better just watch his ass. I'll never forget the DUI he got in Maryland. Never!
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You're under arrest, sugar!
You're better off not eating, Carrie. My dinner would come up if I had to sit across from this fug.
With all the hot guys in Country, why would you look further?
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 11:00am.
Don't worry he'll go away soon. The World Championships are next July and according to the press he has to get ready for a showdown with Bernard so let's hope he goes back to training. I'm so over Phelps mania.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on August 29, 2008 - 11:53am.
It's the douche complex. Women love douches and assholes.
Submitted by moseley
Damn English girls must be hard up, but then again they're used to the teeth. What 3 women (you'd have to find 3 women who would want to f-ck him and I'm sure that's not an easy thing to do) would want to sleep with that?!?! No wonder they needed all that vodka.
A mole had the pleasure of being on shift during Michael Phelps' visit to London this week...
Something is wrong with this guy, great swimmer but the attention he is getting is going to destroy him. He's probaby not used to the hard stuff.
Submitted by moseley
This is from the Holy Moly mail-out...
A mole had the pleasure of being on shift during Michael Phelps' visit to London this week...
He was still hammered this morning when checking out, almost falling down the stairs whilst still drunk, with five pieces of toast crammed into his pockets. Why was he so tired? Could it have something to do with the bottles of vodka that he brought up from the bar to his room or the three ladies who also spent the night?
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Why does this make me like him?
Boozing and whoring it up, huh? I bet the Chinese athletes are soooooo jealous. All they get for their Olympic efforts is more training and the opportunity to not be shot or jailed or both.
Ewww.. that dude is super dooper fugly, man!. What's so cute about him? his hair sucks, his eyes suck, he has dumbo ears, a big bulbous nose and fucked up teeth. I don't know if he's nice or not, but I wouldn't take a second look at him if I see him walking the street.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
This is from the Holy Moly mail-out...
A mole had the pleasure of being on shift during Michael Phelps' visit to London this week...
He was still hammered this morning when checking out, almost falling down the stairs whilst still drunk, with five pieces of toast crammed into his pockets. Why was he so tired? Could it have something to do with the bottles of vodka that he brought up from the bar to his room or the three ladies who also spent the night?
MK you are freaking hilarious, but I agree; she MUST need her eyes checked. Super swimmer or not, that is one homely looking boy.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
LOL
Aniston's fashion choices do not scream desperate, that would be Mimi.
"Society sooner or later must return to its lost leader,the cultured and fascinating liar. . ."
Oscar Wilde
Oh please. Phelps is going to be on the celebrity fuck train while he is still a hot commodity. Yes he looks like a troll, but alot of women will still want to do a gold-medal winner. No way is he going to "date" anyone seriously.
I don't care what he looks like, I'm just glad that someone that has ADHD & was teased a lot when he was younger can be a positive role model (so far) My son has it and has been following Phelps thru the interviews and has said that he thinks it's cool what he's accomplished even though it's hard to concentrate...in a weird way, my son thinks it's ok now to have ADHD, but still says he doesn't have Aspergers (which he does)
Submitted by Mel-Tang on August 29, 2008 - 10:21am.
I don't like Carrie, but I can't find a reason to hate on Phelps yet. Yes he's been overexposed, but there is always one every Olympics.
He doesn't seem like a bad guy. So what if he's not beautiful in the face. As a mom, I would be heartbroken if people were making fun of my son because of the way he looked.
Now, if he is a douche or turns into one, then I will be at the front of the insult line. lol
DITTO! After the last Olympics he made his rounds for a couple of months then went back to training...to be a top athlete like that you spend probably 6 hrs a day training (whether it be swimming, weight lifting etc)so it's unlikely that he'll stay in the limelight if he's going to continue to compete...
Ok, so now were "scheduling" dates with people now, just because we found out they think we're cute. WTF? For some odd reason, millions of girls around the globe find Micheal Fish cute..should he "schedule" a date with all theose crazies too?
HOLLYWOOD=WHORES.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
He's not cute - he's a winner. Admit it, Carrie. And he's now rich and famous. Which makes any man look TONS better (see Donald Trump, if you haven't eaten). If she didn't want to get into a relationship with a celebrity blah blah blah, why is she going out with him?
Two Drink ~ are you sad? Porque???
Come sit on my lap and tell me about it.
What Phelps needs is to trade all the gold in his olympic medals for Total Face Realignment Surgery.
no wonder he won all those medals. those ears sure help him swim faster.
**whatever**
she thinks he's cute???? Am I the only one who thinks he's a fucking shoe??? ewwwwwwww.... every picture I've seen of him is gross.
Cheer up TwoDrink babe, it's a long weekend at least, right? ♥
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"TEDDY'S BACK!"
OK, been depressed all day keeping this brief.
She can make up in lips with what he has extra in ears. Love ya sluts.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 29, 2008 - 10:54am
If there was a way to manufacture it safely. Pea Poo Parfume actually gets its signature scent from pachyderm droppings, but it can be dangerous to harvest. See here:
http://www.funnypictures.net.au/images/poo-elephent1.JPG
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Oh, don't you worry about a thing Taco Times. I'm already in the process of manufacturing a strap-on Pea Poo collector so you can stay safely out of smelling distance.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
dont think it was his face she was looking at when she decided to get her a piece of the Phelps.
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That's my thinking too. Besides she dated Tony Romo and he looks like a monkey to me.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 9:47am.
Taco Mom Times, if I found you some funding, would you manufacture Pea Poo Parfume?
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If there was a way to manufacture it safely. Pea Poo Parfume actually gets its signature scent from pachyderm droppings, but it can be dangerous to harvest. See here:
http://www.funnypictures.net.au/images/poo-elephent1.JPG
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
I cannot get into this sh*t today!
(hehe)
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
Taco Mom Times, if I found you some funding, would you manufacture Pea Poo Parfume?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!