Don't Fuck With An Old Queen

Lily Allen needs to stay away from open bars. She's a grouchy drunk ass bitch! Nobody likes an angry boozer. They always have the worst smelling breath. Dog ass breath! Last night, Lily attended the GQ Awards in London and took advantage of the free champagne. Bitch got tanked....and mouthy!

Lily co-hosted the awards with Elton John and her drinking quickly made his saggy balls itch. Elton, being the bitchy old queen that he is, wouldn't let it go. When Lily told the audience: “And now to the most important part of the night." Elton quickly replied: “What? Are you going to have another drink?” Two snaps and a dildo slap!

Lily didn't let Elton get the last laugh. She answered him back: “Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!” Yeah, and it ain't going to be pretty.

Instead of slapping the ho in the teeth, Elton fired back: “I could still snort you under the table.” It ended with Lily saying: “Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about.” Lily didn't know what he was talking about, but I'm sure the cokey booger sitting in her nose did.

I love it when two annoying dykes start bickering. I bet Lily was tottering around, trying to hold her vomit. She probably stomped offstage, grabbed Elton by his wig and shouted: "Yooouuuu knooow whaaat you'reeeee prooooblmeee issss?!" Seriously, Lily needs to stick to soda water and wafers. Angry drunks are almost worse than emotional drunks! Don't even get me started on those wet cry babies!

I think Elton and Lily should settle this with a cocaine snort-a-thon! My Monopoly money is on Elton! Lily has already proven that she can't handle her shit like a champ!

Here's some pictures of Lily before the drunken madness. Although, she might have been drinking at home. Methinks she forgot to brush the curls out of her mop. This is some "Thelma Harper" shit!