JLo Is Crazy
JLo queefs about being knocked up with the Dragon Tales twins in the October issue of Elle magazine. JLo said that she was "selfish" for the first time in her whole fucking life while she was pregnant. Yeah, this shit is going to write itself.
JLo spent the first part of her pregnancy on tour with Skeletor. When the tour ended she was ready to be taken care of. She said: "I said, 'I did the superwoman thing, I finished the tour – now I need you to take care of me. I love doing things for you; if I'm not cooking, then I'm picking out a shirt. But this is the first time in my life where I'm just going to be a little bit selfish. I don’t know if I'm going to have kids again, so I want it to be a beautiful experience. I don't want to have any drama. I want to just be smiling every day.'"
Who wrote that shit for her? Danielle Steele? Seriously, how were these fake words able to pass through her lips? This is straight up fuckery.
She went on to spew even more cheese about the moment she found out about her pregnancy: "I was sitting down doing hair and makeup and I felt a flutter. The weirdest little ... flourish. My makeup artist said 'What’s the matter?' I didn’t say anything, but in my head, I was like, I have life inside me!”
The only thing missing from this shit is a Celine Dion song playing in the background. JLo, stop hitting me in the mouth with your 12-inch dildo! I'm not going to suck it!
And to stop off this queso fiesta, JLo confessed that she had some nude pictures taken of herself two weeks before she gave birth. "I was like, How am I going to rock this moment of my life?... I felt very womanly. Marc was in a dream. He loved it."
Marc was in a nightmare, not a dream. And by the power of Chicken Cutlets, may these nekkid pictures of a knocked up JLo never see the light outside of her boudoir. Never!
Here's a few more pictures of JLo with Michael Kors, Georgina Chapman and Donatella Versace. Donatella kind of looks like Skeletor with a dime store wig.
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"Flourish" will be the name of her new perfume. It will smell like bullshit and have the faint undertones of amniotic fluid.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
I would like to have her money. But I don't want to be her. Having sex with P. Diddy, Skeletor, and Ben makes my skin crawl.
THANK YOU!! Yuck- you'd think she'd hook up with at least one hottie. Ugly on the inside, maybe?
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
NovaNightly on September 3, 2008 - 6:25pm.
They dont show it, but you know they fucking hog-tied her into that dress on the cover...and THEN they photochopped several inches off the sides.
She brings out so much hate in me...its crazy!! :P
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novanighty you and i should start a hate j-whore club it would be great. however, i hate her more than you and everyone on this site knows it but with our hate put together we'd make a great team! lolololololol
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?--------------
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 3, 2008 - 7:21pm.
Skeletor is quite famous but he was not magazine rag famous until he started cheating on his wife whit Yellow and then marry his wife again and then divorce her and marry Yellow
He remarries his wife because Yellow didn't want to give up the hope that Ben would marry her fat ass. Once she realized he wouldn't she returned to Skeltor
Submitted by radio siren on September 3, 2008 - 7:39pm.
J-Lo saying she has never been selfish before is like Britney saying she's given up cheetos, Parisite saying her bagina isn't the size of the Grand Canyon, and MK saying his yes-yes hole is now a no-no hole.
LMAO...great comparisons
Sorry if someone said this already, but... she also kind of looks like an ethnic Julia Roberts with them lips. So badly Photoshopped.
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
You are a fucking funny human being. Thank you.
She has the chola eyes and lips down. Someone give her a sharpie, a spiral perm and a bottle of mousse.
And by the power of Chicken Cutlets, may these nekkid pictures of a knocked up JLo never see the light outside of her boudoir. Never!
Lmao!
I really like dress in the cover pic. Cute.
~♥~Christina Aguilera new single 8th Sep 2008~♥~
And it looks like they messed up the photoshop whilst trimming her hips.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Out of all the pictures they took, that's the best they could do for a cover photo? Looks like her face was busted and put back together askew.
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"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 3, 2008 - 7:21pm.
Skeletor is quite famous but he was not magazine rag famous until he started cheating on his wife whit Yellow and then marry his wife again and then divorce her and marry Yellow
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AAAAANNNNNNNDDD.....
I still don't know his real name. Honestly, people aren't really famous, famous until I know who they, because I don't know shit....either that or they gotta trainwreck on DListed, of course:)
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
I'm sure it has been said, but what a delusional bitch.
Well whatever..I think she looks great in these pictures..even if they don't really look like her at all..haha. Gorgeous.
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Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash.
Submitted by Aunt Bea on September 3, 2008 - 6:00pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 3, 2008 - 7:52pm.
I would like to have her money. But I don't want to be her. Having sex with P. Diddy, Skeletor, and Ben makes my skin crawl.
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Money can be earned, class cannot. That being said nope, don't wanna be her. =)
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 3, 2008 - 4:52pm.
Taco Taco y Burritos!! That South Park episode was classic!
Ahahahaha! That is a fucked up photoshop job in the pic with Donatella. Good eye!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 3, 2008 - 7:52pm.
I would like to have her money. But I don't want to be her. Having sex with P. Diddy, Skeletor, and Ben makes my skin crawl.
This woman is all about the 'bling' lifestyle. She would buy a turd if it had Versace written on it. She is grotesquely materialistic. I cannot stand celebs like her. They are fake, greedy, narcissistic fame-mongers.
Shoot them, shoot them all lol!
Blanche:My whole life is an open book.
Sophia:Your whole life is an open blouse.
Taco kisses to you Jenny Screwed-Her-Way-Up-From-The Block!
I'm gonna pull a Jimmy Bocca here like in the Xtina thread and blurble, "100% of the women here wish they were her."
I ain't got the words...
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
That second thumbnail kills me.. "like omg, we're sitting here in like our dresses being all beautiful and stuff.. and like you got icing on your nose.. omg how funny... I'm calling Tish. She will just die with laughter..omg
Oh, puleeeze! Thank God JLo got that selfishness bit over with. She's back to being Mother Fucking Theresa now.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
J-Lo saying she has never been selfish before is like Britney saying she's given up cheetos, Parisite saying her bagina isn't the size of the Grand Canyon, and MK saying his yes-yes hole is now a no-no hole.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Someone, anyone, please knock Jello the fuck out? I'd do it but I just got home from work and now I'm too tired. I don't know her, but I hate her, it's like that y'know?
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Selfish for the FIRST time in her life?
HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaOMG
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"How much is that doggie in the window?"
Here, I feel like this should have had "Photoshop Awards" in the title...
Skeletor is quite famous but he was not magazine rag famous until he started cheating on his wife whit Yellow and then marry his wife again and then divorce her and marry Yellow
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
From what basement trunk did Jennifer Lopez find that Alexis Carrington frock she's wearing?
And please, don't get me started on the makeup and hair.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
JLo queefs about being knocked up with the Dragon Tales twins in the October issue of Elle magazine. JLo said that she was "selfish" for the first time in her whole fucking life while she was pregnant. Yeah, this shit is going to write itself.
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And surprisingly enough, it did!
Poor little girlie - she's gotta cook food (wtf? that woman don't gotta cook!) and pick out a shirt now and then (becuz I know how much she HATES to shop and control her hubby's wardrobe - like all women)...she wants to take that away from her man at one of the most vunerable times in his life?
That's just sad. What's sadder is that she doesn't think it's all about her all day every day as it is. Why else would she be married to a guy that performs but is virtually unrecongnizable? I still don't evenknow that skeezer's real name.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by mharker on September 3, 2008 - 6:53pm.
I agree. And plastic surgery was popular even then... mostly nose jobs, though, I guess. And I've heard some would pluck or shave their hairline to move it back if they had a small forehead. Weird things. At least photoshop, a couple clicks and voila, bigger forehead.
Submitted by Devore on September 3, 2008 - 6:43pm.
Is he really known to be a bad father to Ariana? Since forever, I've heard about him (in the press) go on and on about her. I always thought she was his favorite.
in PR we use to have parodie of J.lo an she called herself Yellow ,LOL
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Selena was at the height of her career. It all went downhill from there.
About the "for the first time in my life I was selfish-" I am laughing with the rest of you. So if cheating on every man you've been with, being a husband stealer and living a life of extreme excess isn't selfish, then I don't know what is. This bitch needs to take her over inflated head out of her humungous ass.
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 3, 2008 - 7:09pm.
Didn't you hear? Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are moving to Australia.
..
Send em on down Speakit. We can always use a couple of extra sluts. Australia is dang near run out of them completely.
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Fukk that! I didn't know I'd be welcome. *packing*
Submitted by chica robotica on September 3, 2008 - 7:05pm
in one picture of skeletor kids there was a girl and she looked just like Dayana Torres white skin, blue eyes ,black hair aniway the other kids are lucky that they look like their mothers , Dragon tale twins not that lucky
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by Aunt Bea on September 3, 2008 - 6:18pm.
"What I would really like to know what she takes/drinks when she has to do sexy times with Skelly"
Viagra, and shots of Patron.......
(Hey! It works for women, too!)
Didn't you hear? Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are moving to Australia.
..
Send em on down Speakit. We can always use a couple of extra sluts. Australia is dang near run out of them completely.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on September 3, 2008 - 3:05pm.
Submitted by M.E. on September 3, 2008 - 4:04pm.
Thank God it's time to go home, before I blow a gasket on this bitch!
Good Night.
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Good night. I told MK we're bored with Jello.
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And I see he left you horz with a Shitney post.
GAH! Rip her apart for me k? ;O)
Submitted by M.E. on September 3, 2008 - 4:04pm.
Thank God it's time to go home, before I blow a gasket on this bitch!
Good Night.
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Good night. I told MK we're bored with Jello.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by yiooooooo on September 3, 2008 - 6:55pm.
I think he has an older daughter, Ariana, by an ex-girlfriend, and two sons with Dayanara Torres. As well as the twins by JLo. Some woman in FLorida claimed he was the father of her child but he took two paternity tests and it appears he isn't. Yeah, I'm a Mark Anthony fan. Viva Skeletor.
Thank God it's time to go home, before I blow a gasket on this bitch!
Good Night.
According to Wikipedia: Skeletor has a daughter, Arianna (1994), by his New York police officer ex-girlfriend Debbie Rosado. He later married former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres by whom he has two sons, Cristian Anthony Muñiz (February 5, 2001) and Ryan Anthony Muñiz (August 16, 2003). After divorced Dayanara, he married Jello and begat the non-messiah twins.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Sandbitch on September 3, 2008 - 6:51pm.
WE
*DEMAND*
A
FRESH
COAT
OF
DRAMA
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Didn't you hear? Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are moving to Australia.
While all three of those designers want her to wear their creations, you know they fucking personally hate her diva ass.
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 3, 2008 - 6:55pm.
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LMAO @ "Yellow"
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The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0
I think she truly believes the bullshit that comes out of her mouth...I can just see her talking to herself in the mirror about how for the first time in her life she wasn't the selfless one...kind of laughing while tilting her head to the side juuuust a bit. Skeltor comes up behind to ask her a question, she then growl at him to get out, she's busy right now, this is HER time...creepy
Does she realise that ordering someone to make food for you isn't actually cooking?
Skeletor haves 3 kids whit the ex Miss universe Dayanara Torrez and two whit Yellow , I think he may have another one but she is not famous so I dont know
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
HOly shit, what's wrong with her face?