Lynne Spears Is A Wonderful Mother

Lynne Spears' book should have been called "This is Why Brit Brit Went to the Loony Bin!" The National Enquirer (via The Daily Mail) got a hold of the book before its September 16th release and published a few of Lynne's amazing parenting tips. The expectant parents out there should take some notes:

Brit Brit started hitting the bottle at the age of 13. This was right after she joined The Mickey Mouse Club. Lynne said she really didn't care as long as she was around while Brit drank. Don't blame Lynne! I bet you Donald Duck gave Brit her first Jack & coke. He's a drunken mess!

When Brit was 14, she started dating some 18-year-old high school footballer. Lynne encouraged it, because she thought it would make Brit more popular. She even let Brit stay at the dude's house. Well, the dude ended up taking Brit's virginity when she was just 14.

Brit went to Los Angeles to record her first album when she was 15. That's when she started doing drugs. Lynne thought she was going through typical teenage issues.

A year later, Brit was caught with coke and weed while trying to board a private jet. She was 16. Not so typical.

That same year, Brit started boinking Justin Timberlake. Lynne let them to sleep together in Brit's room. She said she knew they were doing it, but allowed it because Brit was "in love." In love with the dick!

Lynne writes that she wishes she didn't allow Brit's career and life to be controlled by managers. They are the ones who turned her into a sex symbol at such a young age.

In the end, Lynne knows the mistakes she made as a parent. She blames herself for her daughter's breakdown. A bitch who read the book said: "Lynne's book does a lot of soul-searching on the mistakes she made raising Britney and Jamie Lynn. She says if she had known helping her daughter Britney follow her dreams would cost her her soul, she would never have done it."

None of this shit is that shocking. Most of us did the same crap. Well, almost. Instead of coke, it was expired painkillers and clove ciggies. Instead of a private jet, it was a park bench. Instead of Justin Timberlake, it was the hot Mormon boy down the street who cried after busting a nut. The big difference is that if my mom knew about my shenanigans, I would've been thrown into military school. Which might not have been such a bad thing. Dozens of horny dudes in one place? Maybe I should have told her....

What's disturbing is the fact that Lynne is telling the whole world about this shit for a quick buck. She's basically screaming "I'M A SHIT MOM! Now give me $24.99!"

Lynne, meet Michael Lohan. Michael, meet Lynne Spears.

Submitted by magnificent_G on Sat, 09/06/2008 - 6:39am.

Daniee, my spellin is better then your's and im not even american.

xxx
Alyxendrya Jayne

Submitted by BrandyCane on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 9:49pm.

DANIEE....First...WTF kind of name is that?? 2nd....Im fucking damn pretty and was 3 days away from 18 when I lost mine...which is a CHOICE!!! Not everyone gives it to the first mulleted skag that comes a knockin on your double wide front door.......

Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been. SPIRAL OUT

Submitted by gucci on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 7:20pm.

Daniee:

i can tell by the spelling of your name alone that your nothing but trailor trash.

___________________
Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?

Submitted by sharoninshape on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 11:16am.

what a mother no wonder why all of her kids are horrible moms because they leran how to be a mother from her The spears family has no shame , moral what so ever yet they act like they are christians.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 8:31am.

What a fucking hag. Pimping & selling out your kids for a living. She has no shame. I almost feel sorry for Shitney & Shitney Jr.

(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)

Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?

Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 5:23am.

Well, duh! Let's face it ppl, if you were still a virgin by your 17th birthday, you were either really fucking ugly or riding the short bus. Okay, you were ugly.

Submitted by Kp on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 1:29am.

To get the full spears family experience, I'll just huff some paint and sit in a hot car for a few days.

Submitted by kiwikim on Fri, 09/05/2008 - 1:03am.

She's so fucking remorseful, she repeated the same mistakes with daughter number 2.
The only dumb asses that are going to pay 24.95 for parenting tips from Spears are Palin and her fans.

Submitted by Paige123 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 9:08pm.

Wait Angelina) mom let her boyfriend live w/ her at 14 right?

Submitted by Sayonara on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 7:21pm.

Wow her mother is putting all of the business out on front street. That is bad! Shame on Mrs. Spears.

"Put your hand out the window, feel the force" Darth Vader

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 6:28pm.

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 4, 2008 - 6:07pm.
______________________________________

I can't wait either! I won't be spoiled on the song since I don't listen to the radio anymore, but I hope they hurry up and release it on iTunes or Rhapsody.

**************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 6:07pm.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 9:35pm.

Thanks for the link! It's so cute, mom and baby matching. And yay to her performing something new! I'm so excited, I hope she kills it.

Your welcome!

3 days to go!! hehehehe, I cant hardly wait. Ooh the Aussie radio stations have the single! If it doesnt get leaked by sunday it''l be a miracle!!

~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 6:05pm.

Ah, bitch is wearing a cross necklace while freely admitting that she: a) whored her daughter out for fame and fortune, b) whored her daughter to an older man, technically committing statutory rape, to become "popular" and c) allowing said whored out daughter to drink and dope up because she was the family breadwinner.

Linda Blair treated the cross with more respect in "The Exorcist". Is it any wonder Pappy Spears left her amoral ass?

Submitted by anna hannah on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:54pm.

I can't believe what a complete asshole Lynne Spears is, no wonder both her daughters are so fucked up. Well wait a minute maybe Jamie Lynn isn't fucked up after all. Maybe the kid just wants a relatively normal family so bad that she's desperately created her own. I can't believe this hose bag wrote a book and I just know that there are tons of people out there that will actually buy this crap. I would suggest she be ashamed of the way she raised her kids but she's to stupid to understand.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:35pm.

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 4, 2008 - 4:23pm.
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Thanks for the link! It's so cute, mom and baby matching. And yay to her performing something new! I'm so excited, I hope she kills it.

********************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by Lory on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:27pm.

Submitted by HairyPotheadfan on September 4, 2008 - 3:10pm.
Im asking everyone out there who sees this to NOT buy this damned book. DO NOT support Lynne Spears for being a shitty Mother. She has ridden the Brit gravytrain for years now and I wouldnt give 2 shits for any book that is going to help earn her a living.
___________

Tru dat. Besides, buying that shit would leave nothing left in my monthly tampon fund...
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:26pm.

Christina @ VMA Press Conference

http://buzzworthy.mtv.com/2008/09/04/2008-mtv-vma-press-conference/

~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:23pm.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 9:04pm.
Hey DAE!!!!! Where'd you get the new avie?

*
AguileraWorld.com

http://www.aguileraworld.com/photogallery/thumbnails.php?album=665

She was leaving her NYC hotel so she could get the plane back to LA

I have say before I bust

SHE'S GOING TO PERFORM THE NEW SINGLE AT SUNDAY'S VMA'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She said about 30mins ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~

Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:12pm.

Submitted by HairyPotheadfan on September 4, 2008 - 3:10pm.
Im asking everyone out there who sees this to NOT buy this damned book.

---------------------

Well, I certainly won't. I've got more important things to buy, like weed and beer.

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon

Submitted by HairyPotheadfan on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:10pm.

Im asking everyone out there who sees this to NOT buy this damned book. DO NOT support Lynne Spears for being a shitty Mother. She has ridden the Brit gravytrain for years now and I wouldnt give 2 shits for any book that is going to help earn her a living.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:04pm.

Hey DAE!!!!! Where'd you get the new avie?

*************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 4:00pm.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 6:22pm.
I'm glad she wrote this shit - now people can stop with this whole Brit's bipolar theory.

A FUCKING MEN!

~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~

Submitted by ☆ Shonathan Hilton ☆ on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 3:36pm.

who would buy the book?
i mean we all know her parents skills didnt work
lol
is she tryin to fool our moms?

www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch

Submitted by Beth4 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 3:21pm.

What a disgusting, pathetic, sorry, no good excuse for a mother this cunt is. She needs to be kept far, far away from the kids her 2 whore daughters brought into this world or she'll be turning them into same useless pieces of shit her own kids are. Blaming managers for the way Skankney turned out is an insult to our intelligence.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 3:19pm.

Snowy Girl: That's the rumor I heard.

Here's Mom & Dad: http://www.erinsanders.com/photogallery/Zoey%20101/BehindtheScenes/Seaso...

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/51110751.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4A...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 3:16pm.

Drama: RU FREAKING KIDDING ME? the fat dude from HotC is Jamie Lynn's baby dady!!?!?!?!?****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 3:14pm.

Snow (& anyone else who's interested): Dan Schneider. Cocreator/writer & (I believe) producer for "Zoey 101." No pic of him on IMDB, but here's one:

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://matthewmatt.files.wordpress.c...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:41pm.

Submitted by Kp on September 4, 2008 - 2:13pm.
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Yup, that's pretty much what happened. She's a narcissistic junkie - end of story. BOTH of her parents should be ashamed of themselves for letting the shit get this far.

***********************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:40pm.

Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 2:11pm.
_____________________________________

You're welcome. As someone who suffers from mental illness and watched my uncle's life fall apart around his bipolar/schizophrenia, that shit pissed me off. Bitch is a junkie, plain and simple and everybody in her camp kept lying saying she never did drugs! Sure - and I'm Halle Berry.

********************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:29pm.

speakit - obviously I've watched too many vampire type movies. LOL.

BURN! BURN! FIRE! FIRE!

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:24pm.

Submitted by Kp on September 4, 2008 - 10:16am.
Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 2:13pm.

Since when did a cross stand for any type of spirituality to celebrities? Madonna, a practicing "devout" kaballa-ist, even does that shit.
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True, it doesn't. But for some reason I thought I remembered that these backwoods liars tried to claim once how religious they were and how they went to church, etc.

That is where my comment stemmed from.

Submitted by speakit on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:21pm.

LOL M.E.!

wait... I wear a necklace with a cherry pendant and well.. ya know

Submitted by Kp on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:16pm.

Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 2:13pm.

Since when did a cross stand for any type of spirituality to celebrities? Madonna, a practicing "devout" kaballa-ist, even does that shit.

Submitted by cadebra1961 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:16pm.

LMAO @ M.E.'s comments! So sad, yet so true.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

Submitted by Kp on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:13pm.

QueenCharisma's picture
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 1:22pm.

I'm glad she wrote this shit - now people can stop with this whole Brit's bipolar theory. That's an insult to everybody who genuinely suffers from that illness. Her crazy is self-inflicted with the help of this cuntrag...great job, Lynne. Now go away.

I agree that she didnt suffer from Bipolar disorder, I thought it was some mental illness based from drug abuse or a history of schizophrenia in her family. However this information just totally validated the idea of a personality disorder. Her family kissed her ass her whole life so she would be famous and make tons of money.

Submitted by Kp on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:13pm.

QueenCharisma's picture
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 1:22pm.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:13pm.

All three of them, Shitters, Lynn and Jamie Lynn wear cross around their necks, constantly. Yet they have not shown a shred of faithfullness to Christ by their actions.

I wish those crosses would spontaneously combust, melting their chests.

Yes, I already have a one way ticket to hell.

Submitted by Kp on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:11pm.

So Britney is just a self centered drug addict with a narcissistic personality disorder? Thats what I can tell. No wonder she got a long so well with Madonna.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:11pm.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 4, 2008 - 9:22am.
I'm glad she wrote this shit - now people can stop with this whole Brit's bipolar theory. That's an insult to everybody who genuinely suffers from that illness. Her crazy is self-inflicted with the help of this cuntrag...great job, Lynne. Now go away.
*********************************************
T H A N K YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 2:07pm.

Go away now

Submitted by jbean on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:54pm.

meh. my life story. exactly. except for the private jet.

Submitted by cadebra1961 on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:51pm.

Lynne Spears looks like a tanned, drunken, mummified douche in the above pic. She scares me!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:25pm.

I have no sympathy for any of them.

These fuck ups fed off each other and tossed around guilt and money to get their way.

/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.

Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:22pm.

*****************************************

The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0

Submitted by Chicklet on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:18pm.

This woman has the I.Q. of a fruitfly. I feel sorry for Britney. She never had a chance in hell.

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 12:53pm.

Submitted by speakit on September 4, 2008 - 12:52pm.

Submitted by angel_i on September 4, 2008 - 12:32pm.

_____________________________________

I'd like to think there's still hope but as you said, given her lifestyle.... So I guess that makes her snark target! Who knows how Lynne was raised? We can't let everybody off the hook. We have to draw the invisible empathy line somewhere.

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Agreed. In some families SOMEBODY has got to be the chain breaker. It would make sense that it's the one with the most resources.

♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork