Thursday, September 4th 2008

David Spade Is A Dad

David Spade's ex-fuck buddy, Jillian Grace, gave birth to their baby in Missouri on August 26th. The baby's name hasn't been announced.

David found out about the pregnancy earlier this year and said that he would take responsibility if the baby proves to be his. I guess the baby is his, because his spokesbitch issued this statement to People: "David and Jillian have been in close contact throughout her pregnancy and he plans to go see the baby during his first break from shooting Rules of Engagement."

How sweet. He'll see the baby when he can. I'm sure he did send baby a few baby vomit napkins from Petit Tresor. That shows that he cares. And what in TV hell is "Rules of Engagement" anyway? My Tivo is even shrugging its shoulders to that question. Wasn't that a movie with Anne Archer?

Okay, now that David Spade has produced a baby, it's time to fix him. Spay the Spade! I know, it's really "neuter the Spade," but that doesn't have the same special ring to it.

Source: E! Online



patty cake's picture

Queefer Spade

xoxox

The war isn't working.

patty cake's picture

I miss Farley too

xoxox

The war isn't working.

patty cake's picture

another fine example of baby insurance..she is set now...child support off Davids salary is plenty to live on for life...and he is a dumb ass...they deserve each other...and the kid...as usual suffers.. maybe

xoxox

The war isn't working.

Mittmah's picture

I remember her on Howard Stern - Her mom was with her trying to get her into Playboy. She had a boyfriend at the time too. Howard predicted that she would dump the boyfriend the minute she started working for Playboy and YEP that's what happened!

She moved to LA and immediately slept with Pauly Shore and who knows how many other famous guys she was trying to latch onto before finally hitting the jackpot by getting knocked up by David Spade.

I know it's his fault too, but she had to have this planned. You know he didn't want to be a dad.

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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location

Mr. President's picture

Thought that chick was Taylor Swift for a second, there. Good luck with the whole fatherhood thing, David. You're going to need it.

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

DebFrmHell's picture

TO:
Kwest,
Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee

They have never announced the little girls name that I can find...

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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!

Kwest's picture

Hey, what's the name of Jason Lee's daughter? Did that ever get announced???

Grace Disful's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on September 4, 2008 - 11:36am.

Word. Both Piven and Spade are Omega males. Yucky.

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

Sayonara's picture

Submitted by ElenaBelle on September 4, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Isn't this the chick Howard Stern discovered?
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I was wondering the same thing. I do believe that's her.

"Put your hand out the window, feel the force" Darth Vader

laladida's picture

POOR KID I WOULD HATE FOR HIM TO BE MY DAD

Isn't this the chick Howard Stern discovered?

your mum goes to college's picture

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper

They look like they are brother and sister.
Creepy.

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They look like sister and sister. Could this be the first child in the world to be conceived through scissor action?

☆ Shonathan Hilton ☆'s picture

WHOMEVER THAT IS!? LOL

www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch

Paquita's picture

I had already read this story, but as I was scrolling down I swear I read "David Space is a Dude"
which is surprising as well as him being a dad.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK

mharker's picture

At least he's not pretending that he'll be a good dad. He's not saying he'll marry her, he's not promising anything. It goes with the rest of his public persona--he's a jerk, but he never tried to be anything else.

lizardo911's picture

I really don't know how he gets the good-looking women. He is so ridiculous and it seems to me you would just have to laugh as he fucked you. He just seems so scrawny and gross. I guess he might have a big one, but I don't even think that would make me want to have some serious sex with him! LOL!

Stan Hooper's picture

Love it! Makes for a special episode of Maury. I just LOOOVVEEE those paternity shows. When the girl says the baby is 1000% his kid and it's not his. I almost fall off the sofa.

Best part of unemployment is strictly Maury.

I really should get Tivo. I'll get my daily fix of that show daily.

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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy

Que Kanye in "Now I ain't saying she's a golddigger"

Kp's picture

I miss farley :-(

Aunt Bea's picture

With all the guys in Hollywierd this is the best a playboy bunny could come up with?

cadebra1961's picture

So the Spademan spawned a brat. Ask me if I give a fiddler's fuck. *yawn*
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

Morrissey's picture

MK, how did this girl not get your Golddigger award?!?!

Perfection if I ever saw it! NO strings, or anything!!!!!

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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."

cheesemissile's picture

David Spade is, in fact, awesome.

Just puttin that out there.

DR.FUNK's picture

Submitted by Stoney on September 4, 2008 - 11:23am.

Seriosly. I'd like to send Dr. Ruth or whatever the fuck that old slut's name is to give Hollywood a little sex education.

"Ok now everyone! Sit down for a minute and let's talk about condoms. Diddy, I said SIT DOWN! You too, Britney."

________________________________________

So true.Throughout my teens into my late 20's I NEVER had a problem with chix pullin' shit like this.It happened to some guys around me ...but no direct hits on me.I would dump bucketfulls without even the slightest fear that some ho' was planning a "VANITY PROJECT".That all changed when I got into my 30's.I had a coupla' three CONSECUTIVE scares from some seemingly intelligent career focused babes.That was when I became a condom convert.Takes the fun outta' hookin' up.Makes me wanna spank to porn & go to sleep.Scares me that I have to start making judgment calls on which ho' is more or less stable.

I think these whores are more concerned about the maternity clothes they are going to wear instead of focusing on the fact that they are about to bring a person into this world. A person, who right off the bat, is not going to have a father. Sure, David will "take responsibility", meaning that that checks will be in the mail and that's about it. Another nice little fatherless family. It reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman shouts "sometimes I cry at night because I don't have a dad!"

With that said, I would totally have Trey Parker's baby out of wedlock.

snowpiece's picture

David Spade is like the Piven, gross lame dudes that get hot girls because they are "famous".
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"

Manbearpig's picture

Why is no one afraid of AIDS, herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, and oh yeah, PREGNANCY when fucking someone you met 5 minutes ago? A playboy playmate and an actor are two of the most LIKELY people on earth to have one or more of the above conditions present. Now this poor kid is here with 2 shit parents.

NovaNightly's picture

My husband tivo's Rules of Engagement...and I've watched a few episodes with him and its quite funny. David Spade basically plays David Spade in the show....not surprising at all since its his best character. lol...:D

Oh...and Good Morning all!! Hugz

^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Stoney's picture

Seriosly. I'd like to send Dr. Ruth or whatever the fuck that old slut's name is to give Hollywood a little sex education.

"Ok now everyone! Sit down for a minute and let's talk about condoms. Diddy, I said SIT DOWN! You too, Britney."

__________________________________________

"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Stoney, no kidding. Seriously, we need to take up a collection and send all Hollywood a truckload of condoms. Why are these people, who once upon a time stuck the red ribbing (typo, but keeping it, for her pleasure) for AIDS awareness all over their lapels, fucking without protection????

Stoney's picture

I like David Spade. I don't know why people think he's gay. I never got that vibe. Anyway, we really must be regressing as a human race if intelligent birth control methods are thrown by the wayside everyday.

*edited for sense
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Clarisse's picture

speakit
Re: Playmate. Very true. Very true.

*shudders*

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Fuck off! I'm the Queen!

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Stock, those work too. My names assumed the baby would have Spade as a last name, but that's doubtful. I am thankful this baby is female, so if she is a tiny little thing, it's a cute and feminine trait and not hobbit-like.

Clarisse's picture

El Bastardo!
Let us kiss WITH tongue!

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Fuck off! I'm the Queen!

DR.FUNK's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on September 4, 2008 - 10:56am.

How desperate for 15 minutes in the spotlight do you have to be to let David Spade dump in you???

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Funny.True.

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

They look like they are brother and sister.
Creepy.

Submitted by Clarisse on September 4, 2008 - 10:56am.
How desperate for 15 minutes in the spotlight do you have to be to let David Spade dump in you???

_______________________________

She's a Playboy Playmate so......

El Bastardo's picture

Submitted by DR.FUNK on September 4, 2008 - 3:07pm.

GOLD-DIGGIN' BABY MOMMA'S...How come when they're White this shit gets glorified?

Beg ya pudding?

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"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon." "Say five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's!"

Stock Broker's picture

Impertinent Vixen ~ how about Frodo Baggins?

Ernie the Keebler Elf?

El Bastardo's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on September 4, 2008 - 2:56pm.

How desperate for 15 minutes in the spotlight do you have to be to let David Spade dump in you???

Ugh...fresh mozzarella & light caesar dressing vomit burps are NASTY!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM kiss me darling !

***********************************************
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon." "Say five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's!"

Deputy Trudy Wiegel's picture

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I love David Spade. He's so funny. I can't really picture him as an active father, though.
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.

DR.FUNK's picture

GOLD-DIGGIN' BABY MOMMA'S...How come when they're White this shit gets glorified?

ImpertinentVixen's picture

The most amazing thing is that Spade got laid.

Potential names:

Queenof
Neuteredand
Callaspadea
Diamondclubheart

She is such a cuttie. Her photos were seen at millionaire persoanals site """""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""yesterday. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.
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Well, at least the mommy is sat for life . . . or at least the next 18 years. She might even be able to give up pole dancing and whoring for awhile.

vmbombshell's picture

I actually find him pretty cool. There's something really easygoing and hilarious about him, but this just comes from the JayLenos and Lettermans interviews. All I've ever seen of his was Just Shoot Me and I loved that show.
But yea no, he doesn't give me the impression of being a fantastic dad. Hope I'm wrong.

TOPANGA's picture

Call a spade a spade...and a ho a ho.

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

Clarisse-how desperate, indeed! Pauly Shore is another name on her list of celebrity(?) F's.

Stock Broker's picture

David Spade reminds me of an elf that got kicked out of Santa's Workshop for touching himself in front of Ms. Claus.

Silvara0428's picture

Um, just wow!
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".

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