Phelps Gets Some Ass In Vegas
The dolphin man visited the Playboy Club in Las Vegas last night and demonstrated his excellent backstroke on one of the resident hos there. Although, in Vegas they call it the "ass stroke." A couple of minutes after this picture was taken, the chick's ass turned to solid gold.
Radar managed to get a couple of pictures of Phelps in action last night. They also said he didn't waste anytime bringing the hos to his side: "It was unreal. Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over... I've never seen such an aggressive grip."
Phelps has got a fucking Polident grip! Hopefully, if that chick went back to Phelps' tank, she triple bagged it (2 bags for his dick and 1 for his face). Seriously, I don't even think a two regular condoms could contain Phelps' spermies. His little fishies can bust through iron.
And Debbie Phelps would say this young lady was definitely having a "Chico's kind of day."
He thinks that any girl wants him because he's an Olympic champ...but honestly he has the fuggest face EVER. The only great thing about him is his body. And all that superficial shit gets old once you start talking to him and realize that he's a douchebag!
Your face!
More power to him.
He's young and damnit, he's earned a little ass grabbing action. Now if he has a girlfriend though, then that's pretty screwed up.
But if he's free and single, then grab all that ass you can Phelps! Just make sure to protect your peen. No telling what those hos have.
AhhHAAA!! Sorry, I've got to comment again, that photo gets me everytime. The look of desperation and the willies! He looks so stoked to get some attention from a girl who is'nt chewing on hay and swinging her tale to get the flies off of her ass.
neeeeeehhh. Ya know, I read a remark that someone made about MP's real parents; it was that a manatee and a sea horse fucked.
Yup, another douchebag thiking he's Captain America. Ooooh, michael, those are some classy dames! The new story is that he was throwing napkins at the bartender being a total drunken
A-hole. I was impressed by this 'man' for a week but sadly, he's just proven over and over that he's arrogant. And I hate that cocked- to- the-side ball cap on his mushed up monkey head.
@ LOVECARROTTOP - "When did MK say "Writing that made my eyeballs fart?" I think that has to be the funniest fucking thing anyone in the history of the world has ever said."
Agreed. And I remember when I first read the eyeballs-fart ssentence, it was from like 2 or 3 weeks ago here. Now I feel like doing some back-reading and finding its thread origin. Michael K is one witty motherfucker. I don't know why I never started commenting here in the first place, when I first found DListed, but better late than never I guess.
eyeballs fart, eyeballs fart... where WAS that? Gonna go find it.
how sad. some limelight, and he thinks he's famous the way diddy thinks people think he matters. please.
*sigh* nothing really to snark about here! he's 23 years old at a strip club...he's spent the last 16 years of his life working and training his a$$ off to become the worlds best swimmer possibly of all time! his actions are only a problem if in fact he does have a girlfriend..not exactly the way to tell her it might be over LOL! although you would think with his money and fame he would go to a more high class club..these chicks look like they are not much above the hot messes that strip in the clubs in the ghetto!
i do have to say that MP has an abnormally long torso which wouldn't be such a problem, but why is he wearing a shirt the emphsizes the length of his arms...it just looks wrong!LOL!
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
You go, Michael. If you can't grab a little ass in Vegas the terrorists have won.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I bet he did come from Edmonton.. just keeeeeding.
LULZ! (There is a shit load of truth in every joke, sistah!)
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 10:11pm.
Mister Phelps would easily pass for Edmontonian...
You know, the inbred retard look kinda gives him away. Ok I'm mean.
yeah whatever. lalala
Boobie fart! BLOOP!
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I hate to be so mean, but all my girl parts, fallopian tubes and everything. shrivel at the sight of Phelps. I bet he did come from Edmonton.. just keeeeeding.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Mister Phelps would easily pass for Edmontonian...
You know, the inbred retard look kinda gives him away. Ok I'm mean.
yeah whatever. lalala
Boobie fart! BLOOP!
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 10:09pm.
MMmmmm Tim and Horton sounds nice. loves me some ice capps. and tim bits
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I had an iced capp today. It gave me diarrhea but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
MMmmmm Tim and Horton sounds nice. loves me some ice capps. and tim bits
as long as you don't name them tim bits. It would be highly ironic.
We are talking about custom made bra boobies here
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
When did MK say "Writing that made my eyeballs fart?" I think that has to be the funniest fucking thing anyone in the history of the world has ever said.
Farting eyeballs. I'm going to have to think about that.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
I heard that Kendra Wilkinson has been booted out of the mansion so maybe Phelps was sniffing her out there. Kendra and Phelps should really bump teeth and swap DNA. It wouldn't be pretty, but it would be fast.
Phelps should maybe swim to Clairemont San Diego.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 10:03pm.
Hubby named them a while ago. Her names are Laverne and Shirley.
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Laverne and Shirley? Give that husband a spanking. We can do better than that.
Tim and Horton?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 - 8:01pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 9:59pm.
Both of them, my dear. For you, both of them!
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Wow... I suppose I should name them...
How about Squirts and Wobbles?
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Hubby named them a while ago. Her names are Laverne and Shirley.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 9:59pm.
Both of them, my dear. For you, both of them!
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Wow... I suppose I should name them...
How about Squirts and Wobbles?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 - 7:57pm.
Which one, the left or the right?
Meyer's White Glue!
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Both of them, my dear. For you, both of them!
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 9:55pm.
LCT I HEART YOU WITH ALL MY...BOOB!
And Crayola =D
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Which one, the left or the right?
Meyer's White Glue!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
EDIT reposted upstairs, lala
Bossy, just in case you missed it, here is MY reply to your ..rant?
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 12:33pm.
Submitted by Bossy on September 5, 2008 - 11:52am.
Wow, all of you girls are being bitches. Saying he's hideous and you wouldn't let him near you?? Rrright, because you all date models. Highly doubt all of your men are great looking, so your guys and Phelps are neck to neck on that.
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If I was single I wouldn't let him near me because he is, indeed, hideous. And that does not necessarily make me a bitch, it makes me a woman with a hint of taste.
I don't date models primarily because I am married, and again if I was single, I would not date one because I like my men with some substance, and culture. You don't date twats, you fuck them. And then you move on to someone with a brain if you want it serious.
"Highly doubt..." And who are you to talk about our men? Do you even have one? Not trying to offend you sweety, but if you're gonna throw such a stone, you might NOT want to hide your hand, that makes you look just silly.
MY man is indeed a very attractive man, and he's not an olympic swimmer nor he needs to be. He sure isn't a butterface. So no, in my particular case MY man and Phelps are not neck to neck on that one.
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Now do they have world-acknowledged accompliahments that took years of discipline to achieve? Doubt it. So he's got most of your men beat.
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Probably not. Again, because our men are NOT olympic swimmers. And they are NOT celebrities.
So there is NO POINT OF COMPARISON.
That was just a lame sentence you laid on.
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And let's not forget personality. None of us know him and he could be really sweet but noooo we have to be bitches and go on the physical...
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Who gives two shits about personality? We are posting and commenting in regards to the picture and the post, and what we DO know about him.
So same goes for you, Ms Congeniality, none of us know him and he could also be an asshole, and one you are defending, at that.
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..(hah and his body is fantastic, bet you can't say that about your beer-bellied men either).
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I can say that my husband has a fantastic body, thank you. Especially because he doesn't drink beer, and he does not have a beer gut. And even if he did, he would still look awesome.
So eat your words on that one. You are being very opinionated on something you know nothing about.
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And the whole "I bet he's a virgin!! Hehehehe" is so old and immature. Even if he were, why make virginity a negative thing? If only your kids or future children could hear you, I'm sure you'd love them to bone early and often so that no one could tag the awful virgin word on them, right?
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It's a JOKE meant to BASH ON A CELEBRITY for the fucking fun sake of it. learn to live with the fact that some of us find fun in simple things. And no one made virginity a negative think but methinks you take it negatively and I feel tempted to play your little game of assuming shit and taking it wrong and say that you yourself are a virgin and can't live with that bare fact.
But even if it looks like I just did that, I won't. I will let YOU be the opinionated cunt.
And don't you dare mix our children (unborn or living or not even conceived) in your rant against funny comments about a butterface.
Especially because you strike me as one of those people who live hanging off of others' success to feel they have a life.
So my conclusion on this little brain fart of yours is that you need to check
1)your spelling
2)your mental health
3)The site you are navigating. (CELEBRITY BASHING BLOG)
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 - 7:53pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 3:31pm.
It almost scares me how easily you can shut a bitch down here.
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NOBODY PUTS MY BOOB BERRY IN A CORNER!
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LCT I HEART YOU WITH ALL MY...BOOB!
And Crayola =D
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 5, 2008 - 3:31pm.
It almost scares me how easily you can shut a bitch down here.
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NOBODY PUTS MY BOOB BERRY IN A CORNER!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Hahaha I find it hilarious that some of you took what I said personally and defended your men--good for you. But each statement was not meant to completely apply to anyone.
I didn't take what you all said about Phelps personally, I just felt there was overall too bitchy an atmosphere over a dude who isn't a totally sleeze, just not Adonis, and so I told you all to get off YOUR crosses. None of us are perfect but somehow you all found something negative to say about the guy. I gave general points for you to consider about the people in your own lives. And I'm quite aware this is dlisted, aka home of the bitchy, but it just seemed a little harsh for someone who hasn't done anything awful to be so terribly criticized.
OMG... Check out how long is back and torso are in the picture. He really is a fucking dolphin. Or a Mer-man.
Loved this piece, MK.
Honey, as ugly a mug as this dude possesses (fuck, that's a lot of esses - did I misspell?), I bet he has a dick that would go through that whore's vadge, snake along her intestines, and emerge out of her mouth. Those odd-lookin dudes always have a big whopper on 'em.
Also - was that REALLY the Playboy Club, or some tranny/drag dive in Vegas? You never know anymore.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
why is everyone getting so worked up over this? apparently phelps fans are the new brangaloonies. and no one else thinks its funny that the picture looks like the stripper is not even having it? hahaha
As far as I'm concerned, Dolphin Man deserves all good things. Hope he gets plenty of coochie and whatever else his flipper heart desires.
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
It almost scares me how easily you can shut a bitch down here.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
Submitted by Kp on September 5, 2008 - 1:10pm.
good for him. He can be a douchey man whore. Its probably the first time in his life he can get easily accessible ass. He worked his ass off, he deserves it.
Totally agree. Good for him! GEt that ass while you can before you go back to training again
There's only one word for that picture, DOUCHE.
hahaha snow, youre the only pretty bitch ill put up with.. you and me run this shiiit 'memba?
LOLO YES, those are the gems: the hot ones who dont know it!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
_Submitted by missy on September 5, 2008 - 2:32pm.
Oh you are so damn right!
When a man is "pretty" you know what i mean?
Like Pretty PRETTY.... any way they seem to be hard to handle in the ATTITUDE dept.
A dude can not take longer to get ready then me.
My dude is the hotness now, but he has no clue he is and he only wears grey t-shirts. He is simple that one
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
miss: but you still like me. right??? ;P
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
see, I tend to avoid people who are really good looking.
i bet phelps is a really cool guy.
cause people who can rely only on looks have to get a personality and a sense of humor and a bit of humility. All things I prefer over good looks.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
LMFAO at weenie Lover Okie and Booberries!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
CHO---CO---LAT????
LoLo.. OH SNAP! Ain't that the truth..
HEEY YOU GUUUYS!!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
I can say without a doubt that my BF is WAY better looking then this guy but that is not the point. My guy doesnt love TREASURE or BABY RUTH as much as this goonie mother fucker!!!
HA HA HA HA
BOOBIE TRAP!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
So is Phelps your boyfriend, husband, best friend,cousin, brother or what?. Why should you take OUR OPINIONS so damn personally?. So what if I find him horrendous? it's my opinion and I should not feel sorry just because you got your panties on a bunch.
The men I have dated were/are not model material, but at least they don't look like Sloth from the Goonies. And I will repeat again, I don't give two shits if he has a pretty sweet personality or has 100 gold olimpic medals, I DON'T FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE AT ALL. There you go, so thanks for the BITCH part. At least I know what I like, want and don't give two shits about fame or money. So there you go.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Ummmm...Bossy? Thats what we do here...we make fun of celebrities. If ya don't like it...
oh, and get off your cross...we need the wood.
Wow, all of you girls are being bitches. Saying he's hideous and you wouldn't let him near you?? Rrright, because you all date models. Highly doubt all of your men are great looking, so your guys and Phelps are neck to neck on that. Now do they have world-acknowledged accompliahments that took years of discipline to achieve? Doubt it. So he's got most of your men beat. And let's not forget personality. None of us know him and he could be really sweet but noooo we have to be bitches and go on the physical (hah and his body is fantastic, bet you can't say that about your beer-bellied men either). And the whole "I bet he's a virgin!! Hehehehe" is so old and immature. Even if he were, why make virginity a negative thing? If only your kids or future children could hear you, I'm sure you'd love them to bone early and often so that no one could tag the awful virgin word on them, right?
good for him. He can be a douchey man whore. Its probably the first time in his life he can get easily accessible ass. He worked his ass off, he deserves it.
"But yeah, when a lousy lover says "It was gooood..wasn't it!", I don't know if I should cry out loud or laugh my ass off."
Laugh your ass off, shake it off, pop a pill and give in to BOB the god of good vibes.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
"I am a glowing white lard ass and I go through life just fine, Jim." IM
I bet Sarah larson was there to get some atttention from dolphin boy
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Submitted by EvilShoe on September 5, 2008 - 8:32am.
Where's his momma now? I bet she's so proud!
At the end of the day, this dude is fucking ugly, I wouldn't let him touch a thing on me. I don't care how much money he has.
Damn he's ugly, I can't decide who is worse in the looks dept, him or tater head.
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Amen. He looks like Lurch's son.
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Boob3rries: Hahaha! Ain't that so true?. I hate men who think they are the shit, when they kiss like desperate highschool boys. I love kissy-kissy times, so men who fail to give a good kiss are a major turn-off.
But yeah, when a lousy lover says "It was gooood..wasn't it!", I don't know if I should cry out loud or laugh my ass off.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Where's his momma now? I bet she's so proud!
At the end of the day, this dude is fucking ugly, I wouldn't let him touch a thing on me. I don't care how much money he has.
Damn he's ugly, I can't decide who is worse in the looks dept, him or tater head.
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Dick happens! - MK
He looks so desperate, if any guy ever looked at me like that I would turn around and run my ass out of there. He has a "rapist face".
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“Chicks love wang bone. Why do you think they have strap-ons and things in that nature, to simulate wang bones, which i come stocked with.”