Friday, September 5th 2008
Afternoon Crumbs
Tara Reid is looking ni-ni-nic....No, I can't do it. She still looks fug. There, that felt better - Egotastic!
Prince Hot Ginge out with his trick - Lainey Gossip
Xtina working the streets like a true tranny prostitute(site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Tila Tequila titty balls are almost bigger than her own head - Hollywood Tuna
Katy Perry is going to hell - Towleroad
Robert Downey Jr. beating down a barrel of sake - Just Jared
Goodbye, Astroland - Cityrag
Hayden Panatroll will be single soon - IDLYITW
Gwen Stefani is back to her old self - Popsugar
Ty Ty Banks is the top-earning woman on primetime TV. Why haven't I heard her shouting it from the rooftops yet? - Hollywood Rag
Love you Hayden. I don't care what anyone thinks, you are way too good for that droopy mouthed creeptard. Go out and have some fun while you're young.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
oooh and i can never get past tila tequila pie head...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
tara looks nice...for a 45 year old aging starlet...
astroland closing makes my heart hurt...
hayden is smarter than i gave her credit...
there's something about gwen stefani i just love...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Naomi is probably waiting around for Tyra to beat her down. Those two have a history!
"Put your hand out the window, feel the force" Darth Vader
coney island will never be the same
I commend Tara for disappearing into obscurity and getting her 'cuckoo on' in the privacy of God knows where.
She needs to share her secret hideout with approximately 17 other celebrity skanklets.
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The lines between sex and society are so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
OK:
RDJ I LOVE YOU!! FOREVER!! AND EVER! HAAAAAWWWWTTTT!
Also Tara Reid will NEVER look nice...she looks all saggy and gross. She needs to just be ok with her status as a washed up party slut that no one cares about.
Tila Tequila -- I'm still confused.
Over and out.
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
The Tara photos are a bit creepy. It looks like she arrives at some event, then her pimp shows up and drags her away. Who is that pimptastical looking dude anyway? I bet those celeb hookers hate when their high-dollar John's call during red carpet events.
Mr. Iron Roboto-san is big in Japan! porn star mustaccio rides for everyone!
Oh, and a painful seppukku for the asshole who thought it would be funny having Downey breaking a gargantuan sake barrel to celebrate the movie's success over there, I mean, c'mon! the dude is keeping his act clean but he's sure not made of iron *runs*.
sandbitch
Hot pussy times!!!
LMFAO I just re-read and noticed all the *hoiks* and thought about it and that's just what they sound like!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Sung to the tune of Polly Wolly Doodle....
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll go eat worms.
Long ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones,
Worms that wiggle and squirm.
Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice
And throw their tails away
Nobody knows how I survive
On worms three times a day.
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 5, 2008 - 4:59pm.
LCT!! - WORMS? Squeal! *hoik* *hoik* just when you think you've reached your personal *huuuoik* dry retch'o'limit, someone induces you that bit *hoik* further.
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Sorry... I didn't mean to induce dry-heaves. I had a few myself during the eye booger talk.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
LCT!! - WORMS? Squeal! *hoik* *hoik* just when you think you've reached your personal *huuuoik* dry retch'o'limit, someone induces you that bit *hoik* further.
Submitted by xxyxz on September 6, 2008 - 6:39am.
SandBitch
Were they covered in chocolate?
.
Nope, no choc, just ant a la natural. I would squash them first, then crunch. Unique flavour but not very filling, that's why I added mud to my diet.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 -3:38pm.
Do they poo IN the food? Is that why is has such a gastronomically fascinating outcome?
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Hahah. Actually the food tastes pretty decent this year, but it's really BAD for you and has tons of preservatives (got a friend that works there). So after a summer of eating lots of healthy stuff, it makes my bowels cry for help.
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Keep on keepin' on.
*Beef toot*
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
SandBitch
Were they covered in chocolate?
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 4:36pm.
@Stoney/LCT: You ladies seriously need to eat at my school's commons for two or three days. The food will make your butt beg for mercy, but the poo will make you slack-jawed with awe.
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Do they poo IN the food? Is that why is has such a gastronomically fascinating outcome?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
@Stoney/LCT: You ladies seriously need to eat at my school's commons for two or three days. The food will make your butt beg for mercy, but the poo will make you slack-jawed with awe.
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Keep on keepin' on.
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 5, 2008 - 4:29pm.
I use to eat ants, mud and chalk when I was a little bitch. Never EVA ate shit nor boogers.
Did you know that ear wax IS cholesterol?
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Did you eat worms? I think I tried that once.. I know I ate boogers once upon a time.
Is it really? If that's what cholesterol smells like then clean me OUT.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
FatMartha, I have halfway through posting 'so you're saying you ate bird shit more than once on purpose' and I got distracted. So sorry.
Submitted by Stoney on September 5, 2008 - 4:16pm.
I had steak and baked bean times the night before, so that explains the floating coiler. I seriously looked at that shit (pun intended) for like, 30 seconds. Wow!
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No kidding. I bet you could even see the beans still. That sort of turd is epic and memorable.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
I use to eat ants, mud and chalk when I was a little bitch. Never EVA ate shit nor boogers.
Did you know that ear wax IS cholesterol?
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 4:22pm.
HOT DAMN GIRL!
*high five*
Thunder Tongue A Lingis Times!
I need to hit the bong a long a ding dong man!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on September 5, 2008 - 3:17pm.
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 4:08pm.
DUDE Whaaaauuuuut?
You cant be kissing up on a man who ate his baby dookie!
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Oh it was worth it. Haha. Bitch had a thunder tongue!!
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 4:08pm.
DUDE Whaaaauuuuut?
You cant be kissing up on a man who ate his baby dookie!
*dials lover to ask if he has ever eaten shit out of a diaper. He hangs up on me. I giggle*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 - 2:19pm.
I had steak and baked bean times the night before, so that explains the floating coiler. I seriously looked at that shit (pun intended) for like, 30 seconds. Wow!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
FatMartha
I've heard of the same thing. It is also common for kids to
Smear it on walls! GROSS I think I would die if my kids ever did that
Submitted by xxyxz on September 5, 2008 - 3:07pm.
FatMartha
OMFG tell me you're kidding
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Hahaha. I wish I was. No wait, no I don't. It makes for an awesome story.
But every time I eat pesto made with basil I think it looks like I'm eating bird poo-smeared pasta (because our parrots had green poo).
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
On the subject of poo eating: I also babysat for a 1 year old who would poo in her diapers, then reach down there and eat it. My ex-boyfriend also told me that he would do the same when he was in diapers. *urk*
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
FatMartha
OMFG tell me you're kidding
bird poop tastes like chicken!
Umm maybe elmers glue?
@LCT: Well you know, I haven't a clue. We owned two parrots when I was a kid (Oscar and Albert, haha) and the bottom of their cage was just low enough for my toddler fingers to prod in there and swipe up the poo. It couldn't have tasted bad because my mother would catch me doing it all the time.
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 4:01pm.
LCT: I ate birdy poo when I was little. Even when I was but a fat wee tot, I loved the poo times. Freud would have said I had an anal fixation. Actually, I think all of us have that now.
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Did you really? What did it taste like?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
LCT: I ate birdy poo when I was little. Even when I was but a fat wee tot, I loved the poo times. Freud would have said I had an anal fixation. Actually, I think all of us have that now.
@Snowy: Hell naw! It's the weekend, beyatch! I ain't doin' SHIT til midnight Sunday!!
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Martha: have you finished your lessons young lady? ;P
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 3:56pm.
@LCT: Ahehehehahaahehohohoh. Eye boogers are pretty gross, I agree. I went to gradeschool with a kid who would eat them.
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OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT'S WORSE THAN EATING SCABS. I seriously can't think about eye boogers anymore, especially consuming them. Can we talk about regular boogers or pickles or something?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
@LCT: Ahehehehahaahehohohoh. Eye boogers are pretty gross, I agree. I went to gradeschool with a kid who would eat them.
Ugh I just gagged typing that because it was the sickest thing to watch.
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Snow!
Brilliance! Pure genius!
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I like to flag down taxies by lifting my skirt and holding my ass like a baby bump. So I end up having to take the bus A LOT. -Lolo
xxyxz LOL that's about it.
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by FatMartha on September 5, 2008 - 3:47pm.
Hahahaha... That's not in your head. That's reality - and it's me! *gives you a bag of her doggie's eyeboogers in gratitude*
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K, what;s your number so I can phone-puke at you?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Snot basically
http://www.adrants.com/2006/08/itching-boogers-grace-billboard.php
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 5, 2008 - 2:36pm.
Hahahaha all I can see in my head right now is the crazy dog cloning lady walking around with a bag of shit.
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Hahahaha... That's not in your head. That's reality - and it's me! *gives you a bag of her doggie's eyeboogers in gratitude*
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Snowy
Niiiiice
Well will it still be up on Sunday ?
I want to try to go
even though i fucking hat the f train with a hate you just would NOT understand.
AND I HATE THE DELANCY STOP! HATE IT!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by snowpiece on September 5, 2008 - 3:44pm.
LCT: let alone Parasite's!
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What are eye boogers made of?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
LCT: let alone Parasite's!****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by snowpiece on September 5, 2008 - 3:40pm.
LCT you need to refresh and look at me....
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HOW THE FUCK CAN SOMEONE TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE'S EYE BOOGERS? HOW??????????
Calm down Carrot times, she's just wiping mascara. That's all. No eye anomalies, just mascara.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
LMAO LOLO: Do you know I have lived here for about 15 years and I have never been to Coney Island? Now it looks like it's too late. ;(
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "