Put It Away, Chestica
Jessica Simpson and her titty balls made their Grand Ole Opry debut on Saturday night and some of the audience members were not pleased with the fact that her rack was out in full display.
One bitch told People: "I think she should have put some clothes on." I think she should have put a muzzle on.
Another ho also complained about Chestica's chest: "I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately." Crystal Shawanda?! I have no idea who that chick is, but she's already my favorite country star of all time. I think the angels gave her that name.
After watching her "performance," I'm more offended by her strained frog warble than what she's wearing. She sounds like a raccoon getting a 5-finger anal exam.
Jessica belongs on a pick-up truck dashboard, not on the stage of the Grand Ole' Opry.
She summed it up herself by saying: "I can't believe I am here!" Somewhere in heaven, Hank Williams is screaming, "ME NEITHER!"
Well, well well... looky what we have here. BITCH!!
I bin searchin' for my blonde wig EVERYWHERE ! !
*bitchslaps*
Didn't Daddy tell you next time he caught ya sneakin off the dashboard he was gonna rip out your voicebox then knock the stuffin out yer head?... hmmm, so he got to ya already.
*offers a hug*
Nevermind, lets get back, down some beers, smoke some green and coochieflash some oncoming trucks.
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I told ya I was trouble...
Blech...that was truly atrocious......she is trying way to hard
Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been. SPIRAL OUT
Submitted by gmrjr59 on September 9, 2008 - 1:42am.
Don't see how Dolly Parton and Jessica Simpson are all that different. I like both of them.
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O now you're just tryna incite violence.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Don't see how Dolly Parton and Jessica Simpson are all that different. I like both of them.
She needs to shut up about her relationships the stench of desperation scares sane men away.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Cuntry fans need to realize that dressing like a slut *is* Jessica's talent. The singing thing is just an excuse.
BTW, I wonder when Joe Simpson is going to run out of money to pay off all these venues so they will let his little honey perform?
"If your hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck." -Foxworthy
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Horrible - slutty dress, what's with that face she makes and what the hell makes that a country tune - cos she has some twang going on - back up singers are the only thing that kept that train wreck on the tracks.....all round crap.
Crystal Shawanda is an Ojibwe, Native Canadian singer. I've seen her perform live, and met her afterward. She's pretty talented, and a really sweet person.
This no-talent cuntry wannabe needs a Goo-Goo Cluster shoved up her no-no hole, pronto. Better yet, shove it down her throat. Maybe she'll choke to death on that chocolately peanutty marshmallowy goodness and die, thereby sparing the rest of the world from listening to her attempt to sing.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by MarkyMark7 on September 8, 2008 - 1:49pm
You mean that WASN'T someone skinning animals alive on stage? Jess is in desperate need of some voice lessons.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
I hear she is a major bitch to deal with in person.
Only Dolly is allowed to flaunt her twins on the Opry stage because everyone knows they are her muses and we will always love her. But this cacophonous mess needs to call it a night and a fluke of a career and cuddle up forever with some chicken of the sea at home.
"Society sooner or later must return to its lost leader,the cultured and fascinating liar. . ."
Oscar Wilde
Living in the heart of Opryland, I can tell you that crowd doesn't wanna see titties...unless they are Dolly's. They want to hear good music. So basically, there was no reason for her to be there.
Bitch needs to realise that not all of her audience thinks with their dicks. We're not her daddy.
Wow ! that's really bad. She's doing the JLO thing. Can't sell in mainstream so go with where you "came from". This move is the kiss of death, again just like JLO except jlo is worse.
I completely loathe this bitch AND her skanky untalented sister. And the father... don't even get me started on that freak.
I hate this entire family. They are so undeserving of fame and fortune.
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RIMADYL KILLS
that's the stage minnie pearl and loretta lynn stood on...who the hell booked this no talent broad on the opry?
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Has anyone noticed the drastic dive her self-confidence has taken in the last little while? She looks like a meek little 8 year old at a recital when she sings.
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Well she's been booed at some county/state fairs lately, so she probably doesn't know what kind of a reception she's going to get.
Her single is released today. I couldn't get through the video either. Pretty sad - but watch her get one of the nominations for Country Newcomer of the year and probably win.
I bet Roy Acuff is rolling in his grave. His beautiful Opry stage dessicrated like that!!! How sad!! Plus, why does it seem like she's trying to look like Carrie underwood? Maybe because she knows Carrie has real talent, and all Jessica has is tits and a pervy Dad?
Living well is the best revenge.......
Why the hell are they booking her in so many places? Is it because of her fucking boobs?! This is so insulting, she can barely sing. The dress makes her shoulders look massive! Well, her boobs are just bouncing around like crazy, maybe that's why so many people are cheering...
Your face!
I'd rather watch to cats yowling
Who the fuck booked her for the god damned Grand Ole Opry? She has no business there, she has not earned that honor.
I like Jessica Simpson, even. I rooted for her when she and Nick broke up and she went through a string of pathetic break ups. I don't like her music at all, but I found The Newlyweds entertaining.
She blows my balls off. Everything she does looks like a four year old could have done it better, and I can't figure out who in their right mind would put her on the most famous stage in country music.
Tres disappointing.
Did you see all the pervy old men ogling that tittay display? I bet there was some geriatric headboards rattling in Nashville that night, and some Memaw baloney vag getting banged hard!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgeDh1WCyeM
She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆--------
Somewhere in Switzerland, Shania Twain is laughing and saying...
"See bitch, I told ya!"
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Someone must of spiked her chicken of the sea with jalapeno peppers. She was yelping like her mouth was on fire. AH NEED YUH NAAAAAAAHHHHHHHER
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MK in '08!!!!
when you wear a dress with a neckline like that isn't there supposed to be actual cleavage?
"what the crap are you talking about?"~RennyBB10
http://www.myspace.com/midsummernitesdream
she shouldn't stomp her foot like that, it inforces her horsiness. I made it through ten seconds of that shit, I'm proud of myself.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
man she got that big ole texas hair now doesnt she. reminds me of a king of the hill charater.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 8, 2008 - 12:43pm.
hey Nitty! I think something "green" will go nice with the purple drank.......lol
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Well, isn't that coincidence? Since green is my favorite color?! Oh happy days! ;)
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Nittay, I'll add it to "the box." heheheh
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"Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea." ~Jack Kerouac
my husband and I have a bet..I asserted that Gisselle was prob. the most famous qb girlfriend, while my husband thinks more people know Jessica simpson. Granted, he did follow it with well dear, she's such a pathetic bitch she'd pretty much allow people to shit on her if it got her some needed attention (which is good, since now I don't need to get a divorce), but I"m still sure I'm right. What do you guys think?
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Isn't Putin Grand?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4088345.stm
hey Nitty! I think something "green" will go nice with the purple drank.......lol
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Oooooh child, things are gonna get easier
Oooooh child, things will get brighter
Jessica's only talent is showing her tits, yet she won't pose for Playboy. What a hypocrite.
And why exactly is this considered country music? Because of the twangy guitar thing? Blech.
Like a Rhinestone Retart
Is this the retarded cow boy fella Russel Brand was talking about in the opening of the VMA's?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Dee, keep the CD..Just send me the purple drank.
Pimpcessa, WORD x 1000!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
This wasn't a performance. This was an audition for the remake of 'Rhinestone'. In this version, Chestica takes over the role Sylvester Stallone played in the original. I think Willie Nelson should play the role of her mentor who teaches her how to be a real country western singer. And, like in the original, 90 minutes later Chestica will still sound like shit.
NitWitty
All is well for me too. You know this bitch is thinking she should have been nicer to Nick and she wouldn't be having to embarass herself anymore with this trying to sing thing.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Around the 1:00 performance, my laptop hanged on me.
Gawd! Even my laptop can't stand this awful fuckery!
We all bleed the same, and we all bleed through this life the same...
Oh right Nits. But I don't want to punish innocent ears. I'll just use the CD as a coaster for mah purple drank.
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"Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea." ~Jack Kerouac
Hey, Pimpcessa! It's better than being in the audiance at the Grand Ol' Opry! How's by you?
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Precisely so, DramaQ! Um, Dee..I told you to just donate to a charity on my behalf! I'm sure the "how to beat tone deafness school," down the street would appreciate it for there, "what not to do," classes.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
NitWitty
Wazzup??
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by angel_i on September 8, 2008 - 1:17pm.
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Yes!!! Then somebody can hogtie this cow and sink her to the bottom of the ocean. I can't believe this is what passes as music nowadays...fucking disgusting.
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The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 8, 2008 - 1:10pm.
lovecarrottop
I dunno, I can see her playing the clown at a ghetto circus, that would be good.
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Talk about scaring the shit out of kids. They'd need a new diaper every 4 seconds.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Enough! Bitch, you can't sing! I've heard pageant and regional fair contestants with better voices. Hell, there were girls in my high school who could sing circles around this tranny! I'm so goddamn sick of hearing her scream into the microphone and act like it's music. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many times she went sharp and/or flat during that exploding caca fest known as a performance. And "highly anticipated"? Bitch, quit lying. NO one wants to hear this bimbo sing! We know Joe told you to say that! It makes me so fucking mad that this tramp has a singing career because her father bought her one. Pfff! Die, you plastic big-tittied no-talent HOOR!!!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Hey Nit, I just bought your birthday present.....er wait, uh nevermind.
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"Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea." ~Jack Kerouac
Nitwitty: You hit the nail on the head. Someone's out there buying the shit & attending the functions they're performing at. Once the public ceases to care, she'll cease to exist.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Ok now what the fuck is up with this bobble-head business?? And the hair-do straight out of hee haw??
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!