Jacko's Stained Panties Can Be Yours!
Somebody's dreams will come true tomorrow when they win Jacko's size-28 Calvin Klein panties in an eBay auction. The reserve price is $1 million. For that kind of money, Jacko's panty pudding better have bits of diamonds in it. Ugh. Forget I wrote that. It has bits of something, but it ain't diamonds.
The dirty panties in question were part of Jacko's 2003 child molestation case. The DA took a DNA sample from them. The panties eventually found themselves in the hands of a NJ business man (shudder). He got a hold of them in a bankruptcy case. Jacko's undies come sealed in an evidence bag with police tape wrapped around it.
Other shit being auctioned include a handwritten note from Jacko to Lisa Marie Presley explaining why he wants an annulment and a half-used tube of skin bleaching cream.
Whoever buys Jacko's panty-pudding stained undies better automatically receive a surprise visit from Chris Hansen. What the hell do you do with Jacko's Jesus-juice-stained underoos anyway? Actually, I don't even want to know. Even my mind doesn't go to those kind of places. Okay, it does, but I'm not sharing.
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Sorry ladies :(
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Stoney on September 9, 2008 - 4:34pm.
Actually, I think I remember from the trial that that poor kid said Jacko's wang was black and white striped like a candy cane. It was all white when flacid, but when it got hard the dark skin in the creases flattened out giving it a striped effect. *projectile vomits*
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I seriously can't even tell you what's going through my mind right now. just the concept of MJ having a boner that looks like a zebra is wrong on more levels that even conceivable.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Lolo, you keep talking like that and you'use going to be hold my hare while I puke.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Actually, I think I remember from the trial that that poor kid said Jacko's wang was black and white striped like a candy cane. It was all white when flacid, but when it got hard the dark skin in the creases stretched and flattened out giving it a striped effect. *projectile vomits*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by xxyxz on September 9, 2008 - 4:26pm.
LCT
lol... that is GROSSER then eye boogers! almost like old ball times
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Old balls that haven't been washed since the Vietnam War covered in old ratty pubes and smegma with a condom from the 80s still hanging on.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
This use to be a BLACK man.
Submitted by LoLo on September 9, 2008 - 4:21pm.
I bet he has liver spots on his little penis.
And maybe some bruises and a carpet burn too
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DOOOOON'T TALK ABOUT HIS PENIS! OH MY GOD DON'T DO IT. IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN HE SAID IT.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
LCT
lol... that is GROSSER then eye boogers! almost like old ball times
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
Submitted by heyheyheyangel on September 9, 2008 - 4:52pm.
HA HA HA! Teh smooth nuts?
I HAVE A TEH SMOOVE NUTS! lol!!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Oh my fucking God this is grosser than eye boogers.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
@lolo- I totally thought of that same Chapelle quote. I was thiscloseliterally to typing that.
Submitted by Stoney on September 9, 2008 - 4:15pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That is why I said everyone hates us!
I bet he has liver spots on his little penis.
And maybe some bruises and a carpet burn too
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *THROWS UP*
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
I'm so glad the dirty underwear that housed a child molestor's shriveled bald splotchy-colored wang is available for purchase. Really says something about our country, don't you think?
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
He totally wears Batman and Robin drawers. Gotta rep that man/boy love to the fullest!
This is why everyone hates us.
He botox's his nuts
Smooth Eggs
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I swear I don't know how he does anything without spontaneously combusting. Dude is a walking flammable label hazard.
Holy shit. I feel physically ill picturing tighty whites with Michael spunk crusty dried on it. it conjurs images of flacid pasty shrivled little peen. And no ball hair, of course. I bet his butt is saggy and has smooth wrinkles. Like a balled up sheet of paper ironed out reballed ironed out..repeat. Now everyone can understand what this news has done to my dinner plans.
miss Jacko is size 28????
Fuck, I hate life.
In the words of MK: "That shit makes me uncomfortable."
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Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
A Virgin auction now Jacko's panties.
Shopping on DLISTED is getting expensive.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
what's with the lip liner?
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
Sickening...
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
And now for something completely different...
Is is Halloween yet?! wtf is up with today's post!!?!!!?
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
oh, I'm definitely a gossip whore- I was addicted to ET and Access Hollywood when I was a youngster....maybe I was Hedda Hopper in a past life!
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I've been cheated, been mistreated, when will I be loved?
I've been put down, I've been pushed 'round- when will I be loved?
- Buddy Holly
that pic looks like the decomposing corpse of marylin manson, jesus.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
you should! graat minds I guess... Or you're just a celeb. Gossip whore like M.K
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
I can't decide which is more dominating: if this is the most erotic news story of the day or if it is the most reassuring news about pop culture and humanity in general.
Maybe it's both. what a relief..
www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore
xxyz.....should I start a blog?
hahahaha
just kidding MK....I can't be bothered....I just like making fun when I get a story first....
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I've been cheated, been mistreated
When will I be loved?
- Buddy Holly
he he..
Im glad you knew what I meant!
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
I meant another story you brought up that turned into a post!
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
"Other shit being auctioned include a handwritten note from Jacko to Lisa Marie Presley explaining why he wants an annulment and a half-used tube of skin bleaching cream."
Seriously? I would love to read THAT letter, lol.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
xxyz......and here it is!
I knew MK would have it soon.....but I beat him again....Heh heh heh.....
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I've been cheated, been mistreated
When will I be loved?
- Buddy Holly
PSL... another one! lol
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This avvie is for Oklahoma
Jesus, who would buy that shit?