Big Mac Lover
Some bitches are addicted to normal shit like crack, booze, sex and shopping. Don Gorske of Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin is addicted to eating Big Macs from McDonald's. He's reaaaaaaallly lovin' it. He's the Amy Wino of McDonald's and Ronald McDonald is his dealer.
Don's obsession for the heart attacks in a box began on May 17, 1972 and he's still at it. Last month, Don gobbled Big Mac #23,000.
I weep for his bowels. I also weep for his toilet. His toilet must see some fucked up shit. Literally.
Thanks to his OCD, Don keeps receipts of every Big Mac he has ever eaten in a box. He eats two Big Macs and two parfaits a day. In the past 36 years, he's missed his daily Big Mac only eight times because of work emergencies and other shit like that. In 1982, his local McDonald's closed because of a snow storm. Don now keeps a few frozen Big Macs in his freezer just in case.
Despite his diet of shit food, Don claims he's healthy. He's 6'2" and weighs 185 pounds. He walks about 16 kilometers a day.
Don said: “Sometimes people call me a freak but it doesn't bother me. I just say respect people as they are. I just want to make sure people understand I'm not going to change.”
Don wrote a book on his obsession and was also featured in the documentary "Super Size Me."
I thought I had a fucking problem with eating a bunch of crap on a daily basis. This dude makes my diet look like Vadge's. I mean, how the fuck is he still functioning? How has his stomach not fallen out of his body or his heart not gone on strike?! McCoronary!
As soon as I read this story, I immediately wondered if Don's obsession for Big Macs goes beyond just eating them. Do you think he sticks his pickle between their two buns and gives them an extra shot of mayo? You know he does.
And thanks to Don, I think we found Posh's new "it" 'do. The bowl-mullet! Bowllet!
Thanks Kate
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Submitted by angel_i on September 10, 2008 - 7:28am.
People who claim OCD about shit. I wonder. Did they ever TRY to stop? Did they ever just say: Tomorrow, I'm not going to do that? Or do they just allow themselves to do whatever the fuck comes to mind whenever they feel like it. Self-discipline is not taught anywhere in this society. There is SO much facism, so many rules that the only thing we get to learn is rebellion and self-indulgence. After years of being chained to a desk, forced to stand in line, fill out forms and suck up every bastard in authority's bad day - fuck it, I'm gonna live on Big Macs really doesn't sound so crazy
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No, people with OCD just cannot STOP. Most people with OCD are OCD about specific things, not just random shit here and there, differing each day. It is the same shit, day in and day out. You CAN'T just stop and change. Most people have to go to therapy to try and retrain their brain to NO obsess on whatever their "thing" is.
Why would he brag about being addicted to Big Macs? Does he think this is an accomplishment?!? I tend to think he's not OCD, just an attention ho.
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"This isn't going to involve children or hiking, is it?"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 10, 2008 - 11:31am.
Claiming to have OCD and being diagnosed as having OCD are two different things.
Before I seal an envelope I always have to check 7 times to make sure I haven't put Minch in there.
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I can haz meilbocks plz?
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by angel_i on September 10, 2008 - 11:28am.
People who claim OCD about shit. I wonder. Did they ever TRY to stop? Did they ever just say: Tomorrow, I'm not going to do that? Or do they just allow themselves to do whatever the fuck comes to mind whenever they feel like it.
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I think A LOT of people claim they have OCD for the attention *coughJUSTINTIMBERLAKEcough* They know they don't really have it so aren't terribly worried about their quirks, which they probably do on purpose, to claim they have OCD. I would think people who actually HAVE OCD don't go around bragging about it and think their habits are just the way they are.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Claiming to have OCD and being diagnosed as having OCD are two different things.
Before I seal an envelope I always have to check 7 times to make sure I haven't put Minch in there.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Ow, ya dont stop, c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon,
Give me more of that funky horn
What's that? Yeah. Funky Funky. Biddy biddy bop.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 10, 2008 - 11:24am.
Carrottop,
Not if you washy washy, Silly!
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But soap in cut times stiiiiiiiiings!
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
People who claim OCD about shit. I wonder. Did they ever TRY to stop? Did they ever just say: Tomorrow, I'm not going to do that? Or do they just allow themselves to do whatever the fuck comes to mind whenever they feel like it. Self-discipline is not taught anywhere in this society. There is SO much facism, so many rules that the only thing we get to learn is rebellion and self-indulgence. After years of being chained to a desk, forced to stand in line, fill out forms and suck up every bastard in authority's bad day - fuck it, I'm gonna live on Big Macs really doesn't sound so crazy.
We're human beings. Not human doings.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by Shady.Carli on September 10, 2008 - 7:24am.
They shoot the "special sauce" (thousand island dressing) out of a caulking gun. I'm sorry, but I just can't eat something that got squirted out of a caulking gun.
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Sometimes when Pudge is caulking stuff around the house he gives himself a little shot of caulk as a snack.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Ow, ya dont stop, c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon,
Give me more of that funky horn
What's that? Yeah. Funky Funky. Biddy biddy bop.
Carrottop,
Not if you washy washy, Silly!
On topic,
I've watched people struggle with OCD and it's heart-breaking.
This mullet head may not have OCD, but no, OCD has nothing to do with no self discipline.
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
OCD is not NSDD.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 10, 2008 - 11:15am.
Carrottop,
"The love of a woman who sees the marks of nails on the private parts of her body, even though they are old and almost worn out, becomes again fresh and new."
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You mean cuts on your vag are a good thing? I thought that just promoted infection.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by name_optional on September 10, 2008 - 10:06am.
If hear that lipstick wearin' pig Palin mispronounce the country we invaded "eye rack" one more gOD damn time I'm gonna have an anxiety attack myself!
Flat Earth Republicans have tin ears when it comes to ignorance.
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Hahahaa! Palin does look like a Lenscrafters model. I like the ad "Palin: another BUSH we can't trust"!
Ok, I took the bait! lol
Ironically, after reading this, I have the urge to go shit out about 5lbs.
Carrottop,
"The love of a woman who sees the marks of nails on the private parts of her body, even though they are old and almost worn out, becomes again fresh and new."
On topic:
Normally this post would make me want a Big Mac, but it's Chinese Wednesday!!!
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on September 10, 2008 - 10:20am.
We all engage specific behavioural strategies to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
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My strategies of choice are:
Anonymous sex
Retail therapy
Binge eating
Rocking
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Ow, ya dont stop, c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon,
Give me more of that funky horn
What's that? Yeah. Funky Funky. Biddy biddy bop.
o boy
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on September 10, 2008 - 10:20am.
With all due respect, I think that you are being very glib in your assessment here.
Disordered anxiety and the responses that many adopt to cope are not trivial matters. We all engage specific behavioural strategies to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
If you think that a man eating hamburgers is bullshit behaviour, then you ought check me out when I've collapsed breathless on the floor after a particularly intensive anxiety attack. :3
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OCD or NSDD (no self discipline disorder)
call it what you will.
Damn it. I'm no doctor but I do know this.
If hear that lipstick wearin' pig Palin mispronounce the country we invaded "eye rack" one more gOD damn time I'm gonna have an anxiety attack myself!
Flat Earth Republicans have tin ears when it comes to ignorance.
So he eats this crap not because he enjoys it, but because he's obsessive-compulsive. Ok. Whatever. Many people eat crappy junk food, it's no surprise.
What amazes me is his fugly hillbilly haircut, man. Maybe he could channel his disorder to his own advantage... like getting a really contemporary and cool haircut. He looks hooked on the 70's.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
To hell with his bowels, somebody needs to check this guys liver, it probably about the size and hardness of a fucking hockey puck. If it's not he needs to will his body to science or give it to McDonalds for further investigation. Since 1972 - you have to be shitting me!
he should save time and just throw the Big Mac straight into the toilet
Culcha, i'm craving McDonalds as a result of this post. What can i say, i'm weak.
On a related note, my boyfriend has NEVER had a Big Mac. He's had just about every other thing from every fast food place on this planet, yet he's never had a Big Mac. That's all i used to order from McDonald's back in the day.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
thanks justjane, I couldn't for the life of me catch what it was they'd put in the blender...b:)
That poor bastard. Damn, now I want a Big Mac after reading that story!
Submitted by Clarisse on September 10, 2008 - 10:31am.
Carrottop!
Of course i left a hand-print! Haven't you ever read the Kama Sutra?
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No; are handprints like sexual acupuncture? Oh man, all this McDonald's talk is REALLY making me want a chezburger.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Loozer I admit it, no problem. But honestly, it'd been maybe six months and I had a bic mac supersized meal the other day and boy, my body can't take it anymore. I felt all tired and stoned afterwards. It was really strange.
Carrottop!
Of course i left a hand-print! Haven't you ever read the Kama Sutra?
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
loozer: Me too. I am a self-professed nutrition nazi, but sometimes the kids and I will have McDonald's for lunch. About four times a year.
I miss the old french fries - the ones fried in beef tallow. This new formula bites.
Meh, as long as it's not had caulk in first...
eszter: Don says that his wife, yea, I know, says that when she has to put them(big Macs) in the blender, it's over. Something tells me that's not how its going to go down.
They shoot the "special sauce" (thousand island dressing) out of a caulking gun. I'm sorry, but I just can't eat something that got squirted out of a caulking gun.
We don't get Wendy's in the UK :( (not to my knowledge, at least - there used to be a couple in London)
MacDonalds breakfasts (specifically pancakes) were my preferred hangover remedy 'back in the day'.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The long hot summer just passed me by.
Culcha,
It is weird that Mickey D's serves millions every day, but yet no Dlister's will admit to eating there. I like a good ole quarter pounder w/ cheese every now and then and I am not ashamed to say it. (However, I prefer Wendy's)
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I used to be a swinger
Til you wrapped me
Round your finger,
Just like a yo-yo
Just like a yo-yo
It would be better with cheese.
Yes, I should add that I'm eating a raw carrot at this moment.
Try as I might, I can't resist an EggMcMuffin a couple of times a month. I also love the cheeseburgers, (the onions & pickles make 'em). Oh and the Southern Chicken, which is a Chik-fil-A rip-off. I eat tons of fresh fruit, veggies, and nuts, and exercise alot too. Curse you, Ronald McDonald!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by name_optional on September 10, 2008 - 2:10pm.
With all due respect, I think that you are being very glib in your assessment here.
Disordered anxiety and the responses that many adopt to cope are not trivial matters. We all engage specific behavioural strategies to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
If you think that a man eating hamburgers is bullshit behaviour, then you ought check me out when I've collapsed breathless on the floor after a particularly intensive anxiety attack. :3
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
Man, am I the only one this story makes want a McDonalds, then? :(
Submitted by MinxInSpace on September 10, 2008 - 9:02am.
Hahahahaha. I can relate to the crappy high school job. I worked a local fast food place in hs and absolutely hated it. I cannot believe how rude people can be to service workers. Since then, I'm very polite to everyone who works for the public.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺c
"Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea." ~Jack Kerouac
You couldn't pay me to eat a Big Mac. Doesn't this guy know what they put in that shit?
Submitted by Clarisse on September 10, 2008 - 10:08am.
LCT!
*runs over to smack Carrot's ass*
Now, it's a good morning!
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YOWZA! You left a hand print!
*smacks Clarisse's side-boob*
Happy HumpDay!
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
OCD?
What a pussy ass excuse for a ufcktarded behavior.
Let's call it what it really is.
NO SELF DISCIPLINE.
what does he say at 0:49??
i replayed it like 10 times but i still can't catch it
LCT!
*runs over to smack Carrot's ass*
Now, it's a good morning!
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
By Fon Du Lac standards (I've actaully been there on business), Don is on the slim side...and I dare say, probably a trendsetter with the bowlett.
I've just noticed that he has been identified as living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I suppose that would help to account for his seemingly strange behaviour.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
John Lennon lives! The preservatives in Big Macs are enough to keep him aliiiiive!
Morning hoes and shovels.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
i bet he loves the special sauce. I wonder if he gets any special sauce on his bowlette.
mk....considering his love of the big macs, he hair should be called the bowlette!
Submitted by DeeDee on September 10, 2008 - 7:57am.
Ewww. I make it a point never to eat anything with "special sauce."
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I don't blame you. The special sauce is nothing special. It's Thousand Island dressing. I used to work at Mickey D's when I was 16 (WORST.JOB.EVER.), and I discovered the "secret".
McGross.
Big Mac's used to be my hangover cure, but then I graduated high school.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...