Sausage Attacker On The Loose!
Antonio Vasquez Jr.,the man who hit a dude in the face and head with his 8-inch pork sausage, has been released from jail! Antonio was arrested after he stole $900 from a house then attacked one dude with his sausage and rubbed spices in the face of another. Silent movie foolery!
FresnoBee reports that he's been released because there was not enough evidence to press charges. The 8-inch sausage in question was gobbled up by some slutty dog before the cops could get to it!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to travel to Fresno today for um....business...yeah...business reasons. Once I get there, I'm going to be really tired, so I'll have to take a nap on the front porch of a house. And I like the fresh smell of oranges when I nap, so the house will be near an orange orchard. I'll also be a little hungry when I wake up from my nap, so I'm going to leave a 10-inch pork sausage (yes, it's like that) on the kitchen counter. NOT in the fridge. I like my pork sausage at room temperature.
Did you get all of that, Antonio?
• 
ahahaahahahahhaahahaah fucking shit i love this fucking place. *snork*
Sausagefest gone bad.
***********************************************
Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
His face looks computer generated. The symmetry is so perfect.
i don't eat pork products, but i still say beating a dude with an 8 inch sausage is just cruel...to the sausage...
_____________________________________________
so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
that's my kind of crime!!!
how do i get in contact with this fucker???
8 inch sausage. Yeah, right. Net-inches again.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Come and sleep on my porch, doll. I know enough gays in Fresno, to keep you slapped with sausage til the Cows come home.
Couldn't you find a more phallic looking sausage?
I'm bored with you now.
LCT ;)
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by snowpiece on September 11, 2008 - 12:07pm.
LOL reminds me of what we used to call "eye~lash hogies"
-------------
*urk*
*ralph*
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Anyone else think he looks like Dave Navarro's ugly brother?
MK YOU WHORE!!!!!!!!
LOL reminds me of what we used to call "eye~lash hogies" YUCK!?!?!?!?****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by snowpiece on September 11, 2008 - 12:00pm.
OMG LCT I am so glad I have not eating lunch yet.....
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
-------------
Awwwww, why'd you have to say lunch? I just got a mental image of pulling a pube out of a sandwich.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
OMG LCT I am so glad I have not eating lunch yet.....
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 11, 2008 - 8:56am.
All of you folks should walk out right now while telling the boss that you are too ill to work because of the biohazards on your phone and computers.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on September 11, 2008 - 11:51am.
Would you like us to send you some Lysol and Chlorox wipes?
*cyber hug*
----------------
I think a large amount of matches so I can burn the place down would do the trick.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 11, 2008 - 8:48am.
Would you like us to send you some Lysol and Chlorox wipes?
*cyber hug*
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by KD on September 11, 2008 - 11:42am.
LCT- I wondered where I had left it! AH, JK!
Are you sure it's not an old man's eyebrow hair? Those things can get long and curly.
--------------------
No, it looks just like a pube. And I talked to a lady here and she said they've been asking the cleaning ladies to go above and beyond lately and she thinks they might be using the same rags in the bathroom that they use on our PHONES AND KEYBOARDS. *Shudder* I think I want to die.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by Stock Broker on September 11, 2008 - 11:35am.
LoveCarrotTop ~ you need a HazMat team in your office to dispose of that phone.
--------------------
YES! I was just thinking that. I also need a wheelchair. I don't want to risk stepping on it and having it stick to my shoe and carry it home with me. I guess though if I had a wheelchair I could run the risk of touching it.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
LCT- I wondered where I had left it! AH, JK!
Are you sure it's not an old man's eyebrow hair? Those things can get long and curly.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on September 12, 2008 - 12:13am.
I have to wait until somebody uploads it on Surfthechannel. But I still have my vibrator. Last weekend I was sleeping with a guy and he told me that I was moaning in my sleep like I was having a hot sex dream. The thing is I remember dreaming about Jensen. I didn't tell him. Heh.
----------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yFZQaUlcgA
Try watching this and not getting emotional. Just a little.
LoveCarrotTop ~ you need a HazMat team in your office to dispose of that phone.
WINGS the best show ever..
thnks for the memories. :)
and sausage king might be too popul. in jail. :)
;) :) :O =) :p :( :\ :D
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on September 11, 2008 - 11:29am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 11, 2008 - 8:23am.
I JUST FOUND A FUCKING PUBIC HAIR ON MY FUCKING WORK PHONE. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
===========
You Canucks have strange mating rituals.
****************************
Ummmmmm....no thank you. We have regions too, you know.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on September 11, 2008 - 11:30am.
The phallic imagery here is astonishing.
***********************************
Ya think? ;p
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
The phallic imagery here is astonishing.
One could reasonably assume that there were far more effective weapons available to the assailant, and yet he choose the closest allusion to a penis that he possible could.
It almost sounds like a classic Freudian reaction formation, although in such case, one's libidinal energy is usually channeled into something more socially acceptable than assault and battery.
Unless of course we are dealing with a person's masochistic sexual drive - the classic example of the interdependence of Eros and Pathos. As we know, it is possible to distinguish these two drives theoretically, although they rarely influence behaviour exclusively.
=========================================
Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 11, 2008 - 8:23am.
I JUST FOUND A FUCKING PUBIC HAIR ON MY FUCKING WORK PHONE. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
===========
You Canucks have strange mating rituals.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
mk mk mk.....*sigh* estas loco lol
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
This reminds me of a great old episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Barbara Bel Geddes (aka Miss Ellie on Dallas)kills her cheating husband with a frozen leg of lamb. She then cooks the murder weapon and feeds it to the cops that come to investigate the death.
*************************************************
I used to be a swinger
Til you wrapped me
Round your finger,
Just like a yo-yo
Just like a yo-yo
I JUST FOUND A FUCKING PUBIC HAIR ON MY FUCKING WORK PHONE. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
ATOMIC POOOOOOOOOOOO!
I understand people of different ethnic backgrounds eat foods that are 'unfamiliar' to use Canadians, but for the love of God, brush your fucking teeth and Febreze yourself before you leave the house.
-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Drama, I like when Antonio sings "Michael row the boat ashore"....thinks the words are "My goat knows the bowling score"......hahahhahaha
Roy and Faye crack my ass up too. Great show!
**************************************************
It happened in Bev Hills, when Kim was going from "Dancing With the Stars" rehearsal to her home to shoot the even lamer "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."
-from TMZ
You still on this guy MK?!
I hear Antonio needs a submissive type for his porn shoot.Must be comfortable with being beaten by overstuffed sausage.If you're not posting for a coupla' three days in the near future...I'll know what happened.;->
PSL: One of my favorite lines ever came from that show: "One minute we were smacking each other with meat, & then it got weird."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Stock Broker on September 11, 2008 - 11:46am.
I had bratwurst for dinner last night that's not sitting well with me today.
Thanks MK...this just made it worse.
------------------
You're not supposed to digest the sausage
I had bratwurst for dinner last night that's not sitting well with me today.
Thanks MK...this just made it worse.
MK you sick sick bitch...
this is why I come here 20 times a day.
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
"Wings" was such a funny show! Great characters!
and Tim Daly is beyond hot.
**************************************************
It happened in Bev Hills, when Kim was going from "Dancing With the Stars" rehearsal to her home to shoot the even lamer "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."
-from TMZ
Damn, you all are some smart sluts! Thank you all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on September 11, 2008 - 8:06am.
It was written by Roald Dahl, of Willy Wonka fame, entitled "Absence of Evidence".
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
CE: It may have been on "Wings" too, but I found it -- not a movie, an "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" episode. Here's the link if anyone cares: http://www.spout.com/films/174069/default.aspx
Are you excited? "Lazarus Rising" is next week!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Dramaqueen, I'm pretty sure that's one of Roald Dahl's short stories that was made into a tv series : "tales of the unexpected", I believe.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_to_the_Slaughter
Voila!
DramaQueen.. OMG< I love Hitchcock. It comes on daily at 12, H-cock hour. So fucking good, comes on the Chiller Channel. But I hadn't seen that epi yet. I love the movies, but Not really him, I mean, could ya talk a lil quicker please..
*stiffens up cause i just got scared*
-----------------------------------
I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on September 12, 2008 - 12:06am.
I thought that was an episode of Wings.
----------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yFZQaUlcgA
Try watching this and not getting emotional. Just a little.
well I hope Antonio(said like Banderas) meets a girl who likes mustard and...buns. ;>
;) :) :O =) :p :( :\ :D
LOVE CARROTTOP on September 11, 2008 - 11:04am.
Speaking of smelly things, someone who clearly lives in a curry factory just entered the building and it's now all anyone can smell.
- Well that decides it, Indian Food for lunch.
Atomic poo times, here I come.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Oh, MK, you dirty little whore. I love you!
----------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yFZQaUlcgA
Try watching this and not getting emotional. Just a little.
This reminds me of an old movie I saw where a woman murdered her husband by beating him w/ a frozen leg of lamb. She then had a dinner party where she served the lamb to her guests, including the detective on the case. Anybody else remember that? Hitchcock, maybe?
& yes, ew, it does look like it has a fingernail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Weird, i was cleaning my closet and found a pseudo wedding dress i bought from Urban Outfitters for $190 or so, Antonio.