Faith Dealer By Day, Coke Dealer By Night

Holy cokey! Reverend Christopher Layden, a catholic priest, has been arrested and charged with selling coke from his church office and rectory. 33-year-old Chris was busted on Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center on the University of Illinois campus in Urbana. The cops were able to catch him thanks to a little help from an "informant." Jesus works in mysterious ways.

Cops confiscated three grams of coke during their search of his rectory. But did they search his rectum?

Fox News reports that Chris pleaded not guilty to "two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church." The charges are more severe because he committed the crime on church property. His bail was set at $50,000. The Catholic Diocese of Peoria has suspended him.

I wonder what Rev. Chris' confessionals were like? "Forgive me father for I have sinned.....and can I get half a gram?" Rev. Chris would respond, "Say twenty Hail Marys and

And do you think Rev. Chris blessed the coke? That's a selling point!

Posted by: Michael K

•

Dumb Bitch of the Day

Submitted by missy on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:15pm.

short scrotums? 'splain please? is that the ball sack?
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:15pm.

Yes shave the balls
trim the bush
no afros in yer pants boys.

please and thanks
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:13pm.

Hey since I've got such a female-heavy audience, I've been trying to tell my buddy that chicks dig shorn scrotums.

Thoughts?

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:11pm.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:08pm.

nuh uh, not my tax dolla, I live in Canad'i'a.

still fun times! my cousin tried igniting a fart when he was 13 and eh had to say goodbye to the hairy sign of puberty for not having clothes on.

and burnt hair smells worse than hubby's hind emissions. And no I didn't think it was possible to top that!

**************************************************

"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:11pm.

@Fatmartha..heroic epicness.. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read.. You should have just typed those 2 words on a piece of paper, licked it, tit kissed it, and handed it to professor dickhole tongue. he would have loved it!

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:08pm.

Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 3:03pm.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:00pm.

I hope you had the right clothes on, or you could have fried your colon!
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HA! Our flight deck clothes had to be flame retardant! Still gave a warm feeling, like when you slide down the rope in gym class.

Your tax dollars, hard at work! LOL

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by FatMartha on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:06pm.

@Okie: Yes I got it done. It was the most half-assed paper ever, to the point that it was more like quarter-assed. No I didn't fart on it but I SHOULD HAVE! Fuck Beowulf and his damn heroic epicness...

@angel_i: Indeed! U of I is only about an hour from my school and I went to this thing about Catholics and I'm -pretty- sure he was there. It might have been someone else but I'm 95% sure it was this guy. But whoever it was, they freaked me out.
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:03pm.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:00pm.

I hope you had the right clothes on, or you could have fried your colon!

KD - WORD!

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:03pm.

@FatMartha:

And now you know why...the Lord works in mysterious ways...

♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:03pm.

FatMartha!!! did you get your paper done?? Did you fart on it before you turned it in?? I must know these questions.. Tell meeee! *does pee pee dance*

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by KD on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:01pm.

Here's a tip, if you want some really stinky nasty farts, eat a protein bar. Man, those things make me kill all the lifeforms in my house!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 3:00pm.

if we got bored out at sea, we'd shut the light off in the shop and do light shows with our farts. Always best on chili dog night!

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by FatMartha on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:59pm.

OMG I HAVE MET THIS GUY.

Seriously!!!

He creeped me out.

P.S. *bloop tinkle fart snort*

YOU'RE WELCOME.
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:59pm.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 12:56pm.

Nah I don't fart as much as she claims to fart BUT I'M PROUD OF MY FARTS.

They're like LoLo's BF, odorless and SOUNDILICIOUS!

And we're talking about farts and LCT is not here...and I have a present for her. BOO HOO HOO

And Jessica Simpson can't sing. I can! Have for 19 years now -humph.

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:56pm.

Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 2:52pm.
I have been cursed (or blessed?) with odorless farts.
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Great, another Jessica Simpson. LOL

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by paris herpes on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:54pm.

There's a law against having drugs within a 1,000 feet of a church? Whatever happened to separation of church and state?! Hahaha, they searched his rectory but not his rectum, huh? He does not look 33 at all...WTF?!

Your face!

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:53pm.

BF has gas issues. They dont smell as muh as they knock paintings and stuff off the walls.

Sonic Bootie Boom!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:52pm.

Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 12:50pm.

Jeff...in my house we play fart contests.

Smell and sound are a must.

Hubby wins the smell round, always.

I have been cursed (or blessed?) with odorless farts.

**************************************************

"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:52pm.

Jeffro, MY GD hubby farts by or on me, I liver punch him for keeps, thats for sure! *clinches fist*

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:51pm.

No, the blue one scent is MARINE.

The green is pine forest.

And mine is pink *floral*

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:50pm.

Boy, you ladies are very forgiving!

The wife gets PISSED when I give her the dutch oven!

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:48pm.

Boobies! You have a china vagina? Oh, feels so soft, and looks shiny like a toilet bowl. Do you stick one of those blue cleaners on the side, I bet it smells nice, Like a pine forest! *pokes at it*

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:47pm.

Submitted by oklahoma on September 12, 2008 - 12:44pm.

yes but I have a china that came from factory, I didn't pay for it

so yeah I'm a gurl

22 and tender BUT WITH A FUCKING GRAY HAIR, IM IN DESPAIR

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:44pm.

boobies, oh Duh, Even tho I guess you have said hubby, I still tend to think you are male. *ponders*

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by de Cosmos on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:42pm.

On top of you
Is a holy man
Under you
Is a holy book
In your hole
Is a holy pole
So wiggle your arse
And save your soul

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:42pm.

Mr Boobies (hubby) would probably flap asscheeks around it and catch it!

And then I would kick him in the nuts for flashing.

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:39pm.

*hangs Super Pill from nose hair* Watcha gonna do w/ this Mr. Boobies? huh??

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:35pm.

Amen Stoney.

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:33pm.

Now I'm grateful all my boyfriend does is stick his dirty feet in my face!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:32pm.

Stoney, Were those MY boobs that you squeezed? Cause if not, it X's that fart, right on out!

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:32pm.

Okie = the same happened to me.

LoLo = Glad I made you laugh!

Stoney = I'm gellis =( the only person that has lately farted in my face and then squeezed my boob was hubby. And I almost went blind. And then I told him THAT'S NOT A FUNNY JOKE you don't want a blind wife cause I love you ugly and all.

Stop talking about drugs and booze unless you gonna share!

='( *CRIES OUT LOUD*

True, Jeffro, too true.

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:28pm.

Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five
times,'I am so glad I do not
work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'
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How about the poor fucker that worked in the oral thermometer department and got demoted?

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:27pm.

Thanks okie! Here you go...!

*bends over, farts in okie's face, turns around and squeezes boob*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:26pm.

Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 2:55pm.

Oh MAH GWAD!

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:26pm.

@boobies.. OMG I had to wash my hands after reading that..I don't know why, but I feel duuurty, mmm, dirty.. I'm dirty!

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:25pm.

Mmmmmm yummy thanks Okie kie ie i e e e (echo times)

Jeffro Tull? I dunno just yet!
The world is my oyster and shit like that!

Happy hour after work. Meet up with some friends.
Pig out maybe? Smokey times!

Im looking at a list of shows going on tonight. Maybe Ill go bowling?

God help me!
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:25pm.

LoLo, this is for you, from the bottom of my heart.

And for everyone else that may apply

*
*
*
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and
go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made
by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home,
lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your
favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully
place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it
carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson
& Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized . '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five
times,'I am so glad I do not
work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:24pm.

Stoney,, *nudges you w/ percocet* Now you give me something..

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:23pm.

Get that shit away from me unless you want barf times. I'm allergic to codeine!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:22pm.

*passes Lolo a hydorcodon* This will help time not even matter, matter, matter *echoes*

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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:22pm.

'sup for the weekend, LoLo?

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:20pm.

Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 2:49pm

Im jumpong out of my skin im ready for the weekend SLUTS!!!!!

AMEN! Praise Jeebus!

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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:19pm.

Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 12:16pm.

if it makes you feel better, it's 12:43 here.
Still another 5 hours to go.

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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK

http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi

http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:16pm.

Haysus told him to do what made him feel beautiful. That and the 3 rails he did before mass.

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:16pm.

FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST IT IS NOT EVEN 3 MOTHER FUCKING O FUCKING CLOCK YET SHIT!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:14pm.

I know it's the least of this dude's problems but why is he wearing guyliner??

(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)

Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?

Submitted by Jeffro11 on Fri, 09/12/2008 - 2:12pm.

Submitted by shandi on September 12, 2008 - 2:09pm.
In the first picture, he looks like he actually has a chin, but then you turn him sideways .... weird.
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the little boys complained that his whiskers itched, so he visited Asslee Simpson's doc.

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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"