Faith Dealer By Day, Coke Dealer By Night
Holy cokey! Reverend Christopher Layden, a catholic priest, has been arrested and charged with selling coke from his church office and rectory. 33-year-old Chris was busted on Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center on the University of Illinois campus in Urbana. The cops were able to catch him thanks to a little help from an "informant." Jesus works in mysterious ways.
Cops confiscated three grams of coke during their search of his rectory. But did they search his rectum?
Fox News reports that Chris pleaded not guilty to "two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church." The charges are more severe because he committed the crime on church property. His bail was set at $50,000. The Catholic Diocese of Peoria has suspended him.
I wonder what Rev. Chris' confessionals were like? "Forgive me father for I have sinned.....and can I get half a gram?" Rev. Chris would respond, "Say twenty Hail Marys and
And do you think Rev. Chris blessed the coke? That's a selling point!
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Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 1:11pm.
too funny
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 10:41am.
lol..if it wasn't kinda NSFW I would send it to hubby
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
If they did that in London, I might return to church.
Aaaaah, Boo!
I think I love you, you little rebel you! I went parochial until 8 grade and being left-handed in the 50s and 60s was the BIG no-no-hole-for-nuns!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
is so funny that the persons who shove their religion in our faces are some of the most fuck up humans.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by iHeartHaters on September 12, 2008 - 10:19am.
Your avvie almost gave me a seizure. I FUCKING LOVE IT. FREE HIGHS EVERYONE!!!!!
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I was an extreme catholic UNTIL my mom put me in a catholic school *snark*
from the 6th grade to the last year of high school (in Argentina is 7 years of elementary and 5 of high school).
I was the punk shit stirrer and the lunatic all at the same time. And it was a private school, but I had a scholarship for being a nerd (not the studying kind, the smart kind) and I also think they loved me for being so fucking politically incorrect BECAUSE THEY NEVER EVEN ATTEMPTED EXPELLING ME!!! I would have meeting with the psychologists saying "We don't pretend you leave this room loving God" "well I don't pretend you to admit you two are lesbians, but that doesn't mean it ain't the truth!"
I got more than one theology professor fired, and every time we had a new one my mates would introduce me as the antichrist. (i was in a huge battle with god at the time, plus being a teenager didnt help)
fun times.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
off topic but funny as hell...
http://www.barstoolsports.com/randomthoughts/2008/09/12/worlds_worst_pla...
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
I am so glad organized religion has remained the arbiter of what is right and moral in this world.
Is this what lara meant when she said she was an orthodox catholic? Bwaaaaaaaah ha ha ha!
What ha ha ha!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
If I had his chinline, I'd do coke too, he's one ugly mothafucka.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
I suppose another upside is that churches never close...so if you've haven't been able to score by last call, you still don't have to go home empty handed.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
LMFAO@all the comments! Everyone's on FAHR today LOL
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Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Submitted by Shady.Carli on September 12, 2008 - 12:32pm.
I don't want to judge all churches and religions b/c one dumbass made a huge mistake.
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Only one? Spanish Inquisition, anyone?
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
wow, they're really are trying to make going to church interesting!
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Carli: Are you worried about Ike? Or are you too far inland?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
religious fanatics are craziest batshits of all, did you hear that, SARAH failin PALIN?
mrs holy-ier than thou EYE-talian lipshitz who can't keep her own daughter's twat shut?!
speakit, and boobyberry - thanks!
I knew ol J-dog wouldnt dissapoint :p
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I don't want to judge all churches and religions b/c one dumbass made a huge mistake.
missy
"iheart - yes EFF religion. Jesus would say the same thing."
Jesus SAID the same thing.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Nice, for the price of 3 hail mary's and letting the priest suck you off, you get a dime bag, an 8-ball, and a pull off his bottle of MD2020.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Now when was the last time you heard somebody from the church of Satan do something like this or worse? See Satan ain't as bad as people make him out to be.
If someone with a drug problem turned to this priest for help, would he help them or try to make a sale?
Submitted by iHeartHaters on September 12, 2008 - 12:24pm.
I guess the communion wine wasn't doing the job anymore :P
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Not since the Padre stopped getting the good wine in favor of Boone's Farm...coke is expensive! LOL
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 12:26pm.
iheart - yes EFF religion. Jesus would say the same thing.
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He did. Additional teachings of Jesus were found that were not included in the Bible. He stated, among other things, that 'church is within the heart'. The church didn't like that so they excluded it.
Yeah, but does he sell weed?
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
That is just wrong. No wonder people are so cynical about religion.
Religion, bad.
Spirituality, good.
ONLY three grams? Some dealer. Needed to step up the pace.....
yeah the catholics booted my family when my parents got divorced
iheart - yes EFF religion. Jesus would say the same thing.
(I hope I didnt just summon the religious loons thatve been lurking lately! eek those people scurr meh!)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Wutt?! Oh my Gosh
I fear for our future
things arent getting any better
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 10:24am.
well how else was he supposed to get little boys to take their pants off?
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I guess the communion wine wasn't doing the job anymore :P
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Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
That's a crock of shit okie...and all too common. Also I'm so sick of churches telling people they're gonna burn in hell unless they join THEIR specific church and tithe their 10%. Eff all religion.
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Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
well how else was he supposed to get little boys to take their pants off?
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
pray, peddle, confess. get bread, get wine. prey, peddle, confess. yup, a regular ezy one stop.
You know. I joined a church once, to get baptised. And went to classes to learn, Then they kicked me out, Said they wouldn't baptise me. I guess I didn't have enough of money.. I never went to church again.
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
hahaha okie - eeeew! the hairy neck!! I hate when dudes dont shave that!!
cokey warewolf religion goon!! AAGGHH!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Not surprising.
I went to catholic school until 8th grade, and the dean, who by the way was a priest, was a fucking drunk. That dude was ALWAYS drunk and chain smoked. Everytime he walked past he'd reak of booze. He was a creep too.
At the same school I had this friend whose mother was a devout catholic. I'm talking like super duper jesus freak. Turn out bitch was addicted to coke, no wonder she was so fucking hyper prasing jesus and shit. Not to mention she poisoned her neighbor's dog cuz she hated animals.
What's that tell ya...
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Sugar Magnolia
what difference does it make that it was 1,000 feet from a church. WTF?! that's just nutty. if it were close to a school maybe but...
No way missy, you're not corrupt enough for that organization! LOL
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Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
And God said upon thee, to shave Thine neck or go to jail! you thought i was going to say hell.. bad!
I mean, look at that hairy neck!!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Cocain is a helluva drug...and it will send you straight to hell too,lol!
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Switch the coke for the flour they use to make communion wafers and I may be able to stay awake through mass.
shit, maybe I should consider rejoining tha catholics!
ha!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
LOL@the Catholic Diocese of Peoria. They have enough drama as it is! Now this fucked up shit. Ah, I love my state:)
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Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on September 12, 2008 - 12:16pm.
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LMFAO!!!!!!
I went to Catholic school and never knew why none of the boys wanted to be altar boys!
Are there any priests that aren't corrupt? They're either molesting little boys, impregnating their secretaries or dealers.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
whoaho. the catholic church is becoming a one stop vice shop.
HAHA, yeah, W/ every gram, you get a bottle of Holy Water. Now thee get the fuck out of my sight!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Is anybody else a bit weirded out by the term "rectory" especially when referring to the Catholic church?
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Sick.
You've never had coke until you've had it blessed.
Amen.
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I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.