The Rah-Rah Mommy
33-year-old Wendy Brown of Green Bay, Wisconsin never graduated high school, so she somehow got the harebrained idea that she would get back the memories she never had by enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter. This is what happens when a crazy bitch falls asleep while watching "Never Been Kissed." Josie Grossy is to blame.
Josie...I mean...Wendy used her daughter's ID to enroll in school and join the cheerleading squad. Before school started, Wendy showed up to cheerleading practices, bought a uniform, got her own locker and even went to a party at the coach's house. Give me a F-A-K-E-O-L-D-C-R-A-Z-Y-B-I-T-C-H! What's that spell?
A high school employee said that Wendy was a little shy and cried when talking about having to move from her school in Nevada. The employee said Wendy looked a little older than your average student, but she acted like a regular 15-year-old.
School officials started to get a little suspicious when Wendy stopped showing up to classes after the first day of school. The principal found out that Wendy's daughter was registered at a school in Nevada. When the principal called Wendy's mother, she said she has custody of the 15-year-old girl. Wendy's mom also said she has a history of stealing other bitch's identies.
Wendy's high school dreams were crushed when she was arrested for felony identity theft. Also, the check for $134.50 that Wendy used to buy her cheerloading (typo, but it says) uniform bounced.
Her bond was set at $8,000. She faces a $10,000 fine and six years in the chokey if convicted.
I don't blame Wendy for wanting to go back in time. Sometimes I wish I was back in grade school where life was easy. The most stressful thing was trying to dig for clay in the sandbox. Every other kid seemed to find clay except me. Sad.
And all those bitches who came in contact with Wendy need to go and get their eyeballs worked on. What in Andrea Zuckerman hell were these people looking at? In what world does a 15-year-old look like a middle-aged night shift clerk at Kum & Go?!
Source
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I always found peoples fascination with high school odd. Its only 4 years of your life, all the reunions and shit its like give me a fuckin break we were 14-17 years old. Life keeps going.
'Everybody wears the mask but how long will it last?'- The Fugees.
I thought I was the only one who had fond memories of digging for clay in the sandbox. I did find clay but that didn't satisfy me--my attempt at digging a hole to China was thwarted by the realization that 5th graders look dumb digging in a sandbox.
Damn, from reading your comments, some of you ladies had pretty crappy high schools. The other end of the spectrum is not any better, though.
For Example:
My HS was fiercely competitive. In my graduating class of two hundred, there were 9 valedictorians. ALL tied with the 4.0 GPA. GPAs were all so close, that they had to rank people according to three decimal points. Ex: My GPA was 3.985, and I was only salutatorian. The shitty part was that they actually assigned numbers to those valedictorians, 1-9 alphabetically, so that they could rank them numerically. So, on all my college applications, I was ranked #10 in my class instead of #2. Absolute BULLSHIT! Not that #10 is not good, but there's a big difference between being tenth in the class, and being salutatorian. There was such an uproar among parents because of that ranking crap.
Anyway, just needed to rant. Sorry for the novel.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Bitch looks like Chastity Bono!
two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by letinstar on September 13, 2008 - 10:14pm.
15 year olds look this old and haggard and no one caught on right away?
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I went back to college full time. I am telling you, those 18-19 yr girls look BEATDOWN, I thought half my class was in their 40's, no kidding.
My history professor said in class that not only has the English language become atrophied (students using R U instead of Are or You etc) but so have the younger generations looks. DOH
My history professor for Hot Slut!
That dumb ho looks 40! Who thought that she looked 15 is dumber than my daddy.
I feel sorry for her daughter.
@angle_i...and i wonder what they mean by her acting like a regular 15 year old...was she catfighting over some boy in her class or extra loud in mall? but yeah, she does look sad...thats the look you give when you get busted...;)
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
Submitted by letinstar on September 13, 2008 - 10:39pm.
@angel_i...atleast ali lohan wears a bra to uplift her 40 year old boobs...this hag looks beat to hell...
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She's so sad looking. Maybe they knew - but they felt sorry for her. And then they got pissed cuz she bounced that cheque;p
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
@angel_i...atleast ali lohan wears a bra to uplift her 40 year old boobs...this hag looks beat to hell...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
I still think she looks like Gary Busey.
I can't believe there's really a store called Kum & Go.
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by letinstar on September 13, 2008 - 10:14pm.
15 year olds look this old and haggard and no one caught on right away?
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They were, like: Dayum, girlie's got the "Ali Lohan" pretty bad, huh?
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Flatsy> I hate tuna, too. I'm a vegetarian, but even if I wasn't...EW. Fish in a can? Yum yum
re: the bf. I wish. 4-1/2 years, though. I miss him.
I can't get over the dead-eyed stare on this broad. I'm gonna have nightmares.
Maybe she can be on the prison wrestling team...she looks like she's got a headstart on the steroid use...
Wouldn't a 15 year old and a 33 year old have differently pitched voices?
15 year olds look this old and haggard and no one caught on right away?
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on September 13, 2008 - 10:33pm.
I despise tuna.
I can't bring any food or drink item into a bathroom. I have a fear of floaties.
Did you keep the bf?
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She's flat and that's that!
Ok, my nutter roommate used to make tuna noodle casserole in a crockpot in the bathroom and then leave it and the fish-smelling can opener there over the weekend, but at least we had water! Yikes!
Yeah, I lived on campus and then moved in a w. a roommate (who turned into a bf) offcampus. And never, ever ate tuna noodle casserole ever again.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on September 13, 2008 - 10:12pm
College sucked a little at first. There was a housing shortage and I had no roommate.
Then there was a water shortage. We had to evacuate campus cause there was no water. So, I was like get me out of here.
Ended up taking a year off, went somewhere else and commuted.
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She's flat and that's that!
Flatsy> That was my college experience, too. I lived on campus for exactly one semester. My roommate was a nutter so I obvs didn't keep in contact w. her.
I had NO wish to hang out on campus when I didn't have classes.
Aquarius> Dude! Did you go to my highschool!? I swear to god, they all married people w.in the school and have been living in that podunk town for the past 15 years, popping out kids. And that is the only reason I would go to a reunion. Because I'm evil like that.
Damn I hated high school. This bitch is crazy.
Any bets on long before it's revealed that she's pregnant with some poor unsuspecting teenagers baby?
High school was so boring and I felt so limited in terms of friends (I was part of the "smart" crowd, but the entire school was only 120 students and our class was barely 30 students). I have no idea why this freak wanted to go back, unless it was like that Buffy episode where the mom and daughter switch souls and the mom in the daughter's body wants to be part of the cheerleading squad by any means necessary (she's a witch and puts curses on all the cheerleaders). Besides SWC, this might be another show that's done it before I guess.
Your face!
that's what too much good cheese does to you
Submitted by Mr. President on September 13, 2008 - 7:30pm.
She must have been too busy playing the skin flute
to think about finishing HS.
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Submitted by Snarkley on September 13, 2008 - 6:07pm.
A fifteen-year-old with no eyebrows should have been their first clue.
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Meh, ho was just tryna get her some under-aged dick. She don't have no degree so she couldn't be a teacher...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
A fifteen-year-old with no eyebrows should have been their first clue.
Submitted by Manimal5 on September 13, 2008 - 6:58pm.
Mom is 33, daughter is 15, doing the math...
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Manimal: Judging by the looks of that pic, I think she misheard you and thought you said 'do the meth..."
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mom is 33, daughter is 15, doing the math...mom was 18 when she had her daughter...knocked up at probably 17. I kinda feel bad for her, but to try to go back in time, not such a great idea.
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----She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?-☆☆☆☆---------
"There was only one person who made my high school years miserable, and karma gave him a pretty hefty bitch-slap after we parted ways."
oooh, do tell.
Submitted by JCB on September 13, 2008 - 1:35pm.
Two words: JERRI BLANK.
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Hahaha! That was my first thought after reading this story too. Only, Jerri is much hotter than this bitch.
"Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, prefunctory gift that nobody ever asks for..."
Actually, she looks like a typical Methconsin 15yo to me.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
She looks like serial killer Eileen Wurnous(sp?). The one Charlize Theron got an academy award for playing.
"Submitted by speakit on September 13, 2008 - 2:39pm.
I liked high school. I went to an all girl parochial school. I didn't have any bad experiences.
There weren't 'geeks'. It was an academically competitive school, which is what education should be, not a social event.
I did go to a public school for one semester while my parents were divorcing. I SAW THE DIFFERENCE. When I went back to my school, it took months and a great deal of studying to catch up."
That's interesting, speakit - my daughter attends parochial schoool. I get into arguments all the time with my husband about what to do about high school in a few years........I want to send my daughter to an all-girl Catholic school.....he complains about tuition, but that's not the thing we should focus on in deciding these things......
"Sometimes evil drives a minivan."
If this chick made the cheerleading team I'd hate to see what the ugly girls at that school look like.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
They definitely need their eyes checked! Not only does she not look 15, she looks like a dude.
Holy Shit! She probably did a bit a "knee work" to get enough votes to get her over the top. What a bitch will do for a pair of pom-poms.
Submitted by angel_i on September 13, 2008 - 4:42pm.
Ha. She done stole that idea from Law and Order. Haha!
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Oh goodness I remember that episode.
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on September 13, 2008 - 4:37pm.
Lifetime? This is the premise of Strangers With Candy. Look it up.
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I will do that.
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
The Cookie
http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com
Blame cheerleading -- it effs everything up ;)
http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/lone-star-hate/
There are a lot of specialized high schools in the NYC area, and I think idiotsdrivemeloco is right -- that's the way to go. Public school is too much about teaching to the lowest common denominator, which is not fair to the 95% of kids who are ready to learn at a higher level.
Also, at my high school, it was like the administrators were so eager to get the graduation rate up that they would completely fucking pander to the slackers and losers while keeping the 'good kids' on an extremely tight leash. My younger sister is a senior this year and I can't believe how many more idiotic rules they've promulgated since I got out of there -- that place has turned into a complete prison. I would venture to say that many other high schools are in the same situation -- the administrators are under so much pressure to increase the graduation rate, standardized test scores, etc. that they fail to challenge the kids who they know will graduate/pass the test and the teachers end up only paying attention to the nonperformers. So there's no incentive to do well (other than getting the F out of there) and you have to spend the first half of college taking remedial classes to make up for all the stuff you were supposed to learn in HS.
Submitted by angel_i on September 13, 2008 - 3:42pm.
Ha. She done stole that idea from Law and Order. Haha!
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Crap! I remember that episode. And I loved it. The actress who played the psycho pretending to be 16 in that episode should have got an Emmy, because she was scary.
The only context in which I want to go back to high school is my 10-year reunion (coming in 4 years) where I can be one of the stereotypical "hahaha, you've all squandered your lives in this hellhole while I'm living faaaar away" types. I would NEVER actually live through the experience again. College either.
It's sad to think about it, out of our graduating class of 200ish, I will probably be in the 10% that doesn't have kids, is gainfully employed making more than minimum wage, and has actually made it out of the state more than once in the last year. I guess the bar wasn't set very high at this bitch's school either! Ah, the Midwest is fun.
Ha. She done stole that idea from Law and Order. Haha!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Lifetime? This is the premise of Strangers With Candy. Look it up.
This story has all of the makings for a Lifetime movie.
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
Submitted by joe shmoe on September 13, 2008 - 2:34pm.
I'm just happy she didn't get her greasy paws on some 15 year old boy. uggg.
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What makes you think she didn't? They made her a fucking cheerleader. She definitely got some underage peen, trust.
I'm getting ready to attend my 20-year high school reunion next month, and I guess my class is somewhat unusual, because out of a class is just over 60, about half of us attended school together from kindergarten through senior year. That core group of people is pretty much who shows up to the reunions.
I couldn't be awed by the popular people because I'd known them all since they were 5 or 6. There may have been cliques, but they kind of went under my radar. I had my group of band-geek friends, and we were pretty happy. There was only one person who made my high school years miserable, and karma gave him a pretty hefty bitch-slap after we parted ways.
But go back to high school? That's not a healthy desire, not at all.
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One step closer to things we need to say
One cut deeper to tear the past away
--Alan Parsons
The Rascal scooter should've been a dead giveaway.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
yeah I wanna go back and get suspended again for smoking in the girls baffroom. :)no tanx!
;) :) :O =) :P :( :\ :D
Two words: JERRI BLANK.
I'm just happy she didn't get her greasy paws on some 15 year old boy. uggg.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSyOCx6ZXfM&feature=related
Such a great story! Gave me a nice grin on this shitty Saturday! :D