Skeletor Had A Birthday Party
Yesterday, JLo finished the Malibu Triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes, then got on a plane, hooked up Skeletor to an IV and headed for NYC. JLo threw her husband a 40th birthday party at the Bowery Hotel. Yes, 40. Four. Zero. I mean, they say 40 and we say 340. Mutant vampires zombies live a long time.
Guests included that hag Leah Remini, Dita Von Teese, Kimora, Dijmon Honsou, Brooke Shields, Allegra and Donatella Versace. Donatella and Skeletor feed from the same blood bank, so they're really close friends.
Heidi Klum was reportedly invited to the party, but refused to show up after JLo pulled out from judging "Project Runway." As you know, JLo's rep said she injured her fugly foot and wanted to stay off of it so that she could compete in the triathlon.
A source told MSNBC's The Scoop that JLo is lie-telling about the foot shit. They said that JLo was in talks to star in a film for The Weinstein Company, who also produce PR. When JLo found out she didn't get the role, she got upset and pulled out as a judge. Who cares why she pulled out! We should be grateful that we have been spared! I'd take Tim Gunn over JLo any day. Fuck, I'd take a caca sandwich over JLo.
Here's some pictures from Skeletor's birthday party last night. And just for shits, I've also added some pictures of JLo getting hit by a wave during the triathlon. Her trainer had to pull her drowning ass out of the water. HAHAHAHAHA!
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CTFU @ Mutant Vampire Zombies!
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Sit yo ass down!
This year's Project Runway has me wanting to kill Kenly two weeks ago and "Suede thinks this and that" is just cartoonish. It's hard to tolerate the personalities even more than ever. That guy Joe that finally got voted off had the most fixed, fake, cheesy grin I've ever seen. I can't believe how pretentious some of these people are. There's confidence and then there's just silly arrogance.
I am very glad J-ho didn't show up. They'd have to do an entire show on how to design mathmatically or proportionally with her ass. Why would she even have an acceptable comment on normal fitting clothes. Every movie, event, etc. she has her fat ass custom fit, for real. She is not off of anybody's rack unless there's bucks involved.
Leah, those friggin brown school shoes dont go with a purple formal.DUH
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Skeletor looks 80. Jlo's hair is lookin shitty lately. Makeup bad too..she needs new people. Im pretty sure Harvey Weinstein was at that party b/c the marchesa chic was there and thats his wife. So i dont think that think about not getting a miramax pix is true...I just think she thought better than to do that dumb show and that the Klum didnt want to go to a dlist birthday..I mean skeletor,. that was a favor to Jho to show for that.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
OMG Allegra Versace is so sick. That girl is 4/4 dead! look at the pic with her mom its sick.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Judging by the look on Skeletor's face, he's so ready to cheat on her ass. He's due.
Submitted by James Haven on September 15, 2008 - 9:37pm.
I ♥ James Haven
Ya know if JLo stopped trying to dress like her family recently got off the Mayflower she might actually look hot.
She always looks like the spoilt rich wife of a drug dealer trying to fit into society. Although Skeletor doesn't really look like a dealer. He looks more the like her unreliable loser brother who will never inherit the drug empire because he snorts too much of his own product.
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Wyle E Coyote
*SuperGenius*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 15, 2008 - 11:26pm.
SmOOches PSL!
It's just another day in the life of James Haven! Some people may think it is glamorous hobsnobbing with the Hollywood elite. To James Haven it's another night at the museum. Literally. These people are so filled with Botox they are walking wax!
and on that note James Haven must bid you a fine adieu!
Angie will be awake shortly and doesn't like to find herself alone. Poor thing has not been her usual vapid self. Ever since Brad has been acting like a teenaged fool, things around here have been difficult. James Haven has to be open all night like 7Eleven!
FYI it was James Haven that tried to get Jennifer Aniston and Brad together for dinner! Maybe if they get back together Brad will once and for all, be out of James Haven's hair!
Sleep well!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James Haven, that story was fantastic- you outdid yourself!
hahahaha
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Nothing to figure out, I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a shit about me
-Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
Submitted by No Words on September 15, 2008 - 10:30pm.
James Haven, I really do love you...your stories are the best. (-:
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Hello NW! SmOOches!
Long time no see *)*
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by z-listed on September 15, 2008 - 10:28pm.
Why thank you, z. James Haven likes you keep you bitches in the loop of things.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on September 15, 2008 - 7:37pm
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James Haven, I really do love you...your stories are the best. (-:
Ahhh, the Versace women, looking as beautiful and glamorous as ever!
Kudos to James Haven for the engrossing encapsulation of the evening's events!
Submitted by Mr. President on September 15, 2008 - 10:09pm.
Hello Mr. Prez. Chuck really knows how to bend! The guy is a joy to watch. Except the time that he started the class after he had lunch. One should stand still after eating chilli. Nasty!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Chuck Norris teaching pilates. HAHAHA. Love you, James Haven. Though not in quite THAT way.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
James Haven was at Skeletor's birthday party. Jenny and James Haven are good friends. We met at a pilate's class Chuck Norris was doing a few years back.
James Haven has been busy helping Angie, because as you know, Brad has been acting like an assjack (that's jackass spelled backwards). Brad has been hanging with that self absorbed Clooney and Angie is at her wits end! James Haven couldn't take one more night of hearing Angie complain so he jumped at the chance to go to a party. Even if it was Skeletor's.
First, what to buy him? What do you get a skeleton that has everything? James Haven had a few ideas but settled on six months of MaryKay makeovers (we all know he could use it). With that scaly skin of his, he should be happy!
Anyhoo, the guest of horror wasn't too thrilled to be there. It was all of JLo's most fiendish of friends. Donatella was looking ghastly as ever. She is always following James Haven around. Telling him how nice it must be to have such "kissable lips". Ugh. James Haven knew she was hinting at a smooch but he would much rather kiss Roseanne's ass then Donatella's lips. She looks like a big ole fish!
Brooke Shields was there. Looking manly as ever and complaining about how hard it is to take care of two kids. James Haven wanted to bitch slap her with Skeletor's scaly paw! The nerve! 2 kids? James Haven takes care of six kids plus an overgrown baby who has thrown herself in bed cause her plug wearin' man is running around town. Stick that in your Birkenstock Brooke!
James Haven told Brooke to stick a sock in it and stop whining. He told her all that brow furrowing has given her deep lines in the face! She got up from the table and stalked off. Just as well. She didn't touch her Chocolate Pecan pie and James Haven had been eyeing it, so that was a score.
Later in the evening, JLo decided to serenade Skeletor. She started singing some Diana Ross. That woman could kill a Milli Vanilli song! She sang "Do you Know" when it got to the part: "do you know where your going to"..James Haven knew exactly where he was going: To the parking lot! To get the hell out of there!
Between Brooke's nagging, JLo's singing and Leah Remini breast feeding her husband, James Haven had enough and hopped on the next flight to France.
Angie cheered up a bit when James Haven told her JLo has some nasty cellulite on her ass. How did James Haven know this you ask? You bitches are just going to have to wonder!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Cute couple. They appear to be happy. But I saw his personal ID on wealthy men personals site""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""" yesterday. What is he looking for on that site? Looking for sugarbabe?☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Skelly looks like he has alittle gas, either that, or JLo is squeezing the hell out of his hand.
Submitted by LoLo on September 15, 2008 - 2:22pm.
Most people are total fucking asstards who are easily amused. Did I guess the answer right?
Just like you, right??
Getting PULLED through the water is NOT swimming.
All that is missing in that pic is J.Lo's water wings.
B*S* she trained 4 months.
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
Wow, she's a woman!! Swimming, biking, running, flying and partying. Good for her!
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Her dress looks beautiful.
on brooke sheilds:
you go girl! your intelegent, classy, and a good actress. take notes j-whore! and i had a hudge crush on giannai versace; gay or not, i wanted his ass!
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
Damn I decided to check out and see how Allegra was looking and now I so deeply regret it. I'm going to make myself a nice egg sandwich dripping with grease now! Take that you anorexic excuse for a human being! (Sorry I know I'm mean, but she looks FRIGHTENING, girlfriend needs to go to a clinic for eating disorders STAT!)
Your face!
Yikes, Allegra must be down to about 40 pounds now.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
looking very meaty in white
Poor Marc he looks so unhappy. He's a night owl so he probably had to get up early after sleeping nothing and then take care of her all day on his birthday. Call me Marc and come over for a real plate of arroz con gandules y chuletas. I know that girl can't cook. She doesn't look the type.
ha ha ha ha ha ha she got turned down for another picture ha ha ha ha ha why am i not surprised?! what do you expect j-low you can't act worth garbage of course you're going to be turned down for roles.
and the dress is beautiful but not on you sweety. on you it looks like a gaudy cheap thing that can be baught at a flea market for 20 bucks! ha ha ha ha *pointing my pointer finger* ha ha ha ha
and i should have known that that $127,000 dollars didn't come out of your pocket. stupid of me to think that it did. ha ha ha ha cheap bitch!
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
That's funny. You know she hated that. She wants everyone to believe that even the waves bow down to her. Why does Marc look so miserable. He was probably tired of being her help all day. Even on his 40th birthday he couldn't enjoy himself. She was probably talking about herself all night. I mean look at that dress she wore for HIS 40th. Can you imagine her 40th? Pppssh. Girl Please! Oh and it's typical to see that Kimora is her friend since she's such a fur whore as well.
Stupid wave can't even do it's job right and drown that ASS! (J. Lo = her ass)
Your face!
40, my ass!
That troll was the gargoyle perched on McCain's mantel eons ago.
And Cleopatra she ain't!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
LOL the stripper myth , people who go to strip club should put that on their income tax has charitable donation
Dita won a award in a film festival for the movie The Death of Salvador Dali
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
I knew something was fishy with her pulling out on PR. She's got to be the biggest publicity whore in all of Hollywood. She would never pass on that without reason. It's so sad you'd think she could just give money to "help the children". No she has to make a spectacle of herself, which I'm used to but now she's using social issues to do it. But what am I saying this is the same woman who after going on and on about how much she wanted her privacy, puts her new born infants on the cover of a magazine for $6 million. And P.S. she is looking rough. Everyone's dissing Marc (not that he doesn't deserve it) but she ain't no oil painting either. YIKES!!!
"When JLo found out she didn't get the role, she got upset and pulled out as a judge."
you would think jlo should be used to people "pulling out" on her by now...
kimora's not looking hot at all...and you just know she screamed and hollered while her minions sewed her into that dress...and it looks like djimon is standing on her trail...lol...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
The strippers I know are all studying to be doctors and lawyers and chemists and naughty police men!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Because she loves fashion and she dress like a lady not like other stripper who you can tell they are a stripper when they are at parent-teacher meetings she is also a model.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
_Submitted by Socrates on September 15, 2008 - 2:49pm.
If Dita is "just a stripper", then how come her show's price tag is $20,000? And how come she is on covers of fashion magazines? And how on earth did she end up on the front row of fashion shows?
Most people are total fucking asstards who are easily amused. Did I guess the answer right?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
If Dita is "just a stripper", then how come her show's price tag is $20,000? And how come she is on covers of fashion magazines? And how on earth did she end up on the front row of fashion shows?
crying laughing at "off with her ass" comments.
Marie Aquanett?
or maybe Marie Atwattyoubet should be her new name
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
J-Lo thinks she's royalty. Bwahahhahahahah
Where was Jaws when you needed him? Take a chunk outta that ass and drag her into the deep end of the sea. Hate this skank
That must've been some party! A boring one at best
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Sugar Magnolia
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on September 15, 2008 - 12:54pm.
I don't think they ever made a guillotine that big!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by justjane on September 16, 2008 - 2:40am.
She's the Marie Antoinette of the times.
Oh, if only she'd meet the same fate.
Off with her ass!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yFZQaUlcgA
Classic MST3K.
Allegra does not look like she is doing well in battling her anorexia. Is it really good for her to be in the spotlight right now? Poor kid.
I see Benny Medina is back managing jlo.
Submitted by angel_i on September 15, 2008 - 12:35pm.
Submitted by LoLo on September 15, 2008 - 12:26pm.
Yup, these Hollywood whores get to party it up on your fan dime as the world around them is falling into the shitter at a faster flush then ever.
Fuck all these stupid cunts!
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I am SO with you on that today.
They totally make a mockery of the human condition and it why everything remains to be fucked up even though we live in the land of plenty. It's ridiculous.
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NO SHIT. That's why 'celebrity' doesn't mean jack shit to me. I'll take an autograph from the retired lady that volunteers at a soup kitchen before any of these fukkers.
On some level, I actually kind of pity them. Hollow lives, that's all they have.
Now that I compare the arrival vs. departure pics, I notice JLo also has different hair and makeup. How much time does she spend away from her guests/the birthday boy to bitch out hair, wardrobe and makeup to meet her demands?
She's the Marie Antoinette of the times.
Submitted by MillyaBella on September 15, 2008 - 1:36pm.
SELF Magazine is the one who CUT the CHECK for the hospital, the money did NOT come from Lopez's own account.
"...with the help of SELF magazine, we were able to raise $127,000 for Childrens Hospital."
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And they raise the money from the middle class.
The most strugglin' class out there.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
@LOLO,
You Magnificent Ass!
I do not get Marilyn Manson either. He would gag a maggot.
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"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
--Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Thanks, Mrs. K!
SELF Magazine is the one who CUT the CHECK for the hospital, the money did NOT come from Lopez's own account.
"...with the help of SELF magazine, we were able to raise $127,000 for Childrens Hospital."
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”