Jessica Simpson Has The Number One Album.....
.....on the country music charts. I'm surprised it sold even 1 copy, let alone 65,000 copies. Jessica Simpson's album Do You Know (without the question mark) also debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard Top 100. Metallica's Death Magnetic was No. 1 with 490,000 copies.
Jessica's last album sold 101,000 copies in its first week. It ended up selling around 300,00 copies total. Her album before that sold 2.9 million copies.
Papa Joe must have gotten a shit load of air miles from his credit card after buying 50,000 copies of the big-tittied frog's record. Honestly. After being tortured by Jessica's cuntry croak all last week, who would spend their hard-earned dollars on that shit?
'll admit that I listened to the whole album for research purposes. YES. Research. I can't remember one song from that crap. I'd rather listen to see Shania Twain's Come on Over for the rest of my days than have to listen to Jessica's bore songs one more time.
Shut up! I know what you're thinking. That Don't Impress Me Much is a hot song and you know it.
ShareThis
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Now she has a reason to be happy!
What idiots bought her crap? the same idiots who buy her shoes?
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I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
-Jay Z
OH Yeah James... tell us about that, that's some nasty allegations. Is your sister really that disgusting?
James Haven
Funny papa joe's other ugly daughter had a shotgun wedding
Anyway, tell me about Brangelina's dirty mansion!
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Sugar Magnolia
Evening Crumb buns!
James Haven knows alittle secret that he wants to share with you crazy bitches. Papa Joe told James Haven, that Tony is going to pop the question to Jessica!
However, James Haven and Carrie Underwood are thisclose. Carrie asked James Haven to do a duet with her, but James Haven was unable because of prior MaryKay commitments. Carrie told James Haven, that Tony calls her all the time. Begging her to come back to him. He said even though he loves publicity he can't take one more date with Jessica and Papa Joe!
Seems Papa goes on every date and won't let Jess and Tony have any sexy times together. He said "My daughter will remain a virgin til her weddin' night!" WTF? wasn't she married before? Didn't she have affairs with everyone from Johnny Knoxville to Willy Nelson's hair braider?
Anyhoo, Carrie does not want this getting out. She is scared shitless of Papa Joe. She thinks P.J. (that's Papa Joe) has been sending her rotten eggs and Jello in the mail. Jello? go figure. Anything is possible from a man who sends out Christmas cards of himself dressed as Santa ,with no pants on and Jess and Ash as his naughty elves. Nasty!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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LMAO@LCT
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 17, 2008 - 9:21pm.
No LCT, I am still virgin and un-tainted. Mister Forum has not had the decency of sending me a confirmation so I cannot access the forums.
But from what i am getting I'm better off this way?
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YES. It's sort of like if you were to walk in on your Grandma and Grandpa 69-ing. Something you never thought possible is stuck in your head forever and will poison you to no end.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
So 65,000 is considered good? How is that number one? Who are the retards buying that shit?
why do I give a crap?
Good nite all!!! Want some wine?
I hate this bitchchchchhchc
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Sugar Magnolia
I'd much rather listen to Shania Twain's Come On Over than this shit. Wouldn't you agree, angel?
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Violet, if you're still around, I ADORE your avvie. It gave me a little frisson of happiness to see Frances!
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 17, 2008 - 9:21pm.
But from what i am getting I'm better off this way?
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It's a ghost town. **tumbleweed rolls by**
Submitted by Bella on September 17, 2008 - 4:17pm.
Submitted by TITS on September 17, 2008 - 6:26pm.
You´re very puzzled by that notion :) The main reason I´m considering Calgary is the surroundings, I´m studying biology and want to take masters in conservation/wildlife biology and therefore I think the proximity to the Rockies is a big plus. But I will be looking into other schools in Kanada as well.
And I´m from Iceland by the way.
888888888888888888
NICE!!! Iceland is on my top five place to visit.
How's the food?
UBC or Simon Fraser would be more fun.
Love your ravens. There's a man in iceland that posts pics of ravens and they are outstanding.
Submitted by TITS on September 17, 2008 - 9:40pm.
Submitted by angel_i on September 17, 2008 - 5:50pm.
I'd rather listen to see Shania Twain's Come on Over
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Ok, I've read this shit a hundred times already. WTF?
99999999999999
Kids these days eh? Too lazy to scroll.
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LOL! Thanks. That totally clears it up for me. Not!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by angel_i on September 17, 2008 - 5:50pm.
I'd rather listen to see Shania Twain's Come on Over
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Ok, I've read this shit a hundred times already. WTF?
99999999999999
Kids these days eh? Too lazy to scroll.
Oh, I see Chestica decided to demonstrate the one method/tool that finally managed to sell those albums.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
No LCT, I am still virgin and un-tainted. Mister Forum has not had the decency of sending me a confirmation so I cannot access the forums.
But from what i am getting I'm better off this way?
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
You bitches never fail to make my cranky self laugh like there's no tomorrow.
And MK, please don't leave us with this fucking skank. Post something else, ANYTHING else. Shit, I'll even settle for a Phoebe Price post.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by LoveBunny on September 17, 2008 - 9:24pm.
is it just me or does she look like shes getting a little chubby?
No just plain old fat, Chestica looks like the type that could gain massive amounts of weight overnight.
Shania Twain used to give me a little "chubby" though. LOL
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is it just me or does she look like shes getting a little chubby?
xx Bunny
Meh, she started out in that christian shit, which is like lower than dung, then ROSE TO POP STARDOM which is like lower than rotting dung in the LA sun, then she fell from "grace"...So, makin' us some redneck love with some possum eaters is mighty fine...and I approve...ONLY because I loathe country music, so it deserves this...not even this...It deserves Shitney for sure...This? Heidi Fleiss could turn it out...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 17, 2008 - 9:16pm.
honestly speaking I don't think she's a "bad" singer. but hey different strokes for different folks
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
I'd rather listen to see Shania Twain's Come on Over
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Ok, I've read this shit a hundred times already. WTF?
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
what a fucking toolbag whore. she's gonna work her way though every type of mediocore entertainment until she just dies. Hope it's soon.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by Chicaloca on September 17, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Lol c'mon y'all. Leave jess alone the girl is just country and dumb, she not hurting hurting anybody
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Ears are people too.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by speakit on September 17, 2008 - 8:23pm.
LMAO! Suddenly my image of Jessica morphed into Jessica as she would be on a South Park episode.
Lol c'mon y'all. Leave jess alone the girl is just country and dumb, she not hurting hurting anybody
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
All I can say is... of course Metallica was #1! As for country music, I will confess to liking this one song by Lady Antebellum -- Love Don't Live Here Anymore -- and some Rhonda Vincent. I'm trying to think of some others but am drawing a blank.
Edit: Oooh. I thought of some more. Some Mary Chapin Carpenter and a little Freddy Fender.
WOW I can see everything on here now! Including that stupid twat Jessica and her fat frogface!
Your face!
Country these days is absolute shit. I remember listening to it working in the garage with my dad and it was really good. Now it's infested with these no talent blonds that can't carry a tune to save their lives.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
How about if the forum had a motto...you know, like Vegas...?
What happens in the forum, stays in the forum...? Could that work...?
ONT:
Of course, she's number one. She's the greatest singer ever. There is no singer anywhere better than her.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
OMG. Did you know if you hold down the control key and hit the + sign, your screen gets bigger and bigger? I was having fun with it until I realized Frogmouf was life-sized.
Then I screamed and had to snort some crank!
Remember the episode of I Love Lucy where Fred played a frog in little Ricky's play? JESSICA!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 17, 2008 - 8:18pm.
*snicker*
"Wtf" in 3.........2.........1.........
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Clueless is she. Or it is POOless................WOOT!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 17, 2008 - 8:24pm.
Hug me.
I keep reading these posts and they are scawy. No wtf please, no.
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Don't tell me you went into the forum... I want to remember you un-tainted and virgin to the psychotic ramblings of the Forum Mental Patients.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 17, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Hug me.
I keep reading these posts and they are scawy. No wtf please, no.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
Submitted by Bella on September 17, 2008 - 8:17pm.
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LOL! I totally got a visual, especially with the stars around her head! Only I added the mental image of her biting her own tongue in half. Too much?
Submitted by Sugaroo on September 17, 2008 - 8:13pm.
Is tonight your AA meeting or is it one of the nights when you get drunk?
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*snicker*
"Wtf" in 3.........2.........1.........
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by speakit on September 17, 2008 - 8:02pm.
That´s a great advice! There are certainly plenty of fuckers out there I could enjoy clubbing... I could use Jessice here to practice on since she doesn´t seem to have much going on in that skull of hers anyway. I imagine her reaction to a knock to the head would be similar to what happens when a carton character gets hit on the head, she would probably just twirl around, laugh and fart while stars circled her head.
Submitted by M.E. on September 17, 2008 - 5:47pm.
Thanks on the confirmation.
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Is tonight your AA meeting or is it one of the nights when you get drunk?
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
65,000 copies is nothing considering that she is always on the press
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
I'll admit it Shania Twain's "Come On Over" is good and I like the Dixie Chicks and when I was 5 I used to listen to this one Reba McEntire album that was popular around that time, but that's it, I HATE country music.
In all fairness I only got into Shania and the Dixie Chicks because when I was in the 8th grade I spent all summer, every day for 2-3 months at Fiesta Texas and the best roller coasters were in the country western part of the park so when your waiting in line for a few hours you hear the country music they have on repeat when the show isn't showing. After a while you begin to like the music, it's like mind control.
Submitted by Green Is Good on September 17, 2008 - 7:57pm.
I know it's already been observed, but why in hell are there dozens of photos of this idiot bim with her tongue sticking out? She's got the mental capacity of of a 10 year-old.
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She does what Papa Joe says.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by Bella on September 17, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Submitted by speakit on September 17, 2008 - 7:19pm.
LOL, I´m gonna give it a shot... ;) But it is likely to be so infuriating and frustrating that I will probably be burnt out in ten years or so... Hopefully Dlisted will still be around to cheer me up if/when that happens... :)
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NOOO.. you're already bitter and you haven't even saved the whales!
look, whenever you get realllllly frustrated, club a human. The seals have been taking that shit for years.
This totally makes sense, as contemporary country is garbage.
I know it's already been observed, but why in hell are there dozens of photos of this idiot bim with her tongue sticking out? She's got the mental capacity of of a 10 year-old.
A grown up woman doing this isn't cute.
First of all, 65,000 is nothing in a week where no other country albums were released - there's a reason sick fuck dad Joe did this.
Also, the people buying this shit are her fans from her "pop" days, i.e,., mindless jr. high mindless little fucks.
Comparison:
Jessica Simpson album first week 65,000
Carrie Underwood album first week 800,000 copies
Her big song "Come on Over" didn't break the top ten.
She's eventually toast - again.
Submitted by fuckingclassy on September 17, 2008 - 7:03pm.
Why would anyone buy anything in the age of skype and limewire
oh and bit torrent
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Shhhh! We must never admit to it...
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Submitted by speakit on September 17, 2008 - 7:19pm.
LOL, I´m gonna give it a shot... ;) But it is likely to be so infuriating and frustrating that I will probably be burnt out in ten years or so... Hopefully Dlisted will still be around to cheer me up if/when that happens... :)
she must be trying to catch some flies
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 17, 2008 - 6:03pm.
Don't torture yourself, my beesh! Just relax here with us sluts. Here--I've got an extra mojito. *hands LCT mojito*
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Does it have mayo?
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Well I don't feel sorry for her! Maybe with this, she moves to a trailer park in Colorado with her redneck man and stays there forever... What a heffer.