Turn On The Lights!
Last night, I went to see Harry Potter's peen in its Broadway debut in that play about horseys and smoke. Seriously, there was a lot of smoke in that shit. I thought I was hot boxin' with Snoop Dogg. Anywang, let's just get to the important shit, shall we?
Harry's wand makes its appearance at the end of the second act, so you have to sit through a lot of acting stuff before then. The acting stuff (especially Richard Griffiths) is good and that's saying a lot coming from my grouchy ass. However, the director immediately needs to address the peen issue. This is my issue: I could barely see that shit! It was dark as hell during his peen's scene. I wanted to shout, "Somebody! Turn on the fucking lights! I can't see his dick!" His peen even looked like it was ready to give the performance of a lifetime! From what I did see, it was standing straight up, eager to entertain us. Put a spotlight on it! The peen obviously wants to show us what it can do. When the light would hit it, I would see it getting all excited, thinking the moment its been waiting for finally arrived. That moment never came and neither did he. Overall, the peen is short and not showcased enough. It was ready, willing and able, but it never got the chance.
And don't even ask me if I got pictures of that shit! I was told that if the ushers catch you taking pictures, they will shame you in front of everyone by taking your cell phone away. I don't want to be known as the bitch who got caught taking pictures of Harry's peen. It's bad enough that I'm devoting an entire post to Harry Potter's cock! Yes, I'm desperate.
Oh and let me just briefly talk about Richard Griffiths' magnificent belly. I was probably mesmerized by his belly of wonder than I was by Harry's junk. I want to sit on top of Richard's belly and eat a peach. It's fucking amazing.
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Oh hell. I love you, Michael. You and your world class reportage of current events and the arts. And Peen. Could you please go see Robokatie's show next?
xx
Real pics here:
http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-07-who-wants-to-see-daniel-radcliffe-nake...
ok so it wasnt great...next stop the scientologbot play. good reporting MK...cuz all dlisters really care about is the PEEN
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Ah, Michael K, my 15 year old son and I both love you and you make our days brighter with your blog. That is all.
(I just laughed so hard at this post I almost peed.)
"His peen even looked like it was ready to give the performance of a lifetime! From what I did see, it was standing straight up, eager to entertain us."
Maye Harry reads D-Listed and knew you were going to be there!
Living well is the best revenge.......
That's okay about not getting the peen pic. Although I had the bail money all lined up. Well, I did spend some of it on booze. Anyway, I have to go masturbate now. But I can't get that fucking, "The Renewed Mind is the Key" song out of my head. Seriously, it rocks.
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"Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes..."
- Johnny, "Airplane" 1980
I have to say that the picture you have there is beautiful! I think little 'arry grew up to be a very attractive lad. But how is his ACTING???
How the hell did I miss this story?
Reading this site is getting to be a full time commitment.
Movie studios could pretty much use this very same picture for the next Sex and the City movie, it's only missing meemaw Samantha and Rojo Caliente's bitch.
The New York Times should print Broadway reviews like this!
Waaaayyyy too young and scrawny to get me excited.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
I've got 10th row center seats next week but, alas, I'm verrrry nearsighted. So maybe I'll bring binoculars. Besides, I've probably seen bigger back in the day. Will look forward to Richard Griffith's belly, too, which I'm sure I'll spot without binoculars!
It's not very likely he's circumcised. That's really mostly a USA (and somewhat Canada) phenomenon these days, outside of religious reasons (or rare medical reasons). So the chance of an English boy not of Jewish or Muslim descent being circed is very low.
Maybe you should've had better seats, MK?
Hi snowy....yeah, the kids got sick and then got me sick....so i've been outta commission for a bit. but IM BACK!! dun dun DUN! ;P
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Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the Magic oak tree by the wobble dum dum tree in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives...
no spotlight on the main reason for seeing this show...i'm disappointed...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
girl_cheese: my thoughts exactly!
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Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
Nova: I was just wondering where your crazy ass was! HOLA! ♥
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
I bet he is circumcised...that pic was a fake anyway. I actually saw the real picture that the bottom half was taken from. My friend is still in denial that its a fake...she wants to believe. pfft. Still...she and I were THIS CLOSE to getting tickets and flying to NYC just to see it for reals.
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Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the Magic oak tree by the wobble dum dum tree in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives...
Okie...i think he is 19 now. So you're clean. lol
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Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the Magic oak tree by the wobble dum dum tree in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives...
Submitted by lovvyou on September 18, 2008 - 5:13pm.
is he really uncircumsized??? like in this pic?
http://www.popcrunch.com/harry-potters-penis/
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Of course, he's English. Unless you've a medical condition or are Jewish/Muslim, we leave them intact.
Circumsised peens weird me out but that's a cultural thing, I suppose.
If M.K. were a broadway critic, I would actually read broadway reviews
I'm sorry you didn't get a good view of the peen! Fuck those ushers, I woulda had my cellphone out and put the flash on! lol Ushers are less than toy cops so how can they take someones cell phone?
Yukadoodle doo! Potterpecker. Bet it smells of old cream cheese and haddock.
Submitted by Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 9:59am.
I would have paid large amounts of money to hear MK scream in a prissy gay voice to turn on the fucking lights so he could see dick...
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Wouldn't everyone?
That is what NIGHT VISION BINOCULARS are for. You can get them at Dick's.
Like, is it ok for us to be looking at his wee wee, Is he 18 yet? I feel naughty now! Wash me off, clean me up..
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
MK, you should have brought a pair of binoculars to help see the peen.
"Ummm"... is not an answer!" Judge Judy
Potter peen?
MK, you skank!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
I want to draw a nubbin on that chest!
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
He must of had to wack it backstage!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
So, let me get to the important part...is MK saying Harry Potter had a boner on stage? Whoa.
I feel like a perv but that kinda gets me going.
LOL! You funny, homegirl.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
It doesn't really matter how much junk he has when he's on stage with a horse. *inferiority complex*
MK
if you had shouting turn on the fucking lights I'd get a sex change and marry you.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
a boy, a horse, and a cock. sounds like the makings of a good literary fantasy series.
I dont get why this magical bitch has to be loving up on his pony in every picture of this play.
That aint right!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
is he really uncircumsized??? like in this pic?
http://www.popcrunch.com/harry-potters-penis/
I woulda brought a highpowered flashlight and scope to see that fucka. Cant shame me.
I wonder how many people would actually have gone to see it were it not for Harry Potter's wiener?
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
What a gyp! I'm with you, MK. I want a full, clear, long lasting view of his junk. If you're gonna get publicity and sell tickets based on junk showing--you need to show the junk! This is not the time to try to be classy and artful!
SHOW ME THE JUNK!!!!!
creepy, creepy, creepy pix...
Why can't all reviews be like this? Genius! Thanks MK.
The peen needs a stand-in in those shortcomings...
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Why be difficult when I have been applauded by Broadway that I am impossible!
Best. Review. Ever.
Somebody! Turn the fucking lights on! I can't see his dick!
I'm still wiping tears away HAHAHAHAHA
I'm bored with you now.
I would pay to hear MK yell that too.
Poor horsey.
http://www.modegreen.com/
Am I the only one who actually really wants to know what this play is actually about and not what DR's peen looks like...*hears crickets chirping*...yes, I guess I am...lol
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Somebody! Turn on the fucking lights! I can't see his dick!"
luv you MK!
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
I was expecting a post on how everyone in the audience was shooshing you as you set up the tripod and gun powder flash tray in the aisle but, you know, this was funny too.
I feel like we all just bonded with MK; him sharing his experience with Harry casting Wingardium Leviosa on his own wiener with us.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
I wanna hot box with Snoop Dogg!! fo shizzle