"My Pussy's Stuck In The Toilet"
Christie Klassette of Belmont, NC was in her kitchen when she heard her pussy screaming from the bathroom. Christie immediately ran over and found her cat Charlie stuck in the toilet.
Christie said: "He was splashing water everywhere. I thought he was just sitting there but when I went to pick him up he wouldn't move." Charlie's little pussy legs were stuck in the drain. She called 911 and within 5 minutes firefighters showed up at her door.
They used hammers to break the toilet. It was either break the toilet or break the pussy's legs. They made the right choice. A pussy with broken legs is not cute or nice.
Christie isn't sure how Charlie got stuck in the toilet. She thinks either her 3-year-old son tried to flush him down the toilet or maybe he fell in while trying to drink some water. It was the 3-year-old. Look at how he's throwing around that stuffed Elmo!
Or maybe Charlie was trying to fucking escape! Looking at a woman with no eyebrows all day long starts to make you crazy after a while. Seriously, give that ho a Sharpie!
Charlie is also up for adoption. Christie saved him from the streets a little while ago and never planned on keeping him. So if you're in the market for an adorable toilet pussy, Charlie is your cat.
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Cats have perfect balance and are extemely agile when they're in a jam. Highly unlikely the cat fell in and if he did couldn't scramble out. The kid tried to flush the cat.
Myself, I'd keep the cat and flush the kid down the toilet.
I've died and gone to hell -- a story on DListed from the town in which I went to high school.
I have NOT missed that accent. I'm surprised she didn't call the toilet "commode".
Too weird to live; too rare to die.
Is that Phoebe Price's sister?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 18, 2008 - 3:19pm.
Ditto for mine. It's a plaintive wail that at 5:30 a.m. is particularly demanding. So, I go in there and fill it up.
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Um, Diva will only drink it as it is coming out of the faucet!!!!!!
Yes, she is spoiled.
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Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
What is she saying -- toe-lit?!
Oh well, when I was a kid I used to say mayonnaise with two syllables. So I ain't one to talk. But she's not a kid.
My daughter's cat won't drink a sip of water unless it's Evian...I kid you not. She would rather die from dehydration than put her little kitty lips in anything but bottled water, which is crazy!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 18, 2008 - 11:01am.
Submitted by Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 9:56am.
How exactly does a kitten demand you fill up the sink, lol? Fuck you, kitty. You'll drink from the bowl or die!
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My Diva goes into the bathroom and sits in the sink and CRIES until I come in there and turn on the water for her.
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Ditto for mine. It's a plaintive wail that at 5:30 a.m. is particularly demanding. So, I go in there and fill it up. OR, I leave it filled up after tooth-brushing the night before. Sometimes he will make me empty the sink and fill it up fresh though. BITCH-ASS PUSSY!
How did this woman pass that kid's giant head down her birth canal? Hope she had a c-section.
LMAO poor kitty. My dog once got a tennis ball stuck on his fangs and couldn't get it off himself. I was pulling really hard to try and get it off, too, but I couldn't. I finally had to get a pair of plyers to pull it off. He also stole a jar of peanut butter once, and went outside, laid down, held it with his paws, and unscrewed the cap with his teefs. LOL Animals are amazing.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
LCT
well, it that case, he could at least call you pony or horsie..lol.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 18, 2008 - 1:38pm.
My Boyfriend calls me "on your knees, bitch"
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You're lucky. Mine doesn't even say my name, just pushes my head around by a handful of hair.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
The kid tried to flush the cat. He's got the look of a potato-headed, future serial killer.
My Boyfriend calls me "on your knees, bitch"
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
charlie was trying to make a run for it...some kind soul, please adopt charlie...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
Deb from heaven! *hugs and love*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by snowpiece on September 18, 2008 - 1:57pm.
Lo, we are having cocktails today starting at 4 so hurry the Trig up!
OH MAN! I want coktails at four!
and at right now o'clock!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
@LOLO,
You magnificent ass. I am going to hop a plane to NYC so we can get our game on in the nightlife of the big apple....
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Went out to get laid with former FB! Man, did he age...And not well. Record still stands...
I can't drink today, folks. I got in trouble this mornin' for being drunk when my bf got home from work last night. And Tuesday night. And Monday night.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
southern accents can be adorable.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 1:25pm
The evening round of The Kirby Derby, racing around for no reason.
Smoosh your wittle fwend for me when you get home, baby fwends.....omg.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Pudge calls me Boozebrain.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
Lo, we are having cocktails today starting at 4 so hurry the Trig up!
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Why do I read the news?
Stupid fucking roided up ex baseball player beat his GF's cat to death. UGH! Fucker.
LoLo!!
Oh god! I use to date a trader from New York and sexy times were fabulous!!! I love accents!!! Well, most of them.
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Clay pigeons are fuckers!
You dont have to call me darlin, Darlin.
You never even called me by my name!!!!!!
I HAVE A PROBLEM! uh oh hang on!
AND ILLLLLL hang around as long as you will let me
Let me! Let me!
fuck work im going to the bar to drink and play the juke box and sing under Snow PIeces window!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
yes, that's kirby. he's a little bigger now. =)
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
see Stoney, that would get me every time. Yummy.
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 10:21am.
LOL Mrs. Kravitz, your cat looks like an asshole. *hides*
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LOL
Don't let her hear you say that. She would NOT hesitate to cuttabeesch.
I swear she's possessed.
P.S. I wuv orange kittees
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Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 1:21pm
omg, is that your wittle fwend?
omg, I just wanna bite and smoosh the baby kitteh.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
LMAO Lo. they're like Yo, was it good for youse too?
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
My bf calls me "darlin'" with a southern accent. Melts my cold heart!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by snowpiece on September 18, 2008 - 1:48pm.
I like guys with Southern accents, esp when they call me "sweetheart" I guess it's just cuz it different.
Ya see there Snow Babe? THATS why I love me some Yankee dudes. Its different and I love when we are in bed and hes screaming, " Oh Oh youse guys. Oh youse guys this is so good yo!"
ha ha ha!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LOL Mrs. Kravitz, your cat looks like an asshole. *hides*
Of course, it's hard to compete with this:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v411/monicaw/?action=view¤t=Kirb...
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v411/monicaw/?action=view¤t=Kirb...
TOE-LIT!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Iz git my kitteh in my terlit.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Submitted by speakit on September 18, 2008 - 5:17pm.
HEY... whoa... wait a sec. I have a southern accent and I'm telling y'all right now, I'm secksy as hell. Don't even listen to me, cuz you might orgasm.
*SQUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIRRRTTTTTT* Damn! Too late y'all!
I came from Alabamie with a banjo on my knee!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I like guys with Southern accents, esp when they call me "sweetheart" I guess it's just cuz it different.
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
snowpiece on September 18, 2008 - 1:10pm
*gives snowy a cupcake*
Well, if it is true, the loons will certainly turn it and spin it and jack it off making it all about the children.
Then, they will have to pick a side.
Oh and of course it will be all Jen's fault and the big bad mean media.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Submitted by Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 5:10pm.
People, there is a difference between a southern accent and a redneck accent! I have a southern accent. I do not have a redneck accent. Therefore, I do not sound like a tard when I speak (except when I'm drunk). Please know the difference!
Is the gal in the video a redneck? If so, yum, i loooove redneck gals!
@C Word, V Pollard !!! Hahahaha you got it!
ok Stoney: say toilet.... ;P
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
HEY... whoa... wait a sec. I have a southern accent and I'm telling y'all right now, I'm secksy as hell. Don't even listen to me, cuz you might orgasm.
El Bastardo
Alright ya lying Cockney bastard! I respect you! Now put yur trousers back on!
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Clay pigeons are fuckers!
*takes hoff's hand*
Dear sweet Baby Jesus........
She called 911 about it? WTF?
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Caroline D'Amore - So Hot!
"kneeling next to M.E. to light candles and pray"
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by Stoney on September 18, 2008 - 1:40pm.
People, there is a difference between a southern accent and a redneck accent! I have a southern accent. I do not have a redneck accent. Therefore, I do not sound like a tard when I speak (except when I'm drunk). Please know the difference!
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN......YALL!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by islandgirl on September 18, 2008 - 1:06pm.
If it IS true, I wonder how the loons are going to spin it? Hahaha, I hear heads exploding.
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lol waiting for another wako.
the loons will gather somewhere in a deserted farm, take hostages and demand that brangy get back together or there'll be hell to pay LMAO
Submitted by UKer on September 18, 2008 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 18, 2008 - 1:00pm.
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lol you meanie, what did i ever do to you? i was just reportingb what i saw on another site
El Meanie. hmmmmmmmmm sounds good!
Stop going to that other site, you know the one, rhymes with Kenez Squilton grot prom. :o)
BRADIFUL COOPER: OOOOOOWWW you hit me, LOL OK OK I take it back, I'll go back and fight with the anti smokers Alliance to keep myself amused!
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
People, there is a difference between a southern accent and a redneck accent! I have a southern accent. I do not have a redneck accent. Therefore, I do not sound like a tard when I speak (except when I'm drunk). Please know the difference!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"