When JLo Speaks, Bullshit Comes Out
Triathlon champion and injured foot faker JLo tells People that she spends every free moment with her beloved Dragon Tales Twins. JLo said that she recently hired a nanny, so that she can have a little time to herself. HA!
She said: "I did it for a long time but we started using a nanny a few weeks ago. Most days I get up early with them. Then when the nanny comes, I can take a shower and give them their breakfast. She's there to help me get things done." JLo only leaves them to go to work. "I try to spend every free moment with the babies."
It must be wonderful to be JLo. You lay around on your rabbit comforter, taking in the sweet scent from $100 candles while telling a bunch of bullshit lies as though it was the truth.
JLo went on to talk about the magical mornings she spends with her newborns: "When they see you and have that big smile on their face – I live for that. And when I put them to bed at night and they melt in your arms. I give them a bottle and wind it down. I say, 'It's time for beddy-bye.' I hold them and sing a little song. By the time you know it, they are asleep."
This quote came right out of a Disney movie, right? In her mind, JLo is fucking Donna Reed. She probably has a writer on staff who feeds her all of these nauseating quotes.
Below is JLo shopping in St. Tropez yesterday. Before you say anything, shopping is not considered "free time" to JLo! It's part of the job description of a self-centered, delusional, Hollywood hobag!
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Ugh, she has that "I'm so damn hot!" face on. Which explains why that lady with the glasses and red lipstick is glaring at her. She probably has kids of her own and is running home to them, while J. Lo is all out trying to look hot or whatever! Shameless liar!
Your face!
Wow...i hadnt heard that she actually did that triathalon...i thought she was out for the count with a bum ankle. Speaking of bums...that rear view isnt a pretty one.
LOL @ battle pig!!!!
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Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the Magic oak tree by the wobble dum dum tree in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives...
gyeah:
Battle pig?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why airbrushing and all that styling in music videos is bad. When you're out and about walking the streets looking normal which happens to entail looking like a battle pig in a sack dress and with the papz trailing your ass everywhere, watch out.
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"I want to humble myself in front of a task like embroidery."
I can't make a comment any better than that headline.
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House & Wilson '08 -- Welcome to Couples Counseling
Submitted by kungfuduckie on September 18, 2008 - 4:43pm.
For someone who has a personal trainer,chef and JUST completed a Triathlon she looks mighty chunky!!
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yeah her arms look not chunky, but definitely not defined at all
Yeah, I see that the dt twins are right there with her.
Such a cunt.
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RIMADYL KILLS
is that benny medina in the background?
why is he fooling around with her foolishness?
For someone who has a personal trainer,chef and JUST completed a Triathlon she looks mighty chunky!!
Countdown to when Skeletor divorces Jlo's pretentious ass.
I looove the last thumbnail, with the woman in red lipstick glaring at her, and another woman, much cuter than J.Hog and in a more flattering outfit, walking past.
How now brown cow?
I hold them and sing a little song. By the time you know it, they are asleep.
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uh that's called a fucking coma dumbass. Your shitty voice has rendered your poor babies unconcious
She is what my friends and I would call a "squareback."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on September 18, 2008 - 4:40pm.
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dear god that is fucking funny tv...the dress is a bit ill fitting, the lady in the last pic snarling at her is awesome...and J-lo is a delusional self absorbed hack cunt
haaaack!
Below is JLo shopping in St. Tropez yesterday. Before you say anything, shopping is not considered "free time" to JLo! It's part of the job description of a self-centered, delusional, Hollywood hobag!
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I love you MK! Such truer words have never been spoken!
"I hold them and sing a little song. By the time you know it, they are asleep."
I fall asleep too when I listen to her music.
That outfit would be really cute....on someone else. It's obvious she thinks she has a bangin' body since she completed the triathalon. Whatever *rolls eyes* delusional bitch.
WHAT UP LADIES, ALMOST FRIDAY!!
THIS BITCH IS A FUCKING LYING SLUT!!
I SPEND ALL WEEKEND WITH MY 2 FAVORITE TWINS....BEER AND FOOTBALL!!
Thanks IslandGirl!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>#
<3
Submitted by Salem13 on September 18, 2008 - 12:35pm
I really like it. It tastes like coke but a lot less sweet which I prefer. Regular soda is too sugary.
Submitted by KD on September 18, 2008 - 1:08pm.
I bet her next album will be lullabies, so she can leave it with her nannies to be able to spend more time shopping.
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In Spanish of course, so she keeps it real.
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Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth
I do recall, those were the best times- most of all....
-Journey "Stone in Love"
xxyxz, this is for you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
I totally just got sprung!!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist , and a round thing in your face!!!!
Submitted by xxyxz on September 18, 2008 - 4:04pm.
I like big butts and I cannot lie
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You other brothers can't deny.
I bet she evicted an entire tribe of Indians before she slipped into that teepee of a dress.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
She is so full of shit, I bet she leaves smelly brown turdprints wherever she walks.
If she had been taking care of the twins the way a normal, non-millionaire mother does, we would not have heard or seen from her. She'd still be under a pile of dirty diapers and baby bottles. She wouldn't have had time to spew her delusional bullshit.
She is so full of shit, I bet she leaves smelly brown turdprints wherever she walks.
If she had been taking care of the twins the way a normal, non-millionaire mother does, we would not have heard or seen from her. She'd still be under a pile of dirty diapers and baby bottles. She wouldn't have had time to spew her delusional bullshit.
I bet her next album will be lullabies, so she can leave it with her nannies to be able to spend more time shopping.
"When JLo speaks, bullshit comes out"
And holy sock slots, the guy behind her is drinking it!
Submitted by TITS on September 18, 2008 - 2:59pm.
Submitted by justwondering on September 18, 2008 - 12:55pm.
Delusional wench. America deserves her for making her! That second photo is horrid. Fat ass, no waist and rolled shoulders.
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Did anyone else suddenly sit up straight upon reading that?
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Um... no! *looks left, looks right, yawns and stretches* ;)
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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
hey, a fat bitch has a thousand pelts to sew together for her next killer fashion line.
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
I like big butts and I cannot lie
I bet the brats fake sleep to get her to stop singing. I've seen her backup singers try it.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
Celebs always have perfectly wonderful relationships with their angelic children. That's why they all turn out so darn great! I mean look at all the contributions Potato Head Willis and Kimbo Stewart have made to society. Why, I don't know how civilization would go on without them!
((vomits))
GIVE me a FUCKING BREAK.
NO ONE believes you spend time with those babies, you bitch.
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Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth
I do recall, those were the best times- most of all....
-Journey "Stone in Love"
Submitted by justwondering on September 18, 2008 - 12:55pm.
Delusional wench. America deserves her for making her! That second photo is horrid. Fat ass, no waist and rolled shoulders.
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Did anyone else suddenly sit up straight upon reading that?
Delusional wench. America deserves her for making her! That second photo is horrid. Fat ass, no waist and rolled shoulders. Poor J-Lohontas really has no clue just how useless she is.
The only thing this snatch lives for is the smell of her freshly blooped poo times.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
I can't really hate on Jlow.(hides under desk) .... bitch got lucky in the $$ department.. but as a new mom bitch is full of shit.. MK is rigth those are nauseating quotes. Newborns are a lot of work and just a couple of free moments are not enough... I can't remember the last time I had a free moment to go shopping.
PocaNOTasss..yeah, that fucking heffer dress is baaaaad says the goat!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Submitted by Silvara0428 on September 18, 2008 - 2:51pm.
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HAHAHA!! NO WIRE HANGERS!!!
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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Damn. That is one unflattering outfit.
"Hush little babies, don't say a word
Momma's gonna squeeze you til you turd
Hush little babies don't make a noise
Momma's gonna take all your toys
Hush little baby
STFU!!!!!!!
NANNY get your f&cking a@@ in here!!!!!"
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
God, this woman annoys the living shit out of me.
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"How much is that doggie in the window?"
what Jlo means is that she gets a new nanny every few weeks because they can't stand working so many hours
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
I try to spend every moment I can with the two crickets that live in my garage. But sometimes I can't take all the **chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp** JESSUS FUKKIN CHRIST STOP RUBBING YOUR LEGS TOGETHER!!! ((throws shoe)) WHERE'S THE NANNNNNY!!! ::takes a swig from the flask::
Umm. I need some time to myself too!
HOWS IT GOIN JIMBO JIMBEROO???
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