Thursday, September 18th 2008

Does The Liberator Ramp Even Work?

In "Burning After Reading," George Clooney plays a sex addict who carries around the "The Liberator Ramp" and a vibrator called "The Silky." Page Six reports that the sales of both sex toys are on the up thanks to George and the movie. Some retail person said: "Small mentions of adult products in mainstream media can have an outsized effect on sales."

That ramp shit is obviously for dude-on-chick sex, but I'm still curious about it. Is it like training wheels? The website says "it strategically lifts your lover's hips to an altitude of 12 inches, offering access at critical angles that accentuate sensitivity."

It's priced at $112. I'm all for using shit to make your fuckey times experience more enjoyable, but couldn't you just use sofa cushions? And that shit better be machine washable. Genital juices start to really reek after a couple of days. Especially chunky ass jelly.

Speaking of asses, the ramp also allows sluts to do it doggy style for longer. I'm guessing it helps keep the dick from falling out. Because when the dick slips out, it really affects the mood in the room. Which reminds me. In straight porn, when the dick falls out, the dude usually slaps the chick's chocha with his peen a few times. What is the point of that? Is he preparing it for re-entry?

Posted by: Michael K


senorajoselina's picture

I have one of those... it's kind of overrated... however, it's great for when you are too drunk to stay up on your hands and knees for doggy style. Just bend your drunk ass over the tall part and relax on the nice, soft ramp...

M.E.'s picture

Angry mom - NO! I don't wanna look!

Stoney's picture

I think it falls out because you aint' moving it right or the chick gets too wet. Just my opinion. Stick it back in. No big deal.
__________________________________________

"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

gyeah's picture
Miss Priss's picture

Damn bunch of horney bitches up in this mofo! I'm getting sum tonight! YEAH

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Sugar Magnolia

gyeah's picture

Submitted by Phoebe on September 18, 2008 - 5:12pm.
If it falls out, it wasn't ready to be in there in the first place.

If it makes a slapping sound, it's not ready to go back in.

If he goes soft while you're on top, it's because he feel asleep because he isn't doing any of the work.

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Thanks Phoebe.

No but, see, it was hard but it went soft in like 2 microsesonds. that's some issues right there.

angry mom's picture

Submitted by M.E. on September 18, 2008 - 5:14pm.
taking a gander at that gilmore girls ad above the posts otta fuck up your horny times in a hot second...it did for me
:P pukatronic

Mel-Tang's picture

I don't know about any of that, but I DO know that I need therapy after reading "chunky ass jelly."

OMFG

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Khandi's picture

I plan on seeing 'Burn After Reading' because Brad Pitt being punched in the face is sooooo worth it.

LOVE CARROTTOP's picture

GODDAMNIT! WHY MUST THIS BE POSTED ON A DAY WHERE I'M SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED AND NOT GOING TO GET ANY?

Fuck. Punch me in the nose.

-------------------
Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?

I actually interviewed for a job at this place a couple of months ago to write copy for their catalogs and Web site. I'm no prude, but the owner of the company is a complete sleazeball. Plus, his job offer was laughably cheap. I told him where he could shove his ramp.

Phoebe's picture

If it falls out, it wasn't ready to be in there in the first place.

If it makes a slapping sound, it's not ready to go back in.

If he goes soft while you're on top, it's because he fell asleep because he isn't doing any of the work.

M.E.'s picture

FUCK! I've spent far too much time looking at sex toys now and I'm fucking horney.

CRAP!

Miss Priss's picture

I prefer it from behind anyway. They cum in like 3 minutes. lol

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Sugar Magnolia

angry mom's picture

the wedge ramp combo sounds appealing

gyeah's picture

I need coolin' baby you ain't foolin', i need to be sent back to skoolin'

Would this "ramp" prevent a guy from going soft after he gets mounted mission style? Can someone school me in what's that shit about?

Seriously, what's this about? Control issues? Mommy issues? The "Intimidating Goddess" and all that jazz?

Miss Priss's picture

Oh and it's machine washable

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Sugar Magnolia

Miss Priss's picture

They have something that looks just like this ramp thingy for people with trouble with their back. I used to work with people developmentally disabled and one of the residents had one cuz her back was screwed up.
Hers cost $40 from some health store. Way cheaper than $100+ fuck that

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Sugar Magnolia

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on September 18, 2008 - 4:37pm.

Or, just kick the Tony Hawk wannabes off the half pipe in your local skate park, get your tax dollar's worth, wash, rinse, repeat.

***********************************************
You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.

gyeah's picture

Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on September 18, 2008 - 5:07pm.
Um, go to your local fabric store, go to the cushion/pillow section, find the giant slabs of durable, stiffer foam rubber type shit they cut to size and shape...
Pick out some nice material for a cover and some water proof backing, the kind you iron on and is machine washable, iron on, no sewing, just wrap it all around and pin the shit out of it on the bottom and...

*drum roll*

VOILA! You have a fuckey time ramp.
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**taking notes**
Sounds good but dang by the time you do all that you could get fucked from here to Mars every which way. I'm fucking lazy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I want to humble myself in front of a task like embroidery."

Perezs Nemesis's picture

oh and in case anyone is interested...

http://www.liberator.com

totally NSFW!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My only regret is that I'll live to see all the trends I hated come back to life.

angry mom's picture

lolo-vanilla times!!!!!!!???? :D
LOOOOOOOLLLLL!
fucking funny! love it!
too many punctuations.
sorry!!!!
:)

LOVE ANDERSON's picture

Um, go to your local fabric store, go to the cushion/pillow section, find the giant slabs of durable, stiffer foam rubber type shit they cut to size and shape...
Pick out some nice material for a cover and some water proof backing, the kind you iron on and is machine washable, iron on, no sewing, just wrap it all around and pin the shit out of it on the bottom and...

*drum roll*

VOILA! You have a fuckey time ramp.

...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...

Team Valtrex's picture

That appears to be the Heidi Montag Job Interview Limited Edition, notice how well worn it looks?

***********************************************
You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.

angry mom's picture

cloon dog as a sex addict? really? don't know what to think...how's the movie anyone?

illychica34's picture

hahahaa mk.

Submitted by danigrl on September 18, 2008 - 3:19pm.
I think the dick slaps are to cover up for his error. Like "I meant to do that, slut. How about this? You like that, don't you?" When inside he's all "Why did that happen? Is my penis too small? She's gonna know and then I'll be stuck back in gay porn again."

Not that gay porn isn't awesome. Coz it is.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i agree. i think they slap it to cover up the error. and agreed i do love gay porn myself!

Oh my darlin Clementine's picture

hey all! its been a while...

oklahoma! why get all coy about ur goodness? if i get it on my hands, i make the guy im with lick it hahaha... idk they like it =)

as for dick slaps? sometimes its a fk up, sometimes for the guy to get hard again, and other times its to stimulate the clit.... idk i like it either way, it cracks me up lol

LoLo's picture

They look so horny dont they?

VANILLA TIMES!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Triscuit's picture

" Genital juices start to really reek after a couple of days. Especially chunky ass jelly."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I was reading this out loud to my friend and my 5 year old said"What does reek mean?" I said..
GET OUTTA HERE,BOY!!!!!!!

Better Off Dead's picture

Missy, I know, it's a great movie. And now when you see the episode of Family guy where Peter rides his maid like a horse and pulls up next to the Asian racer guys, you know what that is referencing

Perezs Nemesis's picture

lol @ ISprainedMyUvula...just tell your friend it's washable...a little Gain Fresh Scent detergent...low dryer...and it's fluid free and smells like springtime or a Summer's Eve ;-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My only regret is that I'll live to see all the trends I hated come back to life.

LoLo's picture

I saw a contraption like this at a garage sale once and i was wondering why my nanna said not to touch it.

_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

gyeah's picture

" Genital juices start to really reek after a couple of days. Especially chunky ass jelly."

UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I want to humble myself in front of a task like embroidery."

Team Valtrex's picture

Paris Hilton has one of these ramps, and there's a toll booth at the bottom.

***********************************************
You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.

LoLo's picture

How much is that fuckey pillow in the window
The one that lifts up your gals tail
How much is the fuckey pillow in the window
I do hope its washable cause of snail trail

______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

M.E.'s picture

Mmmmm kay....I'll stick to my pillow. Thanks.

missy's picture

Submitted by Better Off Dead on September 18, 2008 - 3:24pm.

sorry offtopic, but I just saw Better Off Dead for the first time last weekend.

FUCKING

AWESOME

MOVIE!!!!

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

lol Jill, that is a must around my house. A party just aint a party without it, like Lynnard Skynnard concert and no and Freebird

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I would come to a party at your house just to try it then, as long as you did not play Freebird.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Submitted by Perezs Nemesis on September 18, 2008 - 3:27pm.
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Is it hard to get jizz and snail trail out of velvet? Just wondering for a... friend.

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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ

letinstar's picture

the adam and eve website is selling this same contraption for $170...whatever...
_____________________________________________
that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc

Perezs Nemesis's picture

oh and it's $112 because it's made very well (light but sturdy!) and the covers are loverly...I'm partial to the velvet one ;-P

Although...you can actually buy pretty much the same damn thing at any store that sells yoga support cushions for half the price.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My only regret is that I'll live to see all the trends I hated come back to life.

Better Off Dead's picture

Submitted by Perezs Nemesis on September 18, 2008 - 4:24pm.

Better Off Dead you nailed it...my hubby does the same thing for the same reason.
.....
I get so pissed too! I try to play it off but I am thinking what the hell man, we only have 15 minutes before the guests arrive and you are back there FUCKING AROUND!!!

TITS's picture

Submitted by Perezs Nemesis on September 18, 2008 - 1:24pm.

Better Off Dead you nailed it...my hubby does the same thing for the same reason.

As for you ramp haters...the pic does not do it justice. It's best for doggy and anal...and MUCH easier to clean than a pile of pillows and blankets...the cover just zips off and voila...into the washer!
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Does it come in a choice of fabrics and patterns?

I'd like the flowered plastic stuff they use for picnic table cloths. Jaunty!

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by Better Off Dead on September 18, 2008 - 4:24pm.

And when I run out of K-Y Jelly and end up substituting Smucker's, how do I get rid of all these ants?

***********************************************
You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.

xxyxz's picture

TITS

good call

TITS's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on September 18, 2008 - 1:15pm.

I'm old, I just use the "doggy style" setting on my Craftmatic adjustable bed.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh fucking No. Is that why old people have those beds? For adjusted sex positions?

whimper.

Perezs Nemesis's picture

Better Off Dead you nailed it...my hubby does the same thing for the same reason.

As for you ramp haters...the pic does not do it justice. It's best for doggy and anal...and MUCH easier to clean than a pile of pillows and blankets...the cover just zips off and voila...into the washer!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My only regret is that I'll live to see all the trends I hated come back to life.

Better Off Dead's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on September 18, 2008 - 4:23pm.

OK, on girl/girl porn, why does one chick always have to suck the strap-on?

male fantasy, I gather

missy's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on September 18, 2008 - 3:15pm.
I'm old, I just use the "doggy style" setting on my Craftmatic adjustable bed

**

bwaahahahaa!! ahh TV, missed ya :)

so DOES ANYONE HAVE ONE OF THESE THINGS??? can anyone on the internets tell me why this thing is being sold for $112?
_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Team Valtrex's picture

OK, on girl/girl porn, why does one chick always have to suck the strap-on?

***********************************************
You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.